Chapter 11: Play a song for me?
Christmas mornings. They are always tricky for us knowing that every moment is an opportunity for fashion. My readers will know I am one of those people who believes that if someone's going to look at you, then why not make it worth their while? This, of course, does not override the principle of dressing for occasion and situation. Added to that is the 'dress in your style' rule that should always be honoured. Choosing your pajamas for Christmas morning can therefore be a momentous task. It has to match your skin tone and reveal just a suitable amount of skin, yet be comfortable and functional. This is a decision you can contemplate for weeks, going from shop to shop browsing their assortment until you find a combination you are reasonably happy with. Or you can do like my violinist and throw on that bizarre one with the teddy bears in Santa hats that has been worn at least a year to many with holes where the heels have dragged over the floor, and look absolutely adorable. Sometime life is a lot simpler than we give it credit for.
- VonTrappChild
"Hey, when's your Christmas concert? That's a yearly thing, right?" Kurt looked up from his planer at Blaine to see a slightly confused look sweep over his face. The two of them were sitting on Blaine's sofa, Blaine's homework spread over the coffee table.
"Yeah, it is. Why?" Blaine asked slowly.
"I need to know the date so I can plan around it. December is a packed month, you know, with work and the ND weekend, and presents and everything."
"Right. Why are you planning around it?" Blaine looked genuinely puzzled, his pen hovering over the sentence he was about to write.
"I was planning on going," Kurt replied slowly.
"You know you don't have to, right? I mean I don't expect you to, or anything."
"I want to come." Blaine's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Unless you don't want me to?"
"I do. Or, I mean. You can if... It's in two weeks, so. I can get you tickets if you're sure you want them." Blaine said with a sense of finality, returning to his homework.
"Right, well. You do that." Kurt said after a few moments of staring at his boyfriend. "Actually, no. Not alright. Why don't you want me to come? Are you ashamed of me? is that why I haven't met any of your classmates?" Kurt snagged the pen out of Blaine's hand to force him pay attention to their conversation.
"What?" Blaine said in utter disbelief "No, I'm not ashamed of you!" he tried grabbing the pen back, but Kurt wouldn't let him. "Kurt!"
"Then why? Why haven't I heard you play since before we got together? I know there's been concerts and competitions I haven't been invited to. You never talk to me about school or what you're working on. I don't hear you practice! Is it something I have done? Why are you shutting me out from that part of you." Kurt looked at Blaine, face hard and arms crossed over his chest.
"I'm not shutting you out!" Blaine defended. Kurt raised an eyebrow, about to respond. "I'm not! I don't talk about it much because I don't want you to be bored. I don't want you to make you feel like you have to waste time on something that doesn't interest you." Blaine argued, pushing himself towards the other end of the sofa.
"Don't you dare decide what I'm interested in." Kurt pointed a finger at Blaine, his eyes growing cold as ice.
"Oh come on, Kurt! I'm your boyfriend. I'm not going to love you any less if you don't like what I'm studying."
"This has got nothing to do with how or why we love each other! This is about you not letting me in!" Kurt got to his feet, too frustrated to stay seated.
"I am!.. I'm trying here. I'm trying so hard not to lose you."
"What?!" Kurt's voice dropped, his arms falling against his sides. "Blaine, you're not going to lose me! Why Would you even think that?"
"That's what normally happens," Blaine mumbled, looking of to the side. Kurt slowly sat back down.
"Blaine, honey, I'm not going to leave you for getting passionate about what you are going to spend your life doing. I promise! You're amazing at what you do, and I want to share that with you."
"Please don't make promises like that." Blaine mumbled still looking of to the side.
"Blaine," Kurt place a gentle hand on Blaine's knee, "Honey, I'm sorry your past boyfriends were jerks, but I meant everything I've just said."
"Kurt," Blaine turned to send Kurt a reproachful look, dampened by the tears in his eyes.
"No. They were jerks. If they didn't understand the wonder of your music, then screw them."
"It's not just ex-boyfriends, and it doesn't matter. Classical music isn't exactly the hottest of topics. I've learned to deal with that a long time ago." Blaine finally turned fully towards Kurt.
"Sweetheart, you need to listen to me, okay? No, classical music isn't the most mainstream genre, and I'm sure there a lot of people who doesn't get it or want to have in-depth discussions about it . But you don't get to decide that for them. You can't not talk to people because you think they might not like what you have to say," Blaine looked down at his hands held securely between Kurt's, "I, for one, actually like classical music. Even more so now, that I have you and follow your blog. In fact that's a side of you I'd like to see more of. Those passionate rants about music that are actually much more about life, they make me fall in love with you even more each time I read through them,"
"They do?" Blaine asked, tears in his eyes and his voice.
"Yeah," Kurt whispered, giving Blaine's hand a squeeze. Blaine held Kurt's eyes for a few moments before leaning in to press a kiss against Kurt's lips.
"I really, really love you," Blaine whispered, "I'm sorry. I just get scared sometimes. I'll try, I promise."
"So... does this mean I can come to your concert? And be introduced to your friends." Kurt asked before kissing the slow smile of Blaine's face. "We all get scared sometimes, honey. Just talk to me next time, okay?"
"Yeah. I know, I will." he leaned in for another kiss, "And I'd love to introduce you to the guys. I actually think you'd really like them." this time Kurt kissed Blaine slow and soft as he slid his hand around his boyfriend's neck. "There's... there's this piece, that I've sort of been wanting to play for you sometime." Blaine ventured after a little while. "Maybe I could... play it now?"
"Of course! I'd love to hear it, sweetheart."
Blaine wasn't just beautiful, standing with his violin tucked under his chin, a warm smile on his face. He was pretty hot, too, Kurt observed. He was sitting on Blaine's bed, his boyfriend standing in front of him. Only the lamp on the desk in the corner was on and it was almost dark in the room.
"So. This is for you, my love." Blaine was obviously nervous as the bow hit the strings. Kurt couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of him when he recognized the song Blaine was playing with an intense and sincere look on his face. Katy Perry's Teenage Dream sounded surprisingly good on solo violin. After a few bars Blaine stopped, smiling at Kurt. "Okay, sorry." he said, "That wasn't the piece i meant. I just. I'm really nervous, sorry. This one always makes me think of you, and I really love it, so. Here goes."
The piece was beautiful, playful and light. Kurt found himself unable to do anything but stare at his boyfriend, completely captured by the music. Blaine was as amazing as Kurt remembered from the Christmas before, completely absorbed in the music, looking as if he was somewhere otherworldly. Once the last note drifted of the room was left in complete silence as the two of them returned to the present. Kurt slowly got to his feet as Blaine let the violin drop from his shoulder. Slowly, not making a sound, Kurt wound his arms around Blaine's neck, locking eye with his boyfriend for a moment before pressing his lips against Blaine's in a kiss filled with promises for the rest of the night.
Kurt let his head rest tiredly against the headrest of the plane seat, turned towards where his boyfriend was curled against the wall of the plane, eyes closed against the white winter sun bouncing of the low-hanging cloud cover. After three cramped weeks they were finally on their way to Ohio and ten days of family, food and relaxing by fires. Normally Kurt would be something close to a nervous wreck by this point of the journey, but this time he felt reassuringly at ease with it all. He had held the promise he had made Blaine back in August, and found a therapist he was now perfectly comfortable sharing his secrets, fears and thoughts with. The first few months had been tough, but then he had started to get truly better. The return to Ohio, with all the memories that entailed, was still daunting, but for the first time in four years he felt like he was prepared to deal with that. Seeing his six month old step-niece for the first time in person was only an added bonus. The plane started its descent towards Columbus, stirring Blaine from his light sleep. The man's eye blinked open, focusing slowly on Kurt's face.
"Hi there," he whispered hoarsely, "You doing okay? I didn't mean to sleep for the whole trip like that, sorry,"
"I'm fine. Just been thinking about stuff. And watching you sleep, my favourite thing!"
"Oh hush you," Blaine mock-groaned, pushing himself of the wall in favour of snuggling awkwardly against Kurt over the armrest that had to be down for the 30 + minutes it would take for the plane to land. "I can't wait to spend Christmas with you," Blaine mumbled clearly still half asleep.
"I can't believe your parents are okay with you staying for Christmas morning." Kurt said, leaning his head against Blaine's.
"I did have to do some pleading. They look forward to meeting you,"
"Hmm" Kurt hummed, closing his eyes and letting the light rumble of the plane drifting through the snow lull them both into a state of not quite sleep.
Both Carole and Finn were there to pick them up when they made it through baggage claim. As usual Finn was making a spectacle out of himself, waving his long arms in large circles.
"Hey, bro," he greeted, pulling Kurt in for a hug as soon as he was within reach. "And good to see you again," he said offering Blaine a hearty clap on the shoulder. At the ND Christmas weekend a few weeks prior he had insisted on meeting Blaine, having missed the opportunities before then. Carole greeted them equally as warmly before ushering them towards the exit.
"Lisa and the baby are waiting for us at home, and I'm sure you're tired, both of you." She explained, looking excited and happy to have her family under one roof.
"Hey Carole." Kurt said entering the almost dark kitchen, where his stepmother was sat at the table a novel and a cup of coffee in front of her.
"Hey sweetie. You need anything?" Carole straightened up, peeling her reading glasses of.
"No, no. I'm fine. Blaine's asleep - he's had finals and concerts for the past two weeks, so." Kurt made his way to the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup. "I thought maybe we could talk?" He sat down opposite her, trying not to let her surprise overwhelmed him.
"Sure. Anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" Carole sent him a warm inviting smile, gripping her cup with both hands.
"Not really. It's just... Been a while, I guess." Kurt said to the table rather than to Carole. "I've started seeing someone. A therapist, I mean." He then added.
"Yeah? That sounds like a good idea." Carole said, slowly sipping her coffee. "How's it going?"
"It's going well, I think. I feel... Better. Like I can deal with life better, you know? Like life is much more easy now. And I'm happier, too, like, it's deeper rooted. It's easier to be happy and not let little stupid things get to you."
"I'm glad to hear it. You look better, too. More grounded somehow, more confident." Kurt smiled shyly looking into his cup.
"I'm sorry i have been so distant these last few years," he said after a few moments of silence, "it was just too painful. I could only deal with my own were so in love, it's not fair you only got a few years together,"
"I know sweetie. It's okay. You're here now, happy and living your life. That's all I could ask for." There were tears in Carole's eyes, but her smile was genuine. Kurt grabbed her hand on the table giving it a warm squeeze. "Now tell me more about that boyfriend of yours. He looks like a wonderful man!" For the first time since his fathers death the two of them stayed up late into the night, sharing small and big, getting to know the other again.
AN: So, I actually have a few options for the piece that Blaine plays for Kurt: Handel's Xerxes, largo, which some may know from the BBC TV series of Pride and Prejudice (1995). I really like R. Hoffstetter/ Haydn's String Quartet in F major, op. 3, no. 5, it's a little bit lighter than the other one. Bach's air is also a possibility. (since I imagine Blaine to be a Baroque violinist in this, I have chosen things from this period. But as I also imagine him and his quartet to play at weddings and functions, so there's really free grab of music for him to play. Please do let me know if there's anything else you think could be fun. I'd love to hear from you!). Chapter 12 later today... which is the last chapter, so. See you then.