Standard disclaimer : I do not own Bleach.

Turning right, turning left

Chapter 2 : Sleepless night

I can't sleep tonight. I just lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking about many things that happened today. Yes, many things have happened today. I'm dating with Orihime today and it was our first date. But this is not the reason why I'm sleepless tonight.

How should I begin? Maybe I should start from Orihime first. I must say it is quite a strange feeling to date a close friend whom you have known for years. I mean Orihime and I have known each other since high school. I have never viewed our relationship as anything more besides friendship. That is until the day when she walked up to me, suddenly gave me a peck on my cheek and told me that she likes me for all these years.

I went to confide to Tatsuki later but it was obviously a mistake. She scolded me mercilessly for being so blind all these years when everyone else knows about it. How can I not see it all these years? The way her eyes light up every time when she saw me, the way she blushed and the way she always avoid direct eye contact with me whenever I speak to her... I guess Tatsuki is right that I must have been blind.

I trully admire Orihime's bravery and she really surprised me by her confession. She put me to shame that a soft mannered girl like her is much honest about her feelings compared to a guy like me. That's when I decided to give it a try, give both of us a chance to see if things can develop from here.

Everything turned out well except that she accidentally splashed her coke on my pants when we ate at the fast food restaurant, soaked my shoulder with tears and smeared her non waterproof mascara when we were watching a romantic movie in the cinema, and... I'll leave it and explain later. In short, we did things that most dates did – eating lunch together, went to the cinema later, hanging out in the shopping mall for a while (I can't stand shopping) before I walked her home.

Everything is just fine until I ruined it all on our way back to her home when we passed by our former high school. I could not explain what got into me but the sudden impulse to sneak into the school was overwhelming that I just could't resist it at the moment. When I told Orihime my plan, her big and innocent eyes widened in disbelief.

"What? What if we get caught?"

But she gave in eventually and climbed to my back in order to get herself onto the wall. Once she succeeded, I leaped onto the wall myself. That's when I suddenly felt that someone is watching us from a distance but I didn't sense any presence of a hollow. So I decided not to tell Orihime and act as if nothing happens. I didn't want to alarm her for nothing.

I tried to catch Orihime from the ground but being true to herself, she landed flat on top of me instead. She apologized frantically for the n time (sigh) but I comforted her that I am fine. Whatever/whoever it is, I could still felt its gaze watching us. So I got up quickly and sneaked into the school building with her.

I was fully on my guard and I didn't talk much. Being as sensitive as her, I think she noticed it too. But she tried her best to keep smiling and cracking up silly jokes while we walked in the building. Oddly, that thing did not follow us into the building and I loosened up a bit.

A tiny, warm feeling crept up to my chest when I saw that our former classroom hasn't changed much. I still remember exactly where we sat in the class. I went to my seat but something caught my eyes. A bunny cartoon was drawn childishly on the desk next to me. It used to be Rukia's seat. Rukia... her name struck me in the head.

It was her! Only she would know how to draw such a stupid bunny. The mark was still fresh on the dusty surface. She was here not long ago! Shit! Could it be her? I got up and hurried out from the class immediately.

"Ichigo, wait!" I heard Orihime's voice behind me but I did not glance back or halt to wait for her. I kept on running until I reached the field. But no one was there. She was gone. I stood there in silence until Orihime finally caught up with me.

"Ichigo..." she called me softly.

"I'm sorry. Let's go home now." I cut her off before she had any opportunity to say anything else.

Neither of us spoke on our way home. The atmosphere was heavy and there was an awkward silence between us. We were both drowning in our own thoughts. At last when we reached her house, I asked her, "Don't you want to ask me anything?"

"It's not necessary. If you want to tell me, you will. I'll just wait until the day you are ready to tell." She answered calmly. Her eyes shone with bitterness for a second, but they recovered quickly enough, so quickly that I was left wondering if I had just imagined it. She gave me a faint smile before she turned her back and went into her house.

You have once said something similiar to me before. It was the day when I visited my mother's grave with my family three years ago. I asked you the same question. What have I done? I cursed myself for being such an idiot to ever bring up that question. I have hurt both of you. Can you ever forgive me?

Orihime... she deserves a better guy than me. She deserves to be with someone who'll trully cherish her. I'm sorry. I've tried but I'm just not that guy.

But I'm certain of one thing for now, more than ever. I want you back, Rukia. Tomorrow I shall pay a visit to Uruhara's shop. That man always has a way with things. But will you wait for me? This time I promise I'll never let you go again no matter what.