Hello all you wonderful people! Chapter 9 is up~. ^^~
Ahh this chapter's longer than I expected it to be. *feels accomplished* XD
Usually when I'm posting these chapters, I'm usually in a hurry, but today I actually have time to spare. :3
Soo I'm going to answer the reviews I should have answered before. Sorry for late replies. T_T
austriantatious: Thank you sooo much for always reviewing! Reading them always makes me really happy. *hugs* Peter's probably the only role holder Alex hasn't met yet in Hearts, buuut I've already planned out how they'll meet in the future. XD
Hope Diamond: Hurray! *high fives* XD Ahh I unfortunately can't tell you who Alex ends up with, but you get an idea on who her suitors might be. xP And sorry, but I can't tell you what the thing is yet. It'll spoil the story. And the suspense is cause I want to drive the readers crazy! Joking. :P But it gets you wondering~.
I am a stegosaurus asdf movie: If you're still reading this, I have finally decided on Alice's suitor!
Everyone: Thank you to all who helped me decide on who Alice pairs up with! Love you guys!
*EDIT*
I have to stop forgetting the disclaimer... *head desk*
Disclaimer: I have not, does not, and will not ever own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but it'd be nice if I did~.
-Chapter Nine-
-Mission Two and Deal With a Cat-
"Is there something wrong, Alex?" Nightmare asked as I stared blankly at my hands.
"Hmm? Maybe…"
Nightmare was starting to look annoyed.
"Don't tell me you learned how to block your thoughts?" he asked as a brow twitched.
"Maybe? I mean since you can already read my mind, I decided to just keep it blank. And when a thought starts to come, I'll just blurt it out loud," I said while looking at Nightmare with a bored expression.
"By the way, you look like someone who can easily be bullied," I added.
"AM NOT! I happen to be a very important role holder!"
"Riiight. Being a rapist is sooo outstanding."
"I'M NOT A RAPIST! Honestly, both you and Gray are so mean to me," Nightmare said with a humph and crossed his arms.
"Gray? Who's Gray?" I tilted my head to the side with curious eyes.
"Ehh? Well someone you don't need to worry about for now. You won't be meeting him anytime soon," Nightmare said while regaining his composure.
*Silence*
I went back to staring at my hands.
"What is it? Is there something wrong?"
"Well it's just that I feel like I'm missing something."
*Stares*
"O-okay there's something definitely wrong with you! You're acting strange!" Nightmare exclaimed as he waved a finger at me.
I placed a finger to my lips and looked up at Nightmare with innocent eyes.
"What do you mean strange?"
"Evil? Are you plotting something evil? !" Nightmare asked while panicking and coughing up blood.
"What the heck do you mean by evil? !" I asked, being snapped out of my earlier thoughts.
"Could it be that you've f-f-"
*Cough*
I watched in pity as the blood came pouring out of the incubus' mouth as he fell to his knees. He was just too pathetic to yell at when in such a terrible state.
"DON'T PITY ME! Are you planning to commit murder?"
*Freeze*
"Why the heck would I kill anyone?" I asked, not sure how Nightmare came up with something so absurd.
"…F-forget it…"
Nightmare tried his best to act clueless.
*Twitch*
FORGET PITY!
"WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAYS? ! LIKE I'M REALLY GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY! THE NERVE OF YOU!" I snarled while crushing Nightmare's face with the heel of my shoe.
"P-please… f-f-forgive… me…"
The incubus was suffering a lot.
Letting him go, I crossed my arms and glared at him.
"Don't ever suggest such a thing again!"
"Of course… I… I'm glad you think that way."
I started to feel uneasy. I'm not sure why, but the way he said that made me feel like there was something he wasn't telling me. Actually it was obvious since I met this incubus that he's been keeping things from me.
"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is troubling you then?" Nightmare asked.
"It's nothing."
"Alex!" Alice shouted as she rushed towards me and gave me a hug. "I was so worried."
"I'll be off to the Castle of Hearts," Ace said as he waved good-bye.
Alice and I stared at him as he walked off in the wrong direction. Neither of us felt like telling him. After all, he'd find his way there. Eventually…
"So that's why you took forever to get back here," Alice said in a monotone voice.
"Exactly," I said, not feeling too pleased with the long "adventure" Ace and I had.
"So where's Dee and Dum?" I asked, wanting to share a new mission I came up with. It's true they were murderers, but Julius did say it was "normal". And it didn't look like those two would do anything to harm sweet Alice.
"They're in their room. But before you even think about seeing them, how about a meal?"
"But I'm not hungry."
"No buts. You really need to consider eating your meals," Alice said as she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me towards the mansion. It wasn't my fault I never felt hungry.
"So what's the next mission?" Dee asked while laying on his bed. Dum sat beside me, looking overjoyed.
I cleared my throat then stood tall on the bed, pointing at the boys. (Of course my shoes were off.)
"Today is Mission Two: RABU RABU DOKI!" I said with a smirk. I had thought carefully about this next one.
"Rav rav docki?" Dum asked, both twins feeling very confused.
"No, rabu rabu doki. Like love love heartbeat!" I said excitedly.
"We don't get it," said the twins as they frowned.
"Explain."
"Of course," I said while raising my index finger. "Maiden or male: One can never stop the quick beats of love when trapped in a dark room alone with the opposite sex."
"So you're locking us in a room?" Dum asked in confusion.
"Yeah, with Alice. This is guaranteed to work, trust me."
Dee and Dum looked at each other than back at me.
"We don't get it," they said in unison.
"Ahh but of course you wouldn't," I said as I sighed lovingly. "You are only pure little children after all~."
"Pure little children?" Dee asked. He and Dum burst out into laughter.
"Sister, just what part of us is pure?" Dum asked while holding on to his stomach.
I crossed my arms and glared at the boys.
"Well you're pure when it involves love."
"Pfft! Sister, you really don't know us well. To call us pure," Dee said through laughs.
"Well have you ever had sex?" I asked in a serious tone. That got the boys to quiet down.
"No," Dum answered.
"Have you ever masturbated?"
"…"
"…"
"No…" the boys responded warily.
"Good. Don't even try."
"So anyways, if you've never had sex then you're obviously still pure when it comes to love."
"I'm not sure that's how it works," Dee said as he sweat-dropped.
"Nonsense! Now listen to what I have to say."
"Hey sister!" Dum interrupted.
"What is it, Dum?"
"Have you ever masturbated?"
I froze in shock at the question.
"NO WAY!" I shouted as I grabbed a pillow and threw it at Dum.
"Sister, that hurt."
"I doubt it. Now listeeeen." After I was sure I got the boys' attention, I continued with the plan.
"Now we'll be doing this at the Amusement Park. I'll need to ask Gowland for a room there."
"Why's that?" Dee asked.
"Well I'll pretend that I want to spend the night at the Amusement Park and ask Gowland if he'll let me stay. I remember seeing a lot of rooms there the last time we went."
"But why are you pretendin' to stay there?"
"Well if he lets me stay, I'll get a key to a room. And I'll be the only one out of us four who has one," I said with confidence.
"Go on."
"So I'll tell Alice that I want to meet her at the room at a certain time period. Next, I'll give you boys the queue on when to head to that said area. You will go in there with Alice and act surprised while closing the door behind you. Then I'll lock it from the outside. And then you make your move by seducing her. And next…"
*CRASH*
I stared in fright as I stood dumbfounded, watching a chair fly out the window. Alice was in that room screaming at the top of her lungs, calling those poor boys perverts and molesters.
"I guess… my plan didn't work…" I said to myself feeling happy that I was outside where it was safe.
"But maybe there's a chance!"
"What in tarnation is goin' on? !" shouted Gowland as he headed towards the room of chaos.
Yeah, not going to work. I took that as my queue to leave. The farther away, the safer it was. I could only hope that Dee and Dum would forgive me later on. Come to think of it, I've done more bad than good for those boys.
Day suddenly changed to night as I found the entrance to the Amusement Park. It was probably best to stay there for now and wait for Alice and the twins to come by.
As I waited, someone decided it was a good idea to jump me from behind which caused me to shriek in fear.
"You sound cute when you're scared," said a familiar voice as he hugged me from behind.
"Hello Boris…" Did he really have to show up now? Of course since we were at the Amusement Park, chances of meeting him were high… unfortunately.
"You're so mean, Alex."
"And why's that?" I asked, not understanding what Boris meant.
"Ditching me at the maze to be with the clockmaker," he said while squeezing me tightly.
"I didn't ditch you to be with Julius. I went to go look for Alice," I argued.
"Don't lie to me. I saw you in his arms."
"Oh that… I wasn't feeling too well at that time, and I guess I fainted." I wasn't sure if it was just me, but the way Boris spoke felt strange.
"Is that so?"
"I'm telling the truth," I said, feeling irritated. The way he said that made it feel like he didn't believe me.
"Hmm. Well don't get too close to him. Someone like you doesn't belong with such a gloomy guy," the cat said while smirking.
"So I guess you're saying I'm better off with you," I said with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
"I'm glad you finally figured that out. How about we go party?"
I was about to reject the offer until I felt a nibble on my ear. This caused my face to grow hot as my body became numb.
I flinched and jolted away from him, rubbing the ear he nibbled on.
"Don't do that!" I shouted while shaking.
"Woah, I didn't expect you to react that much. Could it be that your ears are one of your weak spots?"
"What does that even mean? !" I was getting really fed up with this cat.
"Oh? So you don't know?"
I remained silent, not sure of how to react.
"Well I could always teach you," Boris said as he closed the distance between us.
"Don't even think about it," I said while quickly backing away.
I noticed the evil grin on his face that sent a cold shiver down my spine. I had the sudden urge to high tail it out of there and run far, far away… very far away… Maybe I could learn Chinese? Wait, was there even a China in this world? That wouldn't make any sense… But nothing does in this Wonderland.
"Aww, you're never any fun. It was just a joke you know."
"Shut up. I hate cats anyways," I lied. I actually loved cats except for Boris, but any excuse would be good enough if it meant getting rid of him.
"Hate? !" Boris asked in surprise. "What's there to hate about us?"
"Everything. Now leave me be," I said while walking away from him.
Boris wasn't going to let it end here.
"Hold it. At least give me a chance."
Stopping in my tracks, I turned to face him, not feeling too pleased with this.
"What do you mean?"
"Well I saw what happened earlier. It looks like that "mission" of yours was a huge failure."
"Tell me something I don't know," I said while glaring at the cat.
"Listen, not to burst your bubble or anything, but I don't think any of your missions are gonna work. I mean you didn't start too long ago, and you managed to get Alice to trash an entire room and attack the twins."
"You know I'm not sure what irritates me more: What you just said or the fact that you can say all that with that happy-go-lucky smile plastered onto your face," I said as I crossed my arms.
"Now hold it, doll. Let me finish."
"I'm not a doll."
"I have an idea that'll get your plan to work. It's fail proof," Boris said, ignoring my last sentence.
"Oh really?" I raised a brow. Exactly what did this cat have in mind?
"Nya. But you're gonna have to cooperate with me," Boris said as he leaned closer.
I took a few steps back, completely in defense mode.
"Way to hurt, Alex."
"Whatever, just what do you mean by cooperate?"
"Well that's simple. Let me teach you about love and help you pair the twins with Alice."
"You?"
"Yeah. I obviously know a lot more about love than you do seeing how you've never experienced it before."
"Are you sure that what you know about is actually called love and not lust?" Boris did look like a playboy after all.
"Ouch. Trust me on this one. I'm a pro when it comes to romance," Boris said, brimming with confidence. Of course he himself had never been in love before, but he wasn't going to admit that.
"How do I know this isn't some kind of trap?"
"I'll give you my word as a Cheshire cat."
"…That's not enough…"
"Hmm really?"
Boris thought to himself, ear twitching cutely. I tried my best to ignore it.
"I got it! How about this?" the cat asked with a grin. "If I fail to help you get Alice and the twins together, then I'll leave you alone for good."
"R-really?" I asked in awe.
"You have my word."
Now this was a tempting deal. If Boris failed to help, I'd be rid of him forever.
"Deal," I said as we shook hands. "Now how are you going to teach me?"
"It's simple. I'll show you what to do, so that way you can get a feel of what's going on. Then all you have to do is put the plan into action."
"Show me how? Why not just tell?" Was he going to act it out or something? The thought of him acting it all out seemed kind of funny to me.
Boris chuckled a little, golden cat eyes glimmering.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. But before we begin, I'd like to share a riddle with you," Boris said mischievously.
"A riddle? Why?" I blinked in confusion.
"Just listen," Boris said as he closed the distance between us.
"If you want to lock the chest, you must first find the key. Can you guess what that means?"
"Yeah. I have some chest and can't lock it until I grab the key, right?"
"No, Alex. You're wrong."
"What do you mean wrong?"
"This is a riddle. Riddles hold more than one meaning. You need to figure out what the other meaning is."
"Ohh so it has nothing to do with an actual chest and key then?"
"Nya, that's right. Now since this is your first riddle, I'll give you another chance."
"Okay. Well then…" I thought long and hard to myself.
Boris looked like he was enjoying himself as he waited for a response.
After some time, I felt like my brain was going to explode.
"Argh! Boris, it could mean a lot of things!" I complained. There were just too many meanings, and I only got one chance? !
"Woah, chill. No need to stress, doll," Boris said while trying to calm me down.
"How about I'll just let this be your homework? Don't have to answer right away, just when you think you've figured it out."
"Ehh sure…" I wasn't too sure if I'd ever figure this one out. I never did pay any interest to riddles before.
Wait. Did he just call me doll again?
"FORGET IT!" shouted a familiar voice.
Boris and I turned to see Alice marching towards us from a distance with the twins close behind.
"Well how about your first lesson in three time changes? You can come meet me here," Boris said quickly.
"Sure, but I don't like walking through the forest alone."
"Oh really? Is that so?"
"Well then, how about I pick you up?" The cat was looking much too happy for comfort.
"Uhm sure," I said, not realizing what I was getting myself into.
"Nya, see you then. Don't forget," Boris said as he left.
"Was that Boris?" Alice asked as she walked up to me.
"Yeah," I said quickly while facing her.
"I see…" Alice then glared at me.
"And where were you?" she asked, arms crossed.
"H-huh?"
"You said you wanted to meet me then vanished. And you don't come back! Tell me what's going!" she demanded.
I had to admit, Alice could be pretty scary when angry.
"I-I got lost," I lied.
"Oh. Well maybe I should just keep you at my side at all hours from now on?"
I gulped at the sound of that.
"Please don't," I begged.
"We'll see," Alice said with a raised brow then marched right past me. "We're going home, Alex. Come!"
"Yes Alice…"
"Are you tryin' to get us killed?" asked a not too pleased Dee when Alice was out of earshot.
"I'm so sorry," I said to the boys. "But I know how to make it up."
"Really?"
"Yeah, another mission."
Dee and Dum didn't look too happy with the sound of that.
"Wait. I really, really, really thought carefully about this one. Please give me another chance?"
The boys exchanged glances then looked at me and nodded.
"One more chance," said Dum.
"But first a punishment game for failing us," said Dee with venom in his voice.
A cold shiver ran down my spine. I could sense the evil lurking within these boys. They were serious!
"Now we don't need that," I said while crying on the inside. "Just give me another chance, and I promise the next one will have good results."
"Of course we'll give you another chance, sister."
"But first the punishment game."
"Punishment games are no fun. Besides, we best hurry home."
Dee and Dum readied their axes which caused me to take a few steps back in fright.
"It's only the second mission. It's too early for payment," I said, still trying to persuade the boys to stop.
"Actually we think that payment is necessary," said Dee with an evil smile.
"An' we don't think it's fair that you should get away for the rock incident," added Dum.
"It was an accident!"
I suddenly froze.
Dee and Dum continued to smile.
"Y-you know…?"
The boys nodded.
"H-how?"
"Let's just say a role holder was nice enough to tell us," answered Dum.
"A role holder…?"
It couldn't be…
"Boris?
"Huh? What about Boris?" asked Dum as he and Dee raised their axes.
I spun around and took off running for dear life.
Aaand cut! Sooo Dee and Dum find out about the rock incident on the first mission. What's going to happen to poor Alex?