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Standard disclaimer : I do not own Bleach.

Turning right, turning left

Chapter 3 : Tomorrow

It was my fault, wasn't it? I've ruined our fist date. I shouldn't have splashed the coke on your pants, shouldn't have embarrassed you by crying in the cinema, and shouldn't have fallen on top of you when you were trying to catch me on the ground. There are too many things I shouldn't have done. You probably won't ask me out again.

How I wish I could turn back time so that I can take the chance to fix things.

Honestly, I never thought that you would ask me out in the first place. It would be embarrassing to see each other again after I had told you how I feel about you. My worst fear is that you will avoid me in every way you can. But you didn't. I couldn't believe myself when you asked me out that day. Everything seemed so unreal for a moment. It was just too good to be true!

You made me so happy in a way that I couldn't describe. I mean you made my dream come true. It was my sweetest dream. I had a hard time to pick the right outfit that I will wear today, not that I have much to choose from. It is just that I want to leave you with a good impression on this very special date. It meant so much to me because you meant so much to me.

Maybe I should have stopped you when you suggested sneaking into our former high school. It seems like a bad idea. But I decided to trust you when you convinced me that it will be fine. I already noticed the change in you when we entered the school compound. You suddenly became very quiet and your eyes are scanning the surrounding silently like you were in search of something, but you didn't mention anything to me. I guess you didn't want to worry me.

The atmosphere was dense and I tried my best to crack some silly jokes to loosen your tension. I think it did work for a while and it brought some relief when I saw you started smiling again. But everything started falling apart when you suddenly ran out from the classroom before I can comprehend what happened. I could only hurry after you. You did not halt or glance back. The fear that I'm going to lose you grew in me when I lost sight of you round the corner. You were too fast for me. I couldn't keep up with your pace.

What is it that makes you run like that? A hollow? But I was too occupied to think at that moment anyway. When I finally found you at the field, the sight of you made me even more worry of you. You were just standing there, unmoving, eyes fixing to an unknown distance in front of you.

I couldn't see anything unusual around. So I approached you and stood in front of you instead to have a closer look on you. You didn't flinch and let alone aware of my existence. You were practically looking through me. I was standing right in front of you yet you didn't see me.

"Ichigo..." I called you softly as I tried not to startle you. It was a while before you spoke again.

"I'm sorry. Let's go home now." That's all you said to me.

On our way back to my house, both of us remained in silence while I tried my best to recall every detail. Oh God, I recognize that face of yours. You wore that same face after we returned from the Soul Society whenever you thought no one was looking. Kuchiki-san chose to stay. We all knew you had a hard time to accept it. So I tried to act in my usual manner, in hope to make you feel better.

Things started to unfold to me now. It was Kuchiki-san, wasn't it? You were hoping to see her again. I couldn't help but felt a dull pain in my chest. After all these years, you still longed to see her again. I have always been by your side these three years. Had these years mean nothing to you at all?

It is always for her. Your heart is so full that you have no room for me. She is the one who changed your world, not me. I knew it all along yet I have let myself hope – hope about things that will never be.

"Don't you want to ask me anything?" your question echoed in my head. If I ask, will you tell? No, you won't. Then I shall wait. Like the last time when you fought with captain Byakuya in Soul Society, I can only wait and hope that you will win and stay alive. I never regretted that I went to the Soul Society with you to save her. It is only then that I could finally fully understand how important Kuchiki-san is to you. My only regret is my own incompetence.

"It's not necessary. If you want to tell me, you will. I'll just wait until the day you are ready to tell."

I don't know how I managed to utter those words when I was overwhelmed by the urge to ask you about what happened, how I managed to hold myself together when everything inside me is shattering, how I managed to smile to you when I really felt like crying... I guess I care too much for you. You have enough burden of your own. The last thing I want is to be your burden.

Like I said it was only a dream. I forget that no one can stay in a dream forever. This dream that I allowed myself to dream will be awaken the minute when the alarm clock of reality rings. Those few steps to my doorway suddenly seemed like thousand miles ahead. It took all my strength to reach the door and shut it behind me.

You will never see me cry. I won't let you. One drop, two drops... I can almost hear my tears hitting the floor but I did not make any other noise. Everything seems so quiet tonight, so quiet that it seems like time had stop. I let myself swallowed by this silence and darkness surrounding me. When dawn comes, it will be time for me to wake up and open my eyes to see. I have been lingering in my dreams too long for my own good.

You too, Ichigo kun. You should go after her for your own happiness. It's never too late. Time heals everything, they say. I would like to believe that but not today, maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a different day.

Author's notes: I sort of pity Orihime but still I think it's pretty obvious that I favour the pairing of Ichigo x Rukia : p Sorry to all Orihime x Ichigo fans out there.

Coming up next : Renji! I think he's rather protective of Rukia. So expect more angst in it. Hope you'll enjoy reading.