Standard disclaimer : I do not own Bleach.
Turning right, turning left
Chapter 9 : Forgive
Kurosaki Ichigo.
Of all the people that could have been here, he was the last on my list. But here he is, just coming out from Kuchiki taichou's ward. Is this a sick joke or something? Fury burns fiercely like fire catches on fuel all over me. Without a second thought, I hobble towards him and swing my crutch at him with full force. He is stunt for a moment but recovers quickly enough to dodge it.
"What is that for?" he retort.
"For coming back now, you son of bitch!"
What a great timing he has to come back now when Rukia is most vulnerable. She had been struggling so hard, perhaps too hard for her own good to put up a strong and stoic front and move on. Just when I watch her wound slowly heals as she regains her tranquil life, he's back to sabotage everything. All her struggles and effort will be meaningless and worthless.
We are about to brawl when Urahara casually steps in between us and immobilize our moves. "That's enough, both of you. You don't want to awake Kuchiki san, do you?"
"Hold back your words, Renji. I don't care how you call me but keep my mom out of it." that human brat growls at me.
Like hell I'm going to hold back my words!
I don't want to know what is his business here with former captain Urahara, but if he ever dares to get near Rukia again, I'll crush him to ashes.
"Don't ever let me see you again. And don't you ever approach Rukia," I clench my fist tightly and glare at him before I continue to head towards Kuchiki taichou's ward.
"Is this the best you can do? To threaten?" he taunts.
That brat really doesn't know when to stop. I can still whip his ass.
"I said enough is enough. We are not here to fight." Urahara raises his voice to interrupt again. With that he drags that brat away and leaves my sight.
That brat is lucky this time.
When I enter Kuchiki taichou's ward, Rukia seems to have slightly awaken. "Renji?" Her sleepy eyes squint at me as she raises her head from where it rested. Her face looks extremely pale and weary. Did she overhear anything?
"Why was it so noisy outside just now?" she mumbles as she rubs the back of neck and lean back against the chair. No, she doesn't know he was here.
"Nothing. Just some clumsy idiot bumps right into me," I answer her perfunctorily. She doesn't need to know he was here, at least not now.
"You should take care of yourself first, Rukia. This is not going to help if you fall sick too." I pour some water into a glass.
"No, let me..." she tries to get up and help.
"Arg... just sit there. I'm almost done. Here..." I held out the glass of water to her.
"Thanks." she smiles faintly and takes it from me. There is always a certain charm in her smile that is simply irresistible. I can't help but to smile back.
"How is your wound? I'm sorry I didn't visit you yesterday."
"No, the apology is mine. Kuchiki taichou won't be lying here if not because me... I was slow." I turn my face away as I recall that hideous incident yesterday as we fought the Arankaru.
A mass number of Arankaru had attacked us and we were soon out-numbered. The energy balls strike again and again. What makes things worse is that they can even wield zanpakutou. Many of the lesser seats barely withstood their attack. I fought back to back with Kuchiki taichou deflecting the energy balls the best we could and we even release Ban-kai. But they were too many. It was a loosing fight.
In the mist of battle, a damn Arankaru managed to deflect my attention and snap at my right leg, which slowed down my moves inevitably. That was all it needed to shoot its energy ball right at me. Its beam blinded my eyes and I thought I wouldn't live to see another day.
Everything happened in a flash. The next thing I remembered was blood splattered on my face and I realized a second later it wasn't mine. Kuchiki taichou had stood before me and took the blow himself. Time seemed to freeze for a brief moment before I saw him pitched forward and crashed to the ground. The other divisions arrived to our rescue at last. But it was too late.
"It wasn't your fault. These things happened." Her voice pulls me back to reality instantly.
I hadn't expected this from her, for her to console me in return. Doesn't she hate me? Why doesn't she punch me or something? I swore I won't dodge or flinch even if she does. Her kindness makes me feel guiltier than ever.
"Yes, it was MY fault. I failed him." I pound my fist against the wall.
"Stop it, Renji. He's alive. I don't think nii-sama saved you to see you like this."
Her wise words put me back into perspective and remind me once more that she's no longer the same girl I grew up with anymore. She had matured and grown wiser, more than I ever realize.
"I couldn't forgive myself." I drop my crutch and kneel before her. But she catches my arms and stops me from kneeling.
"There was nothing to forgive, idiot."
Then she bends down and picks up my clutch for me graciously. I look up and see no grudge but forgiveness in her dark, violet eyes. Those eyes are telling me to forgive myself. But I don't deserve such mercy.
"There's one more thing - I lied to you. That boy, Kurosaki Ichigo was here just now." I shut my eyes and wait for her to slap me or some sort of response. But she didn't. The shattering sound of the glass as it hit the floor already did it for her.
Some people are never meant to be forgiven.
Author's notes : Renji finally tell Rukia the news. How will she deal with it?
Believe it or not, I actually wrote two versions for this chapter, only a slight change at the end of the chapter. One is Rukia already knows before Renji tells her that Ichigo was there, another one is Rukia doesn't know until Renji tells her.
I had a really hard time to make up my mind. It crossed my mind maybe I should upload both versions and let you decide which one you prefer. Maybe I was out of my mind. But I didn't. I've chosen this version. Hope you'll like it.