Standard disclaimer : I do not own Bleach.

Turning right, turning left

Chapter 11 : Resolution

There were a series of long, boring meetings among the captains and vice captain of Gotei 13 awaiting me after I requested to stay to hunt down those Arankaru. I didn't pay much attention to whatever they said in the meeting most of the time. Why do they always have to hold meetings? If they absolutely have to do it, can't they at least make it as brief and as efficient as possible?

"Kurosaki Ichigo, did you listen to what I said just now?" asks Captain Yamamoto with a stern and husky voice.

"No, sir." I stand up and answer bluntly. "I apologize for that if it displeases you. But I thought I'm here for only one and only purpose – to hunt down those creatures. I can't understand why we have to sit here while we could have gone out to track them down instead." All the heads are turn and fix their gaze on me. But I can't care less. I have spoken what I wanted to.

"Hn, you're rather an honest man." His beard wiggles and his long white brows knit together creating more wrinkle to his already wrinkled and ancient face as he speaks. "Very well, if you wish so much to get into action, you can join the Covert Ops tomorrow at dawn."

"Hai," I bow slightly. So this old man is not that bad after all.

"Is there any other questions?"

"No." I don't really know much about the Covert Ops but I guess I can always ask Urahara about it later. I only want this meeting to end as fast as possible.

"Then all is dismissed."

This is not the first time it happens. I seem to be caught in my thoughts often these days. Sometimes I'm so lost in my thoughts that I will suddenly lost track of where I should be heading or what should I do at the moment. It feels like something nibbles away my memory and leaves a sudden void in my mind.

So you have come all the way to Soul Society for her. What's next? Ask her to give up her life here and leave with you?

She has family and friends here. Asking her to abandon everyone and everything here just to be with you, how selfish can you be?

Besides, you are just a human. What can you offer her? A life which aging and death are inevitable? Do you wish that she endure such life with you?

What if she won't be happy if she stays with you?

Then what? You stay here and let Kon take over your earthy body?

What about Karin, Yuzu, dad, Inoue, Chad, Ishida, Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro...

These swarming questions in my head are driving me crazy. I begin to force myself out of it by engaging myself in massive work out. This is the reason why I haven't visit Byakuya again. Who am I kidding? I mean I haven't visit Rukia again. I know she is always there by his side, doing everything that any doting siblings would have done under the same circumstances. But I can't see her unless I had figured all that out.

Che... to come this far only to chicken out. A voice mocks at me. It is none other than the hollow side of me talking to me in my head.

Shut up, easy for you to say. It isn't you who is going to live it. I retort.

Hee...hee... fine with me. You're the master after all.

It talks to me more and more frequent these days. Sometimes I practically have to yell in my head to shut him up. I'm not sure whether it is common to hear another voice in our mind. But what the hack! People talk or even ague with their inner selves all the time. The only difference between sanity and insanity is that people who are insane tends to speak their mind out loudly.

A new resolution begins to form in my mind. I will not see her again unless I avenge her brother successfully. I can't see her empty-handedly. No, I won't see her empty-handedly. If those guys made her cry, I'll make them pay.

With that, I turn away from the path that head to 4th division and prepare myself with some serious work out for tomorrow's mission.

The sky is already darkened in hue as the day drawing to its end when I finally slump to the ground and panting for breath. I grab Zangetsu instantly when I hear approaching footsteps. But I relax a little when I recognize the reaitsu. I need not even to turn to know who I will find behind me.

"How did you find me?"

"Che... how difficult can it be? Even a blind can find you with your reiatsu scurrying everywhere like maniac."

My nose twitches as I sniff a foul alcoholic smell in the air that makes my stomach flip. That tattoo freak is drowning himself with sake. He's still as annoying as before. But a drunken man's babble can be excused. I wonder what is it that he wants now.

"Don't go tomorrow," he suddenly blurts out. "For Rukia's sake."

I sit up abruptly and stare at him, dumb-founded. He continues to drink from his sake bottle and ignores me as if he hasn't spoken those words. Before I recover from the shock, he already gets up on his feet and limps away in unsteady footsteps.

For the very first time, I begin to see past his bizarre tattoo and loud facade of him and see the real man in him instead. Maybe Rukia needs a man like him more than a boy like me. But because of him, I can leave tomorrow without any reservations, knowing fully well that he will take care of her if anything happens to me

Don't ever leave her side, Abarai Renji. Because she will need you to be there when I'm gone. For that, I owe you my debt.

"Hey, kid. Wear this." A man who seems to be the captain of the Covert Ops unit hand me a mask. I hardly recognize who is who because they all look identical with the masks on their faces. But this one seems to be different from the rest. Strength emits from his tanned and well-toned body. And the way he speaks demands authority and filled with confidence.

I couldn't explain why but it simply makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy to wear a mask. It reminds me of the times when the hollow side of me emerged and covered my face with the skull mask. But as much as I detest the idea, I obey to his words and wear the mask given to me.

Nice mask you got there... I hear its voice again. Its "compliment" sends shivers down my spine.

Shut up!

It's always the same old thing. Can you come up with something more original? It teases.

Go to hell! You like it? I finally lose my temper and I almost yell it out. For once, I feel rather fortunate to have the mask on because no one will notice my twisted features in anger.

Yeah... love it. It laughs with a hideous voice. I wanted to shun my ears to its voice.

"Let's move it. We're heading South, where they last appeared." Much to my relief, the captain's voice snaps my mind back to reality and breaks me off from its voice instantly.

With that, we head off and advance to the South, to the unknown fate awaiting us there.

Author's notes :

The struggles in Ichigo are the hardest part to write because it'll serve to justify why he didn't meet Rukia before he left.

And I rather enjoy writing the dialogues between Ichigo and his inner hollow self. It seems like his inner hollow has better sense of humour than him. : )

About the Covert Ops, I only know them as a special army unit, something similiar to Anbu in Naruto. They appear only once in the manga and I remember they wore mask. So correct me if I get the wrong idea about them.

chibi-nin-Adara :

Umm... I ain't going to spoil it by telling you which pairing I decide : ) Hee... hee... I can be evil at times. -

Thanks for reviewing for another fanfic that I wrote. It's my very first fanfic I attempted. Therefore it meant a lot to me that someone actually enjoys it.

rukiaprincess :

Your review never fails to put a smile on my face : )

Clazziquai :

I'm sure many other bleach fans out there like RenRuki pairing. But I'm glad you enjoy this story as it is. : )

Ruukii :

That's what I'd like to show – the changes in Rukia gradually. I'm happy that you notice it. : )

YL :

Oh I see... : ) Umm... I think your question is already answered in this chapter.