Chapter Thirteen

Jim POV

I lay on the roof, the cool breeze blowing across my heated flesh. I don't know how I got here or why but I know it's only temporary. As much as I enjoy the relaxation of Iowa's night breeze and the stars, the way that everything seemed to be perfect in this very moment, I know it couldn't last.

I can smell the scent of Mom's caramel slice baking, her laughter pouring from the open window with it as she watches some old comedy show.

I couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy and for once I was glad.

"Jimmy, you come down soon okay, George will be here soon and you need to wash up!" She yells, exasperated, causing me to laugh.

Shaking my head I lean back against the roof once again, making a mental note to get it fixed and sigh happily.

"Jim?" Spock's voice catches my attention; it's odd, like it was carried with the wind. With a look around I can't see the body that came with the voice, shrugging, I lay back down and close my eyes, frowning as warmth begins to fill me.

My eyes shoot open the instant the light blares through my closed lids to see that what once was a starry night sky was now bright daylight.

"Jim." This time the voice is stronger, my eyes snapping to his instantly as he stands three feet away on the edge of the roof.

"Jesus Spock! Come closer, away from the edge! You could fall and get hurt or die and Bones will kill me for being on the roof and I'll hate me for you being hurt for coming up here to get my ass for dinner." I blurt out, causing him to frown and look around.

"Jim, I cannot be hurt here unless you will it." He speaks, making me frown in return.

"What?" I ask, as he sighs and moves closer.

"Jim, what's the last thing you remember?" He asks me seriously. My frown deepens before flashes of the barn surround me; the words Spock informed me of swirling around with it along with the sensation of rage before... nothing.

"Where are we then?" I ask, causing him to open his mouth and shut it with a click, a very human thing to do and something I have never seen Spock do, let alone blush as he was currently doing.

"You were unresponsive to light telepathy so I melded with you. I apologize for using such an invading technique but I could not lose you, not again." He informs me, fear swirling around us that I know was his with a sense of longing, affection.

"Spock, you didn't lose me, you, Uhura and Bones saved me. Plus, I'm not gone now, I'm still here; I'm okay." I joke, giving him a smile, only faltering as I see the same look on his face of that of the day in engineering.

"Jim you are not okay, you collapsed in the barn and had no response to light telepathy. You collapsed Jim and were unresponsive, I thought I lost you." He stresses, all signs of his usual Vulcan self gone.

I hear the words but I don't know if they are real or if they are just a figment of my imagination. I was sure that he wouldn't care for me beyond that of a friendship and sometimes then I wondered.

"You do not believe me." He continues, I knew it was a statement, and not a question.

Suddenly I'm standing in a large yard on Vulcan, how I know it's Vulcan I do not know but I do. The red rock, the blasting heat, that seems not to affect me but it's the woman gardening in the corner that I know from the one image I had seen of Spock's mother.

Then suddenly I'm seeing myself through Spock's eyes from Nero's incident, my words and their effect. Followed by events of the missions afterward, always centered on me.

Then it's the thoughts of when he was in a volcano, my voice echoing across the line. I see him arch back, accepting that he was to die.

I'm sorry Jim…

Pain and shock, surprised shock with relief as I rush into the room, asking if he was okay. I knew that instant, I remembered the look on his face and the image, the soft cloud of my memory sided with his, giving him my view and emotions.

I brought up the memory of the report before us, shoving away that memory and showing him the emotions of betrayal and suffocating grief as I read that I was demoted.

"I'm sorry Jim." He whispers and I shake my head before looking up as confusion flooded me when he brought up the memory of me telling him the news.

I'm sorry Jim…

"Do you understand why I went back for you?" I saw the hurt in my eyes that I didn't know I portrayed, but I could hear and feel all he did in that moment. Shock, confusion, guilt…

Because I am your friend… because you care…

"The truth is… I'm gonna miss you…"

Say something, Spock. It is required, but does he mean that? Could he indeed care for me like I do for him?

I'm sorry Jim… that thought near broke me as I watched me walk away, angry.

He fast forwards through the memories enough for me to catch them, but not long enough to soak them in. Jealousy as Carol flirted with me and sat between us, his fury over trusting Khan, worry and fear as I jumped from the space hatch, his fear as he saw me in the hands of Khan, Scotty's voice over the coms after I knew when I fixed the warp core.

There are no such things as miracles…Jim...

Please, I beg of thee who can hear to not let this be true. It was I who should make that risk, not him, please let it be wrong. Please, let him be somewhere else on this ship than in engineering.

All I could hear was the sound of Spock's racing heart pumping in my ears as fear clenched in my chest as I watched through Spock's eyes of his running to engineering and then I was staring at myself dying in the warp core tube.

My chest heaved at the emotions of grief and realization.

No!

"Do you know why I went back for you?"

Yes… "Because I am your friend."

I watched as I died from Spock's view, collapsed to my knees as I felt the grief, the rippling of pain in my heart and head from something unknown and could not explain as Khan's name spewed from both his and my lips as rage so powerful made my world, my mind, tilt…

"Do you know what I am trying to say, Jim?" Spock asks as the emotion was ripped away and replaced with warmth, we were once again back on my roof but this time a part of Vulcan was mixed in.

"It seems no matter how… that I've come to realize, that many have seen but… I can't lose you again… You are my friend, brother, lover… My T'hy'la." He begins to explain.

I stared, a smile pulling on my lips as his words flew from his mouth in a jumble, but his meaning was clear. It also brought clarity to my own thoughts. I knew what that meaning meant and there were no words to describe how happy I was. Reaching forward I grasped his hand in mine before running my two fingers over his, sending him my love in return.

There was no need for words.

Author Note: This is it Folks! There will be a sequel later on so don't worry! But mwahahaha ultimate cliffy yes? I hope you enjoyed!

DON'T KILL ME!