DISCLAIMER: Don't own. If I did Ulquihime would be canon. Not that it already isn't. Yes. Well. The disclaimer. I don't own. Don't sue.

Title: In which Ulquiorra learns about forced violation.

Prompt: Kabe-don

Rating: A mild T, just for the mentions of few suggestive themes.

Warnings: The usual.

For those of you that do not know what Kabe-don is,"kabe-don" means pinning someone (usually female) up against a wall so that they cannot escape, when a, typically male, character wants to converse intimately with the object of his affection. The term comes from the word for wall ("kabe") and the sound made when you hit a hard object ("don").

The library was as peaceful as usual. Orihime loved the quiet serenity of the place and the musty smell of books. Though not a particularly intellectual being, it was one of her favourite places. She was rarely disturbed there, which was why it was a surprise when her daily dose of guilty pleasure was interrupted.

"Oh! Ulquiorra-kun!"

He gave her a blank stare and turned to her reading material. She blushed furiously and made to hide it from his view. It was too late, however. She could see that gleam in his eyes.

That gleam never boded well for her.

"What was that male doing to that female?"

Oh God, he was so loud. What would people think? She placed a finger over her lips and gave him a pleading look.

"What was he doing, woman, that warrants your blushing?"

She blushed more. He could be so dense sometimes. "Shh, Ulquiorra-kun! People will get the wrong idea!"

"They'll get the wrong idea if they see you looking at pictures of males forcibly violating females."

She couldn't help the horrified gasp that followed. "Ulquiorra-kun!"

"Why are you blushing woman?"

"T-T-T This is not about v-v-violation!" She could barely form the words without cringing. How could he be so impassive? "This is a shoujo manga!"

"Shoujo manga?"

"Yes! It's a type of graphic novel for girls! Don't make me sound like a pervert reading a... reading a H manga or something."

He noticed the change in her tone. "H manga?"

"Shh! Ulquiorra-kun!"

He frowned at the ground - even more so than usual - and looked up at her.

"Alright. If this novel is aimed at girls, I presume they like what is being published."

Orihime nodded vigorously.

"So this boy. He is forcibly invading her private space. Even though the girl is telling him not to."

She shook her head, sending strands of orange that escaped from her hairpins, flying.

"It's not force, Ulquiorra-kun! It's supposed to be romantic!"

Ulquiorra frowned, looking puzzled. "In what way, woman?"

She frowned as well. Ulquiorra had a way of making even the most basic things complicated. Now how was she supposed to explain a well known romance trope to him in a way he could understand?

A light bulb went over her head. She perked up and then immediately drooped. How could she explain?

"Umm. It's.. like he's taking charge or something. Like he's showing her he's sort of all man and..." She trailed off making vague gestures with her hands.

Ulquiorra looked even more puzzled.

"He's displaying his masculinity."

Orihime nodded. How like him to put into words what she couldn't explain to herself.

"To attract the female."

More nodding.

"So this is a mating ritual."

Nodding and then-

"No! Oh God, Ulquiorra-kun, I told you not to watch those nature shows on Discovery Channel! It's just... his way of... expressing himself."

"Of exerting dominance over a weaker being."

Oh God. He was never going to understand.

"No," she began patiently, "this is more like... he can... umm.. you... I.. uh! He just doesn't want her to run away or something!"

"So that he can forcibly violate her." His tone was flat.

"God! There is no forcible violation!"

He nodded thoughtfully.

"Hmm. It seems you like this."

"I d-dont!"

"Hmm."

"Don't look at me like that!"

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And other news. I've three actually. First being, we crossed a hundred hits! Yay! *throws confetti* Second and more importantly, this is the month of LOVE people, lurrrvee. So I'd like you guys to give me a prompt. Anything will do and I'll write a prompt based on which one inspires me. Third and last, I've written the next drabble already, and I've the idea for two AU one shots as well. One is based on Cinderella and the other Love, Actually [the movie] Which one do you want to see first? Tell me! With that, this long ass other note comes to an end. Bye and don't forget to reply!