Lucy
A week had elapsed since Nathaniel plunged me into cold water to bring me back to my senses. It worked. I went through it all: anger, regret, shame, and now I was trying to restore my fractured ego. I think Wolf would have won a very high place of honor in the Painful Breakups Hall of Fame. Sell your ex-girlfriend to the highest bidder, then shoot her in the leg with a crossbow. What a great guy. My hand reached back and felt for the scar. Maybe I would have Anders cut the scar out and re-heal the skin. It wasn't vanity; I wanted to erase the memory.
Varel and Garevel had rounded up the list of people involved in the conspiracy and there were quite a few cells in Howe's dungeon filled with them. I'd have to figure out what to do with them. I sat down with the other Wardens and Varel and we brainstormed.
"You do have the right of high justice, Commander," Varel informed me. "A quick trial and then you can hang them all if you like."
I sighed and wished myself back in bed. "That isn't justice by my book. It's retribution."
Justice - speak of the spook - looked at me. "What is unjust in it? They would have killed you if they could have. Surely death is a fitting penalty?"
"Oh Justice, Justice, Justice… you're a rather primitive embodiment of said attribute, aren't you? On my world…"
Nathaniel rolled his eyes and Oghren mumbled something.
I cleared my throat and continued. "On my world, judges are supposed to be impartial. In my case, I should recuse myself from the trial. I could be a plaintiff and tell my side of the events, but I'm too close to the issue to be the judge."
Justice looked intrigued. "But what if the other side should lie about the events?"
"One has to present evidence and eye-witnesses. We've got plenty of both. The only thing we don't have is an impartial judge and a jury."
"What about sending the lot of them to Denerim to be judged by the king and queen?" Varel suggested.
"Who happen to be my close friends…" I sighed deeply. "No, I don't really see a good way around it. I think I will have to be the judge."
We scheduled a court date for a couple of weeks. I had Varel inform the prisoners and ensured they were well taken care of. They would be allowed to call witnesses of their own at the trial. I gave them the resources to work on their defenses.
~o~o~o~
Howe was at me every day to spar and train. The first few days were terrible. I think Marigold could have pinned me with one paw. I started doing some weight training with the big urns that milk and cream was delivered in. I did push-ups and tried to do a pull-up but couldn't. Holy schleets! I'd lost a lot of muscle in my week of self-induced coma. Fortunately I was young and Grey Wardens are rather talented at healing and regenerating. By the end of the week I was doing much better.
Anders and I finally made the time to work together on cross-training one another in magic. He learned everything I knew about creating magical orbs. His eyes would glow as he considered the possibilities. I was a little afraid I might be encouraging his ideas of fomenting a mage rebellion. I didn't think it was a bad thing, the mages needed to be free, but I didn't want Anders to risk himself.
That brought me to an uncomfortable thought; working with Anders right now was particularly difficult. I felt a desperate need for a friend, a confidant, someone I could spill my heart to. Ever since that night we'd spent together, chaste as it was - in deed, if not in thought - I hadn't seen him with any of the women who sought out his company. Any time they came around they seemed to depart quickly with unhappy expressions. Whenever our eyes met, I could see a question in his. The dream we had shared, that I had denied, haunted him.
I hadn't forgotten it either but I had learned my lesson with Wolf. I wasn't going to let my hormones override my judgment again. Not that I had any sexual inclinations at the moment; my recent experiences seemed to have shut off the happy juice. But I so desperately wanted a friend, a pal, a buddy I could trust… I wanted Anders to be that person for me, but I couldn't do it to him; it might encourage his feelings, so I kept him at an arm's length.
He began to train me in some of the finer points of healing and I taught him some of the forbidden apostate magics I'd learned from Morrigan. He was delighted with shape-changing and was working on learning the crow form. Of all the forms I'd learned, crow had been the most useful. I was amazed at how quickly he picked things up. Of course, he'd been studying magic all his life. It was second-nature to him. I had to work much harder.
We spent a few hours a day in the courtyard outside the keep healing anyone who needed it. He did that whenever we were at the keep anyway, but now he insisted I try to diagnose problems. Broken things, bones and wounds, were easy for me, but curing something like a venereal disease or common cold was beyond me. Due to my status as a closeted mage, I had to be very careful about using healing magic openly. Detecting diseases could be done without any obvious signs of magic use, so that's the skill we worked on together.
Nathaniel
Iveta, Daniel's nurse, took the week off to visit family and Lucy spent much of the week minding the child herself. There were plenty of servants around when she was too busy, but she seemed loathe to be parted from him so she toted the boy in a sling-like contraption strapped to her front. He'd seen some of the peasant women do similar things, but the babies were usually on their backs. Daniel loved it. He liked seeing all the activity and being bounced around with his mother's movements.
Lucy was trying to eat her dinner, but the baby was grabbing at her food, her hair, sometimes squishing food into her hair and on her clothes. She wasn't getting much into her mouth. Nathaniel took pity on her. He had finished his dinner and was just drinking ale now. "Want me to take Daniel while you finish eating, Commander?" he offered. She needed to get her strength back. Her training had been progressing painfully slowly due to her weakness.
She looked up at him and smiled. "Sure! Daniel makes eating a challenge at times." She unslung him off her front and handed the baby and sling to Nathaniel.
"Let's get you out of there, my lad." Nathaniel pulled him out of the sling and sat him on his lap so the baby was facing him. Daniel stared at him, fascinated by his hair, his face, by everything. Then he burped noisily. "Get it out." Nathaniel said, smiling at the babe.
Daniel gurgled happily and waved his little arms around. His blue eyes latched onto Nathaniel's and he smiled when the Warden made a silly face. Then his hands clutched at the wind braids and pulled. "Ouch, Daniel. Nate likes his hair where it is: Attached to his head." He pried the tiny fists off his braids and tucked them behind his ears, getting them out of the way.
One of the serving girls came out of the kitchen and saw Nathaniel with the child and she stood watching them. Lucy turned to look at the servant girl watching Nathaniel.
"Men with babies are chick magnets, you know." Lucy winked at him and took another large bite of stew.
He looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Chick magnets? Please explain."
"They draw women to them. It's… you know… sexy." She tilted her head toward the serving girl. "See? Mary Ann thinks you're hot."
He looked over at the serving girl and she smiled at him.
"She'd totally do you," Lucy whispered.
Nathaniel wasn't sure what Lucy was trying to say. It was one of those cases where he thought further clarification might lead to embarrassment so he refrained from asking. "What color do you think Daniel's eyes will be?" he asked, deftly changing the subject.
"Ah, good question. It's possible they might stay blue, but Riordan's eyes were green. I hope he gets Riordan's eyes. I'm not sure what traits the Cousland's have. I think Fergus has dark eyes like mine, but I never paid much attention since he's usually yelling at me."
Nathaniel snorted, amused by her assessment of Fergus. "He was always a bit of twit. Quite sulky that Elissa was the heir. I'm surprised he doesn't worship at your feet for getting rid of that problem for him."
Lucy looked up from her meal in surprise. "So, you didn't care for the Cousland siblings?"
Nathaniel shrugged. "I only met them a few times before my father sent me to the Free Marches to squire. I found them to be pretentious. Father wanted to marry Thomas to Elissa, but she really hated him. Fergus and Delilah never hit it off either." He chuckled when Daniel swung a fist and hit him in the chin. "Ow!" He feigned pain and fear. "You've got a powerful punch, Daniel."
Lucy chuckled and nodded. "I got the notion she might be that way from reading her diary."
Nathaniel wondered how differently things would have gone if Lucy hadn't been stuck in Elissa's body and it was Elissa in charge of the keep. Somehow he doubted Elissa would have spared his life. "I'm not altogether unhappy with the witch's meddling," he admitted.
Lucy flashed a smile at him while chewing.
"Lessor of two evils, I suppose." Nathaniel smirked at Daniel.
Lucy swallowed. "You flay me with your compliments." She turned back to her meal but watched Nathaniel out of the corner of her eye. "You are good with children. Do you ever want to settle down and have a family?"
He played with the babe and thought about the question. "I did. I thought someday I'd be running a bannorn of my own, if not my father's arling, and I'd do all the expected things. But the worm has turned, hasn't it?"
"Maybe not as far as you think, Nate," she said thoughtfully. "We both know I'm not cut out for this. I'd like to over some of my duties to you. Perhaps in time, I will turn over running the arling to you, entirely. However, there are democratic reforms I'm keen to…"
He looked up at her, startled. "Are you saying you want me to be your second?"
She wiped her mouth off and set down the napkin. "Yes. That shouldn't be so surprising, you've actually got experience with this sort of thing, unlike the rest of us."
"You're not just doing this so you can go back to bed, are you?" He was truly surprised by her offer, and not a little suspicious.
She frowned at him. "No. Well, truthfully, I may leave the Wardens someday, although please keep that to yourself, and I'd like to know there's someone capable in charge."
He still eyed her suspiciously. "So, you'll listen to my opinions, even if you don't like them? You'll let me challenge your authority and keep you on your toes?"
She nodded. "Yes, of course, but let's display cohesion in public."
"Of course," he said. He wasn't an idiot. He'd been trained not to openly question superior officers unless invited to, and then only in private. "I do reserve the right to dump you into cold water any time you decide to retreat from your responsibilities again."
She sloshed the dregs of her wine around in her cup and snorted. "All right, I'll grant you that responsibility." She stared at the cup for a few moments, looking like she was carefully picking over her words. "I suppose I should thank you for that. I guess I have a lot to thank you for, actually. Saving my life when Wolf…" She stopped speaking abruptly and glared at her cup.
The pain she experienced when she thought back to the incident was obvious. It was ridiculous that she was thanking him, he thought. A vision of her standing in between him and Fergus flashed through his mind, followed by one of the day she released him from the dungeon and faced down everyone who said he should be executed. Nathaniel almost liked her for a moment.
"I'd say the score is pretty even." He bounced Daniel on his knee a few times and the baby responded with a gurgling laugh. "Ready for your son?" If anything could cheer her up, it was this affable baby.
She looked over at her son. "Always." She held out her arms and took him. Her face relaxed and she smiled at her son. "You like Nate-y, don't you? He's not nearly as grumpy as he looks, is he?"
Nathaniel chuckled. "If you'll excuse me." He stood up and walked over to speak to Mary Ann, who had found some tasks in the dining hall to occupy her. Perhaps Lucy was right; the worm hadn't gone too far off course.
Anders
To be so close to her and yet unable to say anything, was going to drive him mad. She had withdrawn. She no longer confided in him or had that easy, friendly manner with him, and he felt its loss keenly. He had been so certain the time was right to speak to her, confront her about their feelings for each other, but Wolf had ruined everything with his betrayal.
Anders felt cheated by fate. He sent a lightning bolt into the fireplace in his room in a rare display of temper. "By the Maker's hairy ass, Marigold! I only wish he were alive so I could melt his face off."
Marigold, not a fan of lightning bolts, hid under the bed.
"Oh kitty, I'm sorry." He calmed himself so he wouldn't scare the kitten. He got down on his hands and knees and peered under the bed. "Come on out, sweetheart. I won't do loud, bang-bang magics anymore. Come on, you-you, come to daddy." He shot a line of sparkles out of his finger and the kitten immediately dashed for them, trying to catch them before they winked out. He snatched her up and held her close to his chest.
Anders settled into a chair with the kitten, "Navigating the Fade", and a glass of brandy. He absentmindedly made sparkles for the kitten while reading. Chapter ten was an absorbing chapter on how to find someone in the Fade. He had met other mages in the Fade, but entirely by accident, and only when they went purposefully to the Fade, not through dreaming. This book suggested that one could find dreamers. Certainly he and Lucy had met up while dreaming, and in their dream they'd become aware of each other, so he knew it could be done – but it seemed a happy accident; to do it purposefully was another matter.
He reviewed the steps again and finished drinking the brandy. "Time to go to the Fade, Marigold." He placed the kitten in the soft bed that he'd had made for her, one she refused to use. She happily bounded out of it and jumped on his bed instead. Ah well, the kitten could watch over him while he navigated about the Fade. He swallowed a large dose of lyrium and felt his magic swell and surge. He laid down on the bed and put himself into the trance-like state that would allow him to enter the Fade.
~o~o~o~
The Fade was ready for him, it seemed. A desire demon was waiting. It was a terrible impersonation of Lucy. She was wearing a skimpy garment, like smallclothes made out of chainmail, and simpering at him.
"Ugh! You're not even close. Really, did you flunk out of Demoning 101? You're terrible! Just awful," he said, his lip curling in disgust.
The demon gave up her impersonation and changed back to her normal form. "Oh behold the brilliant mage! All kneel before the Maker's chosen one," she said sarcastically.
Anders raised his hand and began to cast a spell at her but she snapped her fingers and was gone. "Amateur!" he yelled after her. He cast a spell anyway. This one unspooled a golden thread of magic which he followed. It would lead him through the dreams of the humans around him, to the one he sought.
The dreams of others were pale shadows. Every now and then a demon cavorted through a dreamer's world and messed with them, but mostly they were ghostly shades that spoke in tinny voices. Luprous Grayson had described it well. When he reached Lucy's dreamscape the shades grew more corporeal, thanks to Grayson's spell. He paused for a moment on the edge of a forbidding tableau. Ahead of him the sky was blood red and he recognized Denerim from that one escape attempt where he'd nearly made it onto a ship before he was recaptured. He took a step into the dream and was suddenly transported to the top of a tower… Fort Drakon? Yes, it must be. Lucy stood on top of the fort looking frightened and lost. Tears were rolling down her face.
"Not this time. Not this time," she chanted. "Please, not this time." She stared up at the sky.
Anders looked up to see what she was seeing and the archdemon came into view. He wondered if this was how it had really happened, or if Lucy's mind was changing the events. There was a small figure on the back of the archdemon as he wheeled around a building, trying to dislodge the man on his back. He saw a flash of metal as the figure dug a blade into the dragon.
"No!" Lucy screamed. "Be careful, Danny!"
Alarm surged through Anders. This was how her husband died, wasn't it? She didn't need to relive this, not right now. He ran up to her. "Lucy! It isn't real, it's just dream."
She didn't seem to see or hear him. Grayson had warned that dreamers were hard to communicate with, but sometimes magic could penetrate through a dream. Anders touched her, casting a spell of calming magic on her. The archdemon faded from the sky and Lucy drew a gasping breath and let it out tremulously.
Then they were falling from a great height. Lucy was screaming as they plummeted to the earth. He reached out and touched her with magic again and the dream shifted: Darkspawn flowed like a river of corruption through an underground place. The archdemon flew through the massive chamber and Lucy watched, trembling. Suddenly she sneezed and the archdemon's eyes sought them out in their dark hiding spot. Again, Anders grasped Lucy and sent calming magic into her.
The disorienting shift happened again and he was on the roof of another tower, not Fort Drakon. There was a handsome young man with her, dressed in plate armor. They were battling an ogre and it fell before them, dead and bleeding.
"Finally! Something to feel good about. Good job, Lucy." Anders congratulated her, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. This must have been the first ogre she ever killed.
Lucy rushed over to a fire pit and lit a fire, muttering: "We're too late, Alistair! We must be too late." She watched the fire take hold and then a beacon, bouncing from reflecting mirrors, lit up the dark sky. She stood up and turned a worried expression toward the warrior. Then she wheeled around and stared as a dozen darkspawn ran into the chamber and the air was filled with arrows.
"Andraste's ass!" Anders swore. An arrow went right through him and into Lucy's arm, then another into her chest. He grasped her shoulder and pumped more magic into her again, trying to wrench her free from yet another terrifying dream.
The surroundings shifted again and he was inside a large building. A young blonde woman was walking quickly down a hallway that seemed endless. Her face was painted with anxiety. "Crap! I have a test I haven't studied for," she muttered and began to run. He ran after her, knowing it was Lucy in her other life. Suddenly a bell rang and doors opened and people spilled out of the classrooms. They froze, turning to stare at the young woman… she was now naked.
"Ahhh!" She screamed and clutched an armload of books to her chest and began to run.
Anders shook his head; she was having another anxiety dream. He wasn't surprised. Recent events hadn't been kind to her. He chased after her. She ducked into a broom closet and he followed her. Not surprisingly, she didn't notice him. He put a hand against her forehead and cast the same calming magic. This time he used more, enough to calm the pounding of her heart, which he could sense even through the Fade.
The landscape shifted again and she was walking through a meadow not far from the Vigil. She was alone this time. He ran to catch up with her.
"Lucy?"
Not responding, she sat down in the meadow and began to pick wild flowers, gently plucking them and gathering them in her hand. Then the plucking became less gentle and she began to rip them out of the meadow and tear them to pieces. Her expression changed to frustration and anger.
"Lucy?" Anders kept his tone calm. He put a hand on her arm and sent just a tiny amount of healing magic into her. She looked up and finally noticed him. Her hands were stained with the green blood of murdered wild flowers.
"Anders." She looked at her hands and wiped them on her white dress, leaving behind green stains. "Ugh, that'll never come out." She looked very agitated by the act of staining her dress, as if it were something of deep significance and repugnance.
He sat down next to her and took her hand in his own. "Relax, Lucy. I promise the stain will come out." He put his arm around her and tugged her so she was leaning against him. "Look at the clouds." He pointed at them. "That one looks like a…" he started to say, then he realized what it looked like and was embarrassed to say.
"A cock," she said, laughing. "A big, giant, fluffy, white cock."
He put a hand on her head and sent a swirl of gray and green magic into her. It was very relaxing stuff. She turned her head to look at him. "Thanks." She turned back to look at the sky again and pointed at another cloud. "That one looks like a Chinese crested dog."
Strangely enough, whatever she said the cloud looked like, it would reform and reshape itself into what she said. Perhaps it was a good thing for her to feel she had control over something, no matter how trivial. They spent the rest of her dream pointing at clouds and saying what they looked like, watching them transform, until the sun finally faded from the sky. She fell asleep in his lap, finally relaxed enough to pass into a calmer, quieter stage of sleep, without dreams.
Her timing was good, he was running low on mana and the lyrium had worn off. He kissed her on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, Lucy."
He woke up in his room, on his bed, with Marigold nestled against his neck. He must have spent hours in the Fade with her, chasing her from one dream to the next. Unfortunately, it wasn't sleep for him and he would pay the price in the morning. He undressed and settled into bed, hoping Lucy's dreams would be more peaceful the rest of the night.
~o~o~o~
The next day Lucy seemed calmer, less sad, and she seemed more open and friendly to him. If she recalled anything from the Fade she didn't indicate it.
He yawned and rubbed his eyes as they worked together on healing people in the courtyard. He was exhausted from his night.
"You look tired, Anders," she said as they worked. "You should have some of the Antivan coffee I bought."
He smiled ruefully. "That stuff tastes nasty."
She nodded. "At first, but it grows on you. Put some cream in it, that mellows it out."
He shook his head. "No need, I'll just keep rejuvenating myself." He cocked his head at her. "How are you sleeping?"
She pursed her lips. "Well, I had a lot of nightmares at first, after what happened with Wolf and the templars, but last night I had a pretty good night's sleep." Her eyes went a little unfocused and she stared off into the distance. "I think I dreamt about clouds." She shook her head as if clearing it of images. "Silly thing to dream about."
Anders cast a rejuvenation spell on himself and his sleepiness left. "Nothing silly about clouds. Better than darkspawn, I should think!"
She nodded vigorously. "Much. I hope to never dream about the archdemon ever again. He was in my dreams every night during the Blight."
Anders noted that she didn't remember her dream about the archdemon and her husband and was glad for that. How many times had she seen him fall in her sleep? If he could give her a respite from that, he would.
~o~o~o~
Every night he did the same thing: Sought her out in the Fade and helped her evade the bad dreams that seemed to always be waiting for her. Every day she seemed much improved, more upbeat, and less sad. Each night her dreams were easier, less anxious and traumatic. Sometimes he saw glimpses of her world through her dreams. There was the time when she was just a child and fell on some moving stairs, skinning her knees. She screamed in terror, convinced she would be sucked into the stairs and torn to ribbons. He was there to grasp her hand and heal her knees.
It wasn't all terror. Some were glorious dreams of flying, or running as a horse across a spring meadow. One time he found her entwined between two men, both kissing and touching her, and each other. He watched in fascination, wondering if this was memory or fantasy… or both. He figured one was her Antivan assassin lover, the other was her Grey Warden husband. Interesting. He was dying to ask her about it the next day, but then she'd know he had been following her in her dreams.
Finally, one night he found himself in her dream. That was awkward. Did she really find him that goofy? No wonder he wasn't getting anywhere with her. She was playing lightning bolt tag with him, his double, in a grassy meadow. He decided to join in the game and see what happened. He grasped her arm and sent a tiny lightning bolt into her. The magic made her see him.
"You're it, Lucy," he said as dream-Anders stood and stared at him.
"Hey wait, no fair, there are two of you!" She put her hands on her hips and pouted.
Real-Anders backed up and shrugged, ready to run if she came for him. "Get rid of that other me, he's just an illusion."
"Get rid of him? But he is you." She looked between them in confusion. Dream-Anders took advantage of her distraction and crept up behind her and zapped her with a lightning bolt.
"Ow!" she shrieked and turned, ready to zap him, but he grabbed her and sank his fingers into her waist, tickling her. She screamed in laughter and struggled to get away. "Stop, stop, stop! Tickling is not in the rules!"
Anders watched in alarm as the struggling pair sank to the ground, his dream-twin tickling her and pulling her closer, moving in for the kill. He knew what was coming.
"No!" He ran over and pulled himself off her, just before he kissed her. He punched himself in the mouth, well, his dream-self. "Fraud! Get off her." His dream-self wiped a trail of blood away and prepared to cast a spell.
"Anders..ses!" She looked between the two, her brow creasing with confusion. "Behave yourselves."
"Yes, Commander," the dream-Anders said. He picked up her hand and kissed it. "Anything you wish."
"You complete, and utter prat," Anders growled at his dream-self. "Get lost."
Lucy looked between the pair of Anders as if trying to decide which one was real. Suddenly the dream version disappeared. "All right, then." She sat back down on the grass and smoothed out her dress and patted the ground next to her. "Now, where were we?"
He grinned and sat down next to her. "I believe I was about to kiss you."
"Kiss me? You were tickling me." She took his hand and placed it on her waist. "Right here." She took his other hand and placed it on the other side of her. "And there, too." Her eyes danced as he leaned over her. "I was laughing helplessly, because I'm very ticklish." She lay back on the grass and smiled invitingly. Her dark eyes locked with his and the impish quirk on her full lips seemed to pull him down.
I owe you, Luprous Grayson, Anders thought as he slowly descended on Lucy's welcoming lips. Then conscious thought went away as her soft, warm lips met his. Well, all conscious thought except the decision to channel a soft Fineger's bolt through his lips. The result would be a warm, sensuous tingling that would run through her nerves from head to toe. It worked, of course. She breathed a soft moan into his lips and her arms locked onto his back, pulling him onto her. He could feel her warm body next to his, her slim waist under his hands, her breasts pressing against his chest… it was all threatening to overwhelm him with impatience, but he wanted this to be perfect.
Something fluttered just out of his view and he turned his eyes without breaking the kiss. There were ghostly shades flittering about. Damn it all! One was Wolf, or the man he assumed was him, holding a crossbow, pointing it at them. Then there was that obnoxiously handsome elf and the dark-haired man. Wait… is that Bendrick way in the back?
"Lucy." He broke away from the kiss. "Just me, darling. I'm here with you now." He stroked the side of her neck with tiny bolts and she gasped. The ghostly images dissolved.
"Yes. Oh Maker, Anders," she moaned and pressed her mouth to his again.
The kiss went on and on, tongue stroking tongue, teeth nibbling lips, hands grabbing hair, the sort of a kiss that sends Fineger's bolts through the body without any magic whatsoever. He reached for the buttons on the front of her dress and began to pop them open when she broke away. "Do you hear that?"
He heard a pounding sound and thought it was something in Lucy's dream. "Ignore it, love." He pressed his lips against hers again but this time his lips contacted the grassy meadow. She was gone! Something must have awoken her. Perhaps the pounding sound had been real. Next the grassy meadow disappeared and he was in some portion of the Fade.
"Andraste's tits!"he swore. Just his luck! He exited the Fade and opened his eyes to find Marigold staring at his bedroom door. There were sounds of running feet and shouts.
"Darkspawn attack!" Nathaniel shouted and pounded on his door.
The Wardens assembled in the main hall and were shortly chasing off into the night after an attack on a farm. Anders's head was pounding, from lack of sleep and the frustrating interruption to his wooing of Lucy. The only consolation was that that Lucy probably felt much the same way, awoken so rudely from an erotic dream. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and noticed she looked at him a few times, looking somewhat befuddled.
After they chased down and killed a large group of darkspawn, they returned to the keep and fell into their beds just before dawn.
Anders dragged himself out of bed around midday, when Harrison came for a check-up. Harrison's skull had healed over the wound, thanks to Anders's healings, but Anders was doing a few last checks to make sure no complications had arisen.
"Maker, Anders, you look terrible," Harrison commented as he seated himself in a chair, moving a book out of the way. He glanced at the title of the book and flipped it over to see what chapter Anders was reading.
Anders snatched the book away and shelved it. Bloody nosy templar. Anders knew he looked pretty bad, so he rejuvenated himself. The spell was starting to have less effect than it should. "Late night chasing darkspawn." Anders answer was short and sounded, even to him, slightly peevish.
"You've been smelling of lyrium every day I come up here, and every day it seems like you're even more exhausted than the day before. What are you up to?" Harrison squinted at Anders as though he could read the answer in the mage's face if he just tried hard enough.
Anders chuckled and smirked at the templar. "I don't have to answer to you, templar. That must really rankle. If you miss bullying mages, I'm sure the Circle will be happy to have you back."
Harrison frowned at Anders. "I'm asking as a friend, not a templar. You need to take care of yourself. A fatigued mage is an easy target for demonic possession."
Anders shook his head. "First off, you're a templar, not a friend, and secondly, what you know about demons would fit inside a thimble."
Harrison didn't say anything but looked concerned. "That book…"
"Is no bloody business of yours," Anders snapped.
The templar's concerned expression remained, and he pursued the matter doggedly. "'Navigating the Fade'. Interesting reading. That chapter you're reading in particular, 'Finding a Dreamer in the Fade'. Is that what you're spending your nights doing?"
Anders growled at the templar. "I said it was none of your business and I meant it. Now, would you shut up and let me look at your head?"
Harrison kept quiet while Anders sent magic into his head again, for a while. "All right. What you do is your own business, but I'm concerned about you. You do know what happened to Luprous Grayson, don't you?"
"No, but I have a feeling I'm about to find out," he grumbled.
"He went to the Fade and never came back, Anders. Eventually his body died." The concerned look on Harrison's face deepened. "Just… be careful."
Anders rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I think you all make this garbage up. Why would someone stay in the Fade?"
"The dream world can be a very powerful draw to people who don't have much to look forward to in their real lives. Even your commander…"
"Leave her out of it," Anders snapped.
Harrison cut off abruptly and looked at Anders, his eyebrows rising as if in understanding. "It's her, isn't it? What are you doing, Anders?"
Throwing up his hands, Anders stalked off to his cabinet full of herbs. "All right, we're done here. You're fit to travel back to the Circle and go back to persecuting mages."
"Anders…" Harrison got up and moved toward the mage.
Anders wheeled around and glared at the templar. "Sod off! I've had enough lecturing."
Harrison sighed heavily and walked out of his room, pausing at the door. "Anders, I don't have anything against mages, you know that."
He shoved the door shut in the templar's face and felt a pang of regret. Harrison was okay, if a bit sanctimonious. The templar had timed his meddling badly. Anders didn't have the patience to deal with it just then. His fatigue was getting the better of him.
He turned from the door and heard a knock. "Leave me the fuck alone!" he shouted. Stupid templar didn't know when to quit.
"Anders… You might want to rephrase that," he heard Lucy's voice say through the door.
"Oh Maker, great," he muttered to Marigold. "Brilliant. Bloody, fucking brilliant of me." He went to the door and opened it, a sheepish expression on his face. "Sorry, Commander, I thought you were Harrison."
She cocked her head at him and frowned. "I would probably be dead if it weren't for Harrison, you know."
"He's a templar, Lucy. You've had a taste of them now."
Lucy walked into his room and shut the door. "I have, and three out of the five I've had dealings with recently were complete asses. However, they're not all that way. Harrison certainly isn't and Alistair isn't either."
Anders sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "All right. I confess Harrison seems to defy my expectations, from time to time."
Lucy nodded and sat on the chair Harrison had been sitting on earlier. "I'd hate to be judged by the mages who make a bad name for mages, you know? I mean, look at the reputation that the Antivan Crows have, and yet I fell in love with one who defied predictions and turned out to be a nice guy. Nice, but dangerous." She smiled. "Well, not dangerous to me."
Oh great, why do I have to fall for an assassin's woman?
"Anders, you look like absolute hell… er, I mean you look like something the cat dragged in, from the void or something. Are you all right?"
She stood up and walked over to him, put a hand on his forehead, and used her budding magical diagnostic skills to see if anything physical was wrong. Anders felt a moment of pride seeing his student put her skills to work on him. She searched him, looking for something wrong, then shrugged and took her hand off. "I can't tell. I suck at this."
He smiled at her. "You don't suck at it, you just need more training. This can take years to learn, you know. But the reason you can't sense anything is because there's nothing wrong with me."
"Well, you're exhausted. That doesn't take magic to see. Go back to bed after I leave. Last night was a long night, and that's the reason I'm here right now." She settled back down in the chair.
"Oh? Grey Warden-y stuff then?"
She nodded. "The darkspawn attacks are getting worse. They attacked three farms last night and were headed to a fourth when we killed them. I've been putting it off until we got to the bottom of this conspiracy, but we're going to have to go check out that chasm the hunters found."
"Oh right, the chasm. I had nearly forgotten about it. Do you think that's where the darkspawn are coming from?"
She nodded slowly. "Possibly. I'm afraid it might lead to the Deep Roads and Maker only knows what… We've got to go there, and soon. Please, catch up on your sleep and start collecting whatever herbs you need. Hopefully it's just a small bit of Deep Roads, but my luck isn't that good."
"When do we leave?" he asked.
"I should get these trials over with first, but I don't think we can wait." She bit her lip and paused a moment. "Three days." A sad look stole over her face.
Anders guessed she was thinking about how hard it would be to leave Danny. "Are you sure you're up to this now?" It was only two weeks ago since she refused to get out of bed.
Lucy nodded. "I have to be." She stood up and straightened her shoulders resolutely. "Maybe the answer to these weird talking darkspawn is down there."
Anders nodded. "What do you make of this Architect fellow?"
Lucy sighed. "I don't know. He's definitely not like any other darkspawn I've seen. His notes we found in the silverite mine and what he said… it almost makes me think he didn't intend to kill those Grey Wardens, he wanted their blood for something."
"That right there is seven kinds of creepy," Anders said.
"Oh agreed, but he seemed… call me crazy, but he seemed like he was trying to figure things out. Like there was a puzzle he was trying to solve. I didn't get the overwhelming urge to kill him, like I normally do with darkspawn. I wanted to sit down and talk to him awhile and figure out what he was up to. You know?"
Anders looked at Lucy questioningly. "You're kidding, right?"
She shook her head. "I'm not." She laughed. "Okay, perhaps I am crazy."
Anders shook his head. "No, you're not." His eyes softened as he remembered her dream from last night.
Lucy looked away and then back at him, plainly uncomfortable about something. "There's another matter I wanted to discuss with you."
Heart lurching involuntarily, he met her gaze. He didn't dare get his hopes up, but…
"I want to ask Harrison to join us." She looked at him warily, like she was waiting for an explosion.
"You what?" Anders stood up quickly, his disbelief plainly written on his face. "You want the full Circle experience here at the Vigil?"
"Yeah, I was afraid that would be your reaction. Look Anders, Harrison really is a nice guy and I don't think he can go back to the Chantry. He stood up to his brothers, and they're dead now. He's spoken to me of what he's seen at the Circle and it tears him apart. I owe him my life. I owe you too, of course, but if Harrison hadn't been there, I'm sure I would have died. Perhaps you would have, too."
Anders growled. "He's a templar, Lucy. No matter how nice he is he's always going to be nattering at us for something."
Lucy shrugged. "He's a trained fighter and he will be great to have around to deal with darkspawn mages. We need him. I can put up with some nattering in return for laying some hurt on emissaries."
Anders rubbed at his forehead. Maker's breath. He… well, all right, he… lahhhh…la…luh… uhved… loved – internally he flinched at the word, but he had acknowledged it at last – this woman, but he hated this decision. Still, he knew there was nothing he could do about it. "Have you asked him?"
Lucy shook her head. "Not yet, I wanted to talk to you first. There's always the possibility he might say no."
"One can always hope," Anders said.
"Snark is so unbecoming." She sighed and got up. "Get some sleep, Anders. Start getting ready to leave. If you need help gathering herbs or making potions, let me know. I'll assign someone to assist you."
He watched her get up and go to the door. She turned and met his eyes briefly before leaving. There was a hint of something in her expression. Some question unasked, some need unmet; one he wanted to draw from her, but couldn't, at least not in the waking world. Events had widened the gap between them. When she could trust herself again, perhaps she would be more receptive to him.
Anders was nothing if not tenacious. Seven escape attempts proved he wasn't a quitter and he certainly wouldn't quit now. Not if he had to swear off sleeping for months.
"Seven times, Lucy," he muttered at the closed door. "I'm not giving up."
Harrison
"Sod tradition," Lucy said to Nathaniel. "You didn't have to kill darkspawn before your Joining either. Just say the words, I'll do the little ritual thingy and give him the potion."
Nathaniel growled something under his breath in return.
Harrison hated hearing the hushed argument between the two Wardens, his soon-to-be Commander and her second, but there was no escaping it. It had been something of a surprise when she'd come to see him that very afternoon and asked him if he wanted to be a Grey Warden. He had been dreading returning to the tower and answering questions about his fellow templars and why they hadn't returned. He suspected if he returned they'd ask questions about the Warden-Commander and he knew he couldn't lie. They'd find out she was a mage and eventually they would know he had stood against his brothers. He might end up in Aeonar, or hung, if they blamed him for their deaths.
The Grey Wardens were legendary and there were many templars who had joined their ranks. There would be no shame in joining them. His loyalties would be to the Wardens first, the Chantry second, and he explained that to the Warden-Commander. She was wise in seeing that it was a good thing to have a templar around. Even though she had grown up an apostate mage, probably trained by other apostates, she saw the wisdom of having a templar in their midst. She must understand the ever-present danger of demonic possession.
He hoped that he could win Anders's trust someday, but he got along just fine with Nathaniel. The dwarf, Oghren, seemed like a good, sturdy sort, certainly someone you'd want fighting at your side. Lucy, er, the Warden-Commander, was a legend in her own right: She had found Andraste's sacred ashes and had killed the archdemon. There was something almost… otherworldly about her. There was such a tragic aura about her.
He sighed thinking over the stories he'd heard of her, a lovely, young, noble-woman whose family had been ruthlessly slaughtered before her eyes. She'd been inducted into the Grey Wardens, and then fought so hard to end the Blight, only to lose her husband in that final battle. That much of her story was known all over Ferelden and oft repeated in tales that seemed to grow. The part of her story that had happened since then was known only to a few and he felt privileged to know some of it.
She had lead the battle at Vigil's Keep while very pregnant and had given birth only minutes after defeating the darkspawn here. Then, he'd learned recently, there had been a plot to assassinate her and they were in the process of catching the conspirators when the whole mix-up with him and his brother templars had happened. Fortunately Anders had arrived to help sort out that mess.
Harrison had a very bad case of hero worship. To find out that the Warden-Commander was a mage had been a little confusing at first, but he remembered that some people - ones who are usually labeled heretics and had their books burned by the Chantry– thought Andraste might have been a mage. In the last few days, his image of Andraste had changed slightly when he prayed. She had curly red hair now, instead of blonde.
Lucy stirred something into the Joining potion and looked up at him. "Harrison, as I explained there are secrets the Wardens keep, and the exact nature of the Joining is one of them. There is some danger involved. If you want to back out, this is your last chance." Her face was very serious, but kind. "If you choose to go forward, you must keep this ceremony a secret."
Harrison nodded. "Of course, Warden-Commander. You will have my full, unquestioning loyalty."
Lucy nodded and her face brightened. "Good." She turned to Nathaniel and nodded.
Anders and Oghren moved to either side of him, slightly behind him.
"Since the first, these words have been spoken at the ceremony: Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day we shall join you." Nathaniel intoned, his voice very solemn.
She didn't take her eyes off the templar as she lifted a small knife and cut a gash across her palm. "Môže byť silne krv ochrániť. Ouch."
Harrison's eyes grew round. Blood magic? Was this why the Grey Wardens were so surrounded in secrecy?
Lucy let her blood drip into the chalice, which smelled faintly of cinnamon, and a haze of red-magic swirled around it a moment. She handed the fancy cup to Harrison. "Take a swallow of that."
His hands closed around the chalice and he stared into its depths a moment considering that he was about to participate in a blood magic ritual. Maker forgive me. He had given his word to her, he wouldn't back out now. He brought the chalice up to his lips and drank. Nothing happened at first, but then he began to feel dizzy.
"From this day forth, you are a Grey Warden, Harrison."
That was the last thing he heard the Commander say as his vision clouded and all he could see were the frightening shapes of darkspawn swarming over a desolate landscape.
~o~o~o~
Oghren and Anders caught the now ex-templar as he fell and settled him down gently on the floor. Anders, with a sour look on his face, put his hands on Harrison.
"He'll be fine."
Lucy let out a breath and looked visibly relieved.
Oghren chuckled. "Poor sod." He looked up at his commander with an amused expression. "When are you planning to tell him you're an abomination?"
~o~o NOTES o~o~o
My eternal gratitude to my beta-reader, Biff. And many, many thanks to all who review! I'm like a rat in a maze, your feedback keeps me pressing the bar hoping for a pellet. I get seriously excited to see a review in my inbox. Consider it a xmas present to me.
If it seems like an odd way to end the chapter, I just couldn't imagine a better place to stop than letting Oghren have the last word, especially after Harrison waxed on so rhapsodicaly about the Warden-Commander. Hee hee! Lucy has quite a pedestal to fall from.
I wish you all happy holidays! Speaking of which, I believe there's a drabble in "The Lost Chapters" I wrote while writing SCIKCC about Lucy bringing the holiday of Festivus to Amaranthine. It doesn't entirely fit any longer, but it is rather amusing. Go read it if you'd like a chuckle or two.