(Author's Note: OMG I love you people, thank you for your reviews! This episode is for Loki Is My BFF, as requested! :) Enjoy!)

Episode #3 – Disneyland

I know, I know. "Amelia, why in the world would you TRAVEL with LOKI? Traveling is hard enough by itself!" I thought that too. But someone invented this wonderful thing called sleeping pills. Loki was out like a light through the whole process. It was rather adorable. I mean he only woke up about twice, and he did freak out a lot, but in total, throughout the whole trip he managed to get through it with only five threats to others. I was proud.

I decided I would take Loki to Disneyland, America's favorite theme park. Loki had gotten a little stir crazy, being stuck in my little apartment for so long. He even started looking out the window and dropping my old shoes on people's heads below. He thought that was so funny. But in my opinion, everyone needs to visit Disneyland at least once in their lives, so I took Loki.

He didn't even wake up until I had already checked us into our hotel room. I had pushed him around in a wheelchair the whole time he was asleep, so that was the first thing he noticed. He looked around the room and then at me.

"What…where are we? Was I asleep?"

"Yep. I wanted to take you to Disneyland. So we're in Disneyland. The flight took all day, so I guess you were asleep all day. I gave you sleeping pills so you wouldn't be a problem at the airport." Loki widened his eyes at me.

"You drugged me in secret so you could carry me around with you like a dog?"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"I'm proud of you! You're learning Amelia. …I would say that was a proper decision. I might have cause a bit of mischief. It's just...the thing about mortals is that I hate them."

"You don't hate me," I said. "I'm a mortal."

"Yes, but…you're hot. You're the only mortal I don't hate." I laughed.

"You only like me 'cause I'm hot?" I said. Loki smiled and stood up.

"No, but that is my favorite reason." He kissed me. "Oh, and…what is 'Disneyland?'"

…

We only spent one day in Disneyland. That's all we could stay. Taking Loki places was difficult. The trouble started when he saw Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck walking around.

"What is that?" Loki asked, giving the characters a horrified look. He studied them. "Their arms and legs move, but their faces do not. I don't understand." He walked up to them and I followed.

"Loki be careful—" He poked Mickey in the eye and turned to me.

"It doesn't blink!" he said.

"They're actually guys in suits," I said. "They put on these faces for the kids." Loki looked even more confused.

"This is childhood entertainment? I have given up on this planet Amelia." I sighed and leaned on him.

"Let's go get ice cream." When he started to ask what ice cream was, I just raised my hand to silence him. He didn't like that. "Just wait until we get it," I said.

Loki liked ice cream. I ordered him chocolate and I got Butterfinger. I taught him how to eat it by licking it, but he didn't seem to understand that idea.

"Why must you lick it? Can't you bite it?"

"It would hurt."

"Why?" Loki took a bite anyway. "Oh it's COLD!" His mouth and the rest of him slowly started to turn blue, and his eyes turned red. I took his ice cream.

"Oh, I forgot about the Frost Giant thing…" I said. "You might—"

"—Frighten people?" Loki said with a sad look I could tell he was trying to hide. I put my hands on his face.

"No," I said. "You're perfect. Let's go on a ride." Loki smiled and returned to his normal color.

We decided to go on the California Screamin' Roller Coaster, since Loki had never been on one. It looked the most fun. We stepped in line behind a couple of kids that looked to be about ten. They turned around and looked at Loki. One of them had short red hair and was taller than all the others.

"Why is your hair so long?" the redheaded kid asked. Loki looked down at him.

"Because I like it long," he replied.

"Well it's stupid," said the kid. I could see the anger in Loki's face and grabbed his arm in warning.

"You're stupid," Loki replied. "Why is your hair so short?"

"It's cool. Your hair's not cool," the kid said, crossing his arms. Loki leaned down to the child and gave him a stern look.

"Well I have a smoking hot girlfriend that loves my hair. Where's your smoking hot girlfriend?" The kid scowled at Loki and kicked him in the crotch.

"Ow! FU—"

"—Haha!" I finished sarcastically. I did not want to be kicked out of Disneyland for Loki's cursing at a ten year old. "Good one kid, now turn around." He gave me a mean look and I put my hand on his shoulders and turned him around.

"Are you okay?" I asked Loki, who was knelt on the floor in pain. I helped him up, and the redheaded kid looked at him and snickered.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" Loki yelled to the child. The kid stuck his tongue out. Loki stuck his out back at the kid.

"Just ignore him Loki," I said. Loki crossed his arms and snorted. I tried to take his mind off of it. "Where'd you get your new Earthly terminology? Smoking hot girlfriend? I didn't think you knew that one." Loki smiled.

"I picked that one up from your…'television', if that's the proper Midgardian term," he said. I wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you Loki."

When Loki and I got to the front of the line, the redheaded kid's friends took a cart together and as fate would have it, Loki was forced to sit with the redheaded kid. I took the cart behind them with a fat lady that smelled like socks.

"Don't sit so close to me, weirdo," said the kid.

"There is not much room in here!" hissed Loki.

"Fatty!"

"I WILL DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH YOUR WEAK, PATHETIC HEART MORTAL, UNTIL THE BLOOD RUNS OUT INTO MY WORTHY HANDS!" Loki screamed, his anger boiling over. The lady next to me swung her purse at Loki and hit him on the side of the head.

"Don't you dare talk to my baby boy that way!" she scolded. Loki turned around.

"I am a god, you female whale, and I—" the lady gasped at Loki's insult and instantly took out some pepper spray from her purse. I tried to prevent it, but I failed and she sprayed Loki in the eyes. He screamed throughout the entire ride, but I don't think it was the rollercoaster.

When the ride was over, I got out of the cart and opened the door to Loki's. His eyes were red and bloodshot and there was a pool of yellow vomit in his lap. The redheaded boy was green in the face. I took Loki's hand and helped him up. He put his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Loki," I said. "Usually Disneyland is more fun. Do you want to go to Cinderella's castle?"

"Frankly Amelia, I just want to go home, take a bath, and go to bed. I have been whacked, sprayed, and vomited on…Midgard hates me."

"It'll get better," I said, feeling sorry for him. He just had terrible luck, but I guess Disneyland was just one of those places where you either have a great time, or something goes wrong and your day ends up being the worst ever.

On our way out, we ran into several princesses. Snow White, Rapunzel, and Ariel were all there at the exit. As soon as Loki saw them, he bowed and reached out his hand.

"Your majesties," he said. They blushed, thinking he was flirting. He kissed their hands and began asking them where their kingdoms were and who were the kings. They told him their Disney stories and I laughed to myself. Loki believed their stories to be true. He was so cute.

"Those princess maidens were fascinating," he said as we left. "Did you know the long haired one was locked up for eighteen years?"