(Author's Note: So sorry this took so long! I've got two stories going on right now, so bear with me! Let me know what you think! :))

Episode #5 – Football

"What is this place?" asked Loki, as we tried to find our seats in the football stadium.

"A stadium. Football is like, the American sport. Men love it. I think you'll like it too," I replied. I finally found our row and we squeezed past a few people and sat down. "You're supposed to watch down there," I told Loki. "It hasn't started yet, but I'll tell you when."

"Midgardians enjoy this…'football'?" Loki asked.

"Yep," I said. "We spend too much time and too much money on it, but people love it, so I figured you should get to experience it."

"Alright. Well thank you." I smiled at Loki and held his hand. I decided to explain the game to him while we waited.

"Okay, so there are two teams: one on the right, and one on the left. You can tell them apart by their different colored uniforms and the symbols on their helmets. There is one ball and the teams try to get it to the other team's goal, see? It's that big yellow thing that looks like a Y. Every time they do that they get like 7 points I think, and whoever has the most points at the end wins." Loki looked more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.

"I don't understand," he said. I pat him on the back.

"That's okay. Just watch and you'll get the hang of it." Loki sighed in frustration and looked around the floor at his feet. He picked up a peanut and ate it.

"Loki, don't eat that!" I said. He swallowed it.

"You can't pull that one Amelia! I've seen these, and know for a fact that it is food."

"No, I mean it's dirty. You don't know how long it's been there, or where it came from. It's not safe." Loki huffed.

"I don't like all the rules here. I can't wear my armor, I can't carry my scepter or daggers, I can't kill people whenever I feel like it, I can't take things without giving people green parchment, and I can't call people fat when they are obviously obese!"

"Shh, calm down," I said.

"Oh, and now I can't yell—"

"—No, look. The game is starting."

"Oh." Loki looked down to the field and the two teams were facing each other. The referee placed the football in between them and backed up. When he blew the whistle, the teams tackled each other, all scrambling for the ball.

"Ooh! You didn't tell me it was a battle!" Loki said excitedly. "Where are their weapons? They could kill more people with weapons. It will go awfully slow if they go about it in that way they are doing." I laughed, and instead of telling him that they weren't fighting, decided to let him enjoy it the way he wanted to. Loki got really excited when the guy with the ball ran across the field and got tackled to the ground by another guy.

There was a really fat man in the seat (or should I say seats) yelling really loud at the teams. It was obnoxious. I am polite, so I tolerated it, but Loki did not have that kind of tact for other beings. He put his hand on the man's shoulder and squeezed it.

"Ow!" the man said, turning around with an angry expression.

"For the love of Valhalla, SHUT UP!" Loki commanded.

"Whoa man, who do you think you are?!" said the man angrily. Loki turned up his nose in pride.

"I am Loki, of Asga—"

"—Yeah I don't care! Don't touch me!" the man raised the hot dog he was holding and smashed it into Loki's face, getting mustard all over him. Loki gritted his teeth, but before he could say anything else I sunk my fingernails into his arm.

"Ow, OW! Amelia!" he said, turning to me.

"Sorry, but you need to let it go," I said. "Maybe this is how you solve problems in Asgard, but it doesn't work that well here." Loki crossed his arms and sat back in his seat.

"It's a good thing I love you, because if I didn't, I wouldn't listen and I would stab him until his blood soaked my boots."

"Well thank you for your self control," I said.

"OOH!" Loki suddenly exclaimed, startling me quite a bit. I looked down at the field where he was focusing his attention and saw one player clutching his leg; injured. "Finally, some progress." I looked at Loki, who just smiled back at me. I just shook my head and watched the game. Occasionally I heard Loki mumble some things at the players. He was getting more into it than I, and that made me happy. I was glad he liked something.

"They aren't killing anyone! If I were engaging in this 'football', I would be the best. In fact, I might do just that," Loki said. I laughed, and continued watching the game. One guy got a touchdown; a really close one too. I tried to elbow Loki, but when my elbow didn't hit anything, I looked to my side to find Loki gone.

Well shoot.

A shot of panic ran through me as I thought of where the heck he could be. What if he was threatening someone? What if he said something and got arrested when I wasn't looking? I hated to say it, but that man needed human supervision. I looked around frantically for him until I looked down at the field to see a raven-haired man in a horned helmet and golden armor AMONGST THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS. Loki had gone down to the field.

I didn't know he was really going to intervene; I thought he was just saying that! I stood up and decided I had to go get him. I couldn't let whatever was going to happen happen. I slipped past people in the seats through the row and most of them gave me the death glare because they knew I was with Loki.

They closed in on Loki's face on the jumbo-tron , with a mischievous smile on his face.

"People," he said. "I will teach you the ways of proper battle!" I put my face in my hand. I loved him; but…he just needed to be a little less social right now. He raised his scepter and smiled, and I heard the announcers commenting as Loki stalked the field.

"This guy just ran onto the field in some kind of costume. Is the Renaissance Fair nearby? We don't know, but we're anxious to see what this guy is gonna do. The ref for the Rangers is pretty mad, but if I were him I wouldn't mess with this mysterious stranger. Oh, look he has a spear. That could be dangerous. Don't worry folks, we'll get back to the game in a moment."

I looked for a way to get on the field and concluded that the only way was through the back, so I raced to the back of the stadium to find the stairs. A chubby man who seriously needed to shave stopped me on my way out.

"Is that guy with you?" he asked.

"Um…yeah," I replied. He smiled and held up his hand for a high five.

"Right on." I high fived him to be polite and hurried on my way to the field. When I got down there, Loki was in a fighting stance and was about to attack one of the players. Adrenaline rushed through me.

"Loki, NO!" But he didn't listen to me. He lunged at one of the players and knocked him to the ground. Suddenly the two of them were surrounded by other team members and referees, trying to pry Loki off of the poor football player. I rushed onto the field, and when they finally managed to get Loki off the man…he wasn't in good shape. They had to take the poor guy out on a stretcher.

"Loki, what are you doing?!" I asked him. He looked over at me.

"I wanted to fight. They were doing it completely wrong."

"Loki they weren't fighting…" I said, my face in my hand again.

"What?" Suddenly the cops showed up and put Loki's hands behind him in handcuffs. "I order you to stop, mortal! Don't you know who I am?"

"Sure," said the officer.

"Wait, officer, please don't arrest him!" I said. "He doesn't know…"

"Is this man with you?" asked the officer.

"Yes."

"Is he mentally stable?"

"Well yes, he just isn't from here."

"I'm sorry ma'am, we have to take him in."

"Wait, how about he just does like, community service or something? Please? I promise it won't happen again; I am responsible for him." The officer sighed.

"Okay, well since I'm tired and just wanna go home and watch Dance Moms—don't judge me—I'll let him go. But he has to clean up after the game."

"Yes sir," I said. The officer un-handcuffed Loki and shoved him toward me. I quickly took his hand and we walked off the field.

"Loki, what were you thinking?" I said as we walked.

"You are angry? That is a shame; I thought we were having fun. I had a marvelous time." I couldn't help but smile. I decided to let it go; he didn't understand, and to try and make him would just cheapen his experience.

"You're right Loki," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. "We had a great time." He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Next time I'll teach them how to hit better," Loki said.

"You know, I think you'd really enjoy Boxing."

"Boxing? What is that?"

"It's where two guys punch each other until one bleeds and begs him to stop pretty much." Loki's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"REALLY? Oh we must see that! Amelia, I think I am getting used to Midgard."