Chapter 6 - Death breathing down my neck

She woke up early, like in previous days. She had survived Lockhart before, she could do it again.

Why couldn't she choose Potions over the nonsense babbling he called lessons? She groaned inwardly and took a quick shower. The sun was in its red - purple glory while she made her way about the Hogwarts grounds, stretching her arms, her tracksuit too thin for the morning chill. She started running, circling the Quidditch pitch.

It made her feel like home. She needed to train every day to keep fit and pass difficult Krav Maga exams. It also helped her with the anger.

The anger was her philosophy and motivation. It helped her with Aine Delorge, her past, her lack of talent. It kept her sane while she was on the edge, when the curse possessed every cell of her body, leaving her lying on the floor, crying with her throat raw and burning. The curse screamed for release, but she denied it, being angry every time she had shown weakness. It was being more frequent and more violent while she grew up.

Today was one of these days, and exhausting her body breathless hadn't helped.

She punched the rough wall until her fingers bled.

It still wanted more.

She bit the inside of her cheek until she drew blood.

It seemed to be enough.

For now.

She took a small vial of healing salve from her pocket and smeared it on the bruised flesh and returned to the castle. Her muscles would ache from running too long so it would be a good time to practice in Filch's room.

It was still an hour before everyone woke-up and two more for breakfast, so she decided to explore the castle for a while. Her wanderings led her to a the fifth floor and she turned left, into the first opened room. It was a large bathroom with a male lavatory. She turned the cold water on and splashed it on her sweat covered face. She looked around. The windows were covered with stained glass picturing various water life forms.

She took a few steps to examine them closer Just as she passed a large bathtub, something clicked under her feet. It seemed to be a grate, probably leading to a sewer. Carefully she lifted it up. There was a gaping, black hole underneath. She lifted one foot, then the other and found a tiny stone. She dropped it and listened carefully.

Not deep. She jumped down and found herself in a drainpipe, her head and shoulders above the hole she went it. She pulled the grate closed cover the entrance and drew her wand.

"Lumos," she whispered. The wand emitted a weak light then flickered and faded, leaving her in a dark, slimy drainpipe.

"Kurva," she swore.

A few meters ahead of her a weak, dark-green light filtered down from a different grate. She closed her eyes for a while, to adjust them to the darkness, lowered to her knees and bowed her head to go further. It was very quiet there; only the sounds of dripping water were keeping it from being completely silent.

Her way was full of twists and turns. Sometimes it leaded down, sometimes up. Finally she reached a larger space with a pool of black water in the middle of it. If her orientation was correct, she was directly above the Great Hall.

Maybe higher than one floor, maybe a little lower, but anyway near it.

She brushed her fingers against the wall. She could place a torch or two in the holes. In the corner she could set up the heat and in the biggest hole she could keep the most useful ingredients and a cauldron.

Perfect.

She tried to make her way back to the fifth floor, but got lost. She wasn't scared by any means, as she got out through the nearest hatch, careful to not gain any unwanted attention.

The third floor seemed abandoned. Weird.

She practically ran to the Slytherin dormitories to change her slime - covered clothes and wash herself.

She met no one in the hallways, but her luck wasn't long-lived. Pansy Parkinson was already awake, and when she saw Katia covered in filth from head to toes, her jaw dropped. It shut after awhile, genuine shock replaced by a nasty grin.

"Don't even speak to me!" hissed Katia, her hands balled into fists. But Pansy wasn't wise to keep her tongue behind her teeth when she should.

"Bathing in a cesspool where you belong?" she asked. Were it yesterday, perhaps Katia would have controlled herself, but not when the curse was showing its nasty head.

"I will kill you," she stated in a venomous tone.

Pansy stood no chance. In one, swift motion her fingers were curled in Parkinson's hair and she yanked her head down to her waist. Dragging her across the room and kicking the bathroom door open, she shoved the girl inside. Her grip was like steel and Pansy's eyes widened in fear when she saw where she was dragged to.

"Na hran s toboy!" shouted Katia, kicking the door of a nearby lavatory.

"No!" she tried to scream, but only a muffled squeak left her mouth before her head was shoved into the toilet.

Katia wasn't kind enough to choose the clean one. She stopped when the girl's struggles ceased.

She pulled her up, the girl's head covered in excrements. Pansy gasped for air like a fish, her body shaking uncontrollably.

"Tell anyone and the next time, I will hold a little longer, you pug-faced bitch," she breathed and left the bathroom.

She undressed, took a shower and sat on the bed covered in a bathrobe. Pansy was still in the bathroom, scrubbing herself like a madwoman.

Katia put fingers in her hair. It was bad. She could kill her and spend a long time in Azkaban.

She would never, ever take someone's life. With all her hatred towards Death Eaters she couldn't imagine herself killing them. Punishing them, watching them suffer, yes. But never kill. She would never forgive herself if she killed this stupid Parkinson girl. She was mean, stupid and ugly, but she was a living being. And Katia would never kill one.

She took Rasputin's biography and looked at his picture.

I wish I was like everyone else. With magic instead of a curse. Why did it have to be me? Please, tell me! Why me?

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She brushed the picture with her fingers, as if caressing Rasputin's jaw line.

Please help me. I want to learn how to control myself, how to control this. Give me strength. I believe in you.

She kissed the picture and then looked at it again.

"I put my faith in you," she whispered and wiped her eyes.

She left the book under her pillow dressed in her student's robes and went for breakfast.

There was a heated discussion about the upcoming Quidditch practice on Saturday. Draco asked her to watch him and she agreed. Using her time-turner, she would also spend this time in setting up her little potions lab. She must remember to bring some fresh clothes to change.

When the mail arrived, a small, tawny owl had a letter for her. She opened it carefully, but it was written in Cyrillic, Russian letters, so she unrolled it and read openly while eating her sandwich.

Dear Katia!

How could you vex me so? You promised that you won't let me down and then I hear on your first day you beat on your housemates. How could you do that to me? To us? You were supposed to associate with them, to acquire vital information and prepare yourself for being an Adept. How could you do this? You know how important it is for me what Albus Dumbledore thinks of you.

'And you don't know what I almost did.'

You are most important to me. Don't do anything foolish. I know you better than anyone.

Fight with you-know-what when the time comes.

'I try, father, but it grows within me.'

I love you.

W. I.

'I love you too.'

She crumpled the letter and put it in her pocket.

"You think that eggs also have eyes Katia?" asked Daphne, sitting at her right.

She smiled towards her. "They will if you let them."

Saturday came and Katia watched the unfriendly exchanges between Slytherins and Gryffindors. She had a hard time suppressing laugher when Redhead vomited with slugs when his hex backfired.

Quidditch wasn't fascinating by any means, but she was curious of relations between her fellow Slytherins and other Hogwarts students.

Setting up everything to begin her experiments in the drain pipes was an interesting part of her day. When she was finished, she used a small niche to hold two lit candles on either side of Rasputin's picture. She talked to him in her thoughts, hoping that he would give her strength to fight the curse.

She made her way back to the fifth floor. Going back and forth was becoming easier and easier. She paused when she thought she heard something.

It wasn't water or slime. That much she was sure. It sounded different somehow and she could swear the drainpipes vibrated, like a huge, slick stone was rolling inside. She became angry.

What kind of idiot discovered this place the same time she did?

She followed the noise for some time. It wasn't her imagination now. Something big was in the lower part of the sewer and obviously it was too big to push itself through the smaller pipes on the higher levels. There is no way that this thing would destroy her potions lab!

She made her way back to the space with the pool of black water, listening carefully to the noise. She walked as silently as she could, but filth squashed under her feet anyway. The noise became louder. It wasn't human by any means. She took the cauldron and put all the things in it frantically. She put the clothes first, to prevent the vials from shattering, then the picture and sacks with herbs. She dimmed the torches, putting them into the water and snuffed out the candles. The noise was closer now, maybe two or three forks from her position, blocking her way out in the bathroom on this level. She headed to the higher level, running. She wasn't as fast as she would be without the heavy cauldron. She slowed down more when the ceiling lowered, slouching.

The noise was so loud that she was sure it was right behind her now. She turned right, the wrong way and the ceiling was higher again. Left again and the ceiling lowered. She almost tripped over a large, dried snake's skin.

Katia didn't have time to think about what could leave this kind of skin. She spotted another dark tunnel, which was smaller than the one she was in, so she ran as fast as she could there. It didn't matter that her hair touched the slime on the walls while she turned around to see if the thing was behind her or not, or that she was covered in the stuff.

Finally, after maybe ten minutes in the smaller pipes she collapsed, the cauldron hitting the wall with a loud bang. She was exhausted, breathing heavily. Slime and sweat plastered her hair to her forehead and cheeks. Her fingers were bleeding from catching sharp edges of pipes while she was trying to regain her balance countless times. Her lungs burned as if there was lava inside them and her throat was dry. She was sure that the thing could hear her heart beating wildly inside her chest like a large hammer.

I must get up and run.

But she had no strength. The sound of a large body sliding in the pipes echoed all around her. She could smell its stench. She tried to get up, but her legs failed her. She leaned her head against Rasputin knows what and closed her eyes.

When she could move again, she took a small knife from the cauldron and a wand. She was sitting in a small stream of whatever it was, ready to defend herself. She wasn't sure if she had any chance to strike, but damn her if she didn't try.

The noise changed somehow. She leaned forward to hear better. It sounded like the large thing couldn't push itself through the smaller pipes. She was thinking furiously about the way she took. Looking at the size of the drainpipe and the time she run she could be on the fourth level. She encountered the thing somewhere between the first and second floor. She could stand there without lowering her head. Now she could walk only when she lowered herself onto her knees and bowed her head.

She waited for a while, listening. The thing seemed to have stopped trying, the noise sounding like it was moving downwards.

Katia stood up, still breathing heavily, and took a few careful steps towards the turn she passed while she was running. She walked for some time and was now in the place where the pipes were a little larger. She took a lighter from her pocket, but it was wet with slime.

"Kurva," she muttered and took her wand. "Lumos," she whispered.

The wand lit with a weak light and shook with her hand. There were strange patterns exactly were the pipe became smaller. Damned thing as sure as hell was trying but couldn't fit though.

She decided to find a space to work on the higher levels.

Taking the cauldron she went back, passed the hatch in the bathroom on the fifth floor and found herself in a spiral drain pipe. She was almost crawling here, but kept moving, dragging her things behind her. She went a little further and found a crossing. There was an opening above her and the pipes were bigger. It wasn't as good as her previous place, but it seemed to be safer. She left the cauldron in a small niche and went higher. She was already filthy as hell so it didn't matter if she crawled in the pipes a little longer. She saw the light at the end, so she followed it like a moth. She found a hatch, making it a bathroom. She looked up through the tiny holes when she heard someone's footsteps.

"I swear Ron, I've heard a voice."

"Maybe it was some of Gilderoy's tricks? You know, to scare you"

She saw a glimpse of unruly, dark hair. Harry Potter. So, he heard a voice that no one else did.

She waited for them to leave the bathroom and crawled to the fifth level. Changing her clothes was pointless.

She felt exhausted when she put the hatch in its right place. She turned the water on, and took a bath, washing her clothes in the process.

Running like at a mad dash she reached the small niche where she activated the Time-Turner the last time.

She went to Filch, practicing Graceful Movements in her mind, but the door was locked. She spotted a tiny piece of parchment near the doorframe, on the floor.

I'm supervising detention with one dunderhead. Come back later.

She knocked on the door a few times to be sure and when she was making her way back, something shattered inside of the room. She stopped.

The door opened and Filch poked his head out to see who disturbed him.

"You again. Come in, move."

He swayed from side to side. He was obviously drunk.

She entered inside and locked the door. Filch slumped into the armchair and poured himself another glass of golden liquid.

She leaned over the table, took the bottle, sniffled it and took a large sip. She shuddered at the burning taste.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing?" he asked, yanking the bottle out of her hand.

"I did something stupid today. And you know what? I did something stupid twice. Third time's the charm, right?"

He leaned his head against the back of his armchair and laughed. It was a drunk, throaty laugh which made her smile.

"You think that drinking will make you brave and adult?"

She shook her head, smiling a little strangely, but said nothing.

"I'll tell you something. It will lead you to be as weak and miserable as you see me now. You want to reach the bottom?" he snorted. "Oh, the hell with that. Do what you want or move your butt out of my room, but leave me alone, understand?"

Katia shrugged. "If you say so."

She dropped her drenched sweater near the fireplace, took off her shoes and socks.

Her body protested against more effort, but she forced it to obey, arching her back in impossible angles, twisting her limbs and walking on tip-toes. Her motions were fluid, changing from one to another with a measured grace. She swirled a few times, jumped and landed on her toes, than on her knees with too much force. Filch grimaced seeing it and hearing a loud thud.

"You did it wrong, girl! You want your knees to be like mine before you reach your thirties? Use balance while you land, Merlin! It hurts me to look!"

"Then don't look," she said with unshed tears of pain in her eyes. But the old Squib was right. If he saw it, then Delorge wouldn't be fooled.

She spent the next two hours on exercises and finally sat on the floor, leaning her back against the armchair.

She was sure that Filch was asleep, and the sudden movement behind made her almost jump. She turned her head to see that he had emptied almost two bottles of this whisky or whatever it was.

"Stubborn, aren't we?" he gestured towards the bottles. "You and I."

"I guess so." She tried to get up, but the weariness won. She brushed her messy hair with her fingers. Her clothes dried on her and she suspected that the ones near the fireplace were dry too.

"Want some help?" a hand came into her vision.

"Yeah," she grabbed it and slowly stood up. "It's time for me to go."

He walked her to the door, supporting his weight on every piece of furniture available.

"Good night, Mr. Filch, Mrs. Norris."

Katia stepped out of the shower, and leaned against the wall. She barely had the strength to wash herself and now she sat exhausted, biting her fingernails. She could swear she heard a faint sound of a massive body sliding somewhere in the drainpipes. It echoed in the bathroom, driving her insane. The mushroom soup she ate in the kitchens left a bitter taste in her mouth.

She stood up, supporting her weight on the wall and brushed her teeth.

Back in bed, she covered herself from head to toe, shivering in fever . Not good.

She struggled with the illness to perform her duties, attend to lessons and do her homework. She abandoned her workspace in the sewage and stopped her practice of Graceful Movements, coming to Filch only because she had chosen his company over her roommates. She used and overused her Time-Turner to sleep, sleep and get more sleep, but it was never enough.

Draco Malfoy doubled his efforts to be friendly towards her, and she must admit that even if he was pretending, she liked his jokes, their talks about school and families and his attitude.

He wanted everyone to see him as cruel, dominant and resolved, but Katia learned all her life how too look behind a façade. He was uncertain, cowardly and cocky. And was nothing near to the sadist his father was. She liked that he was funny and polite towards her. He was everything his family wanted him to be, but inside he was torn between their expectations and his own needs.

He would never tell her that, but she could see it in his gestures, tone of voice when he was telling her stories from his childhood and the most important, his eyes.

Katia listened to him, not judging him, and looked without the puppy eyes. He felt more relaxed in her presence, because she really paid attention to what he said and never asked uncomfortable questions. So unlike Pansy.

It made his task of befriending Ivanov easier, less unpleasant. But despite her violence, what a gray mouse she was. Too tall, too fat, with dark hair obscuring most of her face from view, too pale lips and ordinary blue eyes. During that day's Potions lesson she looked like hell.

Pale, with watery eyes, like she had been crying, red nose and lank, greasy hair. A perfect counterpart of his Godfather with that hair.

October came and soon Katia Ivanov's appearance wasn't an oddity when a cold epidemics spread in Hogwarts.

Katia put a vial with a sample of her potion on Snape's desk. He took it through the handkerchief and his face twisted with disgust.

"Miss Ivanov, step away from me."

Katia obeyed and sniffled her nose.

"You are a walking plague and I don't have a wish to share the same isolated room with you."

She looked at him disbelievingly, but before she could ask a question, he continued.

"To the Hospital Wing, immediately. Stay there as long as Madam Pomfrey orders you to."

Madam Pomfrey seemed to be nice woman, but something in her awakened Katia's attention. She spoke about her latest patient's situation too much. She was way too talkative to keep a secret in the girl's opinion.

Katia headed to a bed as she was waiting for her Pepper-up potion.

She looked curiously at the other students with smoking ears. Finally she also drank the substance but she couldn't feel any real difference.

The healer examined her, making complicated wand motions, and furrowed her brows.

"Oh dear. It seems that you have a lung infection, something which can't be cured by a simple potion."

"Is it bad?" asked Katia wearily. She had enough of all this noise. It just made her pounding headache worse.

"You need to stay in bed a few days."

"Can I go now?"

"Child I just said that you need to stay in bed. I don't want you to feel lonely and-"

Katia raised her hand to stop this babbling. "Just tell me, Madam, all right? Please, I am not a baby."

"You must have been ill for some time and the infection changed into pneumonia. You will stay in the isolation ward and no visitors." The healer said it in one breath.

It pained her somehow to tell it to the new girl who wasn't too social. She felt like she was taking from her any chance to be closer to the other students. She herself had never felt good being alone.

The girl looked like a porcelain doll with her dark, straight hair and pale face, shining with sweat.

Katia's lips curled into a weak smile.

"I think I can live with that, Madam."

"Come with me then, you need to take a warm bath and change your clothes."

But she felt lonely. Her only visitors except Madam Pomfrey were the House Elves, and their visits were short. Just pop in, put the tray on her bed, pop out, and after some time pop in, take a tray, get an order for the next meal and pop out again. It was dark there, the heavy rain bombarded outside the window, dark blue clouds hanging in the sky all day. She felt relieved that there was no storm.

Her imagination was overactive due to her loneliness, and all the hairs stood on her neck while she was using the lavatory in the night. She expected the monster to poke its head out from the toilet and take her away to the dark, slimy drainpipes.

A/N: Many thanks to my beta-reader who did wonderful job as always and everyone who enjoyed this story so far :)

Problematic words: Na hran s toboy – Katia swore very badly. It would better to leave it without translation :)

"Kurva" – "Fuck"