Meeting & Grilling The Humans.

Peter's POV

My power was kicking in again, something or rather someone was going to interrupt the Major's date but not date with Isabella. That cannot happen, both of them deserve happens and I am making it my personal mission to make sure nothing and nobody fucks that up. Esme, Carlisle and Irina are waiting for the rest of the immortal whore's 'family' to show up.

"CHAR!"

Charlotte appears before me quickly.

"What's up baby?"

An evil smirk comes to my lips.

"Oh no. What are you up to?"

"Fancy having a different kind of meal?"

Her eyes sparkle with glee.

By the time we arrived at the diner, colour contacts in place, it was to find that the Major and Isabella had sure enough had their 'none date' interrupted. Now being a vampire you can hear a lot of stuff. Like for instance, the town bike insulting one of the most respectable ladies I will ever have the pleasure of meeting. I feel my foxy mate tensing at the whiny bitch's voice. Before long she's growling, and I am soon joining her when this plastic made whore implies that Isabella and Jasper were being unfaithful to their 'partners'. Please. The all seeing pixie's been putting out all over the god damn world, wonder what the Major will do when he learns what I've discovered?

Better not think about that yet. He may not be a mind reader, but the boy's sharper than a Japanese sword.

"Can I eat that bitch tonight?"

Tempting. Very, very tempting.

"Sorry babe no can do. Besides the amount of plastic, drugs and STD that's in her system she'd taste horrible. Be sick for the rest of eternity."

"Good point. Well, we can't snack on them both...but we can torment them."

"Now you're talking."

Throwing my arm over her shoulders the two of us enter the diner, heading straight for our friends.

Walking towards Jasper and Isabella, just as her spectacular insulting question comes to an end. I decide it is time to announce our arrival.

"JASPER! MY MAN!"

I see both Jasper and Isabella looking ready to burst out laughing. The four intruders however...is that little shit eyeing my mate?

"Like hi. I'm like Jessica."

Seriously?

"I'm Charlotte and this is my husband Peter."

The annoyed scowl from both bimbos didn't go unnoticed. By either myself, Char, Jasper or Isabella. The little shit that has been eye fucking my mate stutters over his damn self.

"H...hi...I'm...er...M...Mike."

Don't kill him Peter. Don't kill him.

"Want to stop slobbering over my wife boy."

Mikey boy gulped. Isabella took charge of the increasingly tense atmosphere.

"Why don't you two join us."

Smiling evilly the two of sat down next to Isabella. If you four dicks think what you're doing is grilling, well think again. My brilliantly evil genius wife started the interrogation.

"So. What were you guys just talking about?"

As expected the four of them became squirmy. Only the Jazz man and Isabella knew that we'd already heard what had already been said, another words I could tell from Jasper's posture that he was desperately trying not to laugh.

"We were just saying how great it is that Bella is moving on from Edward."

That childish tune liar, liar pants on fire started playing in my mind. I'm rather proud of myself for the level of restraint I'm showing for not singing out loud. Of course my Char, once again showing why you should never try to out smart her, was quick on the draw.

"Really. Huh, that's interesting. Rumour around town is that you two are rather pissed that the ignorant prick Eddie ignored you both. Despite throwing your fake breasts in his face. Clearly I have been misinformed."

Char completed the whole thing with a not so innocent smile.

"Oh and not to mention the whole spreading rumours about my girl Bella here."

By this point slut 1 and slut 2 had become rather pale. Their survival instincts starting to go into overdrive.

"Awe Char, love you too sugar."

Now I have a problem. It's called the Private standing to attention if you catch my meaning. But if you don't, well fuck it that statement just turned me on. Going by the look in Jasper's eyes, I'm not the only one. Mikey boy clears his throat, yeah I know what road his mind is currently going down.

"Anyway...what did you think of the movie Bells?"

Bells? BELLS? I see Isabella tense a little, was that a subconscious thing? I know that she hates how Mikey boy can't seem to take the hint that she isn't interested.

"Yeah, funny."

Suddenly the waitress arrives with Isabella's food.

The waitress looks from myself to Jasper and back again.

"Can I get either of you boys anything?"

Isabella and Char both tensed. This time around Isabella's tensing was a lot more obvious, even the human eye could pick up on it. Jasper took control of the situation before our mates ripped the waitress to shreds.

"No thank you. I'm fine."

"Me too."

"That bitch doesn't leave I'm tearing out her fat ass for the pigs to feed on."

Only Jasper and I heard what Char said. My Char has a mean jealous streak in her, which works out well because so do I. As Isabella began to eat, the waitress left disappointed, I lean back in my chair and promptly glare at Mikey. Whose watching Isabella eat. Isn't that what Eddie boy used to do? Jasper seemed to be picking something up from Isabella.

"It's impolite to stare Newton."

Newton as I will now call him flushed and bent his head down. Whilst the kid next to him stared, not that I know his name. All that I know is that he is staring at Isabella too. What is she? A piece of meat? Yeah, yeah. Don't go there.

"Same to you too Crowley."

Crowley just glared at Jasper. Dumb fucking move. Nobody, and I do mean nobody glares at Jasper without feeling some kind of consequence. Well with the exception of a certain pretty human sitting next to him. Upside to being the man's mate right there.

One of the skanks cleared her throat, before trying to be all flirty with Jasper. Not to mention myself.

"So."

Trying to draw out the so. Please.

"How do you two know each other?"

I was about to respond when...

"OW! You kicked me!"

Dumb, dumb was glaring at Isabella.

"Sorry, (No she isn't) muscle spasm."

Not that anyone bought it, with the exception of the female versions of dumb and dumber.

"No wonder you can't walk on a flat service."

Under her breath she uttered.

"Stupid fucking whore. Wonder if she's fucked all the Cullens and the hunks on the rez like Alice says."

I had to take hold of Char's thigh to prevent her from completely loosing it at that. As Char tried to control myself, I felt my power kick in again. The Major is on the verge of coming out to play. Fuck. Me. We can't have the Major slaughter the place. The Volturi will be on us all like a bad slutty date. Like dumb and dumber actually.

Mercifully Bella sensed this too. Whatever she did, calmed Jasper down real fucking fast. Faster than I thought possible.

"I'm about done here so..."

Jasper jumped, literally, off of his seat to pay the bill. Whilst myself, Char and Isabella understood the reason why dumb and dumber decided to speak whatever bullshit was running through their minds.

"Wow Bella. Not even Jasper can stand your worthless ass. Wonder how long it is until he bails."

Just like that a flip switched. The light that has been in Isabella's eyes disappeared instantly. Something that dumb bitch said has done this, and Jasper will kill her for sure. Char however, beat him too it. Not literally thank god, that's one hell of a clean up job, but my babe did jump down the slut's throat.

"Says the one that has to fuck every man into an STD."

I burst out laughing, I couldn't help it. Isabella's lips twitched slightly into a small smile.

"What's wrong darling?"

My laughter died in my throat. I knew that Jasper had heard, and I knew by how calm his voice is that Jasper is currently fighting tooth and nail to keep his ass under control.

"Just tired."

With that Jasper offered his hand, which Isabella took. Myself and Char got up too, leaving the idiots behind. Neither of them knowing how lucky they are to keep breathing tonight.

A/N: Goo/Bad? Thank you all for your reviews.

Now, as I was writing this chapter, I suddenly got hit with an idea for a whole brand new Jasper/Bella story. I know, I know. I said I wasn't going to for a while, but it's kind of sticking with me and have decided to go ahead with it. Also this will be an ALL HUMAN story.

Thanks Bunny1 for your help.