Chapter 13

I know, I know, I'm a terrible person for not updating, but here's the next chapter! Finally.

And just to through this out there, Cassandra Clare owns the characters and the Mortal Instruments and Good Charlotte own the song Hold On from which I got the idea for the title. The story in and of itself however is indeed mine Now I am going to go hide behind something, enjoy!

Clary sifted uncomfortably on her feet as she stood beside her car in the school's parking lot. She had to force herself from touching her face where she knew her bruises from last night were. Logically Clary knew for a fact that no one could see the blue tint to her skin because she had made sure to fix her make up just right, but a tiny bit of her was still afraid that someone might say something. Clary also had her wrist wrapped in an ace bandage and thankfully her burned hand no longer hurt and was only slightly pink. Her entire right side was sore, and bruised as well, but that was easy to hide. The tricky part was going to be gym, but she had already decided that she wouldn't take the spaghetti strap she had on under her Supernatural tee off that way no one would get a glimpse of her side.

Taking a deep breath, Clary made her way towards the school. She made it to her locker and to class without spotting any of her friends, which she found odd. But she wasn't about to worry about it too much, not when that included her not running into Jace or Magnus. Today was going to be a long day and tomorrow even longer.

Clary laid her head down on her desk the minute she sat down. She was vaguely aware of Alec sitting down beside her but didn't care enough to really pay that much attention to him. In fact, it took all her will power to lift her head off her desk when class started. Thankfully they ended up watching a movie so Clary didn't have to try to focus too much on class. In all honesty, she was too worried about how her next class or even lunch was going to go. Clary didn't know what to except from Jace and Magnus and she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to deal with Jace. Magnus sure, she had had a little time to work up to telling her friend the truth, Jace however was a completely different story. He had just found out, on his own, and she hadn't known him for years. Heck, she had hardly known him for weeks.

Suddenly Clary felt something jab her in the ankle and Clary jerked a little and turned to look at Alec, who was nudging her ankle repeatedly. Alec had a concerned look on her face and Clary immediately wanted to kick herself. In all of her worrying about Jace, Clary had completely forgotten about the other Lightwood boy, who, coincidently, was just as perceptive. Forcing a weak smile onto her face Clary tilted her head to the side a little; a way of asking what was up.

Alec frowned but very discretely passed her a note. Clary sighed a little and unfolded the piece of paper and read Alec's question about if she was okay. Closing her eyes for a second, she tried to center herself. She didn't know why, but for some reason Clary just couldn't quiet her mind or push all of her troublesome thoughts away.

Clary quickly scribbled that she was fine, just tired and passed the note back to Alec. The dark haired boy gave her a doubtful look but he seemed satisfied enough. When the bell range Clary couldn't have been more relieved, but as Clary neared her next class she started to feel anxious and her feeling of dread kept growing.

After taking a deep breath, Clary gripped her bag a little tighter and entered the science room. Keeping her head down, she quickly made her way to her seat and sat down. She didn't have to look to know that Jace was already there, Clary could practically feel his stare on her. When Clary could no longer bare his laser-like gaze she attempted to calm her anxiety and allowed her green eyes to meet Jace's golden ones.

Even though Jace's face was like a stone, Clary could still tell that he was scrutinizing her face, searching for any trace of discolored skin. He scrunched his eyes for a second before relaxing a little.

Clary's stomach was tying itself in knots.

Slowly, Jace leaned down toward her and stopped when his lips where close to her ear.

"I'm not going to ask you anything right now, nor will I ask at lunch, but I will discuss what happened with you before we leave school. Magnus and I both want an explanation." Jace's voice was stern, yet soft at the same time. He wasn't threatening at all; he just wanted to get his point across that he expected an explanation before Clary went home.

Not knowing what to say, or even trusting her voice, Clary simply nodded.

"Good." Jace leaned back in his seat. Clary opened her mouth, but at that moment class started and Clary was forced to return her attention to the front of the classroom.

The rest of Clary's day was fairly uneventful. Jace, true to his word, didn't bring up a topic dealing with anything remotely close to anything that had to do with yesterday. Magnus, even, hadn't harassed her about not telling him what had happened last night. But the closer it got to the end of the day, the closer Clary was to having to explain everything to Jace and telling Magnus the newest occurrence of her father's bad mood.

So, needless to say, when the final bell rang at the end of art, Clary really just wanted to run and hide, maybe even pull an ostrich and bury her head in the sand.

"Clary." Magnus's voice came from behind her, causing Clary to jump a little.

"I know." Clary sighed and without turning around and walked out of class and towards Jace's locker. She had already packed her homework in her bag because even though she didn't want to have this discussion, the sooner it was over the better. The closer Clary got to Jace's locker the more nervous she got.

"Oomph," Magnus groaned as he ran into Clary when she froze.

"Sorry," Clary's voice was a little stiff. Magnus put his hand on Clary's shoulder reassuringly and she tried her hardest to force a small smile, but in all honesty it probably looked more like a grimace.

Taking a deep breath, Clary continued walking towards Jace's locker. Clary stopped beside it just as Jace was closing it.

"Come on," Magnus said as he grabbed Clary's wrist and nodded his head, motioning for Jace to follow. Jace let out a humph sound but followed anyways. Clary didn't take in any of the surroundings around her, she merely allowed Magnus to lead her to wherever he wanted them to have this conversation. In fact, Clary didn't even notice that they were behind the bleachers of the football field until Magnus called her name.

"Sorry," Clary apologized meekly rubbing her hands up and down her arms. After a few moments of silence with both boys looking at her expectantly, she took a deep breath and set her resolve.

"Look, how about I answer Magnus's questions first and then I get to you, Jace." Clary said, looking at each boy. Jace didn't look too thrilled but her nodded along with Magnus in agreement.

"Alright then, tell me what happened yesterday." Magnus responded. Jace gave him a look but Magnus seemed to wave it off.

"Well, my father was having one of his bad days and what usually happened when he had a bad day happened." Clary responded cryptically. She knew Magnus wanted details, but she didn't know if she could go into detail of what had happened. In fact, she didn't want to tell the two boys looking at her so worried right now the step by step events that had happened the night before.
Magnus all but rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, Clary. Just tell me what happened." His yellow-green eyes flashing with irritation.

"I have a slightly sprained wrist, a burned palm, my right side is covered in bruises and there is a small gash on my side. There are also bruises on my jawline. Happy?" Clary spat out. "But on the bright side my left side is perfectly functional."

"Oh, don't get sarcastic with me right now. None of this is funny. In fact, this is quite serious." Magnus growled. Clary knew he wasn't mad at her, knew he was mad at the situation and at her father, and she knew that he would never hurt her, but in the end it didn't matter how much she knew or trusted her best friend because she couldn't help but flinch a little at the venom in his voice.

Seeing her reaction, Magnus's face paled a little and Clary instantly felt guilt whelm up within her stomach. "Can't you see how bad this is? How bad it could get?" Magnus's voice was softer.

Clary gave him a weak smile and grabbed his hand and squeezed is slightly, partly to show him she wasn't afraid of him and partly to just give herself comfort.

"You worry too much."

"Please."

Clary jumped at the sound of Jace's voice. Turning to look at him she saw that his had a scowl on his face and that his hands were balled into fists at his sides.

"Jace," Magnus warned but didn't get any farther because Jace interrupted him first.

"No, you just said how this was serious and now she is joking about it."

Magnus sighed at Jace's tone.

"Show me." Jace demanded, ignoring Magnus's disapproval.

"What?" Clary asked shocked.

"You heard me, show me what your dear old dad did." Jace's eyes were hard.

Clary gulped and look at Jace wide eyed.

"Jace." Magnus scorned, his voice dripping with disapproval.

"Oh for the love, it's not like I am asking her to take her clothes off for me. I just want to see what that jerk did to her."

Magnus and Jace continued to argue for a few more minutes before Clary could manage to clear her head enough to wrap around what Jace had just asked her, let alone to respond.

"Stop." Clary voiced softly. Either they didn't hear her or they ignored her because the two boys kept arguing.

"I said stop." Clary nearly shouted. This time she managed to grab their attention and silence fell between them.

"Why?" Clary asked, looking Jace strait in the eyes.

"What?" Jace's eyebrows scrounged up in confusion.

"Why do you want me to show you?"

"Because, hearing it and seeing it are always two very different things, that and I want to see how much you are playing down your injuries."

Clary and Jace looked each other in the eyes for a long time, almost as if they were challenging the other to back down and look away, but they both held their ground.

"Fine." Clary said as she pulled her shirt off tentatively. She then shimmied her jean shorts down a little on her hips and pulled the side of her spaghetti tank top up enough to bare her stomach, and with it the evidence of her father's newest tirade.

She heard Jace's sharp intake of breath before she saw his reaction. Looking up, she saw that Jace's face had gone pale but there was still rage in his golden eyes and they blazed like a fire. Pulling her shirt back down she glanced as Magnus and saw that he looked slightly sick and sad, though there was anger in his rigid stance as well.

"It's not as bad as it looks." Clary mumbled.

"Not as bad as it looks? You have got to be kidding me." Jace's face was still pale but he seemed to have gained back most of his composer.

"I've had worse." Clary knew the instant the words left her mouth that it was the wrong thing to say.

"What?" Jace roared. That was what it sounded like to Clary anyways, like a lion roaring.

"Calm down, Jace." Magnus said, staying calm, much to Clary's appreciation.

"Calm down. You want me to calm down? How are you not shocked, or even angry about this?"

"I am mad, but Clary's right and there isn't anything you can do over spilled milk."

"Oh, don't give me some ridiculous metaphor."

"Idiom." Clary corrected.

Jace gave her a look.

"Well it is." She mumbled.

"Simile, metaphor, idiom, I do not care what it is. All I care about is the fact that you don't even seem to care that your entire right side is pretty much one giant bruise."

"It's not that bad and you can stop exaggerating." Clary said, exasperated. This was both going how she expected and at the same time completely different. She knew Jace would be mad but she didn't expect him to keep his somewhat snarky devil-may-care attitude at the same time.

"Let me guess, that burn was one of your father's so called tirades. Along with that cut that was on your arm."

Clary stayed stone faced, even though she wanted to react and ask how he knew about the cut, because she had never said anything about it.

"It wasn't that bad." Clary repeated.

"Not that bad!"

"Jace." Magnus reprimanded the golden haired boy in a somewhat monotone voice.

Jace let out a huff of breathe and glared at Magnus, but he did cross his arms over his chest and didn't say anything more.

"Look, Clare," Magnus stated softly, using her old nickname from when they were younger. "I know you are tough and can take care of yourself." Jace snorted at this, but Magnus ignored him and kept talking. "I also know that you are extremely loyal and don't want to turn your dad in, but we have to find out a way to get him help. That's what you want isn't it?"

Clary nodded. She wanted that more than anything. If her dad could get help and stop drinking and find better ways to deal with his emotions things would get better, and not just the anger, but the sadness and helplessness as well. Valentine had never said a thing to Clary about his feelings, but she knew her father enough to know that he did feel helpless. She knew that deep down inside her father partly blamed himself for what had happened to their family even though it wasn't his fault at all. He had been working for Pete's sakes, there was nothing he could have done, and even if he had been home there was still nothing that could have been done. Clary also knew that her father hated himself a little for being so weak and allowing himself to take comfort in alcohol and not being able to stop his anger and taking it out on her. She saw the look in his eyes when he was just buzzed enough that after he pushed her around a little he instantly turned white and apologetic. She felt the tension the morning after when her father was sober and could remember what had happened the evening before and how he wanted to say sorry but was too afraid too, because the instant he did it made it all real and he didn't want it to be. Clary knew that her father was a good man and that he was sick and just needed help. It was just convincing him that there was no shame in getting help that was the tricky part.

"Good. " Magnus nodded.

Jace mumbled something under his breath, but Clary couldn't make any of it out, and this caused Magnus to look over his shoulder and glare, again, at the angry teen.

"What else do you want, Jace?" Clary asked impatiently. Jace was starting to get on her nerves, but she knew that he meant well. It didn't help her to not get any more irritated at him though.

"How long?" Jace demanded more than asked.

"About two years now I guess."

"Two years of this?" Jace looked a little sick, enraged, and sad all at the same time.

"It wasn't that bad in the beginning, just a slap or a push and my father would instantly apologize and it only happened once a month at the most if not longer. Then things just kept getting worse and my dad started drinking more and so he just got meaner." Clary shrugged. Yes, she knew it wasn't right but it also wasn't as bad as it could be. When the abuse had begun Clary had done some pretty extensive research and some of the things that people had to live through . . . it was enough to make Clary shutter just thinking about it. Thankfully, neither of the boys seemed to notice.

"It doesn't make it right, Clary." Jace reprimanded.

"I know it doesn't make it right, Jace." Clary practically shouted at him. "I know that my father needs help and that what he is doing it wrong, but I don't know how to convince him to get help yet and things aren't nearly as bad as they could be."

"You are being abused, how much worse can things get before you do something, Clary?" Jace bellowed. "How long are you going to be your father's punching bag?"

Clary could feel her face heat up not only in rage but in indignation as well. How dare Jace talk to her like that. He didn't have the right to talk down to her, as if she didn't know how serious all of this was. She knew. Clary knew that just because things weren't that bad right now didn't mean her father wouldn't progressively keep getting worse at a much faster pace. But she also knew that if she turned him in she would be taken away and he was the only family she had and she was his. There was no way she was going to let the state separate them, not when they were all that remained of the Morgensterns.

"Don't patronize me." Clary bit out. "You think I don't know how serious things are? I do, trust me, I am the one living through it, you, jerk. I also know that there are worse things that could happen to me, things I don't even want to think about. So, until I think my life is in actual danger I am not turning my dad in. I will find a way to get him help, but I will not turn him in. And if you say anything I will deny it and if it comes down to it I will lie."

Jace stared at Clary and Clary stared back, daring him to be the first one to look away. Clary was still mad, but not nearly as much. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jace sighed and ran his hands through his hair roughly.

"Fine. Have it your way."

Clary continued to just stare at Jace for a few more moments before she nodded her head. "Thank you."

"Well, now that you two are done. What about tomorrow?"

Clary had almost forgotten all about Magnus and at the sound of his voice she shot her head in his direction. It took a few seconds before his word fully sunk in, but once they did Clary's face turned white and her body grew a little cold. Fighting to keep the pain off her face and ignoring the aching in her chest she forced her lips to curve up just enough to be a ghost of a smile.

"What about tomorrow?" Jace asked, scrounging his brows up in curiosity.

"Nothing." Clary said quickly as she shot a glance at Jace and sighed. Looking back at, Magnus she just stood there and gazed at him for a moment as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"Well?"

"Nothing." Clary repeated. "There isn't any reason to worry about tomorrow."

"Clary," Magnus started but Clary cut him off with a raise of her hand.

"No, Mags, it will be fine."

Reluctantly Magnus nodded his head. "Fine."

"Is that it?" Clary glanced at her watch.

"Yes." Magnus said.

"Good. I'll see you guys later." Clary replied and then took off for home so she could try to get dinner finished before her father got home. It shouldn't be a totally awful day, it never was. Tomorrow however would most likely be a completely different story.

Finished! I am so sorry that this took so long, I had planned on posting it before the 4th of July but this chapter just didn't want to be written and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't think of anything. But here you are and I hope it was worth the wait. I admit it isn't much, but it's something. I also promise that in the next chapter a few more questions will be answered and I will try to have it written and posted as soon as I can. I just started college so I make no promises it will be a speedy update, but I will write every chance I get. Love you guys!