Chapter 21
Warning: Violent scene towards the end in italics. Feel free to skip it if you don't wish to read it, the context itself isn't something that will make you feel lost later.
He wasn't sure why, but Jace was keeping a close eye on Clary in gym. Yes, she had seemed fine all of today and she hadn't been acting any different than normal, but there was just something in her eyes that made him weary. Things had been good for her at home, her father, in her words, was in "good spirits" and there hadn't been any incidents and he had been letting her do things with her friends more. Yet, Jace's apprehension had never left. They had started the badminton course of gym and they were doing singles first, so there were times when Jace was playing the same time as Clary, something that admittedly bothered him a lot more than he knew it should.
Currently he had a bye and was sitting in the bleachers as he watched Clary play. She was off, he could tell. Her reactions were slow, almost labored, and she wasn't hitting back with full force. Jace sighed a little. Something had happened with Valentine again. He continued to watch Clary through her match, there wasn't time for Jace to start his next match so when Clary was done he went and changed early. Avoiding Sebastian like a pro, something Jace had realized was just a lot easier than getting in a fight every time he saw Verlac, Jace went to the gym doors and waited for Clary to get done changing herself. He sighed a little when she was one of the first of the locker room and there still weren't many other's from their class. Jace was also glad that Isabell wasn't with her.
As Clary approached the doors, Jace met her half way and pulled her over to the side. Jace ignored the confused look Clary shot up at him.
"What was it this time?" Jace whispered so no one else could hear their conversation as he leaned in closer to her.
"What-" Clary started.
"Don't even try to deny it. What did he do this time?" Jace bit out, barely controlling the sudden anger he felt at Clary being hurt yet again by the man who was supposed to be protecting her.
Clary met his eyes and sighed a little. Jace could almost see her deflate as she brought her hand up and rubbed her eyes in agitation.
"My ribs got bruised again."
Jace stood there for a second, making sure he had heard her right.
"Jace," Clary asked seemingly concerned.
Jace shook his head. "Why are you doing gym then?"
"Because the doctor okayed me to do gym." Clary replied in a dull voice.
"I know that, I mean why did you not go to the doctor."
"Because I can only fall down the stairs so many times, Jace Lightwood."
Jace was about to make a snappy retort, but forced himself to breath as he took in Clary's crossed arms and hard eyes. She was closing herself off. Something he didn't want to happen, he had worked so hard for her to open up to him he wasn't about to back track. Instead he took in a deep breath and let it out, his shoulders slumping a little as he exhaled.
"Clary."
That was all Jace said, just her name, but it was his tone of voice that held all the meaning and the look in his eyes. His voice was this odd mixture of regret, concern, and acceptance as his eyes just looked tired and seemed to have this hint of pleading in them. Jace didn't know how he could feel so many different emotions all at once, but when it came to Clary he felt a lot of things he wasn't exactly used to, both emotions he wasn't exactly previously familiar with and other feelings he knew well that seemed to be intensified when they involved the little redhead.
He could practically see Clary allowing her walls back down as see looked back at him and uncrossed her arms, instead letting them fall to her side.
"We can talk about it later." Clary replied softly before Isabelle came bouncing their way and started babbling on about a movie that was coming out Friday that she wanted to go see. Clary shot Jace a look and he just shrugged in reply as he gave her a 'what can you do' look at Isabelle's exuberance. And just like that, things were back at ease, sure this new predicament wasn't forgotten, but for the moment it was shoved to the side.
When the bell rang, Isabelle dragged Clary behind her as she continued to make plans for this weekend without giving Clary anytime to respond, or to even give enough time to really notice that Clary was just nodding along with her and not really paying much attention to Isabelle. As Jace watched them walk away he knew Clary wasn't participating with Isabelle's conversation on purpose, it was just that she had a lot on her mind. Jace sighed a little.
Before Clary was swallowed by the sea of students going to their next class, she looked back out Jace and mouthed something at him. Jace nodded in understanding and Clary looked back around.
The next hour seemed to crawl as Jace constantly checked the clock to see how much longer he had until the final bell rang and he could meet Clary, and most likely Magnus, so that they could talk. He needed to know what happened, granted he was sure that once he did know he would wish he didn't, but there was no going back now. Jace was all in, he had committed himself to helping Clary, however that may be, even if he didn't like that he couldn't do more.
The second the bell rang Jace was out of his seat and heading towards the door, already having packed his things into his bag. He didn't even stop by his locker; Jace had also packed his back before going to his last class of the day, knowing he would be anxious to meet up with Clary. Making a bee-line to the back doors of the school and then to a secluded area in the back parking lot, Jace didn't even take the time to apologize to the random people he accidently bumped into, just kept going.
Jace was fidgeting when Clary rounded the corner with Magnus right behind her. They were discussing something, but when Magnus saw Jace he shut his mouth before Jace could pick up what he had been saying. He didn't mind too much, Jace just really needed to know what had happened this past weekend.
Both boys stayed silent as Magnus and Clary stopped in front of Jace, waiting for Clary to talk when she was ready. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Clary looked each of them in the eye and took a deep breath before starting.
"So, my father wasn't exactly in the best of moods when I came home Saturday." Clary stated, shrugging a little. "He must have had a really bad night because he had had empty bottles of rum and whisky and cans of beer littered throughout the lower level of the house, enough that he had to have been drinking the night before too. He was finishing off a bottle of rum when I got home, decided to take his anger out on my ribs again."
"And you did gym today." Magnus stated, disbelief coloring his words.
"Yes."
"Clary," Magnus started in a warning tone.
"Don't, okay? Just don't." Clary said, her voice surprisingly harsh. "I don't want to hear it. I couldn't get out of gym and I couldn't go back to the doctor. I don't care what either of you too say or think, I will not have my father loose his respect. He's lost too much already. And I won't lose him, because that what's would happen if others found out. My father is still a good dad, it's only when he's drunk that he's awful. I know that isn't an excuse, but it's the truth. I'm all he has left and I'm not going to betray him."
"Okay." Jace raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "We get it. I don't like it, you know I don't. But I won't tell anyone. But I swear the moment you end up in the hospital because of something he's done is the moment I go to the police."
Clary scowled at him but seemed to accept it.
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Clary asked.
Magnus and Jace looked at each other then back at her.
"No. We just want to know how you're doing." Magnus sighed.
"I'm fine. I won't be able to do well in gym for a while, but it's only gym so that's fine I suppose." Clary shrugged.
Jace knew that was a lie. Clary was competitive, that was something he had noticed the first day in gym. It didn't matter what they played, she wanted to do her best and win. She wasn't a sore loser or anything, but Jace couldn't help but notice the smile Clary got on her face when she won.
"Alright."
Jace looked at Magnus and saw that it was everything but alright, but neither of them wanted to make Clary's day any worse and they both knew how much she hated talking about this subject in particular. So after a few more words and some goodbyes, they all went their separate ways.
Clary
Valentine never said anything about Clary's ribs, in fact, Clary was pretty sure he had no knowledge of it what so ever and didn't even remember his drunken stupor. She knew she shouldn't be relieved, but she was. Clary didn't want yet another reason for her father to feel worse, so Clary did her best to make sure that Valentine stayed in the dark. Another week passed and without much of a hitch. Gym was kicking her butt and Isabelle kept giving Clary suspicious looks, wondering why she wasn't up to par. Clary had fended it off saying she badminton was a weird weakness she had. Which was fine until Sebastian questioned why Clary was doing poorly as well. Thankfully Coach Wayne had signaled it was the end of class before Clary had to come up with an excuse for Sebastian, but it had made Isabelle curious again, something Clary didn't need in her life. One Lightwood hounding her was enough.
The next week was better; Clary's ribs were doing a lot better and hadn't been bruised as bad as they had been the first time, something that surprised Clary. With December slipping away and next week being finals, Clary was nothing but relieved. It meant her ribs could heal without much protest and she wouldn't have to keep hiding how much they really were affecting her from her friends, but at the same time Clary was worried about having that much time away from school. If her father stayed in a good mood it would be smooth sailing into the New Year, but holidays were always ruff on the Morgenstern family. They didn't celebrate most of them anymore, though Valentine and Clary still gave the other present for Christmas, it was just usually a few days after the actually holiday itself.
It was Friday and Clary had gotten the okay to go to the Lightwoods for the weekend. Clary was pretty sure her father was letting her stay until Sunday due to the fact he had gotten just drunk enough Tuesday to shove her to the ground when she hadn't come quick enough to clean up the glass that had shattered and rained down onto the floor when Valentine had chucked the empty bottle at the wall, thankfully not at Clary. She had had to go to the hospital and get stiches in her arm and hand from some particular sharp shards that had torn at her skin upon the impact. Valentine extremely more melancholy than usual after words, but when Clary had asked if she could go to the Lightwoods for a movie night/study session at the Lightwoods her father had been very quick to give her permission and to allow her to stay until Sunday if the Lightwoods didn't mind.
The school day had been a short one, then final bell ringing at one o'clock instead of 3:30, benefit of it being dead day part two and there being some random meeting for the teachers to attend. At the sound of the bell Magnus and Clary met up with the Lightwoods in the parking lot and headed to their house after picking up Max. Simon had a dentist's appointment and promised to meet up with them when he was done.
Clary was currently sitting on the floor around the coffee table in the living room with her ancient history books and notes spread out as she studied with Alec. Isabelle had disappeared shortly after and Jace had claimed he was going to study in his room for a bit before, in his words, Isabelle's chew toy showed up. Clary had shot Jace a sharp look, which he had promptly ignored. Magnus was in the kitchen making friends with the Lightwood's cat, Church, and supposedly working on his final art project, which Alec had told him would be more than fine as long as he didn't make a mess of Maryse's table. Max likewise had disappeared, but Clary couldn't say she minded, she was glad for the quiet her and Alec had to study for Mr. Kent's final.
"Clary."
"Huh?" Clary looked up from her noted at the sound of Alec saying her name.
"What's up with you and my brother?"
Clary just stared at Alec slack jawed and wide eyed for a while before snapping her jaw shut.
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said, what is up with you and my brother? You two have been going back and forth between dancing around each other and being like two peas in a pod." Alex explained.
Clary frowned. "Because he knows how to push my buttons."
Alex smiled knowingly, "that's not what I meant."
Clary didn't get a chance to respond because Max came tearing through the living room with Isabelle hot on his hills and then escaped towards the kitchen. Jace was soon to follow.
"Do either of you two know what that was about?"
"Nope." Alex said. Clary just shrugged.
"How much longer are you two going to be studying?" Jace asked, turning his attention back to them instead of the kitchen.
"I think we're almost done," Alex responded before Clary even had the chance to reply. Clary looked at Alec questioningly. Yes, they had gone through most of the chapters and yes Clary didn't think either of them had much to worry about, but she had thought they would study for a while longer. "Actually, I'm just going to go see what Magnus and Church are up to. We can finish the chapters we have left later."
Alec promptly got up and left.
"Well, okay then." Jace said watching his brother and then looking down at Clary. "Want to stop being so studious and come play some video games with me?"
Clary glanced in the direction of the kitchen one more time before looking up at Jace and accepting his offered hand.
"Sure, why not."
…..
…
…..
Later that night, after movies and dinner and a couple Lightwood quarrels, Clary was trying to calm her breathing down from the dream she had just had. She was standing by Isabelle's window, with it cracked just enough to let in a little of the cool air to help cool Clary's hot skin. Clary's mind kept dwelling on the nightmare that had startled her awake, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her brain to focus on something else.
Clary and her father had been having dinner, like they had before her mother and brother had died. They were bantering back and forth like they did, talking about shows and movies and books and other people. But then the scene cut out and instead of sitting at her kitchen table Clary was being pushed up against the wall, her windpipe being blocked off so that it was hard to get the required amount of oxygen for her lungs.
"Dad," Clary tried to get out, but her voice wasn't there, she could barely move her lips. She was dimly aware of Valentine yelling at her, words that cut like glass and left gaping wounds.
Suddenly, the grip was gone from her throat and Clary was sinking to her kneed on the floor. The relief didn't last long because Clary was being pulled up by her hair. Tears were streaming down her face and Clary met her father's gaze. Blinding fear rippled through her body as she saw her father's cold eyes. They were almost entirely black and full of hatred and rage and murderous intent. There wasn't a single ounce of kindness left on his face.
Clary wasn't aware of her father moving until her back met sharply with the corner of the counter top, digging into her skin painfully. Then he was hitting her, punches and kicks and back hands. Clary tried to curl up on herself but it didn't help. She yelped when an iron grip grabbed both of her wrists and yanked her up off of the ground.
"All of this, their deaths, this life, it's all your fault. They'd be alive if it wasn't for you."
Valentines voice was cold and dark. Chills rant down Clary's bruised spine.
Clary had barely saw the wink of steal before she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen. Looking down in shock, Clary saw a knife embedded in her stomach, red quickly coating the clothe surrounding the site. A scream ripped through her throat as Valentine twisted the knife.
"D-daddy . . . p-please . . ." Clary choked out weakly. Valentin just snarled at her, pulled the knife out, and stabbed again.
Clary had woke with a gasp after that, tears in her eyes and her heart beating so fast she thought the organ would beat out of her chest.
Suddenly Clary felt restless and pent up. Before she even knew what she was doing she was out of Isabelle's room and knocking on Jace's door.
The door opened up a minute after Clary had started knocking, revealing a bed headed Jace wearing only pajama pants that hung low on his hips.
"Clary?" Jace asked, his voice still sleepy and his gaze completely puzzled as he rubbed his eyes. Then, as if he had gotten a better look, said, "Is everything alright?"
Clary was slightly aware that tears were still streaming from her eyes and she was shaking a little. Without even thinking about it she threw herself into Jace, who wrapped his arms around her.
"It's alright, I promise, everything fine." Jace said softly, patting Clary's head in a comforting manner.
Clary was deftly aware of him pulling her into his room, closing his door, and sitting on his bed. When Clary's tears had stopped and she had calmed down enough to talk Clary pulled back just enough to look at Jace's face. His eyes were open and caring, full of warmth and worry. It made Clary feel better, surprisingly.
"I'm sorry." Clary said, a little embarrassed at crying into Jace's bare shoulder.
"It's fine, did you have another dream?" Jace kept his voice soft and gentle, as if she was a skittish animal that would scurry off and hide at any moment, which, realistically, probably wasn't too far from the truth.
"Yes."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not right now." Clary said, her heart rate picking up again at the very idea.
"It's alright; do you want to stay here?"
Clary knew she should have balked at the idea, but leaving the warmth and safety that was Jace seemed like the worst thing that could have happened at the moment.
"Okay." Clary said softly, exhaustion suddenly crashing down on her. Jace pulled the blankets back and let Clary burry down into the bedding. She was fighting to keep her eyes open so she could track Jace's movements in the moonlit room. When she realized Jace was starting to pull more bedding so he could sleep on the floor she spoke up.
"Don't."
"What?" Jace asked, pausing in his motions to look at her.
"Come here." Clary said. When Jace seemed to be stuck debating with himself Clary added, "please."
Jace stopped the blanket in his hands and as Clary's eyes became too heavy to keep open she felt the dip of the bed under Jace's weight and the ruffle of blankets. Clary scooted until she was next to Jace and could soak up his warmth. She was so tired she didn't even notice that Jace's chest was now covered in fabric. Her last thought though, before she was overwhelmed by sleep, was that this felt safe.
I would just like to say that I am so freaking sorry. This was supposed to be up before the end of June and that obviously didn't happen. My spare time this summer was next to nonexistent so I'm extremely sorry for the long wait. I also hit a few speed bumps with this chapter, which didn't help, but it's here.
Also: I would like to say thank you to all of you readers who have put up with my awful attempt of updates. Thank you so much for sticking with me.