Chapter 3: The Ticket Hider
Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony or any songs I use in this story.
Note: Sorry it took a while to update, I've had a lot going on this summer. I'll work on getting them in sooner. If you do not approve of the element I use (Deception) please give me ideas on other ones that exists both in and outside friendship and I will gladly add it at some point.
I was in the middle of a little make out session with Rainbow Dash (looks like I got used to kissing this pony, how scary is that?) when I look down to see Twilight, Spike, and Applejack walking to the Apple family barn with baskets of apples. Twilight and Spike were obviously hungry and Spike was searching through a basket for a special apple.
"Hey baby, you might want to listen to this," I told Rainbow Dash.
Spike then dug his teeth into the juiciest apple of the bunch.
"Spike, I thought you were saving that for me!" yelled Twilight.
"Sorry," he replied.
Rainbow Dash just had a puzzled look on her face. "How is this more important?"
"Keep watching."
Spike then spit up a scroll and began to read it out. "Hear yee, hear yee. Her grand royal highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capitol city of Canterlot on the 21st day of…" he then becomes a terrible example of an assistant by skipping to the end. "- cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest."
The two ponies then get excited while I held Rainbow Dash back for a little bit. "The Grand Galloping Gala!" the two cried.
Spike was sickened by their reaction and soon spat up two golden tickets.
"Wow, I've never been to the Gala; have you Spike?" Twilight asked.
"Twilight, I'm your assistant. I have to follow you everywhere!" Spike screamed. "If you've never been there, then of course I haven't! Besides, I'd like to keep it that way. You are just too girly about this."
"Agreed," I mumbled.
"Aw, come on Spike," I heard Twilight say, "A dance would be nice."
Applejack quickly rushed over to try and convince Twilight to give her the extra ticket. "Nice, it's a hell load more than just nice. I'd love to go, it would allow me to sell my apples and fix everything on this farm."
"Oh, in that case, would you like to…"
I let Rainbow Dash go and said, "Here's your chance." Unfortunately she had stopped paying attention and fell like a stone. Scratch that, she fell like a boulder. "Sorry."
She quickly got over it and tried to get hold of the ticket. I could've told them what would happen later, but I'm sure this would count for Luna.
"Are we talking about the mother fucking Grand Galloping Gala!?" she cried out.
"Rainbow Dash, you said you were too busy to help pick apples! What were you busy doing? Spying?" Applejack asked.
"No, I would never stoop that low… I was having a make out session." She pointed up to me and all I could do was wave sheepishly. "I just so happen to hear you have an extra ticket Twilight."
"Yes, but…"
"Yes!" Rainbow yelled. "This is bitchin'! The Wonderbolts perform at the Gala every fucking year!" she went on to explain how if she went then she could join her favorite group.
"Sorry Rainbow, that's not going to happen," I mumbled.
"Did you say something Tommy?" she asked.
Oh shit, she heard me. "Uh, nothing, I didn't say anything my sweet sonic rainboom." Luckily, she bought the lie, now there are two for the letter to Luna.
"Now hold an apple-pickin' minute. I asked for that ticket first, and I'm gonna get it," Applejack jumped in. Thank you Applejack, you just saved my flank.
"Nu-uh."
"Yeah-huh."
"Nu-uh."
"Yeah-huh."
"Nu…"
The fighting ceased when Twilight interrupted. "Now hold on. These are my tickets, I'll decide who gets them. Maybe I'll give the other one to Tommy."
"No thanks, I'm good." I called down.
"Oh well then the pony with the best reason should get to go," the purple unicorn said.
"I need a new barn, help making a living, and fix Granny Smith's hip."
"I could get a chance for the Wonderbolts, for me to live the dream, and possibly some alone time with Tommy if you give me both the tickets."
"Still no!" I yelled.
Twilight looked like she got an idea. "Speaking of Tommy, didn't he get tickets from Princess Luna?"
God dammit! Why is she so smart? "Um, yes, but you see… since Luna is the minor princess, she only gave me one ticket." Please buy it.
"Oh well. You guys both have really great suggestions. I'm going to have to think this through," Twilight said. Then her belly grumbled and she looked embarrassed. "Oops, I never could think on an empty stomach. I'm going to go get something to eat and hopefully come to a decision."
I decided that I would have a snack and enjoy the show. "This is gonna be good." I took a seat on the closest cloud and started eating some popcorn as Twilight walked into town.
Twilight was wandering through town for something to eat, when, guess who runs into her. It was the most random pony in all of Equestria, Pinkie Pie. The tickets fell out of Spike's grasp and landed on Pinkie Pie's nose.
"Ah, a bat! Wait, that's not a bat. Those are tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!" she squealed. "The Grand Galloping Gala is the biggest party ever! Can I go? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?"
"Oh Pinkie Pie, you're so random." It then occurs to me that I said something similar to that before I was sucked into this world. "I really need to work on thinking outside the box."
A blue glow then surrounds the tickets and they instantly rise off the ground. Rarity brings the tickets to her face and her eyes instantly light up.
"Oh my god, the Grand Galloping Gala!" she squealed. She then instantly fainted. A rabbit sprinted at Rarity and took away the tickets. The rabbit then ran up to a certain yellow Pegasus.
"Oh my, what are these?" Fluttershy asked. She carefully read the tickets and shyly strutted up to Twilight. "Um… Twilight, if you haven't given them to anyone else… um… could I please… um… have…."
Before Fluttershy could finish her extremely long sentence, Rarity had suddenly woken up from her nap.
"You want to go to the gala?" she questioned angrily.
"Well no," then the rabbit tapped her shoulder, "I mean, yes, sort of. You see, I really just want to see the garden; all of the kinds of flora and fauna. The trees, and birds, and…"
"No!" Rarity yelled. "I need that ticket! It's the only way I can meet… him." She suddenly got a dreamy look in her eyes.
"Yay, him!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "Who's him?"
"Him," Rarity called, "the colt of my dreams. We'll meet and soon he'll propose to me, and of course I'll say, 'Yes!'"
"Now hold on!" I looked up to see Rainbow Dash; this is going to get ugly. "Two things; 1) I've already met the right guy, so it's a waste to use the ticket on that. 2) Twilight has already promised me the ticket!"
Twilight finally had enough. "Quiet!"
But Pinky Pie kept talking. "And I was like, there is no way you're going to pop my cherry pie."
At this I'm choking on my popcorn in surprise. "What the fuck did she say?"
Pinky looked straight up at my cloud and called out. "I said that there was no way that guy was going to pop my cherry pie. Weren't you listening Tommy?"
Finding it pointless to try hiding, I yell down, "How did you know I was up here?"
"It's really easy to hear you, even when you mumble."
I just lower my voice and say to myself, "I don't mumble."
"You just did!" called Pinky.
"Damn it!" Rainbow Dash then flew up to my cloud, a huge frown plastered on her face. "Uh… hey there sweetie."
"So, you were spying on us?"
"Weren't you spying on Twilight?"
"Good point, all is forgiven," she said.
I quickly pecked her on the cheek and she flew back to try and get hold of the ticket.
Twilight cleared her throat. "Now that that's taken care of, I'm going to have lunch and try to decide who can have the ticket. Please stop arguing by then."
The mane six separated when suddenly a sharp pain hit me and I plummeted to the ground.
"Ah! What the fuck?"
I look up and a grey pegasus with bubbles for a cutie mark was on my cloud.
"Sorry Tommy," Derpy Hooves said, "I just don't know what went wrong."
Knowing that Derpy was being sincere with her apology, I accepted it.
I glided over to get myself something to eat. I bought myself some lovely apples from Granny Smith and a few flowers from the nearest stand, I couldn't be happier with my meal. Suddenly it started raining and I heard yelling. When I look over my shoulder I find a huge mob chasing after Twilight. I knew what was coming up and I joined Spike and the rest of the mane six inside of the library.
Soon, Twilight came in and the argument over who got the ticket continued.
Twilight finally reached her breaking point. "That is it! I've had it! You are all best friends; I'm not going to let this one ticket ruin that. Spike, take a note."
She then had Spike write her very own lesson on how she learned about friendship to Princess Celestia. Soon Spike burped up a letter back.
The new letter told how Twilight could've just said this in the first place and six tickets were given back. All of the mares were in a group hug when Rarity realized something.
"Wait a minute. Tommy knows what's supposed to happen right?"
"Right," replied Fluttershy.
"And he watched as we all argued for the ticket?"
"Yeah," said Spike.
"So he knew that we were going to end up with six tickets."
At this statement, every mare in the room turned towards me. "Uh… I wanted Twilight to learn her lesson."
"Not… good… enough," Twilight said. Suddenly I'm blasted with a burst of pink energy. I'm dangling from the branches of the tree when I see Derpy right next to me.
"I just don't know what went wrong."
"Neither do I Derpy; neither do I."As the mares walk by, I decide to try and spoil their fun. "It's gonna suck, none of you are going to like the Gala!" I'm then blasted with another ray of pink energy. "Well, I have to get my catch phrase in. I don't care what you do! I'm sexy and I know it!"
After the Show
I look right at the screen and say. "Okay guys, I'm going to try and do this every time. I'm either going to do parody of a song to go with My Little Pony or change the name of the artist. Now introducing: Toby Colt!" A red unicorn then steps out next to me.
"Nice to be here."
I notice that his flank has two cutie marks and I decide to bring it up. "Is that a guitar and a red solo cup for cutie marks?"
"Why yes they are. I'm one of the only ponies in Equestria that has more than one cutie mark. Now am I going to sing or what?"
"Go right ahead."
'Beers Ago' By: Toby Keith
"I had a hand-ne-down ride, painted rattle can red,
"Second hand ties with poor boy treds.
"Made a lot of almost love in the bed of that cart that got stuck a lot.
"Just letter jacket boys singing Jerry Jeff songs,
"Drinking everything we could get our hands on.
"Learning 'bout right by doin' it wrong, hopin' we didn't get caught.
"And we spent what little bit of money we had, on Wintergreen Skoal a main street gas.
"Go get your girl, go make your drag. If you're lucky, you can take her cross the railroad tracks.
"Where the Mare and the Moon, works her magic on the second runner up of the 4-H pageant.
"Seems like yesterday, even though~
"That was fourteen hundred, fifty-two years ago!
"Skipped that town on my birthday, for eighteen years I was headed that way.
"Where old red stopped, I just stayed in a room without a view.
"I met a one look mare in a two bit bar, I had a place, she had a car.
"I won her heart with my guitar, I sang her the homesick blues,
"'bout spendin' what little bit of money we had on Wintergreen Skoal and main street gas.
"Go get your girl, go make your drag, if you're lucky you can take her cross the railroad tracks.
"Where the Mare and the Moon works her magic on the second runner up of the 4-H pageant.
"It seems like yesterday, even though~"
Suddenly Princess Luna dropped out of the sky to finish the line.
"That was fifteen hundred, sixty-two beers ago~"
The two then decided to finish the song together.
"Oh~~~
"We spent what little bit of money we had on Wintergreen Skoal and main street gas.
"Go get your girl, go make your drag. If you're lucky you can take her cross the railroad tracks!
"Where the Mare and the Moon works her magic on the second runner up of the 4-H pageant.
"It seems like yesterday, even though~"
Toby: "That was sixteen hundred, fifty-two beers!"
Luna: "A whole lot of highway, a whole lot of years!"
Both: "Sixteen hundred, fifty-three beers ago~!
"Oh~!"
I was just staring bugged eyed at the ending of the performance.
Luna looked up at Toby and smiled. "That was a good day, yesterday."
"Thank you Miss Luna."
This snapped me out of my trance. "Toby, you hooked up with the princess?"
Toby just looked up at the sky and said, "Well, look at the time. Guess it's time to go. So long."
"Yeah, hope I can have you as a guest again," I said.
Luna walked up behind me, "While I'm here, how about you tell me how you deceived to help someone today."
I looked back up at her and said, "Today I lied to help Twilight learn her lesson in friendship."
"Very good, have fun."
I watched as she flew off, a look of confusion on my face. "Well, until next time. Sorry about the late update, I'll try and get more time on the computer."