Chapter Four: Apple buck Season

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony or any songs that show up in this story.

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Well, last night sucked. Sure I got to meet one of the greatest country singers ever, but I got my flank handed to me on a silver platter. Derpy felt bad for me, so she gave me one of her delicious muffins. I need to remember to do something nice for her eventually.

I was on a flight with Rainbow Dash when I flew strait into an apple tree. I need to remember to pay attention when doing something.

I look down, only to see a sweaty Applejack and a basket of apples.

"Thanks Tomboy, I was starting to get tired of bucking all of these trees," she said.

I noticed how there were hundreds of trees with ripe, juicy apples. I then knew what time of year it was.

"It's apple buck season, isn't it."

She seemed shocked. "Only ponies who harvest apples… never mind, ya'll know the future.'

"Yeah, and you're going to need some help."

"Ain't no way Sam hell that I'm going to accept help from any pony. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to work; these apples won't shake themselves out of the trees."Suddenly the earth started shaking and an apple fell to the ground. "I stand corrected."

Rainbow Dash flew down, bugged eyed in fright.

"St-t-t-t-t-t-t-t…."

Applejack grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her close. "Gosh darn it, spit it out girl."

"St-t-t-t-stampede!"

When we made it back to town, we found every pony running in circles, terrified of being trampled by the oncoming cows. Well, almost every pony.

Pinkie Pie was her same, happy, laughing self. She was enjoying the feeling of the ground shaking, going along with it and bouncing up and down. "H-h-h-e-e-e-e-e-y-y-y-y-y th-th-th-i-i-s-s-s-s m-m-m-a-a-a-k-k-e-e-e-s-s-s-s m-m-m-y-y-y-y v-v-v-v-o-o-o-i-i-i-i-c-c-c-c-e-e-e-e s-s-s-s-o-o-o-u-u-u-n-n-n-d-d-d-d s-s-s-s-i-i-i-l-l-l-l-y-y-y-y!"

Twilight starts running for her library while calling out, "Every pony for herself!"

Mayor Mare tried to calm every pony down, only for them to continue to panic. Rarity pointed to the horizon to find Applejack and her dog Winona sprinting trough the crowd of cows. Rainbow Dash and I were following, a nervous look on Rainbow's face while I was relaxing and flying in a laid back position.

Winona and Applejack split up to either side of the cows in order to bring order to the stampede.

"This is the best rodeo show ever!" cried Pinkie Pie before stuffing her face into a bag of popcorn.

Twilight looked over at Pinkie, a puzzled look on her face. "Where did you find the time to pop that?"

"How did Tommy find the time to pop his yesterday?"

"Touché," replied Twilight.

"Girls, keep your eyes on the oncoming cows," said Mayor Mare. "If Applejack fails to stop this, we'll need to move as soon as possible."

With a whistle from Applejack, Winona jumped on top of the stampeding the cattle and ran to the front of the herd. Applejack then lassoed the lead cow and tugged, by turning the leader the rest soon followed. Cries of terror in Ponyville soon turned to cheers of joy as the town was saved from being squashed.

Applejack used her full force in order to stop the lassoed cow and brought the complete herd to a stop. "Now what the hell, got into all of you?" she asked.

The nearest female cleared her throat and spoke up first. "Sorry, Applejack, but Moogaret saw a snake out in our pasture, and yah know that would freak all of us out."

Rainbow's eyes lit up at this. "So, that's where I left my rubber snake."

Applejack kept a neutral look on her face, but when Rainbow turned around she quickly brought her hoof up and bitch slapped her to the ground. "Ya'll should know not to leave something like that with cows."

With one arm twitching, Rainbow Dash said, "I-I-I-I w-w-was going to p-p-prank Fluttershy."

I picked Rainbow up and started to bring her to the hospital. "See yah later."

Applejack called up, "See yah at the award ceremony for my many times of helping the ponies of Ponyville."

"Yeah, see yah next week."

One Week Later

We were all gathered in the town square, waiting for the ceremony to begin. I wore my usually tux with gem belt and sneakers look. Every mare in the place was looking at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Well, if I'm going to say something I might as well say my catch phrase. I'm sexy and I know it," I said to the crowd.

Every girl there squealed and Rainbow flew right into me and wrapped me up. I would have never considered her the possessive type. Thank Celestia Twilight started her speech; otherwise I might have been knocked unconscious and woken up surrounded in mares… damn it, why did Twilight have to start?

"Thank you for coming every pony. Today we are here to honor a pony who can be trusted to help any problem, big or small. A pony who's contributions to…"

Rainbow Dash then swooped in and interrupted her speech. "Did you see how she stopped those cows; that was so bad ass! Tomorrow she'll be helping me perfect the best stunt, one that will be sure to earn me a spot in the Wonderbolts."

With her train of thought gone, I quickly flew up and dragged Rainbow off stage. "Sorry about that ladies and gentlecolts."

Twilight cleared her throat, but before she could say anything she was interrupted by Pinkie Pie. "On Tuesday, I get to run Sugar-cube Corner for the first time. Applejack will be helping me and since everything she makes is super duper whooper delicious, free samples for every pony!"

Every single pony cheered at this; apparently they already forgot who this ceremony was for.

I could tell that Twilight was getting angry, so right before Fluttershy could interrupt I grabbed hold of her and dragged her away to. "You're welcome."

Twilight was about to start talking again, but Mayor Mare poked her on the shoulder and she finally gave up. With one final scream of anger she tossed the cue cards she was holding in the air and trotted off.

The mayor walked on stage and cleared her throat. "And so, without further ado, it is my great pleasure to give the Prize Pony of Ponyville award to our beloved guest of honor; a pony of the up most trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity, Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend, Applejack!"

Everyone started to cheer, but when the curtains behind her were pulled back, it was revealed that no pony was there. Everyone gasped with surprise that Applejack didn't show up, everyone except one baby dragon.

Spike had kept his eyes closed during the opening of the curtains so he didn't know that Applejack didn't show up. "Yeah, alright Applejack, you're the best! Way to do awesome!" he called out. Once he realized she wasn't on stage he quickly shut up and a pink blush covered his face. Everyone stayed quiet, not knowing what to do. "Awkward~."

Out of nowhere, everyone hears, "I'm here, I'm here."

With a huge yawn Applejack walked on stage. Her eyes almost closed and thousands of bags underneath them. She went up to the microphone and said, "I'm proud to accept this… *yawn* here trophy. It's so bright and shiny… and…" she then started chuckling at her reflection in the metal, "I sure do look funny." She started moving back and forth, watching as her image in the trophy change; and, of course, the most random pony in all of Equestria chose to join in.

After a quick interruption from Twilight, Applejack grabbed hold of her trophy and trotted off to Sweet Apple Acres.

After the award ceremony I followed Applejack to the farm in order to try and get her to feel better. That's when I realized what episode it was. When I get to the farm I find Applejack bucking trees and collecting the apples that fell. Big Macintosh has been injured for the last week and she's been collecting the apples of the season for this entire time. I try to convince her to accept my help, but she was too proud of herself to do so.

That's when Twilight showed up. I told her what was going on and she tried to convince Applejack to take her help, also failing at it. I then pulled Twilight to the side.

"Okay, look here. I'll watch over her with my disguises, deception comes in many forms. If she ever messes up on anything, I'll try and convince her to take it easy," I said.

Twilight didn't seem to like the idea, but she agreed to it anyway.

The next day I hid myself inside a cloud big enough for two and poked two holes in the bottom for my eyes. Today was the day that Applejack would help Rainbow Dash with a new trick for the Wonderbolts. Being tired, Applejack showed up late.

What I saw was that there was a huge see-saw lever and a high platform. Applejack was supposed to jump from the platform to one end in order to send Rainbow Dash flying. Applejack got to the top and looked down, I could already tell this wasn't going to go well.

First try, Applejack fell strait to her face. Second try, was on her flank. Third was on her back while the fourth was on her face again. She tried just pressing it down from the ground, it raised the other end off the ground but only pissed off Rainbow Dash. When Applejack got off, Rainbow lost her balance and fell forward. Applejack climbed back to the top and jumped while Rainbow was still on her stomach. This time she hit the lever and Rainbow Dash went flying, sadly she couldn't do anything and came right at the cloud I was in. She hit me dead on, wrapped her hooves around me and held on for dear life.

"Oh, hey sweetie," she said.

"Hey baby."

We kept flying at full speed until we reached Canterlot. Good news was that we finally stopped. Bad news was that we broke through the roof of the castle and landed in Princess Luna's bedroom.

"Tommy! What art thou doing here?" she asked.

I explained everything that was going on and she seemed proud that I was using deception to help out a friend again.

"Well then, thou must be on you your way."

"Yes Princess, farewell."

Rainbow and I made it back to Ponyville and once again I tried to convince Applejack to take it easy and accept our help, but she was as stubborn as a mule. Looks like I'm going to have to try again tomorrow.

Tuesday

I was first in line at Sugar-cube Corner to get myself hold of a free sample of the muffins Applejack was making. I was in my best disguise yet, no way was any pony going to guess it was me. I managed to dress up so I was a white stallion with a brown goatee.

The muffins were finally placed for any pony to take. Derpy grabbed as many as she could while everyone else scrambled just to get one. I finally got hold of one when I remembered that this muffin was made by Applejack and the ingredients were potato chips, soda pop, lemon juice, and earth worms. It almost made me vomit just thinking about it. I was about to throw it away when the green unicorn that any brony would recognize as Lyra Heartstrings, the human obsessed pony, walked up to me.

"Excuse me, aren't you Tommy," she asked, "the pony that saved Equestria by defeating Nightmare Moon and transforming her back into Luna?"

I was bugged eyed at this. "Yes I am, but how did you know it was me?"

"That was easy, no pony just disappears and then another one shows up for no reason," she said. Then she leaned in close with the biggest smile on her face. "So, is it true that you used to be human?"

I knew what would end up coming next, but I couldn't lie and break any ponies' dream. "Yeah."

She almost suffocated me with joy, where was her friend Bon Bon at a time like this? "Oh my Celestia, oh my Celestia, oh my Celestia, what are humans like? Why are their knees backwards from us ponies? Are there different kinds of humans? What do humans eat? How do humans sleep? Tell me everything!"

Celestia help me! "Um… how about I just answer those questions for now?"

She backed up, still smiling like a maniac. "Fine, just please answer them."

"Okay, well humans are just like the ponies here. Some are cruel and mean to one another while others are kind hearted and want to help others. Some are athletic while others are… below average."

"Interesting, go on."

"Um… well human knees are like that so that they can move quicker."

This confused her. "So, wait. The knees are like that so they can move quickly, but we can move miles faster than they can?"

"Correct."

"Wow~."

I was going to finish but at that moment every pony in the bakery took a bite of the rotten muffins. Unfortunately that also included me. Derpy didn't vomit until she ate every single one of her muffins. Every pony else rushed right to the nearest restroom and up chucked until every last drop in their stomach was drained.

I confronted Applejack later to try and convince her for help again, and again she denies everything.

"It was Pinkie Pie that gave me the wrong recipe!" she yelled.

"No, you were too tired to be able to hear her correctly!" I screamed back. I was getting tired of her not realizing her mistakes and blaming other people.

Wednesday

I may have kept Fluttershy from announcing the favor AJ owed her at the assembly, but that didn't mean Applejack wasn't going to help her.

AJ was supposed to help Fluttershy round up the bunnies so she could track of all of them. Too bad for her Applejack was a little cranky and brought Winona to the round up. I myself took a page from the book of Peta the bread boy and painted myself to camouflage perfectly with the tree behind me. I saw as AJ yelled at the rabbits and then had Winona chase after them when they ran away. The rabbits grew so scared that they ran directly from Ponyville.

I flew as fast as I could, so fast that the paint chipped off, for Ponyville. As soon as I got there I warned every pony of the oncoming stampede. Some just laughed at me, that it, until they saw the huge dust cloud created.

There was nothing Applejack could do to stop this stampede. I flew to bring as many ponies as possible to higher ground as possible. I watched as millions of rabbits trampled through town, such a sad sight. I couldn't save every pony, and sadly there were trampled. Luckily these were just rabbits, so no harm was done.

When Twilight saw what happened to the once beautiful town, she finally lost it. "Enough is enough." And with that, we set off to confront AJ.

With one final kick, she harvested the tree she was on and cheered. "How do you like me now? I finished harvesting the entire orchard."

That's when Big Mac walked up to her and pointed out that she only harvested half of the field. After that she only passed out from exhaustion.

When she woke up we finally convinced her to let me and the rest of the mane six help her in the harvest.

With the speed of me and Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Rarity's magic, and the… um, should I call it help of Pinkie and Fluttershy we were able to clear the acres of apple trees in no time. Looks like AJ learned her lesson.

After the Show

"Well, it's time for our musical guest once again. And once again, we get the pleasure of having the very special, Toby Colt as our guest."

Toby Colt walked back on stage, happy that he could perform again.

"Glad to be here." I gave his guitar and he strums a little beat. "This one is about the best country on this world."

Made in America parody

Made in Equestria by: Toby Colt

"My old man's that old man,

"spent his life livin' off the land,

"dirty hooves and a clean soul.

"It breaks his heart seein' foreign cars,

"filled with fuel that isn't ours

"and wearin' cotton he didn't grow~.

"He's got the Sun and the Moon flyin' high on the farm

"Semper Fi tattooed on his left arm.

"Spend a little more in the store for a tag in the back that says 'EQA~.'

"He won't buy nothin' that he can't fix

"with WD40 and a Craftsman wrench.

"He ain't prejudice, he's just

"Made in Equestria!

"He loves his wife, she's that wife

"that decorates on the Fourth of July

"but says, 'Every day is Independence Day!'

"She's Golden Rule, teaches school

"some folks say 'it isn't cool'

"but she, says the Pledge of Allegiance anyway~!

"He's got the Sun and the Moon flying high on the farm,

"Semper Fi tattooed on his left arm.

"Spend a little more in the store for a tag in the back that says 'EQA~!'

"He won't buy nothin' that he can't fix

"with WD40 and a Craftsman wrench.

"He ain't prejudice, he's just

"Made in Equestria!

"Born in the heartland, raised up a family

"of Discord and alicorns.

"He's got the Sun and the Moon flying high on the farm,

"Semprer Fi tattooed on his left arm.

"Spend a little more in the store for a tag in the back that says 'EQA~!'

"He won't buy nothin' that he can't fix

"with WD40 and a Craftsman wrench.

"He ain't prejudice, he's just

"Made in Equestria!

"…

"Made in Equestria~!

"Made in Equestria.

"…

"Yeah, my old man's that old man.

"Made in Equestria."

The music kept up until the song finally ended.

I had a tear in my eye at this point. "That was beautiful, man."

"I'm just proud to sing of this pony nation."

A light bulb then went off above my head. "Hey Toby, Big Mac is like the guy in your song and then Miss Cheerilee is just like the woman. Is there a chance that eventually they really will end up together?"

"No spoilers."

"Oh c'mon…"

"No spoilers."

Now I was disappointed, "Fine, well it was good to see you again. Maybe eventually you'll have another song that we can do."

"Let's hope so."

Note: If you want me to try to find a song to make a parody of, send it in a review or pm me. I'm up for ideas. Thank you for reading!