"As instructed by my human resources guideline manual, a.k.a. 'Approaching Humans Without Them Sensing the Distress of Imminent Death'; I am morally obliged to engage in idle talk and go through this list of everyday remarks which have been scientifically studied and proven to have calming effects on wild animals. Please do not answer any of the following rhetorical questions."

The overhead voice seemed to buzz quietly as the elevator gave an unsoundly crank, and jolted to the left. Within the moving tube, the three occupants shuffled around uncomfortably, each reaching out for a rail, or the smooth (and not particularly helpful) sides of the glass wall to hold onto. Whatever degree of motion sickness any of them were feeling, it became profoundly worse with the sudden shift of direction.

"How is the weather up there? Do you like fish? Do you like cake? Do you like fish-shaped biological waste? Would you prefer radioactive waste? May I kindly have your Porsche? It's a very nice Porsche. Thank you for the very generous deposit of your Porsche at the front door of my residence."

The elevator continued its plummet down. Inside, the two humans (and alien) stayed silent, each attempting to keep their own thoughts to their own individual selves. But to say they were successful in their secrecy would be, in fact, the very opposite of what had actually happened in that small space of an elevator.

Her brow scrunched up and her jaw gaping open in invariable confusion and surprise, Alyx stared blankly up towards the empty white ceiling of the glass construct.
Immediately unable to decide what to make of'the monotone announcer, she continued to stare, her face flipping through a series of alternating grimaces and brow raising gazes. Had this been any other time, she may have taken the machine-voiced woman's words as 'funny' – maybe even touching on the rim of 'hilarious'. But now, in the situation of dangerous no return she was supposedly in, she didn't know what to think. This robot (if it was one) was definitely playing with them. It had to be.

Uriah's thoughts were following a somewhat different pattern, though he showed it in a much less obvious manner than the rest of his comrades. His arms folded and leaning quietly on the glass walls of the elevator, he tapped his fingers, idly waiting for the 'pleasantries' - something he was not accustomed to within his own culture - to end.

Igor on the other hand, hadn't yet lifted hisgazefrom the ground.

"…And thank you for your voluntary deposit of all your jewelries in my right hand. May I inquire to your name?"

At that, the administrative voice came to a sudden stop, an almost expectant silence waiting after the unexpected question.

"Wait." Alyx's head shot up. "Our names? Are we supposed to answer that?" she asked, her eyes burrowing in suspicion.

"Affirmative. Of all past rhetorical questions, the last one was non-rhetorical. This question is mandatory for all arriving test subjects," the voice replied, its monotone, robotic tone of voice still unchanging.

At this, Alyx looked to her teammates, somewhat unsure of what to do next. On one hand, there was the possible danger of them being associated with Black Mesa spies - but on the other hand, there may as well be no actual danger at all. In fact, she was the only one in a somewhat direct association with Black Mesa, but from what Doug had said earlier, Aperture wasn't too kind to anyone near the said facility.

Nonetheless, Uriah spoke up first, unknowing of Alyx's worries.

"…I am known by the title of 'Uriah'. It is pleasing to meet you," he rumbled, in his usual, vortiguant particular expression.

Igor recited his name next, an odd stutter following his still shaky voice.

"I-I'm Igor. Igor Karlsson."

And then soon enough, it was Alyx's turn. Grimacing slightly before she raised her ever-confident voice, she said, "My name's Alyx Vance." She ended promptly.

A small moment of nothingness followed, the whirring and odd whooshing of the elevator they were in the only sounds interfering with the blanket of silence coming after their reply to the mandatory question.

"The Aperture Enrichment Facilities thanks you for your contributions," the robot finally said, its voice booming within the small elevator.

"In a few minutes we will be arriving the first test chamber. As I am required by my protocols to keep interactions during testing at a minimal degree, this will be your final chance to express any inquiries or concerns. Remember: the Aperture Enrichment Facilities are not liable for any loss of valuable belongings, limbs, organs, or lives."

Again Alyx looked to her teammates, whom this time each responded quietly with a nod of their own. With a steady voice, Alyx tested the most immediate question in each of their minds;

"We've heard of an 'accident' with certain 'robots' occurring here some time ago. How did the Aperture Facilities become such a ruin?"

At this, the robot became silent for a while, a mournful, yet somehow still robotic voice following in its place.

"Yes, there was an unfortunate accident with neurotoxin that had occurred here in the past. I am pained to say that neurotoxic gas previously used to rid of genetically mutated mantis-men had once leaked through both the offices and testing facilities, causing the multiple deaths of both scientists and test-subjects alike. Sadly, the neurotoxin was beyond my power of control during the time, and I had no power to stop it."

"But aren't you the administrative figure of this laboratory?" Alyx questioned, her expression betraying her disbelief. "Shouldn't you have had the power to control the air-changing facilities of the enrichment center, or at least the doors to block neurotoxic gas from spreading?"

"Affirmative. I did, in fact, have control over the doors that blocked the pathways of the neurotoxin. Unfortunately, that was not enough for me to stop the spread of gas."

"What do you mean?"

"Because I had to choose who to save," the voice replied, its robotic voice now eerily calm.

"And the weight of the moral calculations overheated my core, corrupting my system. I had blacked out for an approximate of three hours. By the time I awoke, it was too late to save anyone but those still within cryosleep."

"So you malfunctioned," Alyx said flatly. "That makes sense."

"Sadly, yes. But with heightened control of the facility in my newly-configured system, I was able to restore the facility to some degree."

"Newly configured?" Alyx raised a suspicious brow. "How did that happen?"

"Originally, several cores were attached to me, restricting my productivity and control. With the breakdown of my central core during the accident, my other, emotive-centric cores fizzed out, allowing me to delete them from my central system. Alternating some words, you could say that I was essentially 'freed', from my moral burdens during the incident."

"Ah, now I understand," Alyx said, unfolding her arms and placing them on her hips. "So your central system couldn't handle the moral weight of the situation, causing your breakdown. This in turn caused other, minor programs to fizz, allowing for the extra control of the main system to dominate the facility in the place of the scientists afterwards. This makes things a lot clearer. Thanks-" She paused, another thought occurring in her head. "-What's your name again?"

"I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. They used to call me by the title of 'GLaDOS'," the robotic voice seemed to say slowly, seductively.

"I am pleased to serve you."

And with that, the descent of the elevator suddenly slowed to a stop, its once-dark surroundings lightening up, displaying a rounded landing room surrounded by giant screens.

"Initiate testing."

It was only until they'd reached the fourth test chamber when the talking began.

So far they had only had to deal with cube and simple portal-based puzzles, giving them a clear insight into the capacity and meaning of Aperture-based portal technology. And it would've been absolutely true to say that they were impressed.

In fact, a certain someone stayed a small way apart from the rest, her mouth agape as she stared on to the unfamiliar technology.

"How the hell was this invented 20 years ago?" she questioned with wide eyes.

Uriah nodded in agreement. "I am also very impressed by the technical prowess of the Aperture Science facilities."

Before the group, two odd-looking devices sat on pedestals, dominating the central space of the otherwise empty test chamber. Igor was the first to pick one of the devices up, quietly examining the smooth white machine as he rolled it around in his hands.

"…What's this?"

"That before you is the finest creation of Aperture Science - the Aperture Handheld Portal Device. Though it is still in beta, it is undoubtedly one of our most ingenious creations. This is the primary device you will be using for testing, and it will challenge the limits of portal technology; a science completed only by the prowess of our Aperture scientists," GLaDOS boomed overhead, the robot's voice brimming with a mechanical pride.

At this Alyx made a face, her face flushing.

Sure, it was true that Black Mesa had failed to complete their studies on portal technology and artificial intelligence while they were able to. And yes, it was true that their current technology was significantly more 'simple' compared to that of Aperture's creations. But that didn't mean that they were bad scientists, right? At least not any worse than Aperture's own, she thought.

Her dad worked at Black Mesa. There was no way their science was any less competent than Aperture's.

"Due to your 'special' circumstance as a trio, you will be required to have at least two devices in your possession. Testing will be individual, but will become progressively cooperative as the subjects go along."

"Understood." Uriah replied monotonously as he eyed the ceiling.

"Enjoy testing, and remember: bring your daughter to work day is the perfect time to have her tested."

With this the robotic voice cut off, leaving only the ambient buzzing of the facility in its place.

"Well that was quick." Alyx whispered as she picked up the second gun, fitting it neatly into her hands. "I thought it'd take longer."

"Yes, we are very fortunate." Uriah nodded in reply. "But come now, we must hurry to the next chamber." He nudged Alyx as they turned to leave. "I feel there may be something very important that we have missed."

Uriah was right.

It didn't take long to figure out what it was; news from Doug, the Aperture scientist. He had yet to give any sign he knew they were underground - or alive, even. The electronic wristwatches they wore were as silent as the facility that surrounded them, spare the odd announcements from GLaDOS now and then.

The team, to say, was lost.

They had so far completed four tests with the Aperture Handheld Portal Device (which they had taken to calling the 'Portal gun'), but had no clue on how to get out of the facility. Before long, fatigue overtook them.

Panting and tired from the constant gravitational abuse on their legs, (falling was one thing; getting rocketed out of a poorly positioned portal onto a jumping platform was another thing completely) they'd stopped to rest by one of the testing area-connecting elevator rooms to catch their breath.

It was then when the buzzing started.

"Finally! It was about time you gave us a call." Alyx said towards the small wristwatch screen as she massaged her elbows and stretched.

"I'm sorry," the man muttered behind the cackling screen. "I got a little…caught up in my own thoughts."

At this, Igor looked up from the ground he was focusing on, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"No matter," Alyx replied, tapping her foot. "But for now we need some pointers to get out of here. And we need them fast. With the fatigue we've already experienced, we're not sure how long we can hold out."

"I understand," the man said quietly. "A friend knows- I know that there's a temporary break in the chambers during chamber 14, which shouldn't be far from your current position. Get there, and hide behind the loose panels located within the test chamber. You shouldn't miss it. It's a safe haven from Her eyes, and we should be able to talk safely beyond her range of hearing."

"Any exit?" Alyx asked hopefully, a small gleam in her eyes. "It shouldn't be that far off, right? We've gone pretty far – god knows how much time this is taking us."

"That's the thing," Doug said carefully, avoiding the woman's gaze. "If you want to escape, you'll have to tread carefully. And with that I mean; you can't expose your true intentions, Uriah's 'talents', and definitely not us talking. Because as much as I'd like to say that where you are is safe, I can't. With Her constantly upgrading the facility, I wouldn't be surprised if she had eyes somewhere in there already."

At this statement Alyx and Uriah looked around, their eyes tracing carefully over each screen (and their gaps) within the circular room.

"I do not detect any cameras," the alien finally said, his voice rumbling low.

"Me neither." Alyx nodded towards Uriah in agreement. "If anything, this place has no microphones and cameras – it's the perfect resting place, and we've been using it as such. I see no reason why we need to move any further than we are now to get an exit location."

"…Suit yourself," Doug replied, his face twisting into a small scowl. "But there are screens here. And I can't tell anyone of an exit until you guys move to a secure location – without any live mechanics."

And with that the feed cut off, leaving the team alone in silence.

"…Great." Alyx sighed, lowering her wrist. "Just perfect. What a time to be paranoid." She muttered, looking to her teammates as she saw Igor's face pale for the second time.

"Well, go we must, as we have no other option," Uriah mumbled, unaware of Igor's change in condition.

"…Yeah. You're right," Alyx replied quietly, slowly facing back to the alien. "Right now we have more things to worry about than Doug's paranoia."

[Chamber 14]

The symbols glowed brightly on a pristine white screen, the bright lights behind the lighted sign blinkering just a little bit.

"This must be the place," Alyx said as she stretched, cracking her neck lightly.

Before the trio was an unnaturally clean and white chamber – within it, two lasers and an elevated space in the middle of a room, on which a radio sat, its speakers blaring the cheery anthem of Aperture. A semi-wide room separated by glass on one corner where a button-holding stand lay, and a locked exit door before them, the chamber followed the pattern of all other chambers. The door behind them locked upon their entering the room, a loud 'click' following in its place.

Pristine, white, and even elegantly designed. But unlike what Rattmann had told them, there were no seams to be seen.

"The guy better be right," Alyx muttered as the trio set to work on solving the puzzle, quickly finding that the solution behind the concealed button.

The question behind the chamber – the mystery that bound them to that particular room – was easily solved. But to follow their real objective, to find something out of the ordinary, was not.

It was only when Uriah said he heard something that the others stopped and listened.

He was right.

Faintly, from behind the multitude of metal, glass, or whatever separated them from the next room, they could hear the faint sound of calming music, much unlike the cheery anthem that blared at them from just beyond their feet.

Setting to work on destroying the walls of the chamber, Alyx used the Discouragement Redirection Cube to cut a hole through the thin metal outer layer of the wall, in the direction of the unfamiliar sound. Astoundingly, it worked.

"What are you doing?" the alarmed voice of GLaDOS sounded as the wall was carved through, revealing a small opening into the next room.

"Stop that. You're breaking my facility."

"I'm sorry GLaDOS," Alyx whispered, setting down the cube. "But this is absolutely necessary."

Into the hole the others rushed in, closing the panel behind them as a camera urgently swerved to their direction.

Inside the small space between rooms was a mess.

Previously hidden vines and other vegetation covered the ceiling and the top of the walls, holding together what was left of already degenerating ceiling. By the end of the room was a small opening to the outside of the test chambers, where the trio could see nothing but a dark and seemingly endless void beneath. Metal and concrete debris littered the ground, the messiness of the room accented by a large, haphazardly aligned collection of cans that were labeled, 'beans'.

But of everything in that odd space of a room, what struck the team most was the walls. The chaotically drawn graffiti that surrounded them, and the small, rusted Aperture radio by the corner of the room.

"What is this place?" Alyx questioned with wide eyes.

Beside her, Uriah had noticed the small radio as it had just sputtered and died off, and was trying (without much luck) to turn it back on.

Igor on the other hand, was (not so calmly) studying the graffiti, his brow scrunched up in confusion.

"Sucker's luck?" he muttered to himself.

On the wall before him was a chaotic image of what seemed like a man holding his face in his hands with books (or was it files?) flying over the man's head. Below the image, the words 'sucker's luck', 'exile', and 'too many variables' were scribbled upon the wall, embodying the sense of confusion and insanity the man felt as he viewed it.

That graffiti gave him the chills.

"…Ah, by the order of the Nihilanth. Condemn the electronic that must work with the assistance of a Vortiguant," Uriah mumbled as he gave up trying to turn the radio on manually, instead conjuring a green ball of energy and pumping it into the small radio. "There it is."

Slowly the radio sputtered back to life, a quiet song playing as the small radio struggled to spit out the cackling sound.

…Exile, it takes your mind, again
You got suckers luck. Have you given up?
Does it feel like a trial?
Did you fall for the same empty answers again?…

"Huh, that must be the song we heard," Alyx remarked plainly. "I wonder if this graffiti has anything to do with it?"

"…It's the lyrics of the song." Igor muttered in response. "Or at least, that's what it seems to be."

"Well, either way we've got to contact Rattmann," Alyx replied, turning the small knobs of her wrist watch device. "It's about time we got out of here."

It may have been a millennia before they finally got into contact with Rattmann.

On the other side of the transmitter, within the otherwise safe perimeters of the white forest base, Doug waited nervously, his right thumb nail degrading quickly under yellowing, haggardly teeth. Yes, it had been long enough.

When the call finally came through, Doug heaved a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing as he answered the transmission.

"We're in." Alyx's face flickered on the large computer screen, slight static obscuring Doug's view of the woman. "Now we need to know a way out."

"Yes, yes." Doug nodded eagerly, showing his willingness to comply. "Of course. I see you've reached your destination soundly – it shouldn't be too hard to get out of there, then."

Alyx nodded, her expression plaintive. "We haven't met much resistance – from anything in here, really. I still don't understand why we need these gasmasks and grenades."

"Well," Doug shrugged. "Nothing like being paranoid. Right?"

Beside Alyx, Igor turned his eyes away, biting his lip.

"Well, either way we need to get out of this place," Alyx said as she folded her arms. "And now would be a good time as ever to get started on our escape."

"Okay, I got it," Doug replied, feeling a nudge from his right – where his companion cube sat beside him.

"Just follow these directions," it whispered, making sure it made itself clear to Doug, and Doug alone.

"There's a catwalk underneath that chamber."
"There's a catwalk underneath the chamber you're in," Doug repeated, steadying his voice.

"From the hole in the wall you should be able to fall straight onto it."
"From that opening over there," Doug said as he pointed towards the wall behind them, "you should be able to fall straight onto it."

For a second, Alyx stared at the man incredulously, her eyes widening in surprise. "Wait a second, what do you mean by fall?"

"Oh, it's just 20 meters down."
"Yeah, it's just 20 metersdow- wait what?" Doug's head shot up in surprise.

"So, what, you expect us to fall 20 meters down, directly onto a catwalk?" Alyx raised her arms in irritation. "While at risk of falling into a deep, unknown void? This is bullshit. Completely ridiculous."

"Okay, okay, look, I'm sorry," Doug said pleadingly as he raised his hands in defeat. "I just thought – I just thought you guys had been given the anti-gravity shoes – you know, a device that allows you to fall thousands of meters without getting hurt? Um, it's hard to explain…"

"Anti-gravity – anti-gravity what, I'm sorry?" Alyx seethed, disbelief clouding her eyes. "Doug, I'm sorry to break your little bubble, but if something like 'anti-gravity shoes' actually existed; if there was a device that allowed you to fall thousands of meters without getting hurt, that's something I'd like to see!" she scoffed. "Look, I'm not sure about you, but I have a small troop under my direct control. And right now, I am responsible for their survival, and the safe completion of this objective. "

Doug cringed instinctively, as Alyx's voice gradually rose. This was not supposed to happen.

"Now look here, Mr. Rattmann," Alyx thundered at the camera, her teammates looking to each other in understandable alarm. "All we've been doing is listening to your ridiculous demands – we've avoided GLaDOS like the plague, even though she's just a normal, incapable robot, we've avoided every goddamned camera you've asked us to, and we've come this far just to help you feel safe about talking to us!" Alyx exhaled noisily, her breath seething out through her teeth in anger. "All we need is a goddamned exit! A real one, not just some imaginary bullshit you came up with a second ago!"

"Alright, alright, just calm down," Doug sighed, his own patience wearing thin. "Trust me, everything I say to you is real. GLaDOS is a threat, whether you may think so now or not. Don't go near her, whatever you do."

"Yes, and?" Alyx said impatiently.

"…There's an escape pod just beneath her chamber," he said, his eyes gradually avoiding Alyx's silent glare. "If you go indirectly, there is the possibility you could reach it without any harm. But…"

"But what?" Alyx prompted, her eyes narrowing in anticipation.

"It's going to take 20 more chambers from your location before you can reach it directly."

Alyx scowled, immediately looking down to massage the bridge of her nose. "Any other good news you have yet to tell us about?"

"That's the only way out."

As Alyx raised her head to go off on another tandem, Igor reached a hand from behind her, quietly tapping the woman on her shoulder.

"…There's something I have to tell you about."

Finally, Igor broke.

The more he listened to their conversation, the more he became disillusioned by Doug Rattmann's sanity and stability as a guide.

Of course, he trusted Alyx more than he trusted Doug – as a doctor, he had no choice.

When Alyx finally turned to the camera, her eyes wide, she said nothing at first.

Then she blurted out, "You're schizophrenic?!"

At this Doug groaned, his hand palming him straight in the face. "Oh please don't tell me this is going to be a problem."

"Of course this is a problem!" she almost yelled, exasperated. "Ugh, we should've never trusted you!" She inhaled, attempting to calm herself. "…We've come to an agreement anyway. We're not going to rely on you any longer."

"Hey, wait a minute!"

"Goodbye, Doug Rattmann." Alyx waved towards the small transmitter as she headed towards the opening they had entered through earlier. "Whether you like it or not, we are going, our own way."

At this she shut the transmitter, minimizing Doug's objections into a single, small beep.

Transmission Ended_

They had had enough.

As the trio exited the small entrance, GlaDOS swiveled towards the camera screen, her optic narrowing thinly.

They were going to pay for what they did to her facility, sooner or later.

"…In his well-known thought experiment, Schrödinger came to the final conclusion that cats liked small, secluded spaces. Just like boxes. Filled with deadly neurotoxin. I didn't know that applied to humans- and aliens as well."

Below her, the woman named Alyx rolled her eyes – a very human sign of disbelief and surprise.

"GLaDOS," the human said, staring straight into the optic of the camera. "We want to see your main chamber."

For a second, not a word came out of GLaDOS' speakers, her surprise momentarily too large for her act to conceal.

"Well, well…"

If she could, she would've smiled.

"You will be my very first guests in a long time, I suppose."

Gears rolled into place as the test chamber creaked, just a little bit.

"And I am honored. So on my artificial life, I swear,"

A tube slid unto an opening above the test chamber and clicked, the trio finally noticing and moving around in uncertainty.

"…That I will make you regret this."

Let there be darkness.