Songs for Spock
A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings.
I'm Not the One
I'm Not the One is a song by 3OH!3.
For Jim
The Acadamy, Mess hall
"Hey Olivia, could you write me a song? I want something to remind me of you when I'm feeling down and you're not there."
"Why does it have to be a song?"
"Because you're the best at them, of course."
"I'll see what I can do."
So Jim wanted a song… He must have been looking at my PADD again. Or maybe I was just broadcasting my intentions and he was picking them up.
One week later, Student Dorms
I left a PADD out on the kitchenette counter, right where he always looks first thing when he enter his dorm. I hid in a shadowed alcove, watching him. He looked at the PADD and picked it up. He read the note on it once, twice, three times as the grin slid off of his face, and then clicked on the sound bit that was attached. A piano started playing. My song for him.
"You're way too young
To be broken
You're way too young to fall apart
You're way too young to play these games
But you better start
But you better start
This is when it starts
From the beating of your heart
Til the streetlamps talk to you
Jumping off of the edge
Oversleep in your head
Everything's turning dark to you
I went to pick up the parts
The doctor's hiding the charts
He won't let me see the inside of you
It's on the tip on my tongue
You know you're way too young
To have someone lie to you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
You'd better find somebody else
To get a hold of yourself
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
You're way too young to be broken
You're way too young to fall apart
You're way too young to play these games
But you better start
But you better start
It was the second I lit
Your first stick of it
I forget who you used to be
And I bit my lip
The second you sipped
The poison that was mixed for me
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
You better find somebody else
To get a hold of yourself
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
Drink the poison lightly
Cause there are deeper and darker things than you
I know
Cause I've been there too
I know it must seem frightening
To have the world fall apart
Right under your shoes
Trust me
You've made it through
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
You better find somebody else
To get a hold of yourself
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you
I'm not the one
I'm not the one
Who wants to hurt you-."
Jim had closed his eyes, looking defeated.
"I'm not an innocent, Olivia. You know that. Dammit. Where did I go wrong. Where did I go wrong!?" His voice rang with frustration. I came out of my hiding spot.
"I know you're not an innocent, James." I said, startling him from the spot where he'd slid down on the ground. "But you… I'm not the right fit for you. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm going to inadvertently if I stay. We cannot continue our romantic relationship. To do so would be-"
"Don't you dare say it, Olivia. Don't you dare say it. I can't- We should- Look, I don't care that Bones disapproves. He disapproves of ALL of my partners. But I-I think I love you, Olivia. Please, please don't do this to me. You can even look into my mind if you want, if you need to prove it. Just- I-"
My eyes filled with pain. "Jim, what you feel is not love. It never was. I care for you deeply, Jim, and that will never change. But what you feel for me and what I feel for you is not true love. Not the kind that will last. It- I am sorry it this comes out wrong, but I am unused to having to express myself with words to describe feelings. Jim, I would like to continue our relationship- But I'd like to change the nature of it. I-I would know if-if you were the one for me b-by now. And-And I'm sorry, but I didn't want to lead you on! Can…Can we please change the nature of our relationship to one of friendship? We can even have sex, if you like. But… But I cannot bear to lead you to a false assumption, that this-us- would work out. I care for you too much to do that to you."
I wait anxiously for his response as he runs a hand through his hair and stands up, leaving his PADD portfolio on the ground. He blows out a breath before he starts. "I… OK, OK, I get it. I'm not gonna be your final romantic relationship. I'm glad you told me. But… Can we be friends that hold hands, too? Cause I'm not quite ready to move on, yet. Is…Is that OK? Can you do that?" He barely waits for my nod before moving on. "Good, because… Because I don't want us to be on bad terms, and I would like to be plain old regular friends one day, but I don't want us to just end suddenly. Because then it would be awkward, and awkwardness isn't very conductive to friends. Or even friends with benefits."
"I think I can do that, Jim." I beam at him. "So, does this mean I can write more songs about you?"
We laugh (and have wild, crazy alien sex) long into the night.
Fin
A/N I'm Not the One is by 3OH!3 and all rights are to them. I do not own and did not write or even perform the song, although I did fiddle with the lyrics a little bit. Relationship building… Was this OOC? For Jim? I think I've been reading too much K/S where they get all mushy… Add to that the fact that I've never actually been in a relationship, and I hope I did okay. I know that the ending is not what would really happen (probably), but the girl is of a species other than Human, incase you missed it. 3OH!3 is TOTALLY Jim- flavored, right? This song isn't actually like most of their stuff…
Have I mentioned this yet? I'd like to take requests, both for songs and for characters. Even songs for characters and what light you'd like to see the character in (For instance, I have a friend who can't stand Jim, even if I can't see the reasoning behind it. I still plan to write her a one shot, though). So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll look at any viewpoint and consider any song.