Big thank you to Kewltim2spar and Just4me! Their reviews are the ONLY reason this chapter got posted!
"I'm just saying why do I have to be a burglar?" Emi sighed exasperatedly from her pony as the company traveled along. "It's sounds terribly ill mannered."
"We just thought it would be more precise." Dori shrugged.
"You could call yourself 'Expert treasure hunter' if you prefer." Bofur suggested happily. Of course he said it happily. Bofur was always happy, as Emi had quickly discovered.
"Expert treasure hunter…" the hobbit lass tried it out on her tongue. "I like it."
"I don't see what's wrong with burglar." Gloin grumbled.
"It's fine and all." Emi nodded. "But I'd rather not be lumped in the same category at Nori." The dwarves let out hearty laughs as the fore mentioned dwarf turned back to look at her, one eyebrow raised. "No offense intended." The hobbit added hastily. A content silence fell upon the company as laughter died away. It lingered for a while, each dwarf in his own thoughts. Emi, once again, thought of home. She had two chapters left of a book waiting at home, that she might never get to read. The hobbit could not help but feel slight disappointment at this. After a long time of traveling in silence, Emi spoke up.
"Is that…" she peered over the tree tops. "Is that it? The Lonely Mountain?" all heads turned to follow her gaze. Dwalin let out a loud laugh.
"No, lass." He shook his head. "That's the beginning of the Misty Mountains."
"There's still a long way to go before we reach Erebor." Balin nodded.
"But we've been traveling for weeks!" Emi squeaked. She almost thought she heard Thorin snort from the front, but it was lost in the chuckles of the others. Gandalf looked back at her, a twinkle of amusement in his eye. Emi didn't find there to be anything amusing about the situation. The company continued on until they came upon a clearing with a ruined farmhouse.
"We'll make camp here tonight." Thorin announced, dismounting. "Fili, Kili, mind the ponies. Make sure you stay with them." Gandalf was already off his pony and wandering through the ruins as the rest of the company began unloading. "Oin, Gloin, get a fire going."
"Right you are." Gloin nodded as he began scanning the ground for firewood.
"I think it would be wiser to move on." Gandalf's worried voice called out. Thorin walked over to him and the two began conversing heatedly.
"Here lass," Balin called over to the hobbit. "Hold this for a second. Thank you." He handed Emi the straps of his pack, which she held as he pulled provisions out. The back of the grey wizard leaving hurriedly caught her eye.
"Gandalf? Is everything all right?" the wizard did not reply. "Where are you going?"
"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." The wizard growled, not turning around.
"Who's that?" Emi asked in confusion.
"Myself, Mr. Baggins!" the wizard barked. "I've had enough dwarves for one day!" and he left. Emi frowned. Mr. Baggins? Thorin's voice sounded over the quiet.
"Come on Bombur, we're hungry!" the large dwarf nodded before making his way over to the fire.
"Is he coming back?" Emi asked Balin. The old dwarf just shrugged in reply. The sun dipped below the trees quickly as a simple stew began bubbling over the fire. The hobbit was quiet as the dwarves carried on around her. She kept glancing about, looking for the return of Gandalf. She wished desperately to talk to him about what he had said before. About Mr. Baggins… Did he mean Bilbo Baggins? What would such a respectable hobbit have with a wizard?
"Emi!" Bofur's voice roused her from her thoughts. "Take these to the lads, will you? They're probably starving." The hobbit nodded and took the two bowls from the dwarf's hands before heading over towards the woods in which the ponies had been left to graze. She quickly spotted the figures of Fili and Kili standing stalk still, staring out in front of them.
"What's got you both in a fix?" she asked, walking over to the blank faced dwarves.
"We're supposed to be looking out for the ponies." Kili started.
"Only we've encountered a… slight problem." Fili added.
"We had sixteen."
"Now there's fourteen." Emi glared at them harshly. They both cast her an ashamed glance and started forward.
"Daisy and Bungo are missing." Kili looked around as the three wandered through the trees. They stopped in front of an uprooted tree.
"That's it." Emi glared. "We're telling Thorin."
"No, no, no." Kili shook his head. "Not a good idea."
"Aye," Fili nodded looking at his brother. "Best not to worry him. We thought, as our official burglar, you might take a look in to it."
"Why me?" the hobbit made a face of disgust. "You're the ones who lost the ponies." The dwarves ignored her.
"Hey! There's a light!" Fili spied through the trees. The brothers crouched behind a log, followed quickly by Emi. A faint light of a fire crackled in the distance as rumbling voices sounded.
"What on earth is that?" the hobbit's jaw dropped.
"Trolls." Kili's eyes hardened. All three sprung up. Emi began running back towards camp, then turned to see the other two running towards the light. She heaved an annoyed sigh before turning back around and hurrying after them. She ducked quickly behind a tree, however, as large foot flattened a plant just a few feet to her right. The dwarven brothers watched from the tree across from her. Emi looked around the trunk to see a huge loathsome gray creature thumping along, a pony under each arm.
"Myrtle and Minty!" she hissed. "What do they want with them?"
"Supper probably." Fili shrugged. Emi's eyes widened.
"We've got to do something then!" both dwarves looked at her with equally wide eyes.
"Yes." Kili nodded. "You should!" He stepped around her, quickly releasing her hold on one of the bowls. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small-"
"What? No!" the hobbit hissed.
"They'll never see you." Kili insisted placatingly.
"I am not-"
"It's perfectly safe! We'll be right behind you." Kili nodded again. Fili appeared at her other side, taking the other bowl out of her hands.
"If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a brown owl, once like a barn owl." And the blonde haired dwarf gave her a little shove forward. She stumbled a bit, muttering to herself.
"No, you don't understand! I'm not a burglar! I don't even know how to hoot-" she turned around to find herself alone. She stared back at the fire ahead of her and gulped. "I'm not a burglar." She repeated to herself. "But I am good at talking…" the tiny hobbit started forward, the booming voices growing louder as she approached.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow!" one of them grumbled.
"Quit yer griping!" the largest hollered. "These ain't sheep! This is west nags!"
"I don't like horse." The third sniffed. "Never ave. Not enough fat on them" Emi found what she was looking for. A large hollow stump.
"Well, it's better than that leathery old farmer. All skin and bone he was! I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth."
"Pardon me good trolls!" a voice echoed around them. The large creatures jumped in alarm. "But I think we have taken some of my ponies! If you don't mind, I would appreciate it most greatly if I could have them back."
"Who's there?" the largest one demanded.
"Is it an evil spirit Tom?" the scrawny one asked.
"Don't know Bill." The large one replied, looking around suspiciously. "What are you?" he asked loudly.
"I am… most assuredly an evil spirit my good trolls!" the voice replied again. The two smallest ones whimpered slightly.
"Naw, evil spirits don't have nice manners like that." The largest one challenged. Emi cursed inwardly.
"Be that as it may, I am what I am. Return the ponies to where you found them." The voice echoed again.
"Not until you show yourself." The cook hollered, becoming a little bolder.
"No thank you!" the voice replied. "Release the ponies or I will have to use my magic on you!" this caused Bill to whimper again. But Tom just laughed.
"Come on Bert." The largest motioned to the cook. "Maybe there's more on the menu than sheep…"
"Don't Move!" the voice echoed in alarm. Both trolls halted midstride. "If you move any further I'll… I'll turn you all into toads!... and then squish you!" Emi added after forethought. The trolls narrowed their eyes suspiciously.
"Why should we believe you?" Bert asked slowly.
"Because… if you don't you'll spend the rest of your short lives hopping around on all fours!" the voice said loudly. It took a moment for the trolls to fully understand the threat.
"He's bluffing." Tom snorted.
"No I'm not!" the voice squeaked.
"He is too!" Tom hollered again. "I've never heard of no evil spirit owning ponies! Look in the bushes! He's here somewhere!" Emi squeaked as all three trolls hurried to the edge of the clearing and began pushing aside vegetation hungrily. The hobbit scrambled to her feet and shot back towards the dwarves' camp. But a large, grubby hand grabbed her firmly around the middle. Her breath rushed out of her lungs as her furry feet were lifted off the ground. She found herself right in front a huge, ugly, face. It grinned broadly.
"Blimey Bert!" it breathed foul air into her face. "Look what I've caught!" Emi struggled for breath, her ribs aching horribly, as the other two trolls bounded over. Excitement rolled off of them like little boys who had just caught a strange bug.
"What is it?" Bert looked at her quizzically.
"Lumme, if I knows!" Tom peered as well. "What are yer?"
"I'm a bur… a hobbit." Emi gasped. "Please put me down! I can't breath!"
"What's a burrahobbit?" Bert asked shrewdly, grabbing her out of Bill's hand and holding her upside-down by the foot. It wasn't much better, but a least she could breath. Which she did. Deeply. Even though the air stank horribly of troll. Of course, while she was breathing, she forgot to answer their question, and they asked another. This one, a bit less pleasant.
"Can we cook it?" Bert wondered.
"We can try!" Bill licked his lips.
"It wouldn't make more than a mouthful." Tom shook his head. "Not when it's skinned and boned."
"Maybe there's more of him about, and we can make a pie!" Bert smiled toothily.
"Are there any more of you lot sneaking about here where they shouldn't?" Tom demanded.
"Ye-no…" Emi corrected herself quickly. "No, none at all."
"What do you mean?" a troll asked.
"Just what I said!" Emi squeaked. "Oh, please don't cook me! I'm a marvelous cook myself, you see. I cook better than I cook, if you get my meaning. I'll cook you a lovely dinner as long as you don't eat me for supper!"
"Not until you tell us what you mean by ye-no." Tom's eyes narrowed.
"There's no one else!" Emi cried frantically. "There are no others here at all! I'm on my own!"
"It's lying." Bill smiled. "Hold its toes over the fire! Make it squeal!" But no sooner had the words come out of his mouth, than a crashing came from the bushes and the troll let out a yelp as steel cut into his leg.
"Drop her!" Kili yelled at the three large trolls. Emi started to cry out in joy, but stopped as her ribs stung painfully.
"You what?" Tom asked.
"I said…" the dwarf repeated, twirling his sword around. "Drop her." The trolls snarled at him and they tossed Emi through the air straight at the dwarf in an attempt to catch him defenseless. And, sure enough, Kili quickly dropped his sword to catch the hobbit flying towards him. But before the trolls could nab them both, twelve more angry dwarves came flying out of the bushes, war cries shouting and weapons brandished high. Kili quickly unburied himself and joined the fray as over a dozen dwarves began hacking away at the large brutes. Emi looked around quickly amidst the confusion, looking for a quick escape. Then her eyes caught sight of the four rearing ponies on the far side. She frowned. Then drew her eyebrows together in fierce determination. Grabbing one of the trolls' discarded weapons as she went, Emi made her way over to the makeshift pen and began sawing on the ropes. The ponies had begun to stream out quickly before her endeavors were noticed. A strangled cry leapt from her throat as she again felt large hands grab her from behind. The dwarves regrouped on one side of the clearing in confusion as the trolls huddled on the other. The company looked around in confusion, as one by one, all eyes fell on Emi. Thorin's jaw hardened.
"Emi!" Kili cried in alarm.
"No!" Thorin shouted at him, forcing him to stay back. Tom smiled triumphantly as he and Bert held onto the squirming figure.
"Lay down yer arms," he instructed. "Or we'll rip hers off!" Silence filled the clearing as the dwarves looked from Emi's frightened face, to Thorin's. Their leader was obviously considering his options. At last, he planted his sword firmly in the ground. Tom's grin widened as the rest of the dwarves did the same. They'd be eating well tonight.
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