Okay, yeah, I know it's been forever! Well, I got it out here finally! So enjoy!
Emi was certain that there was something wrong with her now. After she had been shoved so rudely in one of the putrid sacks like most of the other dwarves, her ribs had begun to throb painfully. Probably bruised.
"Don't bother cooking em!" Bill complained. "Let's just sit on em one by one, and squash them into jelly!"
Bert disagreed loudly. "They should be sautéed! With a sprinkle of sage." Bill considered this for a moment.
"That does sound quite nice." He agreed at last.
"Never mind the seasoning!" Tom hollered at the other two. "We ain't got all night. Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone!" Emi's eyes lit up at this. She was honestly surprised she had heard it at all over the dwarfs' ramblings. The hobbit fought back the nausea from the smell and the pain and wriggled to her feet, her teeth gritted hard to keep from crying out in pain.
"Wait!" she cried hopping over towards the trolls. "You are making a terrible mistake." A dwarf hollered to her that it was a wasted effort, but she ignored him.
"Well, if it isn't little miss evil spirit." Bert rolled his eyes. "Do tell us, why are we making such a huge mistake?"
"Uh, I meant…" Emi stammered, "With the cooking… remember, I said I was a good cook."
"What about the cooking?" Bert narrowed his eyes.
"W-well… Have you got a look at them? They're filthy! I wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole! And you're going to eat them like that?" the hobbit winced as the dwarves began hollering angrily at her.
"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" Tom shouted at her.
"Shut up," Bert said to the other "And let the… flurgaburburrahobbit talk." Emi nodded her head graciously.
"Yes… as I was saying… the secret to cooking dwarf…" She bit her lip and glanced over at the dwarves in sacks, looking for ideas. They all glared at her angrily.
"Yes? Come on." Bert prodded her.
"It's… um…" Thorin's stormy blue eyes bore straight into her head, evidently full of hate.
"Tell us the secret!" Bert prodded further.
"Yes! I'm telling you! Stop interrupting me please!" Emi sighed exasperatedly. To her surprise, Bert fell silent. But he still watched her intently. "The secret… to cooking dwarf… is… to…" she glanced over at the dwarves again. "Poke their eyes out!" she decided at last! The dwarves gaped at her. The trolls look confused. "And then, smear it all over them before you eat! They're much tastier that way." Emi nodded enthusiastically. Bert grinned widely.
"Tom, get me the ladle." Her said, reaching his hand out for it. The dwarves roared in outrage.
"If I get you, you little-" Gloin threatened.
"I won't forget that!" Dwalin said, pointing at her before her turned to the other side of the spit again. Emi's smile fell as she realized what had just happened.
"What a load of rubbish!" Tom shouted over the dwarves. "I've eaten plenty with their eyes still in! Scuff em, I say! Boot and all!" Emi's eye caught the sight of a gray hat, but it disappeared quickly behind a bush. Was her mind playing tricks on her? It was hard to tell anything as little spots of light began swimming before her eyes. She tried her best to stay upright as the throbbing only continued.
"He's right!" Bill agreed. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf!" His massive hand grabbing Bombur and held the large dwarf over his open mouth. "Nice and crunchy!"
"No wait! That one's no good!" Emi cried out quickly, momentarily forgetting the pain. "He's diseased!" Both troll and dwarf turned to look at her. "Yes, he's got… leprosy! Bits of him falling off everywhere!" Bill shrieked and dropped Bombur roughly back on top of the pile. "I-in fact…" she stammered. "They all do! Horrible! Truly! You don't know what you might catch from eating the lot. You'd get awful sick! I'm sure!"
"Sick?" Oin called out in alarm. "Is she calling us sick?"
"We're not sick!" Kili cried. "You're sick!"
"And they're delusional!" The hobbit cried out over the protesting dwarves. "Don't even know they have it! It's horrible, it really is!" The trolls just glanced around at the protesting dwarves.
"I'm delusional? You're one to talk!"
"You think you'll get away with this?"
"Untie me and I'll wring you're neck!" Emi turned to the dwarves, a pleading look on her face. They continued to shout. Her eyes finally found Thorin's. The hate was gone, instead was just confusion. Then realization sparked. He glanced down at the dwarves by his feet and gave them a swift kick. The clearing fell silent as many heads glanced up at Thorin, then back at Emi.
"I'm… the sickest dwarf ever." Oin admitted.
"I'm horribly sick!" Kili volunteered loudly. "Falling apart all over! Whoops, there goes a foot!"
"I'm about to loose a hand!"
"Won't make it till morning."
"Awful plague!"
Emi turned back to the trolls nodding. "See?"
"What would you have us do then?" Tom growled. "Let them all go?"
"If you wouldn't mind…" Emi smiled. Tom snorted.
"What about you then?" he asked walking over to her and picking her up. "I bet you aren't sick." The troll licked his lips. The dwarves fell silent. "You'd make a tender little snack wouldn't you?"
"She wouldn't!" Heads turned to look at Thorin again, who gave Kili another small kick. His nephew got the hint and spoke up.
"She is terribly infected!" Kili said earnestly.
"You what?" Tom sneered.
"She's infested with parasites." The dwarf nodded as Fili rolled upright.
"Riddled!" he added helpfully.
"Nasty business. I wouldn't risk it." Kili agreed. Tom narrowed his eyes before turning again to the hobbit in his hand.
"You think I don't know what you're doing?" He growled before tossing her roughly to the ground. She let out a cry as pain shot through her ribs stronger than before. "This little ferret is taking us for fools!"
"Fools?" Bert frowned. But the conversation was interrupted as a tall, grey clad figure appeared atop a rock.
"Dawn take you all!" His voice boomed.
"Who's that?" Bert asked.
"No idea." Tom answered.
"Can we eat him too?" Bill wondered. But no one got to reply, as Gandalf brought his staff down on the boulder on which he stood, splitting it in half. One half dropped aside and sunlight came pouring through. The three trolls shrieked in agony as their skin began hardening under the light. They attempted to shield their faces, but it was no use. The cries died away, and all that remained were three stone statues of some very ugly trolls. The dwarves broke out into huge cheers as Gandalf clambered down from the large boulder and hurried to free them.
Emi slipped away as soon as she was out of her sack. She was just doing everything in her power to get out of the dwarves' sight before she lost the contents of last nights dinner. Pain throbbed in her chest and her ribs felt like they were on fire. The hobbit was vaguely aware of Bofur's voice calling to her back, asking if she was all right. She wasn't. But she didn't say anything. Emi just wandered into the nearby woods as the dwarves put on the rest of their many layers of clothes.
"Where did you go, if I may ask?" Thorin said to Gandalf after changing back into his fur coat and armor. The wizard turned around in surprise from his inspection of the motionless trolls.
"To look ahead." The wizard replied simply.
"What brought you back?" Thorin pressed.
"Looking behind." Came the cryptic answer. Thorin sighed.
"Could you possibly be more plain?" the dwarf lord asked. Gandalf simply chuckled before turning back to the trolls. "Nasty business. Still, you're all in one piece."
"No thanks to your burglar." Thorin raised an amused eyebrow.
"She had the nous to play for time." Gandalf rounded on the dwarf. "None of the rest of you thought of that." Thorin exhaled but nodded. "Where is the hobbit anyway?" the wizard looked around vaguely. Thorin too glanced around to find the hobbit missing.
"Ori, go check on our Halfling." He told the scholar, who nodded and bustled away.
"They must have come down from the Ettenmoors." Gandalf mused, turning back to the trolls.
"Since when do mountain trolls venture this far south?" Thorin looked at the wizard.
"Oh, not for an age." Gandalf shook his head. "…Not since a darker power ruled these lands." The wizard was lost in thought for a moment, before turning back to Thorin. "They could not have moved in daylight."
"There must be a cave nearby." Thorin said, looking around.
"Indeed." Gandalf nodded.
"Dwalin, Gloin, Nori, Bofur." Thorin called out. "Come on, we're finding a troll cave." Many dwarves cheered at this and the previously mentioned quickly grabbed their weapons and headed out. Ori returned just after the five dwarves and Gandalf had left.
"Mister Oin," his sweet voice called out. "I think you might want to come take a look at this."
"What is it lad?" Oin said, raising his earpiece.
"It's Ms. Emi." Ori frowned. "She's not feeling to well." Oin sighed and followed the younger dwarf into the woods. The remaining dwarves stood around for a moment, worried.
"Well, lads, we best get packing." Balin said at last. "Thorin will probably want to leave as soon as he finds that cave." The rest of the dwarves nodded and headed off back to camp.
Meanwhile, Oin followed Ori through the trees and brush a little. They quickly came upon Emi, who was bent over next to a tree vomiting. She was trembling horribly and her skin looked clammy.
"Oh dear." Oin sighed coming over to the ill hobbit. "Kili wasn't right about the parasites, was he lass?" Emi shook her head no before emptying out the rest of her stomach.
"Fetch her some water lad." Oin turned to Ori who nodded and left. "Now, what seems to be the matter?" Grimacing, Emi lifted up the side of her shirt to show the huge purple and brown bruises on her side.
"When the trolls grabbed me." She explained quickly. Oin nodded.
"I'll put some ointment on it and bandage it up best I can." The healer promised. "In the meantime, try to rest. That's the best thing for it." Emi nodded and slumped against the tree trunk, still quivering in fatigue. Oin brought around his satchel and began treating the discolored skin. He was finishing off the bandages when Ori returned with a waterskin. Emi took a long pull from it and handed it back, immediately feeling better.
"Are you alright Ms. Emi?" Ori asked tentatively, taking the waterskin back from the hobbit.
"Yeah…" Emi nodded and Oin stood, satisfied with his work.
"Well, we better tell Thorin." Oin said, turning to leave.
"No!" the lass shouted loudly, wincing as she did so. "Please… don't tell Thorin. I don't want to be any more of a burden than I already am."
Oin regarded the hobbit for a moment before turning away. "Very well, but as soon as it becomes a problem, I will tell him. And on your head be it if he asks why he wasn't told earlier." Emi nodded in understanding as Ori helped her up. As soon as she was on her feet, the hobbit thanked Ori and walked ahead of him. There was pain, but it was not unbearable. She could handle this.
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