I roll over on my still unmade bed and look for Cora's clock in the early morning light. It's eight o'clock. I check my phone, but there is nothing. That's it, I'm sick of waiting. I'm calling him. I dial the all too familiar number and wait for the rings. It goes to voice mail, but that's normal. All of our friends and I used to always pick on him, saying things like, "Why do you even have a phone, you never pick it up?" So, the fact of his voicemail doesn't upset me. I can't help but smile at just the sound of his voice.

"Hey, this is Finn. I can't come to the phone right now, but here comes the beep, you know what to do."

BEEP

"Hey, Finn. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to call, but I'm sick of waiting. I mean you're not really going through with this, right? You can't just throw away three years because you have to be the bigger person and all. I get it. I know what you're trying to do, but you're wrong. I know you and I know that you put everyone else before yourself. That's why people love you, but you're out of line this time. I know you think you're helping-" The phone cuts me off and I finish even though I know no one's listening, "But you're not; I need you more than this." I finish through the light tears making wet trails down my face, and flop down on my bed letting my emotions finally, after nineteen hours, take their turn and crying myself back to sleep.

I know that car; I'd know it anywhere, its Finn's truck. That stupid piece of crap, in a rusty red color that only ran half the time, is where some of my fondest memories take place. I feel the summer heat on my skin as I step out of my front door and approach the truck. The second the door closes, he appears from behind the truck in khaki shorts and a navy polo holding a single yellow rose. We greet each other and he gives me the flower, I look down to my yellow lace dress and make some joke about matching. He laughs, and runs his hand through his hair, obviously nervous. The passenger side door opens for me. He gets behind the wheel and I automatically reach for the radio. I can't help it, I tell him. He laughs and tells me to carry on. When I hit the button REO Speedwagon's 'Can't Fight this Feeling' fills our ears.

"Classic rock guy, huh?" I ask as he nods and I begin to sing. In the corner of my eye I can see his lips moving to the lyrics of the song. As the song goes on, he gets a little louder. I catch his eye and he winks at me, I giggle like a little girl and turn the music down.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?" I ask.

"Nope, it's a surprise." He gives me his signature half smile.

"Please, Finn," I shamelessly beg.

"Nope, sorry Rachel, I don't give in that easy."

I gasp as a wake up, my body damp from sweat. I roll over onto my back taking a moment to try to slow down my breathing and speak to the empty space above me.

"Oh, the irony."

That dream felt so real, because it was, once upon a time anyway. It was our first date. The first time he kissed me. The first time I felt like I needed someone. What happened to me? I used to be so independent, I didn't need anyone. I had to be that way. When you have your mind so focused on one thing for so long, you tend to keep everything else, including people, out of your way, but sometimes, I guess all it takes is one special person to make you get those butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach, and you'll do anything to feel the way they make you feel again. Then you really get to know this beautiful boy and everything's perfect… until it's not. Sadly, I'm at the 'until it's not' part. I turn my head to the almost empty nightstand to see the clock that Cora must have placed there and see it read ten a.m.; I have officially missed my first college class. Suddenly my phone lights up and fills the empty room with a classical piano tune. My heart isn't beating as I reach for my phone, it's him, it has to be, but instead I see my best friend Kurt's smiling face looking back at me.

"Hello."

"Hey, honey," he greets me, "How's the best music school in the county? Everything you'd hoped it would be?"

"I wouldn't know," I reply snarkily, "I've only seen in the inside of the dorm rooms, and from here, it's not so hot. But, how's the most incredible film program ever going?"

He sighs. "It's coming along." He's being short and then we're silent for a moment, and from Kurt you know that's a bad sign.

"So," he begins, "I talked to Finn yesterday. He's really worried about you."

"Oh yeah? So why doesn't he just call me himself?"

"Rachel, we both know that's a bad idea."

"I really don't want to talk about this."

"Ok, we won't then," his voice changes from serious to almost mad. "We'll talk about how you better start getting your little butt to class now. He didn't do what he did so you could just throw away everything you've worked so hard on since you were born."

I sigh only because I know he's right, but also because he's been like this with me a lot lately, snapping at me whether I deserve it or not. I expect him to continue his rant but he goes a little harsher yet,

"I know this is hard on you, but it looks like you're going to have to pick and he didn't let you have the option, so you have to work even harder than ever before. When was the last time you played anyway?" I answer with nothing but a deep breath. "Exactly, you can't give everything up Rachel. He's made the choice for you. Now you both have to live with it."

He hangs up on me before I can make any response. He's right and he knows it, that's the thing with Kurt; he's so great at getting everyone else's lives together. Finn and I had spent so much time together this summer that I haven't really had any major practice time since before my big audition, so I grab my bag and head for a practice room. Unsure of will happen there.

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