Hello Internet.

This had SPOILERS from House of Hades. Not much plot wise, just about our beloved Ghost King.

HoH inspired me to have another go at this, and the plot is completely beside the point. Doesn't match up with HoH or really what was going on previously in this story. In earlier chapters, I'd sorta set this all after the first five books, and this continues on where the books left off after HoH. I try to make it as vague as possible, to fit slightly into cannon, but you know, it's fanfiction. Just roll with it.

Oh, and the Supernatural timeline is generally after season 8 finale.

Enjoy,

-Weezila-

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Ok, they may have been a little bit screwed.

Yes, they were surrounded by demons. Yes, they were disadvantaged. Yes, they were tired and their favorite ball of celestial intent happened to be lost somewhere in the world and of no use to them as he was completely out of contact seeing as he was 100% human at the moment (after immensely screwing over Heaven, they might add… again).

It just made it worse that Crowley had decided to show up in person, and seemed to find way too much pleasure in this.

"Any ideas?" Dean grunted.

"That involve us surviving this? Not at the moment." Sam said tensely, gripping the broken pipe in his hand slightly tighter. They'd already been fighting for awhile, and had somehow been disarmed, although Sam had a feeling two of his knives were still embedded in one of the demons circling around them like sharks waiting to attack.

"Come now boys, I only want to know where the feather duster hangs his hat now adays," Crowley said in that reasonable voice they hated so much.

"He's not an angel anymore you son of a bitch, just leave him alone!" Dean snarled at the ex-crossroads demon, who tisked in disappointment.

"Why, I just want to thank him for screwing up so colossally. Again. This time, it really turned in my favor, didn't it?" He chuckled happily.

"We're not about to tell you where you can find a human Castiel. We're not that low," Sam said sharply to him.

"Yeah! Plus, we don't know." Dean chimed in; ignoring the exasperated look Sam shot his way.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Crowley chuckled. "Like you don't know where you're pet angel is at all times. Quite the leash, if you don't mind me saying…"

"Contrary to popular belief, even his, Castiel does not in fact live in our asses." Dean deadpanned.

Crowley gave him a look. "Not Moose's, but you? Yes, and a demon didn't invent the internet." He chuckled.

The brothers exchanged looks.

Crowley simply raised one mischievous eyebrow at them, giving that half shrug of smugness he loved so much. "Where do you think buffering came from?" He grinned evilly, but then brushed it off. "No, what we really need to be focusing on is the location of my ex business partner… you either speak, or we cut out your tongues and kill you slowly. Then again, I might just do that anyway, love you boys to death but vengeance is sort of my thing, nothing personal," He grinned happily.

"Yes, and threats have always worked before." Sam huffed under his breath.

"Moose!" Crowley chastised with a rather malicious grin. "You misunderstand me, it isn't a threat! No, no, no, it is simply the balance. Still haven't completely forgiven you for that trial hogwash, now have I?"

"What? And you babbling about your feelings?" Sam shot right back.

Crowley dropped his smile and casually brushed some invisible dirt off the sleeve of his suit jacket.

"I admit your little tricks had me addled in the head, but never fear, I'm the lovable soulless mass murder in hell you've grown to love, don't worry!" He sighed, slowly smiling up at the brothers with a fire in his eyes and an angry twist in his grin. "Now, which do you prefer? Acid burns or water boarding? Personally I'm a fan of the rack but people keep telling me it went out with the last Spanish Inquisition. Not that Moose needs to be any taller now that I think about it, perhaps we could start by losing a few fingers, what do'ya say?" He cackled happily.

"Actually, I'd really prefer you didn't. And by the way, the Brazen Bull is the best torture on every occasion." A voice said in an almost bored tone, causing everyone to turn sharply at the new arrival.

Sam and Dean felt their shock show plainly on their faces.

"Nico!?" Sam choked.

Crowley let out an exasperated sigh. "di Angelo. What do I owe the unpleasant surprise?" The King of Hell drawled.

The son of Hades didn't look impressed with the army of demons Crowley had around him and the Winchester brothers, in fact, he looked rather annoyed. He didn't look so different from last they saw him, only he was obviously older, probably around fifteen now, with more lean muscle and an expression so gaunt and hollowed out he could've been a ghoul or a corpse without the funeral makeup.

He still had that deadly looking black sword on his belt, generally the same black/gothic get up complete with back army boots and that tattered aviator jacket, only this time everything about him seemed heavily battle-worn. Everything from his shaggy hair and deeply sunken eyes, to the frayed edges of his well-used jacket and shoes, to the scratched and dented sheath of his sword. He looked like… well, like he'd gone to hell and back.

"I'm here for the Winchesters." Nico said bluntly, and the King of Hell laughed humorlessly at him once, before fixing him with a dangerous glare.

"You're joking." He drawled.

"Don't got the time." Di Angelo snapped, pacing forward and approaching them without any concern for the demons littering the building.

"Ruin my fun why don't ya." Crowley muttered petulantly.

Nico gave him another very unimpressed, board line exasperated look. "I need two mortals who know how to fight and know about the Greek world, and I don't have the time or patience for your crap right now, Crowley." He snarled, shocking everyone at his tone to the King of Hell.

That is, everyone except the King of Hell himself.

"Well you can't have them. I was about to rip them into little bitty yummy bits to feed to the ducks, something I've been so looking forward to for some time now." Crowley sniffed at him.

Nico gave a silent growl, glaring daggers at him. "What do you want?" He demanded.

"You want them, I want Cerberus for so long as they're gone." Crowley offered with surprising ease. After all, the brothers knew how much Crowley treasured the chance to finally have them where he wanted them to get his revenge.

Nico scoffed once. "Cerberus actually has a job to do, unlike whatever the Hades you do all day. I've got a dozen hellhounds who've been wanting to get out for ages now. I know you lost your mutt." He countered.

Crowley harrumphed, looking like a petulant child. "They may be bigger, but they aren't trained and would turn on my men as fast as breathing. Greek fire."

"We're in the middle of a war against Romans you idiot, I'm not sparing it. I know you could use an Arai."

"One? That's pathetically unpredictable and highly potentially unsatisfying, not to mention meaningless if I can't use it against these dimwits." Crowley dismissed, gesturing to the brothers behind him.

"Why do I feel like we're being used?" Dead muttered to his brother.

"Because we are. But you don't see me arguing. Better than being skinned alive by Crowley." Sam shrugged back without taking his eyes off the curious exchange.

"How about… a soul bargain?" Crowley offered too innocently.

Nico scowled. "You know my father hates it when I do this." He hissed unhappily.

"Ah, yes, but rumor has it the god's got himself locked in the loony bin, hasn't he? You're calling the shots so far as those ghosts of yours know." Crowley pointed out slyly.

Nico snarled silently at him. "My father's just fine now, not that you care….Twenty," he snapped.

"A hundred! I know you've got room to spare," the demon shot right back playfully.

"Fifty."

"Seventy five!"

"Forty."

"That's not fair you cheapskate… thirty soldiers."

"Twenty civilian, ten soldiers."

"Twenty soldiers."

"Thirty, no soldiers."

"Greek?"

"Confederate."

"Well forget that! We're back to a hundred!"

"Twenty."

"You don't get the point of this bartering thing, do you? Eighty!"

"Twenty five and the Arai."

"Done." Crowley suddenly ended the deals, whipping out one of those ridiculously long contracts of his.

Nico gave him an exasperated look. "Do you really need to do this every time?" He demanded.

"Of course!" Crowley looked appalled. "This is the best part! Now, do you want to start on the leasing terms or the reasonable doubt restrictions? Or better yet, why don't we start with the debt conditions, they're my favorite part!" He said, looking rather cheered.

"Why don't you shut up," Nico said in the same bright tone, only significantly more mocking, snatching the ridiculously long scroll and pen from the demons hands and scribbling something across the bottom of it, shoving it roughly back in his hands. "And go enjoy you're freakin curse. I'm on a schedule." He snapped roughly, stalking past the King of Hell towards the brothers.

"A joy as always, di Angelo! Anything to satisfy the brat prince." Crowley nodded curtly to him with a sly and sinister smile, waving off the demons who tried to step in to stop Nico from coming to stand by the brothers' side.

"Up yours, worm." Nico snarled right back, with all the tone that suggested he'd be flipping the King of Hell off if he hadn't reached out and locked onto Sam and Dean's forearms.

Sam was about to comment, but the world suddenly fell dark.