A/N: to that random guest: you are welcome:)

to the other guest whose name I've forgotten: sorry, but I'm not going to write what I consider to be domestic violence. That falls more under M for me.

Vykktor: You are such a kind, supportive person and I truly hope this meets expectations! I laughed when I saw your request but I've always wanted to try my hand at a crack pairing. (Tho I didn't know how far you wanted it go so I kinda wrote all the way to S...) :)

A friend forever

WalhartxNowi

A tough conqueror meets a cheery dragon, and is changed.

C

Walhart was a conqueror, pure and simple. He'd slaughtered countless men for opposing him. He'd burned villages and homes in the name of imperialism. His heart was as hard as his armor, but it had one notable soft spot that, if discovered, could be his downfall.

Cuteness. The great conqueror of nations was weak to cuteness. Every one has flaws, but his was sometimes too much of a burden to bear.

It was why, long ago, he'd vowed to never partake of meat, or advocate the killing of animals. Cute things were inherently submissive. They didn't ask for death, nor did they deserve it.

Recently, he found another addition to the list of cute things that would cause his downfall. One of the shepherds that had taken him in, a thousand year old dragon: Nowi.

Nowi had captured his attention from the start. Today, she convinced him to play with her. That meant sitting a table across from her, drinking tea from tin cups she'd pilfered from the kitchen. Despite the looks he was getting, Walhart was unashamed.

"It's a lovely day, isn't it, Walhart?" she played at polite conversation, meanwhile lifting her cup delicately to her lips, raising her pinkie finger comically high.

"Ah, yes," he replied, gazing off into the distance. A light summer breeze lifted the ends of his hair, adding to what he thought was a majestic image. "We are having great weather. It leaves me feeling energized. May our enemies beware."

Nowi's act fell apart as she giggled and snorted. He briefly wondered what was so amusing, but her adorable laugh pulled at his heart strings and he kept his mouth shut.

"Thanks for spending today with me. Nobody ever wants to play with me anymore! They're all busy, all the time," she pouted.

Walhart set down his tea and looked into her eyes. "How selfish of them. But with power such as yours, you could easily bend their will to your whim."

The little dragon was astonished. "I could?"

"Of course. You can turn into a dragon, can you not?"

"Yeah..."

"And are dragons not superior?"

She thought for a moment. "Everyone seems to think so. But I don't really know."

"There you have it. Use your mighty power of cute...er...your mighty power of fear, to make them submit."

Nowi cheered. "Then they'll have to play with me!"

B

A few days later, Nowi approached him as he was training alone. Her lips were twisted into a pout. Walhart scowled and did his best not to seem excited by her presence.

"Well? How did you fare?"

"It worked great! At first. I convinced Virion to play duck duck dragon with me, and that was fun. And I made Vaike play dress up, every one loved that game! They were all laughing, but then Vaike ran away and cried secretly."

"I regret missing that."

"...then I scared Robin into playing hide and seek. Being so smart, she hid a little too well, and no one could find her. Everyone was freaking out, until hours later when she just gave up and came out. After that, everyone knew what I was doing. They're avoiding me."

She looked so sad. Walhart had spent so much time being emotionless, he knew not how to comfort her. From what he'd seen, hugs were commonplace when a comrade was feeling down, but truthfully he had no desire for physical contact. A reassurance that everything would be okay would suffice, but he wasn't the best with speaking anything that wasn't a declaration of war, so he kept quiet.

Nowi flung her arms up and sighed deeply. "They don't seem to realize that someday they'll be gone! They'll all leave me behind, as usual! Maybe then they might regret not spending time with me!"

He shrugged. "That is the way of the inferior. They are ungrateful fools who look to nothing beyond today."

"Riiiiight." She sighed and bit her lip. "I'll be going then."

Walhart watched her go, feeling just the smallest twinge of guilt.

A

"Nowi."

The manakete looked up. She had been sulking in silence all day. She wasn't aware, but just by walking through camp Walhart knew that everyone was worried about her.

"Hey, Walhart," she sighed.

"This sadness is unbecoming of you. Tell me what troubles you."

He sat down beside her. After thinking all night, he had decided that he missed Nowi's cute smile, and therefore must take action, no matter what he must do.

"I don't know. I've just been thinking about...the future. It makes me sad. All my friends will be gone. Robin, Chrom, you."

"You count me as a friend?"

"Of course! I mean yeah, you tried to conquer the world, but you regret it and stuff, right?"

"...sure."

"And you played with me when no one else would!"

Walhart became silent. He had never felt these...feelings...before. Nowi had opened up his heart, and he found himself actually willing to talk with someone.

"I too know the pain of being superior. Not many understand. They look at us, see us in our lofty position, and flee. They are intimidated, and fear us. It's a hard path to walk, especially if they are people you consider friends. And most of all, it's...lonely."

"You've got that right."

"But...now that we understand each other..."

"Yeah?"

"We needn't be so lonely."

Nowi gasped. "Really?! You would spend forever with me? You would put up with me every day and play with me?"

"I have no one else. And as you said, we are...friends."

She threw her arms around his neck. Unbidden, a blush spread over his face.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! We'll be friends forever!"

S

Weeks passed. The shepherds all prepared to fight the fell dragon the next day, but Walhart had one very important thing to do.

"Good morning, Nowi."

"Hiya! What do you want to play today?"

"Whatever you would like. But first, I have something to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Well...since we are to be friends forever..."

"Yeeeah?"

"Since we'll be together all the time anyway..."

"Spit it out!"

He held out the ring box and turned his face away. "W...would you become my wife?"

She screamed. Walhart was taken aback, until she jumped into his arms. "Yes! I've been waiting forever for you to ask that!"

"Truly? This is the happiest day of my life! We shall stand as gods on this earth, for as long as I live!"

"Oh, I hope that's a long time."

"I promise you, it will be. I have no intention of dying any time soon."

Bonus:

The shepherds stood in a circle around the newest future child. Nowi's daughter flicked her twin white braids and smiled. "Hello."

For some reason, the other future kids looked exceedingly nervous.

Nowi broke through the crowd, leading Walhart. "Nowi, stop this nonsense. There is no way that we-" he was protesting, until he caught sight of the tiny manakete girl.

"Walhart, Nah," Nowi introduced.

"Excuse me?"

"Your daughter!"

Nah's eyes got wide when she saw Walhart. She smiled widely. "Great Father! I have made you proud. In my future I made several conquests in your name, and Naga's! Granted, Grima probably obliterated them all, but we will soon rectify that! Come, let us take our vengeance on this fell dragon!"

Later, others would swear they saw a tear roll down Walhart's cheek. Whether that was true or not, his face still radiated fatherly pride.

Their family would go on to be infamous across Ylisse, for various reasons.