I hear nothing but the packed theater hushing as I step out onto the stage into the blinding stage lights. Brighter than any stage I ever experienced in high school, guess everything here really is bigger and brighter. But somehow all I can see is one figure standing in the back of the theater like they had just walked in. And he probably did just walk in because he had quite the drive. There he is, Finn, with Kurt beside him. All it takes is seeing him across the crowded theater and I can no longer hold in the memory I have spent all this time trying to suppress.
It's the last day, the last day of freedom, of summer. The last day before the rest of our lives, tomorrow we leave for school. I know college is supposed to be this huge step in your life, but when you're going to be so close to your hometown and you get to bring your soul mate with you, I can already tell it's going to feel like home. Finn told me he has some kind of major surprise for me today, so we're in his car. But I'm blindfolded. I hate surprises and he knows that so this must be something incredible.
"Please, Finn!" I whine a little, I can't help it, I really hate surprises.
"Rachel, I already told you, I'm not telling you." He responds a little annoyed. I have no idea what's been going on with him, he's been on edge all week. He hasn't been like this since right before we started hearing back from colleges. Suddenly the truck stops and he takes a deep breath.
"Ok, we're here." I pretty much rip the tie covering my eyes off only to see a train station.
"We're going somewhere? Finn, we have to be back tomorrow." I'm turned in the passenger seat but he's still facing the front, refusing to look at me. The only response I get is a sigh and his hands running through his hair. That's when I know something's really wrong.
"Finn? Tell me-"
"No. I have to be back tomorrow, you have to be at Julliard in just a few hours." I can't come up with anything to say back to him, but I try to spit out the question of how he found out.
"Your mom told me the second you said you weren't going, because we all knew why." He turns to me and takes my hand in both of his.
"I'm not going. Next year, you'll get in to NYU and we'll be together, but for now…"
"Rachel, I know how you see me, but we have to face the facts, I'm that guy who peaks in high school. The one who gets some crummy job he hates in his hometown and never gets any farther than that. That's who I am, we can't change that. But you Rachel, you are the most beautiful, talented girl I have ever met and I can't let you hold yourself back because of me. I couldn't live with myself if I let you do that. You are going to achieve everything you have ever wanted but you have to let me go. You have to put your dreams first." The tears are pouring down my face about half way through his speech.
"And if I can't let you go?" He sighs and closes his eyes, thinking.
"Then, we just have to believe that whatever is supposed to work out will." He opens his eyes and looks right into mine, as I stare right back, only seeing pure love in them. Between my sobs I manage to choke out,
"What about you, what are you going to do?" I ask as he continues to stare at me like he can see right through me, and without missing a beat he has a perfect answer.
"I'm going to stay here and do everything I can to make myself deserving of you. And if it's meant to happen it will, ok?" I nod and he smiles, a few tears are creating wet trails on his face making it match mine. "So, you're getting on the train?" Of course he had to ask, even when he's trying to make me do something, he's having me make the final choice. This is it, he's putting the ball in my court, this is where I throw a fit and force him to take me home, because there is no way I'm leaving him. But as I look into his eyes that want me to go, want me to go live my life, I can't help but agree. Before I know it he's standing outside my opened door holding his hand out, and I take it into mine for the last time for a while. He pulls my duffel bag out from the back-seat of his truck.
"Your mom packed it." He slings it over his shoulder and starts toward the station still holding my hand. But I don't move, I pull back on his hand and he falls back toward me a bit, turning to face me. Before he can say anything, I place my lips over his pouring all my love into it, the last kiss, as I feel him doing the same. I break the kiss, grab my bag from him and take a mad dash to the station never turning back. I can't go through the long goodbye without really losing it and probably saying things I don't mean so I run, I hear him yelling after me but I don't look back, and I know I can't ever again. I spend the entire train ride in tears.