A.N. So I looked into the Elven after life since this part is turning out to be longer than I expected, and it's a bit of a confusing concept, so please correct any errors I've made

It had been hours and Tauriel still had not stirred. Kili wanted nothing more than to give her back whatever he had taken, but he truly didn't know how. Legolas had been watching over Tauriel, so Kili spent his time watching the children. Aside from being afraid of what Legolas would do to him, he wasn't sure he even wanted to see Tauriel like this. He was ashamed that he was the reason she wouldn't wake. He didn't know how to help her and it was killing him

"Kili…" Bard said as he entered the room, "You should sleep"

"Not tired," Kili replied even as he bit back a yawn.

"Staying up won't improve her condition."

"I need to watch the children" Kili said.

"Go to sleep, Kili," Bard said. Kili thought he'd never sounded more like a parent. He could tell why his children respected him.

"I'll try," Kili replied.

"It might help if you actually go and see her," Bard suggested.

"Legolas is with her," Kili replied, "And I doubt he wants to see me."

"Legolas is gone, Kili," Bard said.

"What? When?"

Bard hesitated a moment before answering, "He went to see if his father brought any Elven healers."

"Oh," Was all Kili could say.

"It doesn't mean anything, he's just being cautious."

"He thinks she's dying," Kili muttered, "Because of me."

Bard fully entered the room and leaned against the door, "I don't understand any of this Elven magic," he began, "But whatever Tauriel did, she did knowing the consequences. She wouldn't want you to give up whatever she gave you."

"But how could I live knowing she died for me?"

"You just do, Kili. You live well and make her proud," he replied, "Now go see her."

The pain in Tauriel's side had faded into a constant, dull ache. She didn't have the will to move, so she just laid on her bed and wondered what the hell was going on.

She knew very well the customs of her people, but she had never made the conscious decision to remain on Earth or proceed to the Halls of Mandos. Maybe she wasn't allowed to enter the Halls yet. Maybe she had sinned too much and was being punished. Maybe she simply wanted to cling to life. But she was discontent. She was caught between two worlds and she knew that if she didn't make a choice soon, she would be stuck here forever.

If she was dead, then she was dead. There was nothing else to it. There was no point in Tauriel remaining in Middle-Earth. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was a part of her missing. A crucial piece of her Fëa that prevented her from truly leaving the world.

She didn't know what to do and there was no one to help her. She was going to be trapped in this Purgatory for eternity with no one to keep her company.

Or so she thought. She sat up painfully as she heard her door open. Tauriel instinctively reached for her blades then cursed when they weren't there. What use did she have for weapons in Purgatory?

"Who's there?" she asked, trying to hide her fear.

It wasn't until she saw the auburn hair, the same shade as her own, that she made the connection. "Mother?"

She looked like she was asleep. Kili hadn't known what to expect, but he hadn't imagined she would look so peaceful. If it wasn't for the blood on her dress, he would have thought that she was sleeping, exhausted after a long day of fighting.

But he knew what had really happened and he was filled with shame that he had done this to her. He took a small step forward, worried that if he even breathed wrong he would make things worse.

She looked so pale, almost like a corpse. But the shallow rising and falling of her chest let Kili know she was alive. He reached forward and hesitantly grabbed her hand. It was so cold. The few times he'd touched her, she'd been so warm. He couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't really there.

He thought again about whatever she had done. Maybe Legolas was right and the piece of her missing was the piece preventing her from coming back. Maybe it was also the piece that stopped her from leaving. What if Legolas found a way to reverse the magic and she died? Kili didn't want to think about it. She was alive right now. He could feel her slight pulse as he held her hand.

Kili looked behind him quickly to make sure they were really alone before leaning into her.

"Tauriel" he breathed into her ear, "I know on some level you can hear me."

He waited a moment. He knew she wouldn't react, but he still hoped that maybe just hearing his voice would magically bring her back. Maybe he was as naïve as his companions thought. He sighed and continued.

"There are people waiting for you to return, Amrâlimê," he whispered, "So if you are doing this by choice, return to me and Legolas. But… if I have a piece of you that you cannot live without, then I promise, Tauriel, I will return it to you. You will live"

She didn't say anything nor did she open her eyes, but Kili could ghace sworn her felt the faintest squeeze on his hand.

Translations

Fëa: The Elven equivalent to the soul

Amrâlimê: My Love

A.N. I know it was super short, but I've had no time to write the last couple of days. I hope I'll be able to update this and "Murder in Mirkwood" over the weekend