Tauriel did as her mother asked and pictured Bard's house. She had a nearly photographic memory and was able to picture every detail. Every walnut that had fallen from Kili's makeshift pillow earlier, every drop of blood from their various wounds was accounted for.

She felt strange, like she was in two places at once. Tauriel supposed she was. Her physical body was in Bard's kitchen, but she could still feel the part of her Fëa that was in her room in Mirkwood. It felt alien and generally unpleasant. Like she was having a waking dream, but she knew it was real.

"Control your breathing, Tauriel," he mother said. Tauriel hadn't realized that she had begun hyperventilating. She took care to focus on her mother's guidance, no matter how uncomfortable she felt about how it seemed her voice came from nowhere.

Tauriel couldn't move her head, but she could move her eyes. She didn't have a great range of view, but she could tell that she was in the kitchen. Probably on the same table Kili had been earlier. It was unsettling to not be able to move, and she soon found herself panicking. Calm, Tauriel, she thought. No good would come from her losing her cool. She could remain stranded, or worse. She darted her eyes around until she saw someone out of her peripheral vision. Kili. Was it him? Or was she imagining things? She yearned to reach out to him, but she still couldn't move.

Even though she knew it was in vain, she still tried. It seemed like wouldn't work but then, she felt her fingertips brush the side of the table. She was moving. She was returning back to the physical realm. She carefully blinked her eyes and turned her head a centimeter towards Kili. She was about to call out to him when she felt a pain in her side. It was like the one she had felt earlier, only worse. Before she could say his name, she let out a shrill cry of pain.

She lost control of her limbs again, and felt her arms and head stiffen back into the rigid position she had awoken in. she felt herself disconnect with her body again, but this time it felt different. Instead of floating away, she felt like she was being ripped in two. She wanted to let out another scream, but she couldn't open her mouth. She was paralyzed and it was terrifying. Her eyes were wide open, but she couldn't process anything she was seeing. Until she saw his face above her.

Kili was standing over her, with a look of concern and fear in his eyes. She looked at him, willing her body to obey her, but she couldn't move. He was saying something, but Tauriel couldn't hear him. All she could hear was her ragged breathing and her heart pounding in her ears.

She tried to focus on how much she wanted to go back to the physical world, but she couldn't hear her mother's guidance or Kili's words. Her last thoughts before she passed out were of how, for the first time, she was truly alone.

Kili at first thought the scream had come from outside. He instinctively reached for his sword, before remembering he was unarmed. It wasn't until he looked around that he realized the scream had come from Tauriel. He leapt up and ran to her when he noticed her body thrashing. If she wasn't careful, she would rip her stiches, and Kili wasn't entirely sure that Sigrid could sew her up again.

Without thinking, he pressed down on her shoulders, preventing any movement that would hurt her. Her eyes were open, but she didn't seem to be seeing him. Kili wondered just what was going on in her head. If she could scream, then she could surely wake up. But… Kili thought again of how Legolas believed that he had stolen a part of her. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was killing Tauriel. Kili couldn't dwell on it. Whatever Tauriel had done, he couldn't reverse right now.

"Tauriel," he said forcefully, "You must stop thrashing."

He saw her eyes focus for a moment, and was stunned by the pain and terror in them. She wanted to return, Kili realized, but she didn't know how. Kili hadn't considered that wherever she was, she physically could not come back. He had always thought Tauriel capable of anything. Could it be that this magic she had used, she had performed without knowing?

Kili didn't have time to dwell on it, her eyes had returned to their glassy, unseeing state and her body became stiff and unmoving. And Kili knew that Tauriel was away from him. What he had said to her the day he received the Morgul wound… he had been a fool to write it off as a dream. He hadn't known what it was really like for her to be far from him. He knew now that this was worse. This was much worse than her being physically gone. It was agony to be able to see her and touch her, but not speak to her. And he knew that she wasn't walking among the stars. Wherever she was, she was scared and alone. Kili couldn't think about how he'd done this to her without feeling ill.

Kili wondered if Legolas had found an Elven healer. If there was someone who could reverse Tauriel's magic… he didn't want to think about that choice. Bard was probably right when he had said that Tauriel would want him to live. But how could he? She wasn't dead, but she wasn't alive. If she couldn't wake up, but also couldn't move on… how was he supposed to decide what to do? She wouldn't want to live like this. This wasn't living. But if Kili did anything, it would be akin to murder.

He looked at Tauriel's lifeless body and wondered how in the hell she could leave him like this. Kili wasn't normally a crier, but he felt tears begin to pool in the corners of his eyes. How could she leave him? She had been the one to make sure he knew how pointless his continued fighting would be? How could Tauriel turn right around and get herself killed because she couldn't accept that enough was enough?

Kili knew what must have been going through her mind, though. She must have seen the child and known he would die without her. She was too noble and too kind to let a child die when she could in his place. He felt like damning her and her selflessness, but he knew he couldn't. Not in good conscience. Kili could almost imagine what she would say to him if she were here.

There is no use fretting over what cannot be changed, he could almost hear her voice in his head.

"Tauriel," he said as he gripped her hand, "You won't want this of me, Zinlaz, but I swear on my honor as a dwarf, I will return your missing piece to you, and you will live a long, happy, Elven life."

Kili knew he should have returned to his makeshift bed, in case Legolas returned and caught him, but he couldn't bear to be so far from her. Instead, he laid his head down next to her on her walnut pillow, and let her slow, shallow breaths lull him back sleep.

A.N. So this chapter got really far away from where I wanted it to go, but I kind of like it. Let me know what you think!