Chapter 17
Pretending is easy we do it all the time. It's an everyday thing really. People pretend for lots of different reasons and sometimes they have great reason and other times they don't. Pretending it's a crime it's just an escape from the truth that haunts you. It's the gate way to freedom for most. So why not pretend?
We're human right? So we feel things both mentally and physically and I can't really tell what which one hurts us the most. Physically you're bruised but the wounds can heel but the process hurts still. Mentally you're hurt from the inside and it can heel most of the time but it's not always healed 100%. Both drastic and both painful. Pain is what we feel when we hurt and hurt is caused by lots of things but it might be one that we feel both mentally and physically.
Pain is a feeling we have when we're hurt. It's hard to receive and to get over. Everyone goes through pain but at least we have people there to help us. Pain is hard to forget and sometimes it's too much and it ends up changing us. It's hard to give pain but most of the time we're not thinking about how much we hurt the person until we realize it.
Last time on Was it Fate or Destiny:
Lucy watched him go. There were a lot of things she didn't know about Sting but one thing she did know was he wasn't a dumbass. She knew he was smart but she just found out that he runs away from reality, from his past.
Sting woke up the next day feeling tired and upset. He didn't get out of bed yet and he didn't really have that much time left till school started but he was planning to say he was sick. It would be a lie but it wasn't far from the truth. He felt fine but he was just not in the mood to see anyone anytime soon.
"Sting get your sorry ass down here!" Laxus yelled.
"Fuck off!" Sting yelled back turning away from the door.
Laxus shook his head and went upstairs. He knocked on the door first and when no reply came he just entered, he was pretty sure his brother wasn't doing anything private in there so he went on ahead.
The room was dark, the curtains shut closed. It was sort of neat and Sting was in the middle of it in bed. Laxus went towards the window and opened it. The light came in and you could see the tissues covering his bed. Laxus understood the second he saw them and he ran out of the house to school leaving Sting by himself at home.
Sting watched his brother leave and he stood up. Wearing his PJ's which consisted of only boxers. He went downstairs to see what his brother had left for him and saw his best friends sitting and eating it. Usually Sting would be fine with it but today wasn't his day and he wasn't the mood to be the nice, caring Sting.
What did Lucy say about me last time I'm arrogant, proud, and selfish. She didn't say I am those things she thinks I was those things but she doesn't know I was those things. Sting thought sending glares at his friends. I have to stay calm though. Breathe in and out.
"Did you even save anything for me?" Sting practically screamed. "You can't just come into my house and eat my food whenever you want. My door is not your door and this isn't your house so do me a favor and get the FUCK OUT"
Loke and Rogue just looked at him and understood with his red eyes and all. They looked at each other and shared a message so obvious that even Sting knew what they were thinking about. Sting just walked to the fridge to get something to eat. He knew his outburst was kind of mean but they understood why he was acting this way and they let it slide. Sting sat down between the two at the head of the table and drank the juice from the carton while he was waiting for his bacon to cook.
"I'm taking care of him" Loke and Rogue both said.
"I don't need either of you to take care of me," Sting told them smirking, "I'm the great Sting after all"
"Believe me you do," Rogue said rolling his eyes at his friends personality change.
"I thought it wasn't due till the day after tomorrow," Loke said.
"I thought so too," Sting said a little depressed, "Then Lucy had to ask some fucked up questions"
Loke looked away. He knew he was the reason Lucy bothered Sting yesterday and he felt responsible but he just had a feeling Sting needed Lucy to be there for him and teach him how to open up.
"What type of questions?" Rogue asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Sting told him getting his bacon.
Rogue looked away too. It was probably his fault Lucy was able to ask the question and see right through Sting but like Loke, he thought Lucy was perfect for Sting and could help him out.
"You guys do know you're late for school," Sting reminded them both.
"You choose who stays with you," Loke told him.
"Neither," Sting chose.
"Fine" Rogue said getting up, "Aries is here anyway"
"Wh-What!" Aries said from the door wearing one of Loke's shirts.
Loke blushed and smiled. Rogue turned to leave having nothing else to say and Sting put his head on the table finished with his food, not in the mood to talk to people.
"I'll stay with you man," Loke said patting him on the back.
"I need a hug," Sting whispered.
No one heard him say that. Aries just sat down on Loke's lap and they started a conversation leaving poor Sting alone, the way he wanted it in the first place. Sting went upstairs gladly with a new box of tissues.
"What's wrong with him?" Aries asked,
"Classified information" Loke replied, "Why are you wearing my shirt?"
"It looked better on me" Aries told him.
Loke smiled. For once he wasn't chasing after all the girls in the city because he had found the one girl he would do anything for. It made him happy but he knew he couldn't spend his whole life with her, he might just be 18 but his father had already done an arranged marriage with some other rich girl but he was working on it so he could get out of it. Running away was the first step.
"So when are we going back?" Aries asked her head went on his shoulder.
Loke's smile faded in to a frown. He didn't feel like going back to that place he didn't feel free and he wanted freedom to be who he wanted to be and not follow in his dad's footsteps; he wanted to make his own.
"Why do you want to go back?" Loke asked her.
"I miss home and that's where all my friends are" Aries told him, "I don't have anything of my own here"
"I can't go back" Loke said, "I just can't go back"
"Why not Loke?" Aries asked pleading.
"Aries I can't" Loke told her, "You can make friends here and get your own things here too"
"I don't want too" Aries said facing him.
"You could start a whole new life".
"I already have a life and I want you to be part of it but I want you to be part of it at home".
"I want you part of my life too but my life's here now and I'm not going back home".
"Loke, I'm leaving, I can't stay here forever".
"I thought you came here for me".
"I did. I came here for you so I could take you home, I thought the reason you left was because I rejected you".
"Don't flatter yourself".
Aries walked out of the kitchen to start packing and Loke ran his hand though his hair frustrated and hurt. Aries was a great girl and he loved her, he didn't want her to leave but he didn't want to leave. She just didn't understand why he couldn't go back to the huge house with everything he could ever want. Loke went to go talk to her but she was already done and she marched out the bedroom door.
"Aries!" Loke yelled after her, "Come on babe"
"Don't you babe me" Aries yelled, "I thought you wanted to be with me"
"I thought you of all people would never leave me" Loke contoured angrily, "Look, I love you Aries and I know you love me too. You know my secrets and everything there is to know about me but you don't know my family and I can't tell you because I'm afraid you'll leave me but you're already doing that"
Aries let a tear fall but she wiped it away and marched out the front door. She knew Loke and she knew that she would never leave him but he left her and he didn't even call or say goodbye.
"Goodbye Loke" Aries whispered halfway down the street.
Loke didn't start punching the walls or screaming at the top of his lungs, he simply went upstairs to his best friend's door, entered the room and sat on his bed letting the tears fall. Sting heard the whole thing and they didn't talk at all, they just cried for their own reasons.
"I feel like such a girl" Loke said after a while letting out a fake laugh.
"Today's not the day to be fake and hold things in" Sting told him.
At school
"Ro-kun" Levy said making Rogue blush.
"Yeah?" Rogue said.
"Where's Sting and Loke?" Levy asked.
Everyone kept asking him that and he kept giving the same answer.
"They're both sick," Rogue told her.
"They seemed fine yesterday," Mira said coming up to the couple.
"How should I know how they fell sick," Rogue said, "Their house is a complete mess, three guys in one house"
Everyone nodded in agreement. Lucy walked in feeling a bit better but still wondering about Sting.
"Oh Lucy!" Natsu said approaching her, "So did you find a date?"
"What?" Lucy asked not sure she heard him correctly.
"You know a date for karaoke" Natsu said.
"Got know clue what you're talking about" Lucy told him.
"I told yo- Lisanna!" Natsu yelled walking away from Lucy.
Lucy just walked on, ignoring the weird moment she had with one of her best friends. She looked for Levy and saw her standing next to Rogue.
Perfect. Where Rogue is Sting is right? Lucy thought walking up to them.
"Hey guys!" Lucy said.
"Hey" Jellal said, "You feeling better"
"Yup" Lucy reassured him and everyone else.
"Jellal!" Erza yelled from the door.
Everyone else faced her with fear feeling sorry for the poor guy but Jellal knew Erza better and could calm her down, he was facing her smiling.
"Who the fuck in this?" Erza asked holding up a photo of him and a girl with white hair.
"Oh her" Jellal said calmly, "I meet her at work, she came in and ordered some things"
"So you decided to flirt with her" Erza yelled walking up to him hand ready to slap.
"So you don't trust me" Jellal told her, "Who took the picture?"
"K" was all Erza said before she was pulled away from the classroom by Jellal.
The whole class was opened mouthed not understanding what was going on between the couple but the girls were furious at Jellal not believing he would do such a thing.
"How did I do?" Erza whispered to him.
"Great" Jellal told her, "When we walked out the girls were glaring"
"Thank you for doing this" Erza said hugging him.
"You're going to pass the audition" Jellal told her, "I just know it"
Once the embrace was over they were still in each other's hands, looking into the others eyes while getting closer and closer to each other till the space between them disappeared. They shared a passionate kiss; it was deep and had feeling in it. Erza smiled, hands around his neck and Jellal deepened the kiss pulling her closer hands on her hips.
No one knew what was going on outside but they all assumed Jellal was getting killed. Natsu carried on with what he wanted to say to Lisanna. Lisanna though crushed they broke up she didn't hate him and she wanted to be with him again but she didn't want it to be a one sided relationship.
"Hey Lisanna!" Natsu said for the third time "You know the karaoke thing this Friday. I was wondering if you would like to come as my date"
"Ok!" Lisanna replied walking away smiling like an idiot.
Natsu smiled happily his plan to get Lisanna back was working. He just hoped that Friday went well so he could date the girl of his dreams. Lisanna walked up to the girls grinning which of course didn't go unnoticed by Mira.
"What's got you so happy?" Mira asked.
"Natsu asked me to be his date for karaoke" Lisanna told her.
"Juvia thought it was cancelled" Juvia said looking confused "Did Gray-sama lie to Juvia?"
"Yes but I wanted to take you somewhere else for our date" Gray assured her hands around her waist.
Mira blushed at the mention of Friday. Laxus and she had something planed that day and no one knew about it and she wanted it to stay that way.
Lucy felt left out but let it slide it wasn't her fault that everyone else was dating someone and she was left like a loner. Rogue was doing his best to avoid eye contact with Lucy and he really wanted to get out of the little circle the group had made but knew Levy would complain about how his not making any friends. For a little girl she has a huge bite.
"Where's Sting?" Lucy finally asked.
"Ro-kun said he was sick" Levy informed her.
"Sick of what?" Lucy went on to ask.
"Ask Laxus that" Rogue told her slipping away from Levy and running away from Laxus.
Lucy faced Laxus who was glaring daggers at Rogue but of course she didn't understand what was going on so she didn't take the hint. Laxus faced Lucy thinking of a solution out of his dilemma when he saw Mira walking away blushing slowly and he saw his opening.
"What's he sick of Laxus?" Lucy asked curious as ever before.
Laxus grabbed Mira quickly but Mira didn't fight back she was shaking and scared for reasons only she knew.
"Mira's shaking, I better take her to the nurse" Laxus said dragging her out of class.
Once outside they saw Jellal and Erza making out and Laxus froze. Mira just blushed looking at the ground. Jellal and Erza stopped saw the couple and then continued what they were doing.
"Get a room" Laxus told them walking off Mira at his tail.
"If you're offering to pay for it" Jellal called staying next to Erza "I'm joking"
Jellal whispered the last bit to Erza seeing as she was the shade of a tomato. Mira was the same shade still following Laxus.
"Laxus!" Mira said stopping.
"Yea babe" Laxus said facing her.
"About Friday" Mira started off facing the ground.
"I'm so excited gosh this is my first time and I'm so glad it's with you" Laxus said hugging her.
"I'm not ready" Mira told him, "Sorry"
"But it's just-" Laxus begun.
"I want to keep my virginity" Mira said words shaking out of her mouth.
Laxus was mouth open at what she said. He was shocked; he just wanted to go to the new car cinema at the other side of town. He had never been to one and call him old fashioned but he has always wanted to go to one. He thought it would be special and romantic to go with Mira.
"Mira I meant the new cinema" Laxus said pushing her at arm length.
"The car one" Mira said looking at him.
"Yea I thought it would be romantic and you would love to go" Laxus said being a softie he only was with Mira.
"I would love to" Mira said relief coming over her face as she leaped into his arms.
Sting's house
Sting and Loke were in the living room now playing a game and drinking coke with some chips. After crying till there were no tears left they decided to play a little. Loke didn't want to but he thought they would help him feel better after all he was with his best friend and he was in dude heaven.
"I sound like a girl right now" Loke said, pausing the game, "Can I talk about how I feel?"
"Sure then after we can do each other's hair" Sting commented starting the game again
"I'm serious" Loke told him
Sting wasn't listening he was too busy playing the game to listen. Loke knew Sting wasn't one to talking about how he feels but he also knew that Sting was a great listener no matter what time of the year.
"Sting I'm not you" Loke started off careful about where his sentence was going "I can't bottle up my emotions and only let them out once a year"
"I never used to do that" Sting spoke in a quiet voice pausing the game "When I did I lost people"
"I know but you have me, Rogue, Laxus and your gramps" Loke said worried for the blonde.
"That's all I'll ever have" Sting letting out a depressed sigh.
Like everyone else Sting had a past one that he didn't like talking about. Sting faced Loke with a serious expression on his face meaning he was ready to listen no matter how stupid Loke sounded. Loke wanted to add someone on his list of people who he had but decided against, so instead he thought about himself.
"She left me" Loke said simply.
"I noticed" Sting commented.
"No, I mean she left me" Loke said again, "She knew that everyone in my life left me before yet she still left me"
"I'm still here" Sting told him.
"You left me too" Loke reminded him, "I'm the one who came back to you"
"I know and I'm sorry but I had no choice" Sting said looking at the ground.
"Everyone I care about has left me and I don't think I want that to happen again" Loke said.
Sting didn't say a word. He knew Loke's story and he understood him, they were so a like after all that sometimes he thought he was his twin. Loke felt great to be letting this out even though it didn't make much sense but he loved Aries more than he has ever loved and her leaving him came down on him like hail.
"Mum left, you left, Aries left" Loke counted, "It's just three people but they're all important and them leaving changed me. It changed my life"
"I'll never leave you again" Sting said, "I have nothing to take me away anyway"
"That's where you're wrong" Loke yelled, "You have a life here. You get to know people"
"I thought you were running away to find love" Sting said knowing Loke was an emotional wreck at the moment
"Like hell that excites" Loke said angrily, "Love's not real and neither is fate or destiny"
"What if they are?" Sting asked.
"Then why aren't I happy?" Loke countered.
Sting shook his head. He learnt to control his emotion and his pain so no one would have to worry about him. It had taken him 3 years since that day but it was worth it.
"Love, fate and destiny" Sting whispered, "Just because you don't feel or witness it doesn't mean it's not real it just mean it's not your time yet"
"Bullshit" Loke said and he walked off.
Sting sat there thinking and wondering. He had always felt like it was destiny to meet Loke and Rogue because out of all his acquaintances these were the guys who stuck around for as long as he could remember. He turned back to the TV and heard the door Loke walked through slam shut again and Loke walked out of the house. Sting knew he had to go after him but he would give Loke an hour before looking. Loke after all needed to clear his head and calm the fuck down.
1 hour later
Loke still wasn't back and school was over by now. Sting got up from the couch and went upstairs.
It's supposed to be my fucking day but no some ass who's my best friend has to go all bitchy on me and I have to be the fucking husband and give a fuck to looking for the bustard. Sting thought changing out of his PJ's.
Once he was done, he went downstairs and opened the door to find a blonde female in front of him about to knock. Sting didn't smile or say hello he just closed the door behind him and walking forward like he hadn't noticed her at all.
"Sting!" Lucy said a little too relived, "You seem better"
She got no reply just dead silence. She felt ignored but she ignored that fact as she followed him to his car getting in with him and waiting for him to break the silence. No one said a word so she spoke getting a tad bit worried for her blonde companion.
"What's up Sting?" Lucy asked.
"The sky" Sting replied.
"No shit" Lucy said giggling a bit, "I meant what's up with you"
"Why do you care?" Sting asked, "Just leave me alone"
"You were there for me and I'm here for you" Lucy pointed out.
"Cut to the crap why the fuck are you here talking to me and asking me all these questions. Yesterday you asked me tones of questions too. Why the fuck are you trying so hard to figure me out?"
"You're a mystery I can't solve. You're a math problem that's stuck in my brain and you're the boy with the blonde hair lighter than mine, moved to FT Academy last week and has a different last name from his brother."
"You're the girl who smiles too much, you're easy to read, blonde hair and tracing brown eyes, the heir to the Heartfillia estate but ran away, has adopted older brother and dad in a coma. You're a girl who's an emotional wreck and can't deal with pain."
"We're not all like you Sting" Lucy said getting out of the car, "We can't all pretend the pains not there"
Sting drove out of the driveway the minute she was out of the car.
"If only you knew the reason for the pain then maybe you might understand but right now I have a friend I need to find so do me a favor and fuck off for a while would you" Sting yelled as he drove down the road.
"I can't do that Sting" Lucy whispered to herself, "I love you and I'm not going to just leave you alone"
Pain comes and goes and even stays but we just have to be strong enough to handle it no matter the reason. Pain's hard to take but that's life easy can't live without hard just like good can't live without evil. It's these types of things that makes us realize what life's worth and fight for the better good. Why do we have to however go through pain?