Chapter 2 – Bad dream

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the reviews and stuff on my previous chapter! I will continue this story for now, so keep the love coming. It really gives me the push I need! J Also, this chapter is angsty… But keep the faith, and it will all turn lighter in the future.

Where will I meet my fate?

Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate

And when will I meet my end?

In a better time you could be my friend

I wake up, it's a bad dream

No one on my side

I was fighting

But I just feel too tired

To be fighting

Guess I'm not the fighting kind

(Bad Dream - Keane)

The bar was thin on people that night. The storm probably had them all in their homes, lighting candles and playing board games. Sensible, Meredith thought. Especially because that made the mission of drowning her sorrows in silence that much more attainable. She sighed and threw a look at her companion. He hadn't said a word since it happened, and now it seemed he was well on his way to falling asleep after a few too many glasses of scotch.

Meredith sighed again and downed one last shot of tequila before pulling him up from his chair. If they were gonna make it home before sunrise they would have to leave now. Thankfully, the brownstone Meredith and Mark shared was right across the street. Using a surprising amount of strength for such a small person she managed to support Derek all the way out of the bar and into her house without much trouble. Because the bedroom was situated on the second floor, Meredith decided her best course of action would be to put Derek on the couch in the living room.

She threw off her soaked coat, kicked off her shoes and helped him make his way towards the comfy loveseat. There she proceeded to take off his expensive leather shoes, his already loosened tie, the suit jacket and thereafter tucked him in with a warm blanket. When she was done she realized he was already fast asleep and took this moment to regard him where he lay so peacefully.

He looked almost like a little boy. His face was relaxed in slumber; the wrinkles that were starting to form on his forehead (being well on his way to 40 years old) were smoothened out in relaxation. The slightly crooked nose twitched slightly and he seemed almost content. Right now all troubles were far away. His perfectly moussed raven curls were in slight disarray from the amount of times he had ran his hand through them tonight.

Meredith sighed. She and Derek had never been close. Of course, they were friends with each other. Colleagues. They worked closely together and spent summers, holidays and birthdays in each other's immediate vicinity. But mostly it was he and Addison, or he and Mark. Meredith and Addison had always been best friends since med school and him and Mark went even longer back. They had grown up together. Meredith and Derek had simply fallen somewhere between categories when it came to friendships. Sure, they had had conversations and occasional banter-sessions. Mostly revolving work or medicine in general.

She knew everything she needed to know about him through Mark, and she suspected he had the same source of information regarding her. They were comfortable around each other. She could admit that he was a good-looking man with a kind heart (if a bit cocky and arrogant at times), and he found her charming and beautiful in a way that a husband is supposed to feel about his wife's best friend. They had just never made that deeper connection to each other.

Well, Meredith thought. This fact would undoubtedly change as well as everything else in their lives right now. They were stuck in the same boat and would have to "row together" to find peace again. Of all this, Derek had no clue in his deep drunken sleep.

Meredith closed her eyes and wept in silence as she thought of their predicament. Tomorrow it would all hit him again; all the hurt, the feelings of betrayal. He had been married to Addison for 8 years, double the amount of time from her and Mark.

She felt like throwing things around. How could they do this? Mark! He had been married to her for 4 years! Sure, they had been a bit rocky lately… what with them working so much and Mark's tendency to act like a lost puppy around her. But that was no excuse!

How long had this been going on? When her and Mark celebrated their anniversary and he had bought her that beautiful necklace, had he been secretly sleeping with Addison? While she and Derek went to visit Seattle Grace Hospital for that cancer-patient with rare tumors all over his body, had their spouses been sharing the same bed?

Addison, her best friend who had rejoiced with her when she told her she was pregnant. Who had sat with her thinking of baby names and informing her about prenatal vitamins and lotions against stretch marks…

When Meredith in the end had told Mark about the miscarriage… All the while…

She choked a sudden sob. No, she couldn't go there. She would fall apart again, and she couldn't do that. It wouldn't make a difference. Not now. Not Ever.

Meredith closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She smiled a sad smile at Derek's sleeping form and made her way up the stairs towards the room she and Mark used to share. She immediately felt disgusted when she spied the neatly made bed.

Had they been here too? On their sheets? Meredith gave out a silent scream, which sounded a bit like a wounded animal, as she with all her force ripped the dozens of pillows, blankets, bedcovers and sheets that clotted the huge bed onto the blank wooden floor. She fell limply on the empty bed in exhaustion and closed her eyes tightly as she wept and grieved for her lost marriage.

When Meredith opened her eyes the next time it was only a couple of shades lighter in the room. She felt a presence in the doorway and gasped at first, thinking it might be Mark. When she saw Derek's muscular form lay down beside her she relaxed again. His body was turned towards her and his eyes were wide open. They seemed so full of questions, of sadness. Questions she couldn't answer and sadness she couldn't stifle. Her eyes probably had the exact same expression in them, because she could feel him trying to tell her without words that it would be okay. He reached for her hand and they held on to each other for their dear lives.

"We'll survive this, Meredith," his eyes were saying.

Meredith swallowed.

"I hope so, Derek," hers told him back.

"So where do you wanna go?" Meredith's overly cheerful voice was barely heard among the other hundreds of people that were currently making their way past them, chatting about anything and everything.

She and Derek were standing at the airport staring thoughtfully at the board containing a list of departures and arrivals. After packing their necessities into two large suitcases earlier that day they had both decided it was time for something new. A very long vacation or something, just to take their mind off of things.

The grabbing of stuff had been surprisingly easy and both Addie and Mark had done exactly like they had been told the night before. After that Meredith and Derek had made their way to the hospital, speaking a couple of words with the chief of surgery, Dr. Brian Kelley. The man was not at all pleased when he heard their plans of leaving the city, and made it very clear that if either Meredith or Derek did not show up on their next upcoming shift, there would be no work for them to come back to after their vacation.

So, the young man and woman decided that a entirely clean cut was not a bad idea, since returning to the hospital would unavoidably put them in the direct contact of their unfaithful spouses. Plus, the chief's words were usually empty threats and neither of the surgeons were scared of unemployment at this stage in their careers.

"I've got some contacts in Boston… And that's where you grew up, right?" Derek's voice was hoarse and he had dark circles under his eyes. Meredith couldn't remember a time where he had looked more pitiable than this moment.

"Mm… yeah, no. I'm never going back there again," she responded forcefully with a shudder. Her memories of Boston were not pleasant in the least, since they were mostly spent arguing with her horrible mother (famous surgeon, Ellis Grey) or taking drugs behind a toolshed with her boy toy of the week. Her pink hair and black clothes had not really made her approachable to the good crowd in school. There was a slightly awkward silence after her outburst.

"What about Vegas?" he looked a bit queasy at the thought alone. Meredith made an unhappy sound, grimaced and continued to look at the board.

"Oh I know! How about Seattle? I lived there when I was just a little girl." Her voice actually sounded a bit excited, despite the circumstances.

"Sure. I know the chief of surgery there, Richard Webber. He was my mentor in med school." Derek smiled a bit at the memory. Meredith bit her lip when she heard the name. This Richard Webber had also been her mom's adulterous lover who stayed with his wife even though Ellis herself left her husband for him. Meredith really didn't have many warm feelings for the man, but respected his work nonetheless.

"Yeah, I kind of know him too…" Meredith drifted off.

They were silent for a minute.

"So… Seattle?" Derek woke her up from her ponderings. She turned and smiled towards her friend.

"Seattle," she responded as she took his arm and they made their way towards the check-ins.