Chapter 4 – Downtown

I'm very sorry, alerted friends! Fanfiction keeps deleting this chapter, and hope I've finally got it working...

A/N: Okay, just so you know… There will be mentioning of certain game consoles like Gameboy and Nintendo 64 in this chapter and perhaps some to come. I am fully aware that by the time my characters were kids these consoles did not exist yet. (Not even close, actually...) Sorry about that! But I won't change it, so I would appreciate it if you could just ignore this small fact.
As always: Thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming :)

When you're alone and life is making you lonely,

You can always go, downtown

When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry

Seems to help, I know, downtown

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city

Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty

(Downtown – Petula Clark)

"Oh look! This one is kinda pretty…"

Derek grimaced slightly as he regarded what looked like a canvas smudged with droplets of the ketchup he had put on his sausage this morning, mixed with a few grains of pepper.

"Looks like lunch," he said simply and smiled when he heard Meredith sigh.

"Derek! How about some help here! Is food really all you think about?" she sounded irritated, but he could tell she was just teasing him.

"Sorry! Addie…" here he zoned out a bit. His face turned sad and he sighed deeply. Meredith patted his shoulder in a soothing motion.

Yes, right. Here we go again...

The subject of their cheating spouses had been blissfully avoided during their stay here in Seattle. The names Addison and Mark simply weren't said out loud. They were usually there in subtext, since both of them had been there in about ninety eight percent of Derek and Meredith's time spent together in the past. Saying the names out loud was just painful. It created pictures in their head. Ugly, ugly, painful, ugly pictures that were ugly and disgusting and painful. Ugly.

Derek coughed slightly when he felt Meredith's hand on his person. He pretended to inspect the ketchup painting in front of him with extreme intensity. His wet eyes dried soon enough and he gathered himself to that degree that he could continue the conversation.

"I just… She's a health nut. I wasn't allowed to eat what I wanted…" His voice was weak, but Meredith smiled warmly at him.

"Well, now you can." He met her gaze and smiled back at her.

"Now I can," he responded. They looked into nothing for a while, reminiscing and mourning for their past.

"So… Pizza?" Meredith sounded almost gleeful at the thought.

"God yes!" Derek turned to run out of the art gallery, where they were looking for paintings to purchase and place on the bare walls of their new/old house. He groaned in disappointment however when Meredith grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards the wall of artwork.

"Not before we find at least two more pieces. Then we can go!" Meredith smirked at his sour expression. He stuck his tongue out in to her and she gawked at his manners.

"Shepherd! I'm amazed they even let you into an OR. You belong in daycare." He snickered at this and stuck his finger in her side. She gasped and shoved his shoulder, effectively pushing him into another part of the gallery.

The bell dinged when she entered what she noticed was called "The Emerald City bar". Meredith was immediately hit with the amount of people that crowded the place. It was a only weekday, after all. In New York the bars were usually full to the brim, but seeing as Seattle was a considerably smaller city she had expected the crowd to be thinner.

Meredith noticed Christina almost directly. She was sitting at the bar with her head on her arms, two shot glasses already turned over in front of her. Meredith smiled.

"Oh this will be a fun night," her voice was amused. "My drinking buddy asleep on the table even before I got here. Really, thanks for the invitation!" Christina jumped slightly when she heard the voice. Then she relaxed again and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, it will take more than two shots for me to pass out. I'm basically immune." She shrugged and waved a hand to a kind-looking bartender who was standing a few chairs down.

"Oi, Joe! This lady needs a drink." The man named Joe smiled at Meredith and came directly over to them.

"Hi there," he said jovially to Meredith. "Haven't seen you around here before. Are you new?" Mer smiled back at him and sat down beside Christina.

"Meredith. Yes I am, as a matter of fact. I came here from New York yesterday morning. Me and my friend are starting at the hospital Monday morning." Joe nodded with interest.

"See, she needs a drink! She has been alone with her boyfriend for far too long to be enjoyable." Meredith stared incomprehensibly as Christina as she said this. The Asian lifted her eyebrows.

"What? McDreamy with the wavy hair and pretty eyes isn't your boyfriend?" Christina huffed. "Huh. That sucks… I've lost my touch." The other two laughed.

"So, what are you drinking?" Joe's asked Meredith as he continued to wipe some glasses with a towel.

"Tequila. Straight up," Meredith said. Christina's eyes widened.

"A woman after my own heart! I knew we would get along."

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were falling in love with me a little bit," Meredith winked at her companion. Christina snorted.

"You couldn't handle me," she laughed. Meredith joined in. She grabbed the shot glass Joe handed her and downed it quickly.

"You want to hear a pathetic story?" Meredith found herself saying. Suddenly she got in a sharing mood. Something about her new found friend seemed trustable, like she wouldn't kiss, tell or look all pitying about her predicament. Christina nodded vigorously.

"Please," she said in a monotone voice, her mouth curved in a slight smile.

The next morning found Meredith in a horrible mood. The amount of liquor that had flowed in her system the night before could have rivaled that of her drinking-phase in collage. She had had a hell of a good time though. Her and Christina had danced all night and flirted with boys from left to right. But now she had to suffer for it.

"Awghh… I hate my life!" Meredith's voice groaned where she sat on a chair in the kitchen. Derek stood rooted by the stove, cooking them some scrambled eggs. He laughed softly at her outburst.

"You look like absolute shit," he said nicely. Meredith threw a piece of toast at the back of his head.

Later that day Meredith were carrying some laundry towards the washing machine when she heard a noise coming from Derek's room. This was also the place where she had used to sleep as a kid, but she'd never told him that. She'd simply taken her mother's room for herself and was happy to not be reminded of the awful time she had always had between those four walls.

She walked closer to the closed door and listened intently.

"Oh… oh… ohh… oh yes! Yes! Just do it! Right there! Oh! YEEES!" His screams were extremely animated and Meredith didn't even register that she had opened the door before she had.

There on the middle of her old bed sat Derek Shepherd. His knees bent in front of him, a blanket on his legs and both his hands stuffed between his thighs. Meredith gaped in surprise. She felt an uncontrollable urge to laugh, but she held it inside as good as she could.

"I'M SORRY!" she yelped and turned her eyes away, unable to move her frozen body from the spot where she was standing. Derek shook himself out of his haze and looked up at Meredith's embarrassed face. Then he looked back at his hands, which were still tucked between his legs, and then back up again.

"Oh no… Meredith! It's not what it looks like…" he stammered desperately.

"No, it's Ok, Derek. I get it. A guy has needs…" She turned to leave the room, her vibrating shoulders betraying her silent laughter. Derek looked absolutely horrified.

"No we don't!" he yelled panicked. Meredith turned back around with raised eyebrows.

"Or… we do. Well, of course we do. B- but that's not what I…" His tone became frantic and he blushed when he saw Meredith's eyes become teary. Soon the bubbly laughter that he loved so much came tumbling out in waves and she had to put her hand to her stomach to not fall apart at the seams. Derek's face was incredible. Like he had eaten his first lemon and realized for the first time that it wasn't just a weirdly shaped orange.

When Meredith wouldn't stop laughing Derek did the only thing that came to his mind. He stood up, ran over to her and lifted her up in his arms. Meredith screamed in surprise and kicked with her legs. Derek tried and failed to hide his smile as he threw her onto his bed and started tickling her sides.

Meredith giggled like a little girl and grabbed a nearby cushion to defend herself.

"S-stop!" Derek did not react to this plea of mercy.

"Derek… Stop! Please… I… I can't… breathe" Meredith gasped between wiggling her body and laughing like a madwoman. Derek joined in and was currently trying to pry his fingers under her chin. When he heard her gasping for air he slowly reined in his attack and finally stopped before falling like an exhausted log beside her on the bed. They both lay panting in blissful silence as they tried to regain their thoughts.

"You know, Derek. I was married for four years. I know men… You don't have to explain yourself to me… I don't judge" Derek gave her an incomprehensive stare before finally a look of understanding fell in his eyes. He blushed deeply.

"Oh Mer…" he gave out a short embarrassed laugh. "I wasn't… you know. I was just…" He sighed. "Just… look," he said before thrusting the old Gameboy he had found in a nearby box into her unsuspecting hands. Meredith froze. Then her face slowly contorted into a smile of delight. She started pressing buttons and squealed when it came to life in her grip.

"This is my old Gameboy!" she laughed. "Wow… I haven't seen this in ages. Where did you find it?"

"Oh, I was just trying to make some room for my clothes and found it in a box in the closet," he smiled fondly.

They sat on the bed and took turns on playing for a while. Then a thought hit Meredith and she rushed off into the corridor outside. Derek stared at the place where she had once sat beside him. He jerked when he heard footsteps coming from the attic above him, and then a delighted shout reached his ears. Running footsteps came back towards his bedroom and he smiled with joy when he saw the Nintendo 64 Meredith was carrying in her hands.

"Come along, Shepherd. Let's play a game."