Chapter 9 – Desperado

A/N: Greetings, earthlings! The response to my last chapter was… awesome to say the least. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your suggestions. Your comments have given me so much inspiration that I have completely abandoned my schoolwork.
If I fail this upcoming exam, I blame you. Just sayin'.
Still, your support will surely comfort me through that particular pain. So… I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy

She'll beat you if she's able

You know the queen of hearts

Is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine things

Have been laid upon your table

But you only want the ones

That you can't get

(Desperado – The Eagles)

Derek slammed the front door shut with a loud bang.

Meredith opened her mouth to say something, but before she had the chance he had disappeared up the stairs and slammed the door once again, this time to his room.

So, there she was. Alone in the foyer feeling utterly confused and upset. She could feel a panic attack coming on and heard her breaths becoming more rapid without her control. She had known this would happen. Or… she hadn't known this particular event would occur… But she had sensed the reality coming creeping behind the corner. Yet, she had hoped. The small glimmer of joy that all was well had made it's way into her brain, and now it all came crashing that much harder. It just went to show that nothing good could ever happen without something biting her in the ass afterwards. Images of Mark and Addie in bed together resurfaced and tears threatened to break free from behind her closed eyelids. Still, she pushed them back. Even though she could hear Mark's words echoing in her head, she kept the dam closed. The whole meeting had been terrible.

They stood on different sides of the table, as if to create some sort of wall between them. Mark had his dark gray shirt on. The one she had bought for him last Christmas. That Christmas when she had fallen asleep in his lap after a wonderful evening with their best friends.

"Meredith… Me and Addison agreed that what we did was a big mistake." Meredith snorted at her husband's attempt.

"Oh. OH! Okay… All right Mark!" Meredith exclaimed sarcastically. "Thanks for saying that! Let's hug and make up before screwing and making some babies. Oh! And then let's invite Derek and Addie to the baby shower!" Her fake excited voice turned murderous and she narrowed her eyes dangerously. She could honestly say she had never been this angry since her mother had forbidden her from going on her Europe-trip before med school.

"I'm sensing some hostility and sarcasm," Mark seemed correctly frightened by her tone.

"Your perception is astounding, dear." The bitterness seeped from her mouth.

"So… I'm taking this as a sign that you're not happy to see me." Mark now looked properly afraid and discreetly backed as far as he could without actually touching the wall behind him. This reunion had not gone as well as he had planned.

"The fact that you made it through medical school is freaking wizardry!" Meredith yelled and threw a binder at him.

"You screwed my best friend!" she roared. Her whole body was shaking in anger. After making stiff greetings earlier in the corridor, each couple had walked into one conference room each to "talk" it all out. It had not started well.

"I know, and I'm sorry! Come on Mer. You can't stay mad at me forever!" Mark ducked expertly from the binder but was unsuccessful in dodging the flying stapler coming his way afterwards.

"Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow!" he moaned and touched his now bleeding cheek. Meredith growled in annoyance and rubbed her eye sockets with shaking fingers. She sighed deeply and banged her hand on the table before stalking around the table to stand before her husband. With stiff movements she removed his hand from his cheek and looked at the small wound. She sighed again and grabbed a nearby tissue to dry away the blood. Then she punched Mark hard in the chest with her fist and stalked out the room. She looked towards the other conference room and vaguely registered that she heard no yelling. Just as she was about to knock on the door Derek opened it and stepped out.

"We're leaving," he said flatly and Meredith had no choice but to follow after him as he stalked towards the hospital entrance. Before they were out the door though, a small and desperate voice reached them.

"Just think about it, Derek." Addison's voice was resigned and when Meredith turned around she found her oldest friend looking utterly exhausted. She had bags under her eyes and dried tears on her cheeks. Derek nodded stiffly in her direction without meeting her gaze and then suddenly they were both out of the madhouse and out in the open.

Meredith tossed and turned that night. Sleep seemed like an impossible goal. Not only had the two people she least wanted to see shown up to burst her happy little bubble, she was also alone in her bed. These last couple of weeks she and Derek had spent their nights intertwined in each other's arms. Now she felt the solitude keenly. Her bed was too empty. She was too empty. With a deep sigh she shook off the covers and stepped out on the cold wooden floor. Maybe tomorrow sleep would come.

Giving up, she decided to return to the hospital, for lack of other things to do. The drive passed by in a blur and before she knew it she was parked in the parking lot. Tiredly she strode into the hospital towards the E.R where she hoped to find some emergent case. On her way there she passed the corridor where the awful meet-up had happened. She was just about to rush past it when something shiny caught her eye. In the middle of the floor Meredith spied a small pile of broken glass shards. She vaguely remembered something crashing earlier and popping her and Derek's bubble. When she looked closer she found what looked like an irreparable pair of reading glasses.

Well… Meredith thought and chuckled ironically at it all. At least I can comfort myself with the fact that Addie won't be able to see anything for a while. Oh bummer. Maybe Mark can read her Cosmopolitans aloud for her... She giggled.

A few days passed by in which everything had changed. Meredith and Derek hardly spoke to each other, unless it was related to the hospital or the house. They did have an occasional banter, but the conversation never reached deeper than a cart on the Nintendo 64. Meredith thought she would go insane from all the drama. Her nerves were constantly on edge, expecting either Mark or Addie to walk out from behind a corner. It was exhausting, and it quickly became apparent to the hospital staff that something was not as it should be in the phenomenon that was the Grey/Shepherd club.

Work became the only hideaway for both of the world-renowned surgeons. Or… almost the only one. Two other friends helped to take the pressure off, and they spelled "S-C-O-T-C-H" and "T-E-Q-U-I-L-A".

"Oh, my love. I have missed you all day," Meredith murmured to her shot glass one slow evening at Joe's bar.

"I've missed you too," a sultry voice behind her responded, making her almost spray out the entire glass in a coughing fit. The man behind her sat down on the chair beside her and patted her affectionately on the back.

"Oh, that is very sexy, honey." He smirked. "I really like the dripping out of the nose thing. A real turn-on," he winked and smiled a lop-sided grin. Meredith glared at him, trying to dry herself up as best as she could with a napkin Joe threw her way.

"What are you doing here, Mark?" she enquired with an irritated voice. This was not how she had planned out the evening. She was supposed to spend the night drinking heavily until she couldn't remember her name. Then she would ask Joe to call a cab to take her home, where she would proceed to fumble and drop her keys. Then finally, giving up, she would fall asleep in the hammock until Derek woke her up the next morning to tell her they needed to go to work. No part of her plans involved Mark sitting down next to her, talking.

"I'm enjoying a drink with my wife," he responded simply to her question. Meredith snorted at the last word.

"I don't want to talk to you, Mark. Really, I don't even know what you thought you could accomplish by coming over here in the first place. How did you find me?" she asked and his smile disappeared. His hand scratched his stubble slightly as he thought of how to respond to her question.

"I… we spoke to Chief Kelley," he finally responded. "He said both you and… Derek had left the hospital because Richard Webber bribed you into becoming parts of his surgical staff." He flinched when he mentioned Derek's name, clearly thinking of the way he had found him and Mer tangled into each other like horny teens in the hospital corridor that night. Meredith's sympathy almost surfaced at this fact, but then she remembered why she had left New York in the first place and her mind turned sour once again. She didn't respond to his explanation, instead signing to Joe for a refill.

"So…" Mark continued awkwardly. "How have you been?" Meredith stared at him incredulously.

"Right. Dumb question, I'm sorry…" he said, itching the back if his neck absentmindedly. He was clearly uncomfortable, and it made Meredith feel a bit better.

"Why are you here, Mark?" she asked again.

"I just told you! I'm enjoying a…"

"No, not here. I mean why are you here? In Seattle," she asked quietly, downing her second shot glass of the evening. Mark cleared his throat and swallowed. He was not a man that liked to discuss his feelings. Seeming weak and needy was his greatest fear, something Meredith used to find endearing and somewhat ironic, seeing as she had spent most of their relationship mothering him discreetly when he couldn't make his own damn decisions.

"Well… I miss you, okay?" he muttered. "I've been stupid and a jackass. Didn't realize the good thing we had until I lost it, you know?" he said lowly, only for her ears. She almost found it cute that he was so embarrassed.

"I agree on the stupid and jackass-part," she responded flatly while her hands played absentmindedly with a piece of lime peel.

"I'm just sorry, Meredith, okay?" Mark sighed. His gaze was almost desperate. "I'll do anything to get you back," he murmured and took her hand in his. Meredith's heart melted a bit at the edges. He always was such a smooth-talker, which somehow always managed to wear her down. He had gotten her, the queen of commitment issues, to marry him after all. She smiled a bit at them memory. Then a thought hit her.

"I hear you, Mark. You want me back. I get it. Just… just answer me one thing," she said determinately.

"Anything," he responded seriously.

"You cheated on me literally months ago," she stated. "Why did you wait for so long to find me?" At this Mark looked a bit embarrassed. He fidgeted a bit on his bar stool and didn't meet her gaze for a while. Then he smiled awkwardly.

"Well, um. I obviously wanted to go sooner but… You know…" he trailed off. Meredith sighed tiredly and filled in the gaps.

"You didn't have the balls to come by yourself, so you waited for Addie to join you." She rolled her eyes and Mark smiled sheepishly at her before ordering a glass of whiskey.

"Oh Mark. I'm not taking you back," she sighed and put her chin in her hand. Mark's smile faltered a bit and he looked almost sad.

"You say that now," he responded and Meredith laughed at his arrogance. She then stood up and reached for the peanuts and when she sat down again Mark's smile was back to its normal filthy self.

"Seattle has done you good, Mer. Your ass is good enough to eat." Meredith snorted when she heard this.

"Oh, Mark. You really are a horrible human being," she said and swallowed another glass of tequila.

"And proud!" he exclaimed and waved for Joe to refill his glass. Meredith simply shook her head and continued to drink herself into a stupor.

"How did the talk with Addie go?" Meredith finally got up the courage to ask Derek. She was driving the both of them home from work and decided that this was as good a time as any to broach the subject. Derek seemed surprised. The topic had been taboo for so long between them and now Meredith had broken the barrier. He was a bit taken aback.

"Um, fine," he said simply and offered her a fleeting smile. Was it just her or did it seem a bit fake?

"Okay… what happened?" she pried and smiled back. "Mark asked for me to take him back. I threw office supplies at him."

"Eh, well. That's good." Derek answered, absently fiddling with a piece of thread that had ripped from his dark green sweater. Meredith thought he looked especially tasty today, with a longer stubble than usual and a pair of nice fitting jeans that showed off his butt beautifully. She waited a moment for him to continue but nothing came.

"…Derek?" she asked and he looked up, startled.

"What? Oh yes, well. She said she missed me and all that, you know." He laughed lowly and ran a hair through his hair. Meredith bit her lip distractedly as she tried not to concentrate on the way she knew those locks felt in her hands. She felt a flash of desire course through her core.

"Did she ask for you to take her back?" Meredith continued patiently. Derek looked out the car window and sighed, a bit frustrated.

"What's with the twenty questions?" he muttered. "Yeah, she did. I said I would think about it, okay?" Derek was clearly annoyed. Meredith's brow furrowed. That was not what she expected.

"Wait, you said you'd think about it?" she asked incredulously. "Derek, she slept with your best friend! What is there to think about?"

Derek sighed, irritated. "Look, it's between me and her, okay?" He said, trying to keep calm. There was a pause in which Meredith held her breath in case he decided to continue. When he did his voice was quieter than before. He seemed almost sad. "Me and Addie have been married for 8 years. Together for 11… I can't just throw that away in a flash."

Derek smiled with a hint of melancholy in his eyes. "Of course I'm not planning on taking her back, but I won't break her heart without at least taking a while to think it over." He sighed heavily and looked pointedly at his driver. "And a little support from you would be nice."

Meredith threw a short but serious look back at him. She swallowed back the dread she felt at his hesitation. He's just being fair. It's nothing to worry about.

"Fine," she said with finality. The rest of the car ride was spent in tense silence.