Quick note! It's so strange to me that so many people are enjoying this story, and wanting to know what's going to happen next! It's really an awesome feeling, so thank you guys so so much!
I'm really proud of this chapter, I think it's my favorite so far. Anyway. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
(Also, thank you so SO much Abby, for being my amazing beta and catching all my silly mistakes *mwah*)
Rumple didn't know how long they sat in silence, his mind racing, before he was finally able to ask about Belle. He was afraid to say anything, knowing he wouldn't like what he was going to hear. On the subway, Jane had said her mother was dying. He didn't want to hear that. He didn't want that to be true. But Jane had said it herself before she even knew who he was, "He needs to know." So he sat, and he listened, and he stopped trying to fight the tears that were pouring down his cheeks as his daughter explained why her mother, and his true love, was dy-…unwell.
Through the heavy fog clouding his mind, and the low ringing in his ears, he was able to get the gist of what he was hearing. Judging by the ease with which Jane spoke, it was obvious she had said the same words too many times to count. Rumple didn't understand most of her seemingly extensive medical vocabulary, but he understood enough.
Jane slowly explained that a little less than a year ago, after almost a month of extreme pain in her left leg and three doctors telling her it was nothing, Belle finally found a doctor that was willing to listen to her concerns. She was sent for x-rays the same day, and they showed exactly what this doctor suspected. The bones of her left leg were being attacked by a rare form of bone cancer called Osteosarcoma. After another slew of tests, and agonizingly waiting for the results of said tests, she was told that it was "localized" and it could be removed; but of course it wouldn't be that easy.
Soon after her diagnosis, Belle was started on chemotherapy –an extra precaution before surgery.
"It was so bad…" Jane said, shaking her head as she stared at the book in her lap, tracing the twisted vines of gold-leaf with the tip of her finger. "You probably already know, but mom was never sick…I can only remember like two times I'd seen her throw up from the flu."
Rumple nodded and looked down at his hands, remembering the one time in all of their years together that he had seen Belle sick. She had gotten food poisoning from that ridiculous little hole-in-the-wall Italian place that no one in Storybrooke ever seemed to go to. He had sat with her on the floor of their bathroom and held her hair as she emptied her stomach into the toilet. The sight of her in such discomfort and knowing he would have to let it run its course had felt like a punch to the gut, but he'd tended to her as best he could until she was well again. That must have been the reason no one ate there. Rumple mused, before looking back to Jane for her to continue.
"After she started the chemo…God…I'd never seen her like that. She was sick every day. She started losing her hair. She was so weak...She just looked defeated. I've seen a lot of crazy things, but nothing ever scared me more than that." She looked up at Rumple then, who was staring at his hands, tears flowing freely from his eyes and dripping into his upturned palms.
"It's my fault," He breathed, closing his eyes. "If I'd have come back…If I wasn't such a coward, maybe I could have stopped it…saved her."
"No…you couldn't have stopped it; we tried. The price would have been too much, she wouldn't let us."
Rumple let out a kind of strangled chuckle at that. "Of course she wouldn't…stubborn woman." He closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, composing himself, before his brows knit and he turned his attention back to Jane. "What do you mean "we"? Who exactly is "we"?" he questioned
"Ah yeah…that would be Emma and…me." She practically whispered the last word, her bottom lip quivering as she waited for his response to yet more unexpected news.
"You-you have…You have magic?" he said leaning closer, nearly choking on his shock
"Well not right now obviously…"land without magic" and all…but being the product of true love happens to come with some pretty great light magic," Jane replied with just a hint of mirth, wiggling her fingers out in front of her.
"You'll have to tell me about that later," Rumple smirked. "But right now, Belle," he said, his face sobering again.
"Right…" Jane mumbled, toying with the edges of the book again. "Well…she went through chemo for 2 months. Then they did a surgery that was supposed to remove the cancerous part of the bone, but after that and another six months of chemo, and they found more cancer in the tissue around the bone…" She paused, looking to Rumple to take gauge his reaction so far.
"Go on…" he urged, running a hand through his hair, attempting in vain to calm the anxiety clawing at him from the inside out.
"You aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you…" Jane warned, her expression serious, as if she was giving him a choice.
But he didn't have a choice, and even if he did, he'd choose Belle. God knows he should have done that long ago. "Dearie, I haven't liked anything you've told me so far…" He paused for a moment, breathing in and out through his nose. "Jane…I need to know."
Jane sighed deeply, and turned her gaze once again to the gold-leaf edges of the book in her lap. "After…after they found more cancer…they told us they would continue chemo, but there was no guarantee that it would work…so she made the hard choice."
Rumple noticed that she took an overly deep, slow breath through her nose, obviously steeling herself for whatever she was about to say. So he braced himself as best he could, for the absolute worst.
"She…she decided to have her leg…amputated. That was a month ago." Jane sighed, as though some great weight had been lifted.
"What…" Rumple blinked.
"She had her leg amputated. Removed. Cut off. It's gone," Jane said, a hint of an annoyed tone creeping its way into her otherwise calm voice.
"That's it?"
"What do you mean 'That's it'?! She lost her leg! That's kind of a huge deal!" Jane snapped, standing from her seat on the couch.
"Jane…" Rumple said softly, rising from his seat to stand next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Do you honestly think I place the value of a leg above that of a life? Above the life of the woman I love? Jane as long as your mother is alive I wouldn't care if she had no arms or legs, or grew a tail, as long as she's alive." He added with a small smile, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before releasing it.
"So you do love her?" Jane asked, her voice just above a whisper.
"Gods, of course I love her!" Rumple responded, flopping back down on the couch. "I never stopped loving her…"
"Then you'll come back with me? To Storybrooke?" Jane asked carefully.
Rumple visibly tensed at that. "I don't know if I sho-"
"You should. You love her and she loves you. All you have to do is come back with me…"
"It's not that simple…The last time we saw each other…" Rumple trailed off, running a hand down his face. "I doubt she wants to see me…"
Jane scoffed...and rolled her eyes.
I know where she got that. Rumple mused, almost smirking at the thought.
"You know Aunt Ruby right?" Jane asked, arms crossed, staring down at Rumple.
"Aunt Ruby?"
She rolled her eyes again. "Do you know Ruby or not?"
"Yes…Belle and Ruby were very close. I'm guessing they still are if you call her 'Aunt Ruby'," Rumple shrugged, "But what does she have to do with this?"
"Well…right before my mom's surgery –the amputation- I overheard her talking to Ruby."
*One month ago in StoryBrooke*
"Ruby, I'm so scared," Belle breathed, gripping her friends hand tighter.
"I know…listen honey, everything is going to go fine. Dr. Stevenson has done the same surgery a dozen times; he knows what he's doing," Ruby assured, laying herself next to Belle on the wide hospital bed and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah…I know. And I want this; I know this is the best choice. It's not that, it's just…never mind, it's ridiculous," Belle replied, snuggling closer to rest her head on Ruby's shoulder.
"Belle you know you can tell me anything. What's going on?" Ruby said, leaning forward and turning to look at her friend.
"I know I shouldn't still feel like this…I know I shouldn't miss him…" Belle began. Ruby nodded slowly, her mouth forming an "O" shape.
Neither of the women had heard Jane arrive at the doorway a few minutes ago, and when she heard what her mother said, Jane was quick to hide herself. She knew she shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but she couldn't find it in herself to move once her mother spoke again.
"I just wish…I just wish Rumple was here, Ruby. And I know I shouldn't. I know I have you and Jane, and even Emma and Snow have been so wonderful to me…" Belle began, her voice starting to waver. "I just need him," she whimpered, wiping a few stray tears from her cheeks.
Ruby gently pulled Belle into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "It's okay to miss him. True love doesn't just go away. You can't just stop feeling it…even if you want to." She sighed, briefly reminded of her own true love.
Belle sniffed and wiped under her eyes again, pulling out of the embrace and sitting back in the bed. "You know what the worst part is though? The worst part is that I remember every part of him. I remember how he smelled, how he walked. Ruby I even remember how he brushed his teeth; that's ridiculous."
Ruby took Belle's hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You know, Belle…you could find him. After all this is over, you could go find him. Hell, I'd even come with you if you want," Ruby suggested with a hopeful smile.
"No. No. He could be anywhere Ruby! It's been fifteen years! And even if by some insane circumstance I did find him, there's no way he would still love me. Ruby you know what I did! I'm the reason he's gone! And Jane! I'm the reason he doesn't know his own daughter! How would he ever forgive me for that!?" Belle cried, slumping down on the pillows behind her.
"You know exactly where he would go. New York's not that far…and I may not be the guy's biggest fan, but I know he could never stop loving you. I've never seen anyone look at someone the way he looked at you."
Maybe Ruby was right. Maybe Rumple was in New York, and maybe he did still love her. But Belle couldn't afford to think like that. In her mind there was a good chance he didn't love her, and that kind of heartbreak was not something that she wanted to go through again.
At some point during her story, Jane had sat back down on the other end of the couch, again fingering the gold edges while she spoke. When she finished she looked back up at Rumple, who was leaned over, elbows on his knees, staring at his feet with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Well? Believe me now?" Jane asked, leaning forward to try to catch his attention.
He still said nothing.
"Rumplestiltskin? Did you hear any of that?" Jane questioned, letting her hands fall heavily on the book on her knees.
Still he wordlessly stared at his feet.
"Hellooo? DAD!" Jane shouted, waving her hand in front of his eyes.
He lifted his head then –finally- and blinked at her.
"Were you listening to anything I just said?" Jane exclaimed.
"Sorry-sorry yes…I just…I just needed to clear my head for a moment," Rumple responded quickly. "I don't understand…after everything I did, how she can still love me? How can she think that I would stop loving her?"
Suddenly the sound music filled his small apartment, stopping him from continuing.
"I lost my head in San Francisco- Waiting for the fog to roll out- But I found it in a rain cloud- it was smiling down."
Jane rushed over to where her backpack was, unzipping a pocket and pulling out her ringing smartphone.
"Well why don't you ask her?" she said, showing him the device.
Confused, Rumple leaned forward and squinted at the glowing screen, gasping at what he saw.
The photo staring back at him was of a woman, she was smiling despite the dullness of her blue eyes, her face was pale and thin, she was wearing a colorful scarf wrapped around her head, and he immediately recognized her. The words above the photo confirming what he already knew.
Mom Calling.
Another little note; I know Osteosarcoma is most commonly found in children, but it was the only cancer I could think of that would work for where I wanted to go with this, and although it's not common, it can be found in older adults.
I did do quite a bit of research on Osteosarcoma for this because I want it to be as accurate as possible, so if I got anything wrong please let me know. :)
And as always, please fav and review! xx