Tiny little note:
I'm SO sorry this chapter took so long! This chapter just did not want to be written. I wasn't sure about it at first, but it actually ended up being longer than any previous chapters, and one of my favorite chapters thus far. :)
This chapter takes place the same day that Jane ran away/found Rumple.
Belle woke with a start from another particularly unpleasant dream. Groggy from her abruptly ended sleep, she turned her head to check the time. 9:45.
Letting her head sink back into her pillow, she tried to steady her breathing and calm the panic that came along with these kinds of dreams.
The dreams were no doubt a side-effect of one of the drugs she had been on since the surgery. While they seemed to be occurring less and less, when she did have one it was always worse than the last, and they were almost always about Jane.
This time they were at the town line. Jane was walking slowly toward it, and as hard as she tried, Belle couldn't call out to her. When she tried to reach out for her daughter, Jane only drifted father away. Belle tried to run to Jane, but she simply collapsed, unable to move as her daughter melted away into the blue glow of the invisible wall cursing the town-line.
Belle shuddered at the memory of the dream, and the memory that caused the dream.
Of course, she didn't need to worry about the town-line anymore. The curse had been broken years ago, allowing the people of StoryBrooke to come and go safely, while still hiding the town from the outside world and the danger of strangers wandering into their magical little town.
There were still dangers though; wherever there's magic there will always be dangers. These dangers, however, paled in comparison to what Storybrooke had seen before- Well it was probably a coincidence that they lessened after… Yes it was definitely a coincidence.
At any rate, Jane wasn't in danger. So Belle shook off the unpleasant feelings left by the dream, and sat up, attempting to wake up enough to get out of bed. Jane would have gone to school hours ago, but Ruby would be coming over any minute, so at least she didn't have to face an empty house after her nightmare.
She and Ruby had always been close, but after she found out she was pregnant they grew even closer; as strange as it sounded, Ruby had taken on the role of best friend, sister, and mother all at the same time. She went to all the doctor's appointments, all the ultrasounds, had soothed all the raging hormones, had helped with all the shopping –helped was an understatement. She had practically designed the nursery herself-, and of course, she had been there when Jane entered the world.
Ruby had gone through it all with Belle, so it was only fitting that she would do the exact same thing when Belle got sick. Ruby had been through hell with her, and there was comfort in knowing she wouldn't be going anywhere.
As if on cue, before Belle had even reached for her crutches, she heard the telltale sound of keys rattling at the front door, followed by a loud "Morning!" from her friend. Moments later her bedroom door swung open and in rushed a very bundled up Ruby.
"You're still in bed?! Are you okay?! You must not be okay if I was up before you," Ruby teased, shedding her gloves, hat, and scarf, shoving them in the pockets of her coat -which was immediately deposited on top of Belle's dresser- before running into the adjoined bathroom. "Just a sec , I had like 600 cups of coffee this morning and I haven't peed since I left home!" she shouted from the bathroom.
"Oh GOD. What has this world come to!? Ruby Lucas is awake before Belle Gold!?" Belle cried dramatically, throwing her arms in the air, and throwing the comforter off her torso in the process.
"Oh shut up!" Ruby called from the bathroom, causing Belle to roll her eyes and snort at the ridiculousness of the situation.
"Gods how long are you going to be in there? Did you literally have 600 cups of coffee?" Belle murmured, reaching for the crutches that were leaned against the wall just out of reach. Of course, Belle thought bitterly when the crutches promptly fell in the opposite direction the moment she touched them. She cursed under her breath and swung her leg over the edge of the bed, using the night table as leverage to pull herself up.
Hopping on her good leg (Only leg…she forgot that sometimes), she slowly made her way around to where her crutches lay on the ground. Now she couldn't very well bend over and pick them up, so she tried squatting down, one hand still holding tightly to the edge of the night table-
"What… are you doing?" Ruby said flatly, startling Belle at how close she had managed to get without a sound.
Shit.
"I was just getting my crutches…they fell," Belle replied just as flatly.
Ruby sighed... Gods she hated it when Ruby sighed like that.
"Belle…I know you want to do things on your own but yo-"
"I know. I can't," Belle grumbled as she stood –with the help of Ruby's arm looped through hers.
After Belle was standing, still using the night table as support, Ruby bent and retrieved the crutches, much to the quiet annoyance of Belle.
"I hate this," Belle said quietly, taking the crutches from Ruby.
"I know. But hey-" Ruby started, putting her hand gently on Belle's arm. "It won't be for much longer! You know Emma and Geppetto have been working on your prosthetic," she continued, giving Belle's arm a squeeze.
Emma and Geppetto had been working on a prosthetic since before her leg was even removed, taking measurements and photographs of the leg from all angles for reference. Geppetto was crafting the leg itself from wood, carving and sanding until it near perfectly resembled the shape of her real leg, and Emma was enchanting it to move more life-like than a simple wooden leg. That did make Belle feel better.
"Emma even said she'd make sure you'd be able to wear heels again! After some practice of course…but still!"
Ruby's constantly hopeful mood had gotten Belle out of countless funks, and it was doing its magic right now. "You're right…" Belle smiled, "And I know it's okay to need help… I just hate feeling so helpless. I just want to do things," she sighed.
"Well…I was thinking we'd go tomorrow. But I think it'll be the perfect thing to make you feel better today," Ruby said, grinning wildly. "Get dressed! We're going to the library!"
Going to the library was an amazing idea. Belle hadn't been in weeks, and she had already read every book Jane brought home; twice.
Although Belle's spirits had drooped for a second time that morning when she needed Ruby's help to get into her dress, they were immediately renewed once she stepped foot in the library. The scent of a library was something that would never fail to lift Belles spirits, and Ruby knew this.
With a grin, Ruby pulled the oldest looking book she could find from the nearest shelf, flipping to the middle and thrusting it into Belles face. "Sniff!" she insisted.
Belle giggled and breathed deeply, letting the heavy scent of must and what she had always thought of as the scent of knowledge, fill her nostrils. Maybe today won't be too bad after all. She thought, letting her small grin turn into a full smile.
The trip to the library was a success. Belle felt better than she had in days –despite being quite tired from the extra exertion, she had a new stack of books to conquer, and on top of that, Emma had just called to tell her that she would be able to test her prosthetic as early as tomorrow morning. It was shaping up to be a great day.
By the time 4 o'clock rolled around, Belle was half-way through some out of date book on the workings of cinematography and Ruby was getting ready to go home when Belle's phone lit up with a text from Jane.
I'm gonna spend the night at Alex's tonight. We have a group project this week that we need to work on. That ok?
Belle absolutely did not buy that excuse.
If there was a group project, she would have heard about it; and she hadn't. Belle wasn't really even sure why Jane would need to make up an excuse to spend the night with her best friend, but she deserved a night away once in a while; Alex's house was practically a second home for Jane anyway.
Yes that's fine. Have fun baby girl. Love you 3
"Hey Ruby?" Belle called once she had sent her reply. "What do you think about an impromptu girl's night in?"
Four hours, three containers of take out, and two movies later, both women were sprawled out on Belle's bed. They had lost interest in the third movie half an hour ago, instead discussing the events of the next day. Ruby would come by at 10:30 to take both Jane and herself to Geppetto's shop. The fitting would take around an hour, and they would all go to lunch afterwards. Jane would have to skip school, but Belle had a feeling her daughter wouldn't mind that one bit.
Oh!
Suddenly Belle realized Jane would have to actually know about these plans if she was going to come. "Crap! I need to tell Jane to come home in the morning," Belle said, grabbing her phone and typing out a quick text explaining tomorrow's plans to her daughter.
Minutes passed, then half an hour, and still no response from Jane.
Belle knew the girls weren't asleep. It wasn't even 9 o'clock! Which meant that Jane was either ignoring her or hadn't seen the text. Either way, Belle wanted Jane to come with her tomorrow, so she needed to make sure she would be home before 10:30.
Picking up her phone again, Belle dialed Ella's phone number. After a few rings, she picked up.
"Hey it's Belle. I didn't wake you up did I?"
"Oh no it's perfectly fine! Thomas and I were just finishing a movie. What did you need?"
"Could you just let Jane know I need her to be home before 10:30 tomorrow? I'm getting a prosthetic fitted and I want her to be there with me." Belle smiled at the thought of finally being able to do things with her daughter. They could go for morning hikes like they used too, or walk to get ice cream. Just walking in general sounded amazing, but she was yanked out of her thoughts by Ella's voice.
"Jane isn't here."
"It's a little late for the girls to be going out by themselves don't you think?" She was almost annoyed with Ella for letting her daughter leave the house at this time of night without asking her first. Storybrooke may be a small town, but that doesn't mean it's safe for 15 year old girls to be walking around at night alone.
"No, Belle, Jane hasn't been over tonight. Alex is sitting right here." Ella's worried tone nearly sent Belle into a panic.
"Can I talk to Alex?"
She heard a bit of rustling, and Ella's muffled voice telling Alex that Jane's mom wanted to talk to her. Ella still sounded worried, which only spurred on Belle's panic.
"Hey Mrs. Gold. What's going on? Is Jane okay?"
Belle felt her stomach tighten and her toes and finger numb, signs of an oncoming panic attack. That would definitely not be helpful in this situation. Ruby must have noticed because she squeezed her arm, a concerned look on her face, and mouthed what's going on?
"Alex, Jane said she was coming to your house tonight to work on a group project."
"We don't have a group project." -She knew it- "And Jane's not here."
Suddenly she felt light headed; the panic was worsening by the second, and it must have been showing on her face, because Ruby looked even more concerned.
"Alex. Do you have any idea where she could be?"
"No, I'm really sorry Mrs. Gold. Jane didn't tell me if she was going anywhere."
Belle knew the girl wouldn't lie to her, especially when it came to the whereabouts of Jane. "Ok. Thank you Alex."
"Wait! Belle, can you please tell me if you find her?"
Alex rarely used Belle's first name –even though Belle insisted that something as formal as "Mrs. Gold" wasn't necessary. She was obviously very worried about Jane too. "I will. I'll tell you as soon as I know anything." And with that she hung up.
Belle turned to Ruby, the panic evident on her face. "Ruby, Jane lied to me. She's not at Alex's! She's not answering my texts! She could be in trouble! Or hurt!"
"Belle! Breathe. You have to breathe like Archie showed you okay?" Ruby said as calmly as possible, bringing herself to sit cross legged in front of Belle. "Remember how Archie showed you? Breathe with your belly. Just breathe." Ruby soothed, rubbing her hands up and down Belles arms.
Once Belle was breathing normally Ruby spoke again. "How about you try calling her?"
That probably would have been a good idea 10 minutes ago.
"O-ok. You're right. It's probably nothing. She probably just went to Granny's with Phillip or something. I just need to call her." She took a long, deep, calming breath, before picking up her phone for the third time and dialing her daughter's phone number.
And it just. Kept. Ringing.
It was nearly unbearable.
"Answer it!" Jane cried, thrusting the phone into Rumple's face again.
"No! She's calling you! Remember she doesn't even know you're here?! Or that you're with me?!" Rumple nearly shouted, jumping –or as close as he could get to jumping with his leg- from the couch and pacing in front of it.
Belle was calling their daughter. Their daughter was standing in his living room. He has a daughter. Who is currently standing in his living room. Being called by Belle. Who is the mother of his daughter. This has to be a dream.
But it wasn't a dream, and he knew that, and the phone was still ringing.
"Jane you have to answer it. You have to tell her where you are. She must be worried sick!"
Jane shot him and glare and made some kind of grumble of annoyance, then brought the phone to her ear.
And the ringing stopped, and he momentarily thought about the fact that Belle was on the other side of that phone, and according to Jane, she missed him. But he shook the thought from his mind, he couldn't let himself think like that; he couldn't let himself believe that she could still love him. That stopped though, when he heard the muffled sound of Belle's voice coming from Jane's phone. She sounded desperate, hysterical almost. And all he wanted to do in that moment was go to her. Go to her and hold her and comfort her, tell her everything would be fine; just like he had done so many nights, so many years ago, when nightmares would plague her sleep and leave her sobbing into his chest.
He wasn't listening to the words being said, no, he couldn't focus on anything but the sound of Belle's voice. He could tell Jane was telling her where she was, who she was with, but he still only heard Belle's voice. Fifteen years. It had been fifteen years since he heard that voice. The voice that echoed in his mind every second of day, the voice that haunted his dreams…and his nightmares. But it was also the voice that had spoken sweetly in his ear in the dead of night, the voice that had moaned his name when they made love, the voice that told the silliest jokes that had never failed to make him laugh.
He knew then, what he had to do. No matter how hard a part of him fought, no matter how much he wanted to run, this was his chance. Twice he had the chance to choose Belle, and both times he lost her. This time would be different; it had to be.
Suddenly he was pulled from the abyss of his thoughts, a hand on his shoulder yanking him into the present.
"Rumplestiltskin?" Jane began gently.
He focused his vision, she was still holding the phone to her ear, and he realized that he had stopped pacing and was now standing idle in the middle of his living room.
"Hey, you in there?" she continued a bit louder, but still gentle.
He couldn't speak, only nod and try desperately to listen to her words.
"Listen…My mom wants to talk to you okay? Can you talk to her for just a minute?" Jane asked softly, as if talking to a frightened animal. And he supposed he wasn't acting much different than one at the moment. But he had to push his fear aside, because Belle wanted to talk to him. He was about to talk to Belle for the first time in fifteen years. And he had no idea what he was going to say. So he just prayed to every god he didn't believe in for strength, and brought the phone to his ear.
It was a good thing Jane told her mother that she was handing him the phone, because he was completely silent.
"Rumplestiltskin?"
Chills ran through every inch of his body at hearing her voice so clearly.
"Rumplestiltskin are you there?"
He wasn't sure what did it, maybe the gods, maybe sheer willpower, but he somehow choked out a broken "Yes."
"You listen to me. You are going to get my daughter home safely. Our daughter. Got it?" Belle said with feigned confidence and crumbling composure.
"Y-yes…Yes of course," he breathed, hoping that she heard him, or that he even spoke out loud.
"Good then." Her voice was quieter now, the tiny shred of confidence gone. "I guess…I guess I'll see you both when you get here then." Her voice broke at the end, and he briefly pictured her, tears beginning to breach her eyes; he knew that look well.
"Yeah…"
What else was he supposed to say? I'm still in love with you. I forgive you. I choose you. No. He couldn't say any of that. That could wait until he could look into her eyes.
"I'm going to go…Rumple…take care of our daughter."
He could hear the strain in her voice, the fear, and it struck him like a blow to the chest.
Then somehow he gathered enough strength, and the moment before she hung up, he spoke.
"Belle wait…" he sputtered. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say, he just needed to hear her voice a little longer. "I…It was nice to hear your voice again."
She said nothing, and for a moment he panicked. Was that too much? Too far?
"It was nice to hear your voice too, Rumple." And then there was a beep, and she was gone.
He inwardly smiled and his chest bubbled with hope.
Maybe this could work.