Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson, Matt Granger, and the other characters not found in the television show are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

The Eyes of the Father

Chapter Ten

After donning clean underwear, a fresh t-shirt and athletic pants, Sarah attempted to pull her fingers through her hair. Opening the drawer, she found Matt's comb and gingerly worked through her tangles. Next, she went looking for a hair dryer, vaguely wondering if she would be successful. Matt never dries his hair. Finally she found a dryer in the box with the cleaning supplies.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she found Matt, barefoot and also dressed in a t-shirt and athletic pants, putting the last of the pans back in the box where they had been packed a few days earlier. Not only had he cooked dinner, but he had already cleaned up the mess.

"You must be hot. The furnace is cranked up."

"I'm fine." He stepped towards her. "I made us some spaghetti. We can eat on the couch. You'll be warmer there. There's a sweatshirt and you can wrap up in a blanket. Go get comfortable and I'll bring your plate."

Sarah found the coffee table had been set with placemats, napkins, silverware, and water glasses. After pulling on the thick, oversized sweatshirt, she draped the afghan from the couch over her lap and curled up in the corner of the sofa, her feet tucked beneath her. Although she had put clean socks on her feet, they were chilled once again. The cramping had eased, but the cold knot in her middle had not gone away. Gazing at the Christmas tree, she felt an ache in her chest as she thought of the time they had spent together decorating the little tree, then dancing together afterwards. "You lit the tree while I was in the shower."

"I plug in the lights whenever I'm home. It makes me feel less lonely for you when we're not together."

"I'm glad I gave it to you, then." Sarah's smile wobbled.

"It was a sweet idea. I was planning to take it down tonight, but I'll do it tomorrow." Handing her a plate of spaghetti with some steamed vegetables on the side, Matt set his own plate on the table and sat down next to her. His expression was now contrite. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Don't cry. She bit her lip.

"I was so angry with you for disappearing like that. I should have been more compassionate. Will you forgive me?"

Looking down at the plate in her hands, Sarah watched as tears started to drop onto her food. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I never meant to upset anyone. I should have brought my phone and called you. When I remembered it, I was afraid to go back. I just can't face my dad right now."

Taking the plate, Matt placed it on the table before reaching for her. He sighed with relief when she threw off the afghan and scrambled onto his lap.

"Oh, I needed this." Her words came out in a sob.

Wrapping his arms tightly around Sarah, Matt held her while she cried softly onto his shoulder. "I needed this, too. I can't remember ever being angry with you before. I had been worried sick about you. We had no clue where you were. I let my imagination get away from me. It took all my resolve not to fall apart in front of your parents. Then, when I saw you standing there, in one piece, I felt anger surging up inside of me."

When Sarah looked up at Matt's face, she was surprised to see tears there. "I'm so sorry. I hate that I made you angry."

"But I forgive you." He kissed her forehead, then her mouth before leaning his forehead against hers. "I'm just glad you were safe."

"I didn't realize how long I'd been gone. I just had to get away." She rested her head against his shoulder again. "You said you'd never been angry at me before. I've never been mad at my dad before. Not like this. Frustrated, maybe. Not angry. And I felt guilty. He saved my life. I was so overwhelmed at remembering everything finally. I didn't know what to do. How to process it. I still don't."

"I thought that's what it might be. Your dad said something about Leatherneck's assistant using the old obstacle course pop-ups by accident. I can just imagine now what happened."

"I had to make a split-second decision not to shoot my own father. Only, in that split-second, I suddenly realized that he had fired at me and Santiago—I had a flashback, I guess. I couldn't finish the simulation. I had to get out of there."

"I can see that. And I know the depositions have been really hard for you this week. But as for trying to deal with it, that's what I'm here for. You're not alone. We're going to be married, knowing each other intimately. You should be able to share things with me, not run away. I have a right to know where you are—or at least have a general idea of what your plans are."

"That's why I came here. I needed you." Sarah's voice was small as she responded to his rebuke.

Matt nodded in understanding, his voice remorseful as he spoke. "And I was angry. I know I frightened you. I'm sorry." He kissed her hair.

"Please don't apologize. I should have called you and told you what I was doing. I'm sorry for worrying you so badly."

"I forgive you." He ran his hand down her arm.

"You know, your mom called while you were in the shower. She said to go easy on you. She already had you all figured out. Something about being in your shoes once before."

"She called? I'm glad she's not upset with me. This isn't her fault. I just don't know how to face Daddy. The entire time I was out running, I kept replaying the vision of him coldly pointing the gun at me. I know he wasn't aiming at me, but I can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had missed."

"Sarah, his aim was perfect. He went into operative mode. He's been an agent longer than you or I have been alive. He could only see one choice. It was either that or losing you. Or worse. The guy would have had my knife in his gut if I had had the strength to throw properly. As it was, I only made a dent in him."

Sliding off of his lap, Sarah brought her legs up so she could sit cross-legged. She regarded Matt. "I can remember you throwing the knife. You were barely able to stand up, let alone throw. But say you had not been injured. Would it really have been worth killing someone and possibly hitting me?"

"One of those men held an agent at knifepoint and nearly had his way with her. They're animals." He passed a hand over his eyes. "Please, let's not dwell on this. I'll go heat our dinners back up."

After they ate quietly together, Matt brought two mugs of hot chocolate to the couch. "I know it's not tea, but my girl gave it to me."

Chuckling, Sarah took a steaming mug and held it in her hands. "In a couple of weeks you'll have tea in your cupboard, too. I won't get through my stash by then."

"We will have lots of things in our cupboards. And I'm hoping my future wife will bake me muffins on a regular basis. That's how she won me over."

"I knew it was the cooking." Sarah offered Matt a wry smile. "Although you did pretty well on your own tonight. I'm impressed you had all this on hand. I guess I didn't notice what you were putting in the pantry box the other day."

"Oh well, before I met you, I got in the habit of keeping some basic ingredients around. I get tired of takeout. And you know I don't like frozen meals."

"Neither do I. It was very good. Thank you." Sarah leaned toward him and kissed his cheek, and then sat back again. "I've been really self-centered this evening. How was your deposition?"

"It was okay. Honestly, with the training I've had on hostile interrogations, it wasn't that bad."

Sarah laughed. "Really? You had to use your interrogation training to get through it?"

Matt raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. "Call it a coping mechanism. I answered the questions, but I didn't let her get to me." He looked in Sarah's face, remembering something. A shadow passed over his eyes. "…for the most part. I have to admit that it got to me when she made it sound like it was my fault they attacked us. The fact is, what she said was kind of true. As an agent, I should have had the common sense to keep you somewhere safe."

"Like a bird in a cage? For how long would that have gone on?" It was Sarah's turn for her face to cloud over. "Except it wasn't completely over that day, and you almost died. Those men came after us and attacked us." She shuddered at the memory.

"It's behind us now. We need to move on." He ran a hand through his hair. "Are you warming up yet?" Matt reached over and touched her face. Then, grasping her ankles, he drew her feet onto his lap and started massaging them.

"Oh, that feels good. I have to admit I'm pretty sore. At least I don't have blisters."

"You're still cold. It must be the long run you had. You can't keep yourself warm." He was thoughtful, as if he was struggling with some decision.

"I'm figuring you're planning to drive me home. You weren't too keen on me running there earlier."

"Of course you're not running home. It's dark out, it's below freezing, and you're exhausted."

Flushing slightly, Sarah looked down at her lap. "Actually, I don't want to go home right now. I know that my dad would come over to the apartment and want to talk to me."

"Sarah, you should know that I always have your best interests at heart. Please don't be upset with me when I say I really think you need to work things out with your dad. But I'm also not sure tonight would be the best time." Pensive, he looked at her. "I think you should stay here so you can warm up. I don't want to take you out again. You're overtired. You could get sick." Letting go of her feet, Matt scooted closer to Sarah and put his arms around her in an effort to help warm her. "I'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in my bed." He waited for his words to sink in. "I know it seems like a temptation, but we managed in the townhouse for two weeks."

Tensing at first at his proposal, Sarah relaxed when Matt mentioned the separate sleeping arrangements. "It's a good thing your dad isn't here."

"He's not. And you don't have to worry. We made a commitment. Besides, you're exhausted."

"You should take the bed, since you're bigger than me. You'll be miserable out here and you won't be sleeping in the bed for a couple of nights while we move you. I can sleep on the couch."

"Listen, it's warmer in the bed. I don't need to have the blankets and duvet. You do. I'll be fine out here. I have some extra bedding. Besides, I can sleep anywhere."

"That's right. Your Army training. Why sleep on the couch? Just use the bathtub. It has to be dry by now."

"Very funny." Glad she had finally cheered up enough to make a joke, Matt kissed her hair and rested his cheek against her head. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo, relaxing as he held her. They sat quietly like that for several minutes.

Finally Sarah broke the silence. "Matt, would you pray with me? I'm so mixed up about my dad—I still feel wound up inside. I know I upset people…"

"Of course I'll pray with you." He took her hands and bowed his head.

Afterwards Matt grew serious. "Listen, Sarah. I need to ask you to please never run off like that again. I know you did it out of desperation, and you planned to see me, but…" He hesitated, a look of pain in his eyes. "It reminded me of the time Smith had taken you. Only, I was able to follow the car then. Today I had no idea where you were. It was all I could do to hold it together."

Sober now, Sarah pulled back so she could see Matt's face more easily. "I'm so sorry. It was a dumb move. I should have called you. I shouldn't have run so far."

"Well, it's behind us now and I'll stop harping on it. Just please don't do it again."

"I won't."

His own face troubled, Matt watched as Sarah made an effort to hold back tears. "And I like I said, I forgive you. I love you. Very much." He leaned down, his lips meeting hers.

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A noise startled Matt awake. Confused at first, it took him a moment to realize that he was lying on the couch in his apartment. Sarah had gone to sleep in his bed before eight o'clock. He had stayed up working on the reports that he had neglected that week, then checking emails and reading the news on the internet before finally going to sleep around ten. He listened for the sound to repeat itself. Then he heard a woman's muffled cries of anguish. Sarah! He jumped up and without knocking, went into the bedroom. In the dark, he could see Sarah's form in the bed. Curled into a tight ball, she was still covered, not moving. Then she cried out again.

"Sarah. Sarah, wake up." Matt lowered himself to the side of the bed and began gently shaking her. "Come on, sweetie. Wake up."

Sarah made another agonized sound and then opened her eyes. His hand resting reassuringly on her shoulder, Matt watched as she lay staring into the dark, her eyes faintly luminescent from the little moonlight that filtered into the room under the curtains.

"You were having a nightmare."

"Matt?" Confused, Sarah sat up, pulling the blankets up to her chin. "What are you doing here?" She looked around at the dark room. "Oh, that's right."

"Do you want to talk about it, or go back to sleep?"

She pushed the hair off of her face and thought for a moment. "It was the same dream I used to have after we were attacked. Only this time, my dad was there, aiming a gun at me. I wanted to get past him and get to you, but I couldn't."

"Your dad was aiming at the man who wanted to take you away. You were being held with a knife at your throat."

"I remember that part. I could feel blood on my neck, but I didn't care that it hurt. All I could think of was getting to you." A sob escaped Sarah's lips.

"You did. We're okay now. Your dad took care of that monster." Matt reached for her, embracing her as she rested her head against his chest.

"Oh Matt, I just can't get past the image of my father holding the gun. And I just wanted to get to you, but I couldn't. You were hurt so badly." Great sobs began to shake her body.

"I'm here now, Sarah. It's okay. We're okay." Matt rocked her gently in his arms as she keened.

Matt had not looked at the time when he came into the room, and he could only guess how long he held Sarah like that, speaking softly to her, trying to soothe her, praying silently. Having neglected to grab a robe, he was growing cold wearing only a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. At one point he had reached for the tissue box on the bedside table and left it on the bed beside them so she could help herself. As he ran his hand along her back, Matt could tell that Sarah was chilled as well—she still wore the t-shirt and athletic pants she had dressed in after her shower. Finally she quieted, her breath coming in soft gasps, and he handed her another tissue. "You need to get some more sleep."

Blowing her nose, Sarah did not acknowledge Matt immediately. Shivering with only the blanket covering her front, she hugged her knees to her chest with one arm while she wiped her face with the tissue.

He sat for a moment, as if he was considering something. Suddenly he stood up and went around to the other side of the bed. Pulling back the covers, he climbed in. "Lie down." His voice was a gentle command.

"Um…"

"It's okay. I'm just going to hold you. You're never going to get warm again unless I do."

Hesitating at first, Sarah lay down, turning on her side. Matt wrapped an arm around her and tucked himself up against her back. Oh, she feels good. He closed his eyes, trying to think of something else so he could go to sleep.

For the first time since that afternoon, Sarah grew comfortably warm. Not just tolerably warm, as she had been on the couch earlier. She lay quietly, listening to Matt's breathing, her own finally back to normal. Rapid at first, his breaths gradually slowed to an even rhythm. His arm grew heavy where it rested on her hip, but as she, too, grew sleepy, she did not mind. The faint scent of his aftershave was comforting, and it gave her a feeling of security to relax against his firm, muscular chest.

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Gingerly, Matt released the weight, doing his best to keep from waking Sarah. It was only five-thirty in the morning. Although it would normally be a little too early for him, he knew they would have to take Sarah to her apartment to change her clothes before they went to work. And he had needed the workout. Sleeping soundly, Sarah had finally felt warm as he left the bed. Despite the harrowing nightmare and troubling memories that had haunted her the day before, Sarah's face had been tranquil, her body relaxed. No longer curled into a fetal position but still attracted to his warmth, she had stretched out against him, her long legs touching his. The enticing fragrance of roses emanated from her soft hair as it tumbled over her face and shoulders and across the pillow. A great physical longing had come over Matt, and it was with tremendous effort that he had resisted kissing and caressing her. In fact, he wasted no time getting out of the bed once he realized how tempted he was. Now he truly understood why the newlywed officers on the base in Belgium had often struggled to make it to the office on time. Lifting weights and running relieved tension of all varieties, and he was definitely feeling tension today.

It was a half hour later that she finally appeared, sleepy and disheveled, in the living room. Raising her voice a little so Matt could hear her over the treadmill, where he was running, she greeted him with a shy smile. "Good morning."

Huffing out his reply, Matt answered, "Good morning. You just woke up?"

"Yes." Finding the sweatshirt that she had discarded before going to bed, Sarah drew it on and curled up on the couch, slipping her feet under the folded blankets Matt had left there. Finally, she looked at the clock on the wall. "Oh. I slept almost eleven hours."

Matt grunted out his responses between breaths. "Yeah. You needed it. Glad I didn't wake you earlier."

"I should probably go freshen up now so I won't keep you from the bathroom. You'll want to get your shower when you're done there."

"Good idea."

Sarah was in the kitchen when Matt made his way to the bedroom after his run. In preparation for that evening's move, the bed was neatly made, no evidence that she had been there. He paused for a moment, considering what he had done the night before. How was it any different than any of the other times you've been alone with Sarah? Only this time, you weren't making out with her. It was rather chaste. But we shared a bed. Shaking his head as if to clear his mind, Matt grabbed some fresh underwear and started to head for the bathroom. Then he shook his head again and went back for a shirt and his suit pants. With Sarah there, he would need those before he came out of the bathroom.

Breakfast was on the table when Matt walked out to the kitchen. "Blueberry pancakes! Mmm. They smell delicious. I'm glad you found the ingredients." He stepped over to the sink, where Sarah was washing the mixing bowl, and gave her a kiss on the cheek before sitting at the table.

"When we packed up the kitchen the other day, I saw you had baking powder. And flour. I'm glad you didn't seal up the box, yet."

"I've made pancakes from scratch a few times. My mom always made them that way when we were growing up."

"I stole the berries from the supply you keep for smoothies." Sarah set the glasses of freshly blended fruit and protein powder on the table and sat quietly while Matt said grace over the food and prayed for Sarah. She watched him for a moment as he began to eat. "I guess you could call this a peace offering, even if it isn't muffins. You were right to be angry with me. And you've been so good to me despite my foolishness."

"You've done the same for me. I've made my own mistakes. But I'll take your peace offering—these are delicious. You can make me muffins next time." Matt grinned and took a bite of pancake, swallowing before he spoke again. "I was thinking I could drive you in today. Then you could take the Charger to your place at the end of the day and I can have Rene drop me off there after work.

"Thanks. It will be nice to drive in together." She looked down at her plate. "I hope people won't think we… um… you know."

"Who?"

"Neighbors. My parents. My brothers, if they knew I stayed here."

"Well, you have a ring on your finger. I don't like to be rude to my neighbors, but as you know, I have to kind of keep to myself. For all they know, we're already married. People can't always see a person's hand clearly."

"Oh. That's why you took my hand last night. It felt strange, because you were so cold and distant."

Matt gazed at Sarah, his expression serious. "I know. I've told you that I wouldn't give you my agent face. But I didn't know how to be angry with you. And I wasn't about to humiliate you in front of my neighbors." His face softened and he appeared remorseful. "But honestly, I didn't take your hand for that reason. I didn't know you were going to stay over. I just didn't want you to run off again."

Sarah looked down at her plate and did not say anything.

After swallowing some more of his smoothie, Matt tipped her chin with his finger, encouraging her to look at him. "As for your family, I told your mom that you were in the bedroom and I was on the couch—which was true for at least part of the night." He smiled ruefully and took another sip. "I texted her last night after you were asleep. I don't think Phillip and Jamie will know. Phillip went home once he knew you were here with me."

"Who else knows about what I did besides Rene?"

"Leatherneck had left already. Just your brothers, your parents, and Rene. I only told Rene that you were missing because I had to leave some reports unfinished. He won't know you slept here."

"Thank you for keeping it private—my foolish behavior."

"Your parents insisted and I agreed with them. But your mom wants you to see Dr. Kirby."

Sighing, Sarah looked down at the remains of her pancakes. "Okay. I hope all this means I'm past it now."

"You didn't tell me you were having nightmares again."

"I've only had few recently."

Matt regarded her for a moment before getting up to take his dishes to the kitchen. "We'd better get on the road." As Sarah joined him at the sink, he took the plate and cup from her, then after putting them down, embraced her. "You'll get past this. We'll do it together. Just keep praying."

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Lee, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, watched from the bedroom window above the driveway as Sarah, now wearing slacks, a warm coat, and boots, walked with Matt to his car. Lee glanced over at Amanda, also in her workout clothes, as she came and stood beside him.

"I've got some coffee ready downstairs. We finished our workout twenty minutes ago. I was wondering if you were going to come down."

He looked out the window again, watching Matt start the car and drive off. "I wanted to see if Sarah was okay. She and Matt hurried up to the apartment earlier, and I couldn't tell."

"She'll be okay, Lee. She just needs time."

"She didn't even come home last night."

"You know it was because Matt didn't want to take her out again in the cold. They didn't…"

Still staring out the window, Lee cut her off. "—She's always talked to us when she's been upset. I've broken our trust."

"Lee, please. Give her some time. I seem to remember you needed space when you came to terms with your parents' death. There were other times when I gave you space as well."

"It wasn't the same."

"But she's your daughter. She often thinks like you do. Give her a chance to work it out. Hopefully she'll see Kirby today."

"Maybe I need to go for a visit, too. I'll give his office a call after we have our coffee."

"And a little something to eat. You'll feel better."

Looking back at his wife, Lee frowned. "You know, I got along just fine for years without eating anything for breakfast."

Amanda wisely did not say anything more as she followed Lee out of the room.

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As Sarah waited in Kirby's office, she thought back to her interaction with Leatherneck that morning. He had been kind, brushing off her breach of protocol with the Glock. Grant Hill had been nowhere to be seen as Leatherneck related the story behind her father's pop-up appearing during her simulation. However, when she had discussed running the simulation again, he had insisted that she would not be in the arena again that week. Jamie needed her help with research with the reports that he was now compiling.

"And you have to visit with Kirby. Your mother told me that if you didn't want to go voluntarily, I was to personally escort you there."

A door opened to the psychiatrist's office. Sarah tensed when she realized her father was the person walking out. Before she could think of a way to avoid him, he had walked up to her.

"Hello, Sarah." Her father, the veteran agent, was always sure of himself. Even when her mother had been taken hostage, he had remained strong for her and her brothers. But now he looked vulnerable. Then the image of him firing his gun came back to her.

Lee was not a believer, but he thought it might have been divine Providence that had his daughter waiting in the office right after his session with Kirby. Then he saw the change in her expression and it felt like a knife had been plunged into his gut.

Sarah had not missed the pained expression on Lee's face. She knew she needed to say something. Her father was struggling with his own feelings. And why was he in Kirby's office? "Hi, Daddy. I'm surprised to see you here."

Although it was tempting to vindicate himself and tell Sarah why he had been coming to Kirby for weeks, Lee refrained. He did not want her pity and he did not want to add guilt to the many emotions that must have been plaguing his daughter.

"Oh, it's just a routine visit. Have to come if I'm going to keep up with the consulting."

Getting up from her chair, Sarah considered going to her father and hugging him. She wanted to talk to him alone and tell him she was confused. But he seemed to be putting up a wall. Perhaps it's best if I don't tell him what's bothering me after all. She did not know how to tell him she was angry with him. Or had been until she saw him this morning. "Well, I had better go in for my appointment."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Sarah smiled and nodded in response.

Lee was momentarily hopeful that things might improve between them. But Sarah had disappeared into Kirby's office before he had a chance to say anything more. And her smile had not been the easy, confident smile he was accustomed to seeing on her face. It was forced. And her eyes, which were just as expressive as Amanda's, were troubled.