Written by Scooplet
Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet
Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson, Matt Granger, and the other characters not found in the television show are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.
The Eyes of the Father
Chapter Eleven
Amanda was waiting with the usual cup of coffee when Lee walked in the door. She pretended to shiver when he kissed her and offered her a quick embrace. "Ooh, you've brought the cold in with you." She frowned when she saw his attempted smile as he removed his coat and went to the foyer to hang it up. She called after him. "I have some coffee here for you."
He came back into the kitchen and took the offered beverage from her.
She went over to the table. "Sit down with me, Stetson. What's on your mind?"
Holding the coffee mug, he stood stiffly in the middle of the kitchen and sighed. "I don't want to drag you into this, Amanda."
"Into what? Is it Sarah? How did your appointment go?"
"I saw Sarah when I came out. I thought maybe things were going to be okay between us. But she's put up a wall."
"She has, or you have?"
"What do you mean? I said hello first." Amanda watched as the emotions passed over Lee's face. At first defensive, he now looked pained. "If you could have seen her expression…" Lee passed a hand over his eyes.
Getting up from her chair, Amanda went to Lee and put her arms around him. "Just give her some time, Lee. She loves you. You two are closer than most other fathers and daughters I know. You'll work it out."
While he had seemed to welcome the embrace at first, his body stiffened while she spoke. "This isn't something most other fathers and daughters have to deal with, Amanda." He stepped away. "I think I'll go work on that security proposal. I need to get it done before Christmas."
"I thought you needed my help. I'm free this afternoon. Jennifer is busy with the boys being home on Christmas break, so we won't have our usual lunch date."
"Christmas break already?" Lee seemed to grow almost wistful, and then shook himself. "I'm putting together a few things, but then I was hoping you could review them. Maybe I'll have enough ready after lunch."
Amanda watched as he went up the steps towards the foyer and his office beyond. She knew that what Lee really wanted was to be alone.
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Things had been quiet at the Agency that day. Having finished the work that Jamie had left for her, she had walked down to Leatherneck's office near the armory after lunch on her own. As a former quartermaster for years prior to being in charge of field communications, Leatherneck often had the veteran agents coming in for visits when his door was open. But the office had been empty save for the now partially-retired Agency veteran, who seemed happy to see her.
"You have work to do with your brother, don't you, Junior?"
"Hello to you, too, Leatherneck."
"Hi. You on a break?"
"Yes. No. I'm done for the day."
"Your fiancé was in the armory with his partner, getting ready to be recertified on weapons and other equipment, I heard. They'll probably be down here all day. Barclay's crazy notion to surprise people, instead of schedule the things."
"Yes, but it forces people to be on their game, as Matt says. I guess I can't practice on the range today. But I feel guilty not doing anything when I'm getting paid."
"At intern's wages. But this would be a good day to go to the track. You up for it?"
"Yes. But it's icy out there, Leatherneck. I took the train in."
"You could have stayed home. Jamie did. But then you probably wanted to be with your honey. Only he's got this surprise recert."
"Stop teasing," she admonished him. But she was only partially kidding. Sarah would not say that the real reason for coming in on a weather day was so she could avoid her father. "Fine. If you can drive me over and drop me off at home, I'll go."
Leatherneck grinned laconically. "You've got a deal, Junior."
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Listening to Leatherneck's instructions over the headset, Sarah maneuvered the Agency vehicle towards the still-icy practice track. The chemicals had done their work last time, but now there was ice.
Leatherneck spoke over the headset. "I called your dad to join us. First, he told me off for taking you out in this weather. Then, I told him that I was preventing you from having an accident in the future, not endangering your life."
"I'm sure that helped a ton." Sarah was sarcastic. After Lee's actions of the week before, when she and her mother had been late because of the accident, she imagined that he was now irritated with her for going to the track and driving to the metro station on the ice.
"Actually, he cooled off some. But when I invited him to join us, he declined. And he said he wouldn't come tomorrow, either." Leatherneck was silent on his end, waiting for Sarah's response. When it did not come, he continued. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but you need to work it out. You're getting married in two weeks. It's almost Christmas."
"My mother made Daddy call to invite Matt and me over for dinner tonight. But we're signing the papers on our apartment, so we can't go. I think he thought I'm avoiding him."
"You guys have to eat." Silence. "So go eat with your parents."
"I thought we came to drive on ice."
"As in, I'm on thin ice?"
Sarah started driving, tired of Leatherneck's unsolicited advice. Her mind went back to the night before, when Matt had come for dinner at her apartment. He had wanted to say yes to her mother's invitation. They had not argued, but it had come close.
"Matt, I just can't be around my dad right now. He won't talk to me, anyway."
"Sarah, it's Christmas—or almost Christmas. This may be the last time we can be alone with your folks before the wedding. It won't be the same for you or for them once we're married. Ever since we've met we've had these dinners. You'd help your mom, I'm coming over anyway—you won't be helping her host anymore."
"We can drive over there for dinners after we're married."
"Think of your mom, at least, Sarah. Didn't you tell me that your mom wanted to do another fitting with the dress today?"
"Please, Matt. Don't pressure me."
Matt had been quiet after that. Sarah had felt a wall go up between them and she knew it was her fault. He had left earlier than usual that evening, less than satisfied with their evening together. Sarah had felt the same way. I shouldn't let this thing with my father come between me and Matt. And I should think of Mom. She stopped daydreaming and brought her mind back to the present once again.
"You're right, Leatherneck. We'll leave here early and go help my mom make dinner."
"Since all you're doing is driving in circles, we can call it quits now."
"Okay. But let's do some turns first. What's a bootlegger like on ice?"
"Ha ha, Junior. Let's start with easy stuff. And tomorrow your dad is joining us. You're inviting him."
"Um."
"No arguments. Let's go. Start with the cones. I don't need to remind you what to do if you fishtail."
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When Matt arrived at the Stetson home that evening, he was pleased to see that Sarah greeted him at the door. "Hey. Missed you today." He leaned down to kiss her as soon as the front door was closed.
Sarah was glad to see that the wall between them had come back down. "Missed you, too." She moved around behind him to help him with his coat. "You are cold."
"It's getting better out there—starting to warm up a little. Won't be icy when we drive over to the apartment." He gave her a quick hug after she hung up his coat. He took the opportunity to whisper in her ear. "I'm really glad you wanted to have dinner here after all. How are things with your dad?"
"Haven't seen him. He's working in his office. You know he's doing some freelance stuff. Security work. Gil Barclay gave him the referral. Mom is helping him. Only…" Sarah drew Matt into the living room, away from the foyer. "…she said he didn't have much for her to do today. He's being a loner. And it's my fault." She looked at Matt, sorrow on her face.
"Did you try talking to him? Knock on the door?"
"When I first got here I knocked on the door and he said hello. Asked if we could talk later. But that was two or three hours ago. He wouldn't even come up to see me in the wedding dress." Sarah bit her lip. "I can't help it, Matt. Even though I talked with Dr. Kirby, he wasn't much help. I'm not as torn anymore, but I still feel uncomfortable around my dad. And I keep remembering what happened. It's hard to put it from my mind. It's upsetting."
"It's only been a day."
"Dr. Kirby said it was like I just lived it, since I hadn't remembered the entire incident until now."
"Yeah. I figured it was something like that. That means you'll get better with time, right?"
"Yes."
"Then hopefully your dad will get better soon, too."
Amanda walked into the foyer. Seeing her, Matt and Sarah spoke as they joined her from the darkened living room.
"Hi, Amanda."
"Hey, Mom."
"I didn't want to intrude…"
"You weren't. We were just talking."
Amanda hugged Matt. She nodded at them both, a smirk on her face. "I wasn't born yesterday. But you can call it talking if you like."
"Oh, Mom." Sarah found herself blushing, despite Amanda's misperception. Matt had disappeared.
"You only call me 'Mom' in that tone when you're embarrassed."
"Because you made something out of nothing. We were talking. Matt kissed me in the foyer." She pulled her mother into the den. "It was about Daddy." She widened her eyes at Amanda.
Amanda looked past her daughter's shoulder. Sarah turned to see Matt following her father into the den. Matt's eyes met Sarah's, trying to encourage her.
"I thought I should call it quits since Matt is here and dinner must be almost ready." Lee looked at Amanda, avoiding eye contact with Sarah.
"Leatherneck took me out to the track today, Daddy."
"I heard about that. He's going to get you killed."
Despite her father's gruff tone, Sarah pressed on. "He was using the opportunity to show me how to drive safely on ice. He even had me do a few maneuvers at increased speed, but no bootlegger turns." Sarah was uncomfortable.
Standing behind Lee, Matt looked down at the floor briefly, then back at Sarah, trying to encourage her wordlessly. He walked around Lee to the kitchen and began helping Amanda.
Left alone in the den with her father, Sarah knew she should take the opportunity to extend Leatherneck's invitation. "He asked you to come out to the track tomorrow, Daddy. It will probably be my last time before I officially sign on. You won't be able to drive along with me anymore."
"I suppose I should show up, then, huh? You won't mind?"
"No. Of course not." She tried to smile encouragingly, and then looked towards the kitchen. "I should help Mom. We have our appointment at the apartment complex this evening."
"I'll pour some wine. That okay?"
"Yes, thanks." Sarah was miserable. Things were so stilted between her and Lee that she felt as if she did not know the man. Despite everyone's reassurance, including her mother's, that things would get better, she was not feeling confident of that at the moment. The small lunch she had eaten in the breakroom at the Agency was long forgotten as her empty stomach churned from stress.
Later, Matt regarded her with concern as they drove to the apartment complex. "You okay?"
"I guess so. It's just so hard to talk to Daddy. He's like a stranger." She felt her lower lip wobble. Don't cry. You'll be a mess for the meeting.
Glancing over at hearing the catch in Sarah's voice, Matt saw her expression and took her hand. "Oh, sweetie. Hang in there. At least he talked with you."
"Before dinner. I couldn't say a thing after that."
"You were pretty quiet. And you didn't eat well. Good thing your mom served bread with dinner."
"You have me figured out." Good thing Matt doesn't know how much Mom is having to alter the dress. She cringed inwardly, remembering how her mother had been concerned about her weight loss.
"Seems like you must have a sour stomach…"
"I just get stressed out, and my stomach goes into knots. It helps to eat the bread. I ate some of the roast and vegetables."
Matt chose not to argue over the quantity of food she had eaten. "So is your dad going to meet you at the track?"
"He said he would."
"Great! That's a start."
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"Come to bed, Lee."
He did not look up from the computer as he replied. "I'll be up in a while. I'm on a roll, here."
Amanda sighed. "Sarah's trying, Lee. But you're so wound up, you're intimidating her. She could hardly eat dinner."
"She's right. I'm a lousy father. I shot at her. Now I'm making her miserable."
"Lee." Amanda's voice was firm as she remonstrated, "You saved her from Santiago. You helped her take care of Matt. You were with her during one of the most painful moments of her life. You've been there for her through all sorts of ups and downs. Protecting her from everything—from real evil to overly hormonal teenage boys. You're a wonderful father. She knows that. She's just struggling with her emotions." She chose not to tell Lee about her concern over Sarah's weight loss.
Lee turned around to face his wife and looked over his reading glasses at her. "Amanda, I know you're trying to be helpful, but I haven't been a wonderful father. Not always. I worked late a lot of nights. She wasted years with Jeff—I have wondered if she turned to him, a man she didn't really love, because I wasn't available." Lee ran a hand through his hair as Amanda stood there, listening.
"There were times she'd call and I couldn't take the time to talk for more than a minute or two. She was just a girl still, not even out of her teens, at a school far from home and she needed her father. No wonder she found that guy. He filled the gap. And he wasn't very hard to string along—no stress, because he didn't ask for anything. Not until he got serious. Then she finally woke up and dumped him. Thank God." He laughed mirthlessly.
"Lee, you can't blame yourself entirely for that. And there were plenty of times she talked with both of us. She's told me that she spent more time with us, with the family, the last two years of her relationship with Jeff, if you can even call it that, than with him. It was over when they came back here. She just didn't know how to tell him." She pulled up a chair and sat down near Lee. "Why are we even talking about Jeff?"
"I guess I haven't been working the entire time I've been in here, the last couple of days. I've just been trying to think about how I could have done things differently. Analyzing where I've screwed up."
"Oh, that's a bad road to go down…"
"Is it? My daughter is terrified of me."
"She's not terrified. Just confused. And upset. She'll be okay. I keep trying to tell you. I felt like this many times when we first worked together and you'd be pushing me away."
"I was too much of an ass to realize I cared for you. Then I felt guilty dragging you into a dangerous business."
"But she's younger than I was. It's harder for her to understand that you're struggling with guilt. And you two are so alike, she can't really see that what you're doing is a overreacting. Because she is, too."
"You think I'm overreacting." It was more of a statement than a question.
Amanda was grateful that he did not become angry.
Lee stared at her, not really seeing Amanda for a few moments while he processed her words. "Well, I'm going to the track tomorrow."
"Good. Now come to bed."
"I said I wasn't done."
"You also said you weren't really working."
He eyed her, then turned to the computer and shut it down. "Mrs. Stetson, you are a stubborn woman."
"Yeah, I am." Years ago she might have pointed out his own stubbornness, but she kept her thoughts to herself.
He drew her up out of her chair. "And I love you anyway. Always have. Let's go to bed." Ignoring Amanda as she rolled her eyes at him, he kissed her forehead before following her out of the office.
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Easing her car into the lane of traffic she wanted, Sarah adjusted the radio volume so the music was on low. Jamie would be in the office today, so he was expecting her to work with him that morning. Leatherneck had scheduled her for the track after lunch, where her father would join them. Choosing not to dwell on the state of her relationship with her father, she focused on her plans for that evening.
Old clothes, cleaning supplies, and other items were stowed in the trunk of her Volvo, as she would be going to the new apartment after work. Matt would join her there, along with Rene and his wife, Patti.
The apartment, really a townhouse, was everything they had hoped for. While the managers had only been able to show them floor plans when they put their names on the waiting list six weeks earlier, Sarah and Matt had imagined it would be somewhat roomier than Matt's apartment. But the living room of their new three-level townhouse was much larger, as was the master bedroom. And the second bedroom, across from their master bedroom, was just spacious enough to have room for some of their bookshelves and an extra mattress on the floor, if needed. Matt's family or friends could come to stay with them. There was even a small, loft-like living area looking out over the living room that could serve as an office.
Sarah smiled at the prospect of running inside on icy days. It had been tempting to forego her workouts on those days, but she had been a runner for so long it was hard to miss more than the one day a week she allowed for rest.
Red lights glowed in front of her as the traffic slowed to a crawl. She was looking forward to the shorter commute, too. It was only fifteen minutes closer than her parents' house, but with the traffic often bumper to bumper, that saved time would be a luxury.
The meeting at the management office had seemed to drag on, but once they had finished signing the papers and handing over their deposit and rent money, the apartment manager walked them through the townhouse for an inspection and then handed them the keys. After she left, Matt and Sarah wasted no time going back inside.
Entering their new front door, Matt let Sarah go ahead of him. "I can't carry you over the threshold until we're married. You'll have to walk in until then." When Sarah laughed, he continued, "You think I'm joking. It might be an old-fashioned tradition, but I'm carrying you over the threshold in two weeks."
"Three weeks. We won't come here until we're back from the honeymoon." By then they were inside and up the stairs. Matt watched as she wandered around the living room, this time at her own, unhurried pace, before standing in front of him again. "You know, it's perfect."
Without hesitating, Matt wrapped his arms around his fiancée. His kiss was not one Sarah would forget easily. "Our first home together, beloved." As his eyes held hers for a moment, the intensity of his expression was not lost on her.
This time it was Sarah who kissed Matt. "I love you, Matthew Granger."
He held her tightly for a few moments and then pulled away with a sigh. "This is nice, but let's look around again. We need to decide where to put the furniture."
Sarah realized she had been distracted far too long—not a good thing in the morning traffic. Smiling to herself over the memory of the evening before, she focused her attention on the road.
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In her fourth lap at the track, bypassing the cones each time, Sarah glanced at the gate as she drove by and sighed. "I think I'm warmed up now, Leatherneck. I guess my dad isn't coming. I had better get started."
"Spoke too soon, Junior. He's just pulling up."
Leatherneck waited for Lee to join him at his vantage point on one of the observation platforms. He noted his friend's reserved behavior. "Glad you could make it, Ace."
Lee did not say that he had driven around the area for twenty minutes, debating whether to come at all. He knew he was in for a lecture if he declined to ride with Sarah, but he pretended not to see Leatherneck offering him the headset.
"She's waited for you." He pointed with the headset. "This was all about letting her practice those moves you showed her."
Lee took the headset and placed it on his head, but remained standing in the same place.
As if sensing that Lee had no intention of joining her, Sarah pressed on the accelerator and began negotiating her way through the cones at a rapid rate of speed.
Leatherneck, looked at Lee, then back at the track. He made sure the mic on his headset was off. "You two need to work things out."
They both watched Sarah as she completed the first lap.
Lee's face grew concerned. "Are you timing her? She acts like she's trying to break a record."
"No doubt she's ticked off about something. She reminds me of a certain agent back in the day."
Lee was no longer watching from the back of the observation room. He was at the windows, a pained expression on his face. He breathed a sigh of relief when Sarah came to a stop once again.
"Nice work, Sarah, except Wong will write you up if you drive like that during one of his sessions." Leatherneck's voice was uncharacteristically stern.
There was silence for a few moments. The two men watched as the car idled. Finally Sarah's voice came over the headsets. "Shall I go again?"
"Yes, but this time more slowly. Then we'll work on your turns."
Lee relaxed and took a step back from the window. He made sure his mic was still off. "You're wrong, you know. She's acting just like her mother—she's not flying off the handle. She was sending me a message. I blew it."