TRIS POV
Am I? Did that? What the hell just happened?
"Yes" I murmur again, coaxing my eyes open, I see his eyes, as deep and dark as the depths of uncharted oceans. Call off the lifeguards I think dimly to no one but myself. I wouldn't mind drowning in eyes like those.
"That's a first" He murmured to himself. I look up at him with a raised eyebrow. I know as well as the next girl that this could end two ways, he sees me as a challenge and once He gets all of me he'll be on to the next one. But, that didn't seem right. At least when he hooked up with girls before they were sure that it was no more than well...That.
He was a lot of things, and it seemed like self loathing was one of them, maybe even more than me which was a long shot considering that I was taught not to think of myself as anything but a machine to help others, than convinced that I was the reason that the two best people to breathe on the earth died and condemned as killers.
And I wonder- for a moment. What Four would do if he knew whAt I did in my spare time. Why I was taught so many fighting techniques. Why I have such a bad temper.
What if he knew what Zeke, Uriah and I did- and still do to prove our point of justice.
"Really?" His eyes are wide, I can't help myself as I stroke his cheekbone slightly with my thumb. I don't know what he has done with other girls. But I know it's more than caresses.
Yet he shivers as if I'm not the only virgin in the room. Which I know perfectly well I am- unless he has a dog or Somthing.
"Why not?" I murmured back. He lens forward so the tips of my long thick eyelashes to brush the flesh on his cheek. He breathes in the moment.
And amazingly, I realize that at twenty three that is my first kiss. Ever.
"Your so innocent" I look up to see that he had that face on. The one I saw when I look in the mirror. A picture of self disgust. Someone hurt him. And he was still hurting from it.
Just.
Like.
Me.
"Your so innocent and I'm practically a who're" He whispers fiercely I glance up to see him scowling. "I've fucked half the city and every time I think about it I come to the same answer- I don't deserve you." I am almost sure that I'm no longer side of this conversation, even if he is only inches from where are lips had met.
"Then don't think about it" I say simply. He does not need pity, he does not need a hovering girlfriend he needs someone to say Somthing practical.
"Can I change?" He asks, including me in his private conversation.
"You have time" I tell him simply. He smile and kisses me coarsely on the lips. He jerks his head back before I can move forward.
"Haha very funny" I joked with my eyes closed, my injuries weren't hurting now, the adrenaline in my veins brushed every though from my mind.
It was almost like I could see his soul from here. And it was beautiful, broken, hurt but beautiful. Maybe he might love me as I love him.
"That's teasing Tris" It's amazing how him saying my name sent such a shock of pleasure through me.
"I think I could try" I say, of course I'm scared, but I live for fear. It's a second nature to me. I don't back down. That shit doesn't fly with me.
He makes a confused face so I lace our hands together, lifting some of his weight, he goes in to kiss me, our lips b a rely brush before I twist my hips so I straddle him.I thank my constant activity for my strong core as I sit up. He has his knees up, so I lean back on them, grinding y lower half to his through the material. He has jogging pants on.
Let's just let that sink in.
He groans and I leAn down to kiss him softly. But I can tell nothing between us will be soft. We're not built that way. He opens my mouth but I don't allow his tounge in. I may be prudent but I know talk, Christina certainly holds nothing back after all her parents were Candor.
And I knew teasing was a normal part of a relationship.
I close my mouth before he can let his tounge enter mine. He groans as I Len my hips a but lower than where his jeans start.
"Your killing me" He groans. At this I smile and bite down gently on his bottom lip, he shakes his head jokingly, he sits up on bis elbows and I trace my hands down his muscular back.
I growl, deep in my throat which he responds immediately too. He grabs the back of my short denim shorts and taps where my pocket would have been.
"You win" He tells me. "But that's my first loss" He adds I fill my eyes and turn around.
"Now what?" I murmur.
"Now we get to know each other" He cockeyed his head. I looks down.
"It's not like you never had a date"
"Does Harry count? I usually have to drive him home and he hits on me until his wife drags him out by the ear" I ask, he chuckles.
"Harry's wife does whAt then?" He jokes I moved my mouth around.
"Says she's glad that it's better me than her" I joke.
"How about you the mysterious Four/ Badass Tobias" I murmur.
"Bad past shifty future wonderful present" I moisten my lips and rub them together.
"I feel like we have much in common Tobias" I love his name, it's so easy to say. It's relief.
"I hope not I wouldn't wish such evil upon you" He told me sternly. I sat up on his hips, pushing my small hands down his chest.
"We both hate ourselves" I point out. Mine is Beacuse I've been the reason for evil. Of many, many kinds.
Then again- not without good cause.
boring I know but this hints toward a huge twist in a story that I came up with. Review please!