A/N: Thanks for the reviews!:)
Lindstrom-Thank you! I have a pet peeve with grammar errors, so I'm very pleased to know my writing isn't full of them. Lol:) That's exactly what I thought-there is no way either Elsa or Anna were putting up with that situation with no questions asked. I've been wondering since the first time I saw the movie why couldn't they talk through the door or something? Or at least tell Anna what was going on? Or pass notes under the door back and forth? It makes no sense whatsoever.:P
artsoccer-I promise this is going to end on a happy note:)
Troubledgirl87-Glad you like my story even if you hate Agdar;) (Personally I think Elsa's and Anna's parents were pretty stupid...um...*whistles innocently since I'm a teenager too and therefore most likely biased in favor of Elsa and Anna*:))
The next morning, Elsa awoke to the sound of a knock on her door. "Go away, please."
"Princess Elsa, I have breakfast for you," Gerda said.
Oh no, I must have overslept. Elsa jumped out of bed and splashed through the meltwater all over the floor to the door. "It's unlocked." Good grief, I made such a mess in here yesterday.
Gerda took one look at the room and knew what had happened. She'd heard Anna's yelling the night before. "Where would you like your breakfast, Princess Elsa? I'll get this room cleaned up in no time."
"On the desk. I'm really sorry about…the mess. I'll help mop it up. I… completely lost it last night." That's the understatement of the year.
"Did you get in trouble for Anna barging in here? The truth, now," Gerda said when she saw Elsa shut her eyes and start shaking her head.
"I'm not allowed to draw any blueprints for a week. I suppose I deserve it-Anna got in because I forgot to lock the door." Although...if I was allowed to just talk to Anna in the first place, it wouldn't have happened because we would have been talking through the door...
Gerda frowned. She'd seen some of Elsa's blueprints, and they were careful, precise, and looked real. They may as well have been lesson assignments; after all, calculations and math were needed to make accurate blueprints. What a dumb punishment. Drawing blueprints is basically lessons, except that they're fun. For Elsa, anyway. "Well, I have to go wake up Anna. Then I'll be right back to mop up all the water."
"Would you give Anna something for me? I want to give her this," Elsa said, holding out one of her favorite blueprint drawings, which was a floor plan of the entire castle that she'd drawn up from memory. "Just tell her not to show our parents…I don't know if they would approve or not…"
"I'm sure Anna will be pleased to have it. Are you sure you want to give Anna this one, though? I know you spent a lot of time on it," Gerda said.
"I can always draw another one. If I can't see or talk to Anna, the least I can do is give her something I spent time on. Please?" Maybe it'll help Anna understand when I don't reply to her again…
"All right, princess. I'll be right back."
Elsa locked the door the moment Gerda was in the hall. I won't forget to lock that door again. She splashed over to her closet and changed out of her nightgown. Then she brushed out her hair and put it back in its braided bun. Elsa sat down to eat her pancake breakfast. I'm going outside later. To the forest behind the castle where that passage ends. There won't be anyone out there, so it'll be fine. I won't hurt anyone.
"Elsa didn't get in trouble for what I did yesterday, did she?" Anna asked when Gerda finally woke her up. "Although I don't think I did anything wrong…well, maybe I shouldn't have yelled at Mom and Dad."
"She isn't allowed to draw any blueprints for a week," Gerda told Anna.
"Not allowed to draw blueprints? That doesn't sound like much of a punishment," Anna said, sounding pleased. "Don't you have to do a ton of math and calculation stuff to make a good one?"
"Princess Anna, your sister likes drawing blueprints. She does that for fun all the time. Believe me, that is a serious punishment to her," Gerda said. "Princess Elsa wanted me to give you this, along with the message that you are not supposed to show your parents because she wasn't sure if they would approve." Gerda handed Anna Elsa's castle floor plans.
"Elsa…drew this whole thing? For fun? She even put in details in some of the rooms!" Anna looked at the drawing, loving it because it was from Elsa, and because Elsa had actually made it. "How did she make this when she doesn't ever leave her room?"
"Your sister has a near photographic memory. She just used her memories of the castle to do the drawing part, and then asked me for a few main dimensional measurements to do the rest of it. Princess Elsa likes geometry, in case you couldn't tell." Gerda smiled at Anna.
"I HAVE A PRESENT FROM ELSA!" Anna whisper-screamed.
After Elsa finished eating her breakfast, she helped Gerda mop up the water all over the floor. "Thank you for helping clean up all the mess. I know it must get tiresome after I've done that about a hundred thousand times over."
"Now Princess Elsa, you have not frozen your room a hundred thousand times," Gerda said, continuing mopping.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have done it 99,999 times over then," Elsa said. That was not a princess-y thing to say, Elsa. You are not supposed to be sarcastic, even in jest. "Sorry Gerda…I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to…make a joke? It didn't work. It fell flat."
"Why should you apologize for making a joke, princess? Goodness knows you should be allowed to think of funny things sometimes." Gerda knew Elsa's sense of humor usually involved one or more of three things: 1) wordplay or puns, 2) a numbers joke of some kind, or 3) making fun of herself. This time Elsa had managed to involve all three.
"I was being a little sarcastic…I'm not supposed to act like that."
"Look at me, Princess Elsa. You weren't 'acting like' anything. Personally I did not find your joke funny, but only because you were picking on yourself in the process. You need to stop thinking ill of yourself." Gerda would have said a lot more about the whole thing, but she didn't think it was her place to do so.
"I need to stop thinking ill of myself? But what about my… my problem? My d-d-d-disability?" Elsa's voice began to quaver.
"Who told you that you had a disability?" Gerda asked, although she was fairly certain she knew the answer.
"My ears told me," Elsa whispered. "Your sense of hearing becomes acute when it is your only connection with anything outside your room for years. I've heard mother and father talking…"
"Princess Elsa. You do not have a disability. That is a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities. You have-"
Elsa's sad blue eyes flashed. "And that describes me to a T. My sense of touch is constrained constantly," she said, holding up her gloved hands. "And I'm isolated in my room all the time because of the whole thing. The defense rests." You interrupted Gerda. You should apologize, even if you don't agree with her, even if you know she's wrong. "I'm…sorry for interrupting."
"Apology accepted." Gerda wondered how to comfort Elsa; sometimes she was too perceptive for her own good. "Princess, I'll concede that is one way to look at it, but I believe your powers are a special ability that helps make you you."
If THAT'S true, then I hate myself, Elsa thought. She didn't dare voice that opinion aloud.
"And I don't know how or when, but someday you WILL be able to control them and it WILL be a special gift."
"But I can't control it-I don't know how!" And Elsa, you'll never be anything more than a shut away, abnormal freak. Elsa thought she hadn't said the last sentence aloud, but she had.
"Princess Elsa, did I just hear you call yourself an abnormal freak?" Gerda asked sternly.
"Y-y-you heard that?" Elsa stammered.
"Yes, I did. Don't call yourself nasty, untrue names like that." Gerda finished the last bit of mopping the floor.
"It is true!" Elsa felt herself starting to lose control again. Conceal, don't feel… conceal, don't feel… "Gerda, thank you for helping me clean up the mess. Will you please…you know…" Elsa nodded toward the door.
"Yes, Princess Elsa. I have a job for you till lunchtime." Gerda hoped she wasn't pressing her place with her proposition.
"A job?" Elsa was puzzled. What sort of job could I do in my room?
"Yes. You need to think of one thing you like about yourself or something you think you're good at, and tell it to me when I come back. Good-bye, Princess Elsa." Gerda left and shut the door.
Elsa ran to lock it. Something I like about myself or something I think I'm good at…hmm… She decided to pass the time by finishing solving the magic square of numbers she'd started several days before. And after lunch, I am going outside to the forest.
At eleven AM, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on her door. "Hi, Elsa! Thanks for the cool drawing. I can't believe you drew that whole thing mostly from memory. Gerda told me you like drawing blueprints for fun. I'm sorry I got you in trouble yesterday…I didn't mean to. I know I made it so you couldn't draw blueprints for a week. Will you forgive me?"
I forgive you. I just hope you can forgive me for ignoring you. Oh, Anna, please understand why I'm not replying to you…please… Elsa thought.
"Elsa? Can you just say 'yes' or 'no'? Pretty please? I gotta know if you're mad at me or not. I promise I won't try to barge in your room again."
I can't answer you, Anna. I'm not mad at you. And don't worry; you won't get in even if you do try to barge in. The door is locked. The last sentence bounced around in Elsa's mind. The door is locked…the door is locked…locked door…door locked…is the door locked…the door is locked…locked…locked…locked…you're locked in…Anna's locked out…the door…is locked… Elsa shook her head, trying to clear her scrambled thoughts. Or are you locked out and Anna is the one who's locked in? You're the one who's locked out from anywhere and anything outside your room. Anna's the one who's locked in the castle, even though she can run freely anywhere inside it. Good grief, Elsa, you must be crazy. Who cares whether it is called locked in or locked out, or who is locked in or locked out? In this case, both possibilities are each as bad as the other. Elsa frowned; her own introspection was confusing her.
"Pleeeease? Just one word? I'll be super happy if you just tell me you're not mad at me."
Elsa abandoned her musings about locked in vs. locked out. I did tell you, Anna, in my own lousy way. Please just think and understand. The drawing is for you. To tell you that I do care, no matter how much I shut you out. Elsa blinked back tears.
"Ok, I guess you're not going to say anything. I'm going to come back later, though. Thanks again for the drawing! Bye, Elsa!"
Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. Bye, Anna.
At noon, Elsa finally put the last number in her magic square. I did it! It's finished. Top row 8, 18, 16. Middle row 22, 14, 6. Bottom row 12, 10, 20. She quickly checked to see if the figures added up equally in all directions. It checks vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. Everything adds up to 42. Elsa smiled, pleased with her problem-solving skills. "Just a moment, please," she said when she heard Gerda say she'd brought Elsa her lunch. Elsa unlocked the door and retreated to the other side of the room. "The door is unlocked."
Gerda came in and set Elsa's lunch on the desk. "So, what did you come up with for your little job assignment, Princess Elsa?"
"Well…I think I am fairly good at math tricks. Does that count?" Elsa asked.
"Certainly. And what made you think of that?"
"I made up a magic square that actually works on my own. It checks completely. It's on that paper on the desk if you would like to see it," Elsa replied.
Gerda looked at the paper. "Princess Elsa, if you made this up all on your own, you aren't 'fairly good' at math tricks. You're 'VERY good' at math tricks. Now come dinnertime, you tell me another thing, all right?"
"I'll try. Thank you for bringing my lunch, Gerda," Elsa said.
Elsa ate her lunch quickly after Gerda left the room (and Elsa had relocked the door). I'm going outside today! I'm really going to do it! After she had finished eating, she lit a candle and crawled through the secret entrance into the labyrinth of secret passages. I have to be very careful that I don't lose my way. There is no map to orient myself this time. She closed her eyes, picturing the secret passages' map in her head. This way, she decided. Elsa carefully made her way through the maze of tunnels, passages, stairs, and chutes toward the secret door opening to the forest behind the castle. Soon she reached the door. Elsa paused, her hand on the hidden switch that slid the door up. I'm really doing this! I'm going to be outside for the first time in years! Pulse racing; adrenaline coursing through her, Elsa pushed the switch and the door slid up. Elsa stepped through the door and it clicked down behind her. She set the candle next to the entrance so she could easily find it again. Outside, outside! I'm outside! Sunlight danced through the trees. Elsa saw a small clearing a little ways into the forest with a creek bubbling through it. She ran into the clearing and turned her face upwards, basking in the sun's rays shining down on her, even though she couldn't actually feel their warmth. I love it out here. Nothing matters to me right now. Nothing! It's just me and the trees and the sun and the water. Happy tears ran down Elsa's face. Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…wait. Not right now, Elsa. You're happy. Surely it's all right to feel that. You can dump that stolid, phlegmatic self, just for a little while. Elsa flopped on the ground next to the creek and just watched the water flow for a while. I want to touch the water…really touch it…without freezing it. She debated the idea for a few minutes and decided she'd better not. Too risky. I'd be found out instantly if I froze the creek in the middle of summer. Elsa turned over on her back and watched the clouds overhead contentedly. I'm free from worries, free from cares… I wish I could stay out here forever. Soon, Elsa was so relaxed she fell asleep there next to the creek, lying in the sun.
Winter…snow falling…no wait, it's summertime. Elsa floated off in a dream. "No, silly, it's December!" five-year-old Anna said. "Almost Christmas and MY birthday!"
"December? I thought it was July," eight-year-old Elsa said.
"You're funny! Why would it snow in July?" Anna giggled.
"Me, of course!" little Elsa replied, showering Anna with snowflakes.
"Oh, oh, yeah! Again, again! Make snowy icy towers to jump on!"
Elsa laughed and agreed. Anna jumped from one tower to the next, as fast as Elsa made them. Anna began to jump faster. "Wait, slow down!" Elsa exclaimed.
Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making a mound of soft powdery snow. "ANNA!"
"That was awesome!" Anna shrieked, shaking snow out of her hair.
"Oh, thank goodness you're all right!" Elsa said, running to Anna and holding her tight.
REWIND
Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making another icy tower, but she missed and hit Anna instead. "ANNA!"
Anna gasped and fell to the floor, unconscious. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"
"It was an accident! I'm sorry, Anna…"
Accident…accident…accident… The word echoed again and again.
REWIND
Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and simply screamed. "ANNA!"
Anna fell to the floor limply. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"
"I didn't do anything!" Elsa cried in horror. "She jumped and-"
"You should have caught her with your powers! You should have done something! Your five-year-old sister is dead because you stood by and did nothing!" the king interrupted.
Eight-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed.
REWIND
Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making another icy tower, but she missed and hit Anna instead. "ANNA!"
Anna gasped and fell to the floor. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"
"It was an accident! I'm sorry, Anna…"
"You shouldn't have tried to catch her your powers! You shouldn't have been playing with your powers in the first place! They're dangerous! Your five-year-old sister is dead, frozen solid, because of your actions," the king interrupted.
Eight-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed.
FLASH FORWARD
Sixteen-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed. "Why am I always wrong no matter what I do? Anna gets hurt or killed whether I do nothing, or if I try to help!"
"Remember me?" Five-year-old Anna tapped Elsa on the shoulder. Elsa turned to look at her.
"Wait, why are you still little? You're supposed to be thirteen!"
"You're supposed to be eight!" little Anna said. "Anyway, I don't care how old you are. You're my big sister Elsa and I love you!" Little Anna threw her arms around Elsa and hugged her close.
"Don't hug me! I'm dangerous! I froze you!" Elsa said, trying to push little Anna away.
"Not in happy dreamland you didn't!" Little Anna continued holding Elsa tight.
"And in real life I'm alive and well," a thirteen-year-old Anna said.
Elsa looked to see what the new voice was. "Two Annas?!" She turned to older Anna.
"No, Elsa! Just me. Do you want to build a snowman?" thirteen-year-old Anna asked.
"Yes…but I can't! Don't you understand? I'm dangerous! I froze you! I almost killed you!"
"I don't care. You didn't do that on purpose. You tried to catch me. I love you, Elsa. You're my sister, and don't you forget that." Older Anna ran to Elsa and gave her a hug.
"Don't hug me! I might hurt you again! I have to run away from here! I think Mom and Dad must hate me."
"Our parents can't possibly hate you, Elsa. Even if they do, I sure don't. I'll run away with you!"
"My powers, Anna! I can't control them! You can't run away with your disabled sister! It's not safe!" Elsa cried.
"Elsa, I want to come with you anyway. We can just run off by ourselves. Maybe out in the forest! Or up the North Mountain!"
A bright flash appeared.
"See? We're free here!" Anna grabbed Elsa's bare hand and ran through the snow in the forest.
Another bright flash appeared.
"We're free here too!" Anna grabbed Elsa's bare hand as they stood on the summit of the North Mountain.
Suddenly, Anna disappeared, leaving Elsa all alone on the mountain. "Anna? Anna?! Where are you?"
In real life, Elsa abruptly jerked awake. What was all that? What a weird dream…Anna doesn't even know about my powers in real life. I rather wish she did; at least she'd know why I can't be around her. In fact, Anna should know. It should be her right to know…I wish I could tell her. Elsa looked around herself, relieved that she was just laying on the grass beside the creek. She looked up at the sky and realized it must be late. The sun was very low in the sky, almost sunset. I hope I didn't miss dinner. Elsa jumped up and ran back to the secret entrance. After fumbling to get it back open, she headed as quick as she dared to go without risking getting lost through the passages back to her room.
A minute after Elsa had closed the secret entrance to the passages back in her room, she heard a knock on the door and Gerda saying she had brought Elsa's dinner. Thank goodness I came back just in time. Elsa ran to unlock the door, then retreated back to the far side of the room. "The door is unlocked."
Gerda set Elsa's dinner on the desk and then asked, "Did you think of another thing, Princess Elsa?"
Oops…I forgot. Too much excitement from going outside, I suppose. Wait, I know… "I think I'm good at memorizing things." Like maps for secret passages, Elsa thought with a smile.
"Good. You can tell me something else tomorrow morning." Gerda looked questioningly at Elsa. "Princess Elsa, your face is red as a beet. It looks like…well, it looks like sunburn…"
Elsa's hands flew to her cheeks, which were stinging, now that she thought about it. Oh no. I fell asleep for who knows how long earlier lying in the sun. Of course I got sunburned…me with my pale skin…
"Did you go outside or something earlier? It wouldn't have taken much for you to get sunburned with your fair complexion."
Elsa hung her head. "I went out in the forest earlier," she whispered. "I knew there wouldn't be anyone out there, so I thought it would be safe…Are you going to tell on me? I probably shouldn't have done that." Elsa didn't add that she'd been outside all afternoon…sleeping in the sun. Or exactly how she had gotten outside.
"Certainly not! Be careful in the forest, though." She stays in this room all the time; she should get to go outside anyway, Gerda thought. "But I think your face is going to tell on you if your parents see you before the sunburn fades…"
"Could you try to keep them from 'visiting' me till it's gone?" Elsa asked hopefully.
"I can try, but I know there is something they want to discuss with you," Gerda said.
I bet it's that betrothal thing, Elsa thought. "Well, thank you all the same. I know! Would the sunburn pass for a really bad case of blushing?"
"Sorry, Princess Elsa, I think not. You hardly ever blush in the first place, and not to mention, no one blushes on their foreheads," Gerda shook her head.
"Thank you for dinner." Elsa said.
Gerda knew Elsa was politely saying 'please leave', so she left.
As soon as Gerda left and Elsa had locked the door, Elsa went into her bathroom and tried to think of some way to cover up that sunburn. I'll be in huge trouble if Mom and Dad find out I went outside. Why had she gone out there anyway? You went outside because you've been stuck in this room for eight years. That's why. And it was amazing too. It was freedom for a few hours. Sunlight. Trees. Water. Grass. Elsa's bangs partly hid the sunburn on her forehead, but there wasn't anything else she could do. You know what, Elsa? Don't worry about it. You went outside and were actually happy for a while. No regrets. Not this time. I suppose I'll just have to be queen of the lobsters for a while. Oh well. Elsa stuck out her tongue and made faces at her reflection in the mirror. Seeing herself with a bright red face was rather amusing. Whoa, Elsa, you just stuck out your tongue. Bad girl! You aren't supposed to do that. She paused in her thoughts for a moment, then continued to herself, You know what, self? I don't care. I don't care at all. Look, I'm sticking out my tongue! Ooh, that's so terrible! Elsa was just in a very perky mood, quite unlike her usual depressed or aloof self. Going outside had lifted her spirits considerably. She pulled her hair down out of its braided bun and let it hang down her back in a single braid. Then she decided to undo the braid too. Elsa's platinum hair cascaded down her back in loose waves. What if your parents saw you now? They would say you're being scandalous because sixteen-year-olds are just wayyy too old to go around with their down. Except this sixteen-year-old is alone in her room, so who cares? Not me! She paraded out of the bathroom and climbed on her bed. Elsa suddenly had the ingenious idea to jump on the bed, something she hadn't done since she was eight. La la la…look, Princess Elsa is jumping on the bed! Boing! Boing! Boing! Elsa tired of her loose hair flying in her face, so she stopped bouncing and put it back in a single braid. Oh, I forgot about my dinner, she thought. Elsa sat down at her desk and quickly ate her dinner. You are definitely going outside again tomorrow Elsa, whether you technically 'should' or not. I haven't been this happy in years. Just this time, I'm taking a hat so I don't get sunburned again. After she finished eating, Elsa put on her nightgown and curled up in bed with a book.
Elsa fell asleep with the thought that she hadn't had to try to suppress her powers with 'conceal, don't feel' at all after going outside.
A/N: So...Elsa's mostly happy at the moment.:)
I would really appreciate feedback on Elsa's dream sequence...I meant it to 'make sense but be a bit confusing'...opinions please.:)
I'll update again soon! (As in when I figure out where I want my next chapter break:P)