A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited! *jumps about like a crazy person*XD Also thanks to everyone who's reading but not reviewing.:)
Sorry to burst your bubble-Because she genuinely believes it's not safe for her to be close to Anna. She just wants to be allowed to talk to Anna through the door.:) Don't worry, Elsa won't run away in the story. She might think being away from everyone will fix everything, but she definitely isn't going to make plans to run away.:)
Thepopcornpup-Lol, you made me laugh. Yeah, eyes literally bulging out would be pretty ickyXDXD But I'm glad you liked it!:) That's what I thought too...that Elsa has a right to be mad. Thanks for the confirmation!:)
Lindstrom-No kidding! Even in the movie, they're all like 'Elsa what have you done? This is getting out of hand!' Um, she's 8 at that point for one thing, and they should have asked what exactly happened...:/ I don't care how much Agdar and Idun genuinely did or did not 'care' about Elsa; they DEFINITELY didn't "approve" of her or her powers. (My opinion, anyway) Therefore I don't think they treated her fairly at all...ok, I'm going on way too long about this.:P Anyway, thanks for the confirmation about Elsa's reaction; that's what I thought too but I wanted others' opinions:) I'm glad you like "my" Elsa:)
On to the story...:)
After Gerda explained the problem to the king and queen, they hurried upstairs. Several knocks later, Agdar finally said, "Elsa, if you don't unlock the door, we're going to open it ourselves."
No answer.
Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw inside Elsa's room. Rain poured in the shattered window. Tiny shards of glass lay all over the window seat and on the floor surrounding the window. The entire floor was a sheet of ice. One wall was covered with ice, and hundreds of icicles were lodged in the ice all over the wall. And then there was Elsa, lying on her side in the middle of the floor; her bare hands held close to her chest even though she wasn't awake. There were dried tears streaking Elsa's face, but her expression didn't look unhappy. She was almost smiling.
Wait, bare hands? the king thought. "Elsa did this on purpose for some reason."
"King Agdar, I'm sure Princess Elsa didn't mean anything," Gerda said in Elsa's defense. "And…I don't think she's just sleeping. She would have woken up by now…"
"Gerda is right, Agdar…Elsa's unconscious, and she's shivering," Idun said as she knelt down beside Elsa. "Something is wrong! Elsa is never affected by the cold." She hesitated before grabbing Elsa's cold hands to rub them to warm them up. "Gerda, do you know what happened here?" Idun asked, holding up Elsa's still-bandaged left hand.
"Goodness, I don't know. Princess Elsa never said anything about hurting herself. May I suggest moving the princess somewhere warmer if she's cold? It's wet and freezing in here…" Gerda said.
"Good idea. We'll take her to one of the guest rooms."
When Elsa came to later that evening, the first coherent thought that came to mind was, My plan worked. I can see Anna now. It's safe. The next thing her mind registered was that she felt horrible. Elsa felt hollow and empty all over, like something was missing inside; and she felt like she was going to throw up. That's stupid. I haven't even eaten anything. What's wrong with me? Why can't I move? Elsa slowly blinked her eyes open and saw four faces staring down at her. Dad, Mom, Gerda, Anna…Anna! I see Anna! "Anna…" she said almost inaudibly.
"Are you ok, Elsa? What happened?" Anna asked.
Not thinking, Elsa started to say, "I shot i-" and Anna was promptly escorted from the room before she could say anything else. A moment later, Elsa realized what she had been about to say and whispered, "I'm sorry…" as a single tear rolled down her cheek. I lost Anna again. Elsa's eyes scanned her surroundings. This isn't my room. "Where am I?"
"One of the guest rooms. We found you unconscious on the floor in your room, which coincidentally was absolutely full of ice," Agdar said. "What were you doing?"
Elsa's tired eyes began to drift shut again. "I feel awful. Like I'm going…to throw up or something… And all hollow and empty…" I don't care what anyone thinks I was doing. The important thing is that I got rid of that…that ice inside me. She just needed to explain that to her parents and then they would get Anna and everything would be fine.
"Do you need a bucket?"
"No…I haven't eaten anything…can Anna please come back?" Elsa struggled to stay awake. "It's…safe for her now…"
Gerda had been thinking about the mess they'd found in Elsa's room and put the pieces together. "King Agdar, Queen Idun…I think Princess Elsa made all that ice on purpose, but she was trying to get all her powers out of herself somehow. That's why she feels 'empty' and why she was shivering when we found her in her room."
"Is that true, Elsa?" Idun asked.
"Yes…" Elsa said, her eyes still closed even though she was technically awake. Well, it started because I got angry, but…I did it for so long because I wanted to try to get rid of all that swirling cold inside and be safe for Anna… "It worked, too…see?" She managed to lift her right hand a little, tried to use her powers, and failed. The only indication of Elsa's abilities was that the temperature of her skin dropped, nothing visible. No ice or snow. Elsa's hand dropped limply back on the bed. "Can Anna please come back?"
"Are you pretending to be unable to use your powers?"
Elsa's blue eyes blinked open again. "Do you honestly…think I have enough…control to try something like that?" That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I could never do that…even if I actually wanted to…and believe me, right now I want to, even if that IS an outright lie… "I just…want Anna to…come back…" Elsa's eyes shut once more and she fell asleep without trying to.
"Let Anna come back, Agdar," Idun said. "You know Elsa isn't faking. She wouldn't be able to do that even if she wanted to."
"True. I'll get Anna." Agdar came back a minute later with a very excited Anna. "Now, Anna, your sister is sick. Don't wake her up."
"Yeah, yeah," Anna replied. You fibbed that Elsa was sick and said that was why I couldn't be around her…and now that she genuinely is ill, I can be with her? Ok, then. That doesn't make much sense… Anna was confused, but she certainly wasn't going to question it. She pulled up a chair next to the bed where Elsa lay and plopped into it as she took Elsa's bare hand in hers. Elsa isn't wearing gloves now…I wonder why. Maybe she takes them off when she goes to sleep, Anna decided.
Agdar and Idun left the room, telling Gerda to stay and keep an eye on the girls. "There's something we need to discuss together," Agdar explained.
The second their parents left the room, Anna asked Gerda, "Is Elsa's hand ok? She told me she cut it the other day, but she wouldn't show me." Anna eyed Elsa's other hand, the one with the bandage on it.
"She's fine, princess. I checked it earlier before she woke up. Evidently, your sister had already taken good care of it herself," Gerda said.
Anna frowned. "You mean…Elsa didn't get someone to take care of it for her? She did it herself instead?" Anna squeezed her sister's hand, which made Elsa stir awake.
Elsa felt someone holding her hand and instantly started trying to pull away from instinct. "Anna?" she asked when she realized just who it was. Anna. I have to make her let go, just in case. She's touching my bare hand! She kept trying to tug her hand out of Anna's grasp, but she still felt too weak to make much of a fuss.
"Right here, Elsa. Do you feel better now?" Anna asked as she brushed messy wisps of platinum hair out of Elsa's face.
"Not really, but I…do because you're…here now," Elsa said. "You shouldn't touch me…I think it's safe right now but…" It's safe right now but this isn't permanent…I can feel it. Elsa suddenly had a sinking feeling that as soon as she recovered and felt better, those powers of hers would be back at full strength. This time with Anna is temporary. Enjoy it as much as possible, because it'll probably never happen again. No, I know it'll never happen again…
"Can I get you anything?" Anna asked. "Maybe some dinner? I know you haven't eaten anything."
The notion of food made Elsa feel like she wanted to throw up all the more. "No food…can I have my gloves back though? Please?"
Anna made a silly face. "What, you think I have cooties or something?" Anna turned to Gerda. "Will you please get my sister, Miss Germophobe, what she wants?"
"Yes, princess," Gerda said and left the room.
Elsa giggled quietly but didn't attempt to convince Anna otherwise. As long as Anna thinks that, no matter how silly it is; I won't have to worry about trying to explain about those powers.
"I'm sorry I ratted on you earlier," Anna said suddenly. "Did I get you in huge trouble?"
"Don't be sorry, Anna. You did it because I…was in danger, not because you thought… 'Mwahaha, I'm gonna tattle on Elsa and get her in trouble!' I'm not mad at you…at all. All right, I admit it…I did get in huge…trouble, but it's not your fault." Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, trying to keep from crying and forget about what was going to happen the moment she was better. "Maybe I shouldn't…shouldn't have gone outside in the first place…"
Anna frowned. Is Elsa really blaming herself for what happened? If she were allowed outside that room in the first place, she wouldn't have had to sneak outside… "Elsa…what exactly happened? Define 'huge trouble.'"
Gerda came back with the gloves, relieving Elsa of having to answer Anna's question. "Here, Princess Elsa."
I hate those things. I hate needing them, Elsa thought. "Thank you, Gerda."
Anna reluctantly slipped the gloves over her sister's waiting fingers. "Now I can't hold your hand properly," Anna complained.
That's kind of the point, Elsa thought sadly. Out loud she said, "Just pretend they're not there, Anna." She gave Anna's hand a weak squeeze.
"Hmph. Well, if I gotta choose between you locked in your room or me holding your hand even if you're wearing gloves, I'll certainly choose the second," Anna declared.
So would I, Anna. So would I. But sometime soon I'll be back in that room and we won't even have this. And it won't be safe anymore. Elsa gave Anna a sad smile, but said nothing. I love you, Anna.
Finally happy and contented even though she was certain this was temporary, Elsa fell asleep, her hand still clutching Anna's tightly. A few minutes later, Anna was asleep, too.
No one realized that all the ice back in Elsa's room had completely disappeared.
Gerda left the two sleeping girls upstairs and headed downstairs to tell the king and queen that Elsa and Anna were both asleep. Downstairs in the Great Hall, Agdar and Idun were having a discussion. "You can't really be thinking about doing that," Idun said, frowning.
"Idun, she made herself seriously ill just to see Anna. You know as well as I do that making that huge mess in her room didn't permanently get rid of her powers. It's just temporary. This might be the only way to keep everyone safe."
"We cannot go and fix up that old cell with the special shackles in the dungeon for our own daughter! There's something wrong with that picture, don't you think? What would Elsa think if she found out about it? She'd be devastated."
"You know why that cell exists in the first place, don't you? Long time ago, my own great-great-grandmother had powers just like Elsa's. She never did learn how to control it. Her powers became so dangerous and out of control that she made that cell for herself because people wanted to kill her for having those powers. That was the 'compromise' she came up with. And she spent the rest of her life down there until she…" Agdar said.
"That is not going to happen to our daughter, Agdar. I'm sure Elsa will figure it out eventually."
"And if she doesn't?"
"Well, then…I don't know…"
"Then it's settled. We'll have to fix it up and clean it out, just in case. Also, Elsa has been acting up lately…what if she starts freezing things on purpose or something?"
Gerda stood outside the Great Hall, finding this whole conversation strange and horrifying. She gave a loud knock before entering the Great Hall. "Both Princess Elsa and Princess Anna are fast asleep." She turned to head back upstairs, but Agdar called her back.
"How much of that conversation did you overhear?"
"I heard enough," Gerda said with a frown. Enough to know that whole idea is terrible.
"Elsa and Anna are not to know anything about this, do you understand?"
"Of course…King Agdar, may I have permission to speak my opinion on the matter?"
"You have permission to speak freely."
"Thank you. Now, my opinion…King Agdar, that is a horrible idea! Princess Elsa is still a child-she's only sixteen. How could you even consider locking her in the dungeon? She tries her best to control her powers all the time…she's done nothing wrong."
"That mess of ice in her room did not look very controlled to me. She also kept going outside and talking to Anna after being told not to."
"She was trying to get rid of her powers! Something that's a physical part of her! She also made herself sick in the process. And you can't expect her to stay in that room forever or never talk to her own sister…"
"That's enough, Gerda. It's for Elsa's own good, not to mention everyone else's. I withdraw permission for you to speak freely."
"Very well. Good night, King Agdar, Queen Idun." Gerda turned and headed back upstairs to keep an eye on the two sleeping princesses.
"Wait! Slow down!" … "Anna…sorry…accident! Please…" Elsa's distressed voice woke Anna up later in the middle of the night.
"Elsa? What's the matter?" Anna asked. She fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on the nightstand.
"…I didn't mean to…" Elsa said.
Didn't mean to what? Anna wondered. She frowned at her sleeping sister. Elsa was crying in her sleep. "Elsa, it's ok. Everything's fine. Just a yucky dream," Anna said softly as she took Elsa's hands in hers.
Elsa blinked sleepily up at Anna. "What's…going on?"
"I think you were having a nightmare…something you didn't mean to or something. But it's over, Elsa. It's fine. We're just here together. Nothing happened."
It's not fine. That wasn't just a dream. That really happened. And I can't even tell you about it. Elsa's tears began anew, and she held Anna's hand as if her life depended on it.
"Elsa, please stop crying! It was just an icky dream. Elsa?" Anna wasn't sure what to do. Finally, she wiggled her hand out of Elsa's grasp and sat down on the bed next to Elsa. Then Anna helped Elsa to a sitting position and pulled her close, letting Elsa cry on her shoulder. And she wondered again why her sister's body felt so cold.
You shouldn't hug me. Why do you even want to after all that time? It's safe right now, but I know it won't be soon. Elsa couldn't believe Anna would want to try to comfort her when she hadn't even explained what the problem was, but she didn't question it further to either herself or aloud to Anna. Elsa buried her face in Anna's shoulder and let the tears flow.
Neither she nor Anna said a word to the other. Being together was enough.
The next morning found the two sisters asleep together tangled in each other's arms. Elsa woke up first, as she usually awoke far earlier than Anna did. She was actually disappointed to find that she felt a little better, because that meant she wouldn't get much more safe time with Anna. At least I don't feel like I'm going to barf anymore. That icky hollow and empty feeling can stay as long as possible though, because I know that has something to do with my powers. Elsa was right; her body felt as if there were something missing because there really was-she'd purged nearly all of the innate powers of everything cold inside her the day before. She wiggled herself out of Anna's arms and gave her sister a gentle shake. "Anna? Wake up!"
Anna mumbled something incoherent that ended with something about chocolate.
Elsa giggled and shook Anna harder before flopping back against the pillows, having used up the little energy she had. "Anna, we aren't having chocolate for breakfast!"
Anna sat up straight. "We're having chocolate for breakfast?! Yum!"
"I said we AREN'T having chocolate for breakfast," Elsa replied, still giggling.
"Rats. By the way, you look way better this morning, Elsa. I'm glad you're getting better! You kinda scared me last night, staying unconscious like that for all that time," Anna said.
"I'm not glad," Elsa mumbled, looking away from Anna. It means we don't have much more safe time together.
Anna frowned. "Why not?"
Elsa tried to think of a way to explain her thoughts to Anna without saying anything about uncontrollable ice powers. "Because…because the second I'm recovered, I know I'll be back in my room. It won't be safe anymore…"
That makes about zero sense…why does Elsa keep saying it's not safe for me to be around her? I bet Mom and Dad are putting dumb ideas in her head. Wait, I know… "That 'not safe' thing is so dumb. You are not dangerous. But if you're so sure that's what will happen when you're all the way better, maybe you could pretend to be sicker than you are so we get more time together?" Anna suggested.
I can't do that. It's physically impossible for me to do that… Elsa thought, although she really wished she could do that, even if it was kind of lying. Actually that's outright lying, not kinda sorta lying. "Anna, I can't do that…."
"Sure you can! Just do like this!" Anna proceeded to make what she thought was a pitiful expression but really just looked amusing.
Elsa began giggling again. "If I made that face at our parents, they would know for certain I was faking. And also think I had rocks in my head. Do you realize how funny you looked just now?"
Anna pretended to look put out but couldn't help laughing. "You don't appreciate my acting?"
"Not if I'm supposed to take it seriously! It was great for a comedy act, though. If you're going to make a good acting face, try this…" Elsa made her own pitiful expression before smiling back at Anna. "How was that?"
"Elsa, don't do that. That was a little too convincing for my taste," Anna said, frowning. Was she really a hundred percent acting?
"I thought that was the point."
"Yeah, but that was too good. It didn't even look like you were just acting… But hey, that's a good thing if you're trying to be convincing to someone else! Do that again when our parents come in here!"
"No. I can't," Elsa said roughly, turning her face away from Anna. I will not let them see me that way, no matter how I really feel. No crying; no sniveling; no appearing hurt or shaken. If they want cold, then that's what they'll get. A detached and completely emotionless me. That's what I'm supposed to be anyway, perfect all the time…conceal, don't feel… She hadn't forgotten how hurt she had felt at the accusation of being cold and heartless. Maybe I'll let Anna see the real me though. Nobody else. Except that once I'm better, I won't be able to feel anymore without completely losing control again; it won't be safe…I wish I were just normal…
Anna knew there was something else to Elsa's words, something she was probably not going to share. She isn't mad…she's upset about something… "Elsa, look at me."
Elsa slowly turned her head back towards Anna but said nothing. Elsa's expression was so blankly neutral it would have been unnerving if it weren't for her blue eyes betraying her genuine stormy feelings.
Anna did a double take at her sister's expression. Well, if you want to call it that… "Elsa, stop making that face. If you're upset or mad or whatever, it's fine."
"No, it isn't." And I can't even explain why… Elsa closed her eyes and reached for Anna's hand. I will not ruin the little bit of time we have together.
Anna frowned but didn't say anything more. She remembered that Elsa could be very stubborn when she wanted to be from when they were little. "Well, um…do you maybe want some breakfast?" Anna asked to change the subject.
Anna was rewarded with a small smile from Elsa. "Are you sure you want to ask that? I might barf on you," she teased. You shouldn't have said that, Elsa. What would Mom and Dad think, the crown princess joking about throw-up? Never mind, I don't care. Too bad. They're not in here to hear me anyway. That was funny, if I dare say so myself…
"EW! GROSS! I hate throw up!" Anna squealed and jumped away from Elsa. She realized Elsa was teasing when she heard quiet giggles. "That wasn't funny, Elsa!" Then she remembered that Elsa didn't get Anna's teasing show-off joke before and got upset instead, so she added, "Well, it's kinda funny. Just, like, not, you know, hilarious funny."
Gerda knocked on the door and said she had breakfast for Anna, and Elsa too if she wanted it.
"The door's already open," Anna called.
"Thank you for not saying 'The door is unlocked'," Elsa said quietly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Anna asked.
"Never mind." Elsa didn't want to explain the significance of that particular phrase to her.
"Ha! I thought you said we weren't having chocolate for breakfast," Anna said triumphantly when Gerda handed her a plate of chocolate-chip pancakes.
"We're not…are we?" Elsa started trying to sit up on her own, but only made it about halfway before flopping back down on her back. "Good grief, what is wrong with me? I can't even sit up properly…And wait, I do smell chocolate…are they chocolate-chip pancakes?"
"I can see you're feeling a little better, Princess Elsa," Gerda said with a smile as she helped Elsa sit up and lean against the pillows. "Don't scare us like you did last night again!"
I wonder if I can just do that again after I'm all the way better…then I would get to have more time with Anna. As nasty as Elsa had felt when she'd come to the night before, she would feel like that a hundred times over if it meant she could safely spend time with Anna. "May I have a pancake, please?" she asked.
"Duh, Elsa, of course you can! Why do you think Gerda brought our breakfast in here?" Anna said, and handed Elsa the breakfast tray.
"Thank you, Anna," Elsa replied, sniffing the delicious-smelling pancakes. She and Anna ate in a happy silence for a few minutes until Elsa started feeling exhausted again. But I don't want to take a nap. What if I wake up and feel completely better? Then it'll be bye-bye safe time with Anna… She stifled a yawn.
"Princess Elsa, perhaps you should rest and take a nap?" Gerda suggested.
"I don't want to…I want to stay awake and be with Anna."
"Elsa, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here all the time," Anna assured her.
That's not it, Anna. It's me. Stupid, uncontrollable me. "That's not it…I don't want to go to sleep and wake up back in my room or something," Elsa said. Especially since my room's door is going to have the locks changed, which is completely unfair and rather creepy…
"Not happening. Elsa, take a nap. I'll even wake you up in a couple hours if you want me to," Anna replied.
"Well…" Despite her protests, Elsa found herself falling asleep. "I love…you, Anna…" Her mind half-registered Anna pulling the covers around her shoulders, and thought, Thank you, Anna, even though I can't feel temperatures…
Anna flopped on the bed next to Elsa and began reading a book until Elsa woke up.
When their parents came to check on them a few minutes later, Elsa was fast asleep and Anna was still reading. "How is Elsa doing?" Idun asked.
"She ate one pancake before getting all tired again and falling asleep," Anna said. "So I guess she's a little better. Mom, Dad…Elsa actually said she wasn't glad that she felt a little better because the second she was recovered, she'd be back in her room. That's not normal. Elsa actually wants to be sick so everything's not back like it was before…can't we change some things around here? Please? I've missed Elsa tons. It's so nice to get to be around her, even if she's sick and can't really play with me…" Anna put her arm around Elsa and gave her a hug, which woke her up.
Elsa blinked for a moment before focusing and remembering where she was. She smiled and was about to hug Anna back when she noticed who else was in the room. Go away. I want Anna to myself, without worrying I'm doing something wrong every minute. Elsa put on that same blankly neutral expression that she'd done earlier.
Anna noticed Elsa's abruptly changing mood and frowned. "Elsa, what's wrong?"
When their parents asked Elsa how she was feeling, Anna immediately had the answer.
"Does it matter? Leave me alone." Elsa's words were almost spat out. You just want to know if I'm better enough that those dumb powers are back. Well, they're not, not yet, and I'm very glad. She turned over, away from their parents, and pulled the covers over her head. Ok, why did I do that? I just wasted my little bit of energy doing that.
"Elsa, we just want to know how you're doing. Can we do anything for you?"
Yeah, just LEAVE ME ALONE. "No." Elsa's voice was muffled under the covers.
Elsa listened as Anna was sent out of the room because 'we need to talk to Elsa'. Now I know what Mom and Dad want to talk about. "Anna will eavesdrop outside the door. And quite honestly, I hope she is," Elsa said as she struggled to turn back over and look at her parents.
"Gerda, please make sure Anna isn't right outside the door," Idun said.
Gerda obliged. Sure enough, Anna was standing right outside the door. "Come along, princess, you can come back later."
"But I don't wanna leave Elsa!" Elsa heard Anna say.
"Now Elsa, be honest: Are you well enough that your powers are back?" Agdar asked.
I knew it. "Why?" Elsa asked.
"You know why."
Elsa kept her expression unreadable, but she was more than a little angry on the inside. She said nothing.
"Answer please, or you'll have to go back to your room anyway. The truth now."
"Fine. No, they're not back yet, and I'm glad. Trust me, if my powers were back, this room would probably be covered with ice right now." Elsa's expression stayed neutral, but her blue eyes were flashing. She was angry.
Agdar and Idun exchanged a glance. "Is that a threat?"
Elsa said nothing but kept that piercing gaze of hers on her parents. Yeah, it is. Honestly I don't know if I'd follow through with it or not…meh, I probably would involuntarily…
"You won't mind if we just test that, would you?"
As a matter of fact, I do mind. Elsa still said nothing, just kept staring.
"And do stop staring like that. It's unnerving."
Good. I don't care. Elsa kept quiet.
"Elsa, please try to use your powers. If you can't, we'll get Anna and leave you both alone for awhile again."
That got Elsa's attention. She did want Anna to come back. Elsa slipped off one glove and attempted to shoot an icicle at the window. This had better not work because purposely breaking a window is definitely obnoxious. Although, at the moment, I don't particularly care…
A/N: So, kinda sorta cliffhanger...IDK.:) Anyway, more coming soon! I'll probably take longer to update this time because I don't have any more written. (I know what will happen, but I haven't written it out yet:P)
So...that was my explanation of that cell Elsa was locked in during the movie. I found it abhorrently creepy if her parents actually built the whole place for her, so that's my explanation. There wasn't enough time for Hans to have that built, so it had to have already been there. So, ta-da! This also kind of explains where Elsa's powers came from. They run in her family.:) (Maybe it's a recessive gene or something, IDK:P)
I know Elsa is angry at the moment, but like I thought and what some of you guys thought too; I think she has good reason to be. Anyway...:/
Next chapter coming sometime soon!:)
