A/N: Thanks to everyone who's favorited/followed and/or reading but not reviewing:)
Lindstrom-Confused and dysfunctional is right:/ Thanks for the compliment.:) Awesome, I'm glad you like the way Anna is acting:)
Sorry to burst your bubble-Lol, thanksXD I thought that part was funny too, actually...;) (My sister and I have said that to each other before, so...yeah:P And also were told it was disgusting;) I guess parents have no sense of humor sometimes...XD)
On to the story!:)
Elsa felt a tingling sensation in her fingertips, but no icicle appeared. Well, at least they're not really back yet, she thought. She looked at her hand anyway and was disappointed to find a barely detectable sheen of frost on her palm. No, no, no, please don't come back yet… "It doesn't work," Elsa said.
"And it's lucky for you it didn't. You were going to shoot your ice at the window. You already broke the one in your room."
And what of it? It's just glass. Elsa quickly reached for her glove before her parents noticed the frost on her palm that she didn't know how to get rid of.
"Let me see your hand, Elsa."
Elsa sighed and reluctantly held out her bare hand. Come on, just don't notice the frost. That's the worst I can do when I'm purposely trying to use my powers right now, so I'll still be safe around Anna a little while longer.
"There's frost on your hand. I think we should help you back to your room…"
"No!" Elsa exclaimed, and jerked her hand away. Calm down, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel…no emotions right now. "That is the absolute worst thing I can do right now. I'll still be safe for Anna to be around a little longer." She thought about adding, 'Besides, I don't think I can walk to my room right now anyway'; but then thought better of it since somebody had to have carried her into the guest room in the first place. Therefore, that was an invalid argument.
"How are you going to explain frost on your hand to Anna?"
"I won't have to. I'll keep the gloves on; I promise," Elsa said. Please, please, please just let Anna come back now. Every minute that passes I'm burning daylight, wasting time I could be spending with Anna instead. Wait, "burning daylight"…the girl with ICE powers is thinking about burning daylight… Elsa found this thought amusing. She was the farthest thing from burning or hot. Maybe I should be thinking, "freezing daylight" instead!
"Elsa, what on earth is so amusing?"
"Mmm…nothing," Elsa said, making sure to wipe the amused expression off her face. She was sure her parents would not think her wordplay was funny. "Well, can Anna come back now?"
As it turned out, no one had to answer that question because Anna came running into the room with a bowl of chocolates, jumped on the bed, and accidentally dumped half the chocolates on top of her and Elsa. "Um, oops? Sorry, Elsa!"
Elsa bit her tongue to keep from bursting out laughing. Saved by crazy Anna. She came back on her own. "It's fine, Anna."
"Where did you get an entire bowl of chocolate, Anna?" Idun asked.
"I might have kinda sorta gotten it out of the kitchen myself? Anyway, I got it for Elsa and me to share. I won't eat it all," Anna said. She started putting all the spilled chocolates back in the bowl.
"Well, don't feed a ton of chocolate to your sister. She's still sick."
"Chocolate'll make her feel better," Anna answered confidently.
Elsa spoke up, "I am right here, you know. And if you please, I think I can tell if I've overdosed on chocolate." She took a piece out of the bowl and popped it in her mouth. "Thank you for the chocolate, Anna."
"You'reshwelcomesh," Anna said with her mouth full.
"Princesses do not talk with their mouth full, Anna," Idun scolded.
"Private sister time, if you please?" Elsa said.
Their parents left the room, but not before giving Elsa a warning look that Elsa knew was about her powers. I know already. Do you think I want to put Anna in danger? Well, I don't. Frost would not hurt Anna anyway, and as long as I keep the gloves on, she won't even see that. Elsa mentally stuck out her tongue before focusing on her present safe time with Anna. "Anna, would you like to play chess while we eat our chocolate?"
"Ishlikeshchess! Sure!" Anna said with another chocolate in her mouth. "There's a chessboard in the library. Will you mind if I go get it?"
Elsa allowed herself to giggle now that they were alone again. "You know, Anna, I really do not need to see your half-chewed chocolate! And that's fine; just please come right back."
Anna ran to the library and returned a minute later with the chessboard. "Which color do you want to be-white or black?"
"I don't care; you can pick." Elsa was used to playing chess against herself alone, as was Anna.
"Ok, I want black."
"Then I get to go first," Elsa said, trying to sit up so she could see the board and failing.
"Yeah, exactly!" Anna said with a smile. "Hey, Elsa, I think you need some help."
"I think maybe I do," Elsa said as Anna helped her sit up all the way. "Thank you, Anna…not just for this." For not hating me; for being willing to spend time with me; for making me happy; for being you…
Anna quickly gave Elsa a hug. "You don't have to thank me for anything."
Yes, I do. "Is…is it really all right to hug you back?" Elsa suddenly realized she had not purposely hugged anyone since she was eight.
"Why wouldn't it be? I wouldn't have hugged you if I didn't want you to hug me back. You're silly, Elsa," Anna said, trying to add a bit of humor to the situation.
Elsa hesitantly returned Anna's hug. She knew it was safe at the moment, but the whole experience was still foreign to her.
"Hey Elsa, can I braid your hair?" Anna asked suddenly.
"I guess so. It's a mess from yesterday, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah, kind of. But I just wanted to fix it for you. Your hair is so pretty," Anna said.
"You think my hair is…pretty?" Elsa didn't particularly dislike her hair or anything, but she didn't think it was 'pretty', either. It was just there to her, although she knew it was a color that was hers and hers only, that was probably from her powers. Nobody she had seen in old family portraits had hair the same color as hers.
"Yeah, I do, and you're crazy if you don't agree." Anna undid the remains of Elsa's braid and began brushing out the tangles.
"Well, it's…ok, but I definitely don't think it's drop dead gorgeous or something. I mean, don't you think the color is a little weird?" Elsa asked. She eyed Anna's pigtail braids and added, "Will you do my hair like yours?"
"No to the first and yes to the second. I think it's cool you've got a unique shade of hair, and although I will gladly do pigtail braids, I don't know why you want to copy it. You're usually…uh…all elegant, and pigtail braids definitely aren't that!"
Elsa giggled, realizing the irony of Anna's 'cool' description of Elsa's hair. Cooler than you know! I just wish I could tell you the reason… "I just want to be like you."
"What? I always wanted to be like YOU!" Anna said.
No, you don't. You don't want to be like me or have uncontrollable ice powers. Of course, if our positions were reversed, maybe she would have figured it out by now… Elsa silently brushed a tear off her cheek and said nothing.
Anna quickly finished braiding Elsa's hair and pulled her into a hug again. "Elsa, I don't know what's the matter, but I'll always be here for you. No matter what."
"Thank you, Anna." Elsa's three quiet words could have just referred to fixing her hair, but as Elsa hoped, Anna figured otherwise. Elsa wasn't keen on expressing herself aloud clearly, nor did she think she really could even if she wanted to say everything weighing on her mind.
The girls sat in silence for a minute until they went back and started their chess game.
Ten minutes later, Elsa said, "Checkmate."
"What? Oh, come on, Elsa, that's no fair! That was, like, the absolute shortest chess game EVER!" Anna complained.
Elsa laughed. "Actually, it isn't. Watch this." She moved all the pieces back to their original starting positions and showed Anna how to pull a checkmate in only a couple moves. "That's the shortest chess game ever. Only, it will never, never work on most people because whoever's playing white has to be downright stupid…no offense to anyone. I figured that sequence of moves out awhile ago; I like playing against myself in my room."
"I like playing against myself too, actually! Except I think I need a LOT more practice before challenging you again. How long did our match last? I think it was like ten minutes!"
"Well, I am three years older than you, and I've probably practiced more than you too…" Elsa's voice trailed off. I've DEFINITELY practiced more than Anna, actually…stupid room situation, stupid powers, stupid a lot of other things…I've had lots of time to perfect chess skills…
"Hmph. Can we play again?"
"Sure. May I make a suggestion to try looking farther ahead to what moves I make? It'll probably help. And-" Elsa stopped talking as she felt a film of frost on her hand underneath her glove. Oh no, oh no…why now?! I'm not even really upset or anything…must have been what I was thinking about a minute ago. Conceal, don't feel; conceal; don't feel… She tried to will the frost to go, but it wouldn't. I can't touch Anna anymore. It isn't safe.
"Elsa, what's wrong?" Anna's voice cut into Elsa's thoughts.
"N-Nothing…let's play, all right?" Anna, just please don't touch me. If I tell her that aloud, she'll start doing it anyway trying to prove a point. Elsa was tempted to go back to her room, no matter how much the thought repulsed her, but she was certain that she couldn't make it on her own yet. And I am not calling for Mom and Dad. Just…no.
"Don't believe you that it's nothing," Anna muttered, but she didn't press the issue further.
They started their second chess match, but Elsa was having trouble keeping her mind on the game. When only a few minutes had passed and Anna said, "Check," she was sure something was wrong.
"Elsa, what is going on? You totally beat me in no time before, and now you're making moves that even I can tell are silly. What. Is. The. Deal?"
"I guess I wasn't concentrating." Elsa pulled herself back to Anna and the game and made her next move. "There. I just captured your queen. Happy now?" She sounded flat and neutral. You can't be emotional at all right now. Keep it in. Don't touch Anna.
"I don't know. I'm not talking about the game exactly…you're starting to act really strange. You sound a little like you did when our parents came in before, like you're trying to hold something inside," Anna said.
Elsa couldn't keep from saying, "Well, I am, ok? Stop asking me what's wrong! I'm fine!" You just shouted at Anna…YOU JUST SHOUTED AT ANNA, the sister you've been shutting out for eight years. Why did I do that?! Stupid, stupid, stupid… And mean…
"I will not! It's wrong to keep stuff inside; it's wrong to want to be sick so we can be together; you are not fine! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I want to help, but I can't if you won't tell me what's wrong! And you know what else is wrong? You shutting me out all this time without explaining why! It isn't fair! What are you so afraid of?" Anna exploded, then immediately regretted it when she saw Elsa's devastated expression.
Elsa was silent for a moment as both sad and angry tears streamed down her face. Anna's words hurt deeply because Elsa knew they were a hundred percent true, but she could do nothing about it. Get it together. Conceal, don't feel… As quickly as the tears had come, Elsa managed to send them away. "Life isn't fair."
"What kind of cr-cryp-"
"Cryptic," Elsa prompted.
"Yeah, that's the word-cryptic response is that?!" Anna finished, although there was another word in her head that started with 'c' that she thought fit just as well, if not better.
"A truthful one," Elsa replied. "Do you really honestly think I like this situation any more than you do?"
"Well, no; you wouldn't have tried to go outside if you did. BUT WHY?! I WANT TO KNOW WHY!"
"Anna, I can't tell you why. All I can say is it's for our own safety, especially yours," Elsa said. Do I dare say more? No, I can't…
"BUT IT'S STUPID! Elsa, how many times have I got to say it to get it into your thick skull that YOU ARE NOT DANGEROUS?! I'll prove it, too!" Anna reached for Elsa to try to give her a hug.
Elsa scooted away and accidentally rolled off the bed right onto the floor, landing with a thump. "Don't touch me! I am dangerous, Anna; you have to believe me! I can't tell you anything else. And please stop shouting; someone's going to come in here and want to know what's going on." And put me back in my room again, Elsa finished to herself. Should I really tell Anna why? I mean, what is the absolute worst thing that could happen if I did tell her the real reason? Do I dare do it? Maybe I should…no, I can't. What if it messes up Anna's memories or something?
"I WILL NOT STOP! Somebody, and I think I know who, is putting DUMB IDEAS in your head and I've gotta fix it! And WHY CAN'T YOU-"
Anna's tirade was cut short when their parents walked in.
"Told you," Elsa said pointedly to Anna.
"What is all the noise and shouting in here for?" Agdar asked.
"And why is Elsa on the floor?" Idun asked.
"Well…um…wewerejusttalkingandwekindofgotinadisagreementandElsafelloffthebedand…well, yeah," Anna finished.
Elsa privately rolled her eyes, knowing Anna's 'explanation' made no sense whatsoever to their parents. "Let me explain. We were playing chess. We had a…disagreement. I fell off the bed. The end." She struggled to pull herself back onto the bed.
"Elsa, what did you do to your-"
"My hair?" Elsa interrupted her mother. "It. Is. My. Hair. Pigtail braids like Anna's. I like it like this."
"Princesses do not interrupt. And just what were you and Anna disagreeing over?"
Tough luck, Elsa thought. "It was nothing."
"It was not either nothing! It was 'cause I want to know why things are the way they are around here and Elsa wouldn't tell me!" Anna said.
"I can't tell you! Can you please stop asking me?" Elsa asked.
"Sure, after either you or Mom or Dad tells me why," Anna shot back.
No one said anything. Anna stood with her hands on her hips, looking very annoyed; Elsa sat on the bed fiddling with one of her braids, making sure to keep herself void of expression; and their parents stood just inside the doorway glancing from one girl to the other. The seconds ticked by.
"Well?!" Anna broke the silence with the one question no one would answer.
"I daresay we should dump this topic and Anna and I can return to our chess game," Elsa tried to diffuse the situation.
"I think as Elsa is well enough to argue, she can go back to her room," Agdar said. "Can you make it down the hall on your own, or do you need help, Elsa?"
Elsa stared at him in annoyance. You say I'm well enough to go back to my room; but then a second later, you admit I probably can't even walk down the hall without help. "I would need help, but it doesn't matter because I am not going to my room right now," she said calmly.
"Don't be rude, Elsa."
Keep calm. Don't explode. "I'm not being rude. I'm stating a fact. I am not going to my room right now," Elsa repeated.
"You know we could just carry you down the hall instead."
"No, because you are not touching me," Elsa replied, surprising herself with her own quiet intensity. She sounded fierce but calm; she wasn't exploding; it was just a simple, unruffled refusal.
Anna glanced from her sister to her parents and back again. Something goofy is going on…
"Room, Elsa. I've had about enough of this." Agdar moved closer to pick Elsa up, and Elsa just stared unwaveringly at him.
"I mean it. Do not pick me up; do not touch me. I'm fine where I am," Elsa said firmly. Stay calm, Elsa. She genuinely did not want anyone touching her for safety purposes, but now she was just getting mad too.
"What are you going to do anyway?"
"Don't test me. I know I'm not cold and heartless, but I also know I'm not perfect and angelic, either." Elsa's voice had a slight sharpness to it now as she meaningfully tapped a finger on her other gloved hand. "I can be pushed over the edge."
"What edge, Elsa?" Anna asked innocently. She had absolutely no idea what Elsa was talking about.
"Anna, leave the room," Idun said.
Anna reluctantly left, but not without tossing a final, "I WANT TO KNOW WHY! And Elsa, I'm coming back," over her shoulder.
Elsa gave Anna a tiny smile before returning her focus on her parents. They had backed over to the door and shut it. Good. Maybe they'll leave me alone now.
"Elsa, you aren't really going to freeze anything, are you?"
"Do you want to push me and find out? Look, I'm so, so tired of keeping this secret. It's too much for me. What is so bad if Anna knows about my powers? Or just people in general, for that matter? I agree that I need to stay away from everyone because it's not safe, but I'm sick of the clandestine part of it. Why can't I go downstairs late at night after everyone has gone to bed, for example? No one would be around, so that would be safe," Elsa said.
Elsa's sudden attitude change scared her parents a little. If Elsa really did mean her threat to freeze things, she could become very dangerous. "Elsa…be reasonable. What would our citizens think of the crown princess having ice powers she can't control? You have to concede that's a bad idea. They would call you names or worse."
I guess that is true. "I am still not going back to my room right now," Elsa said, backing down a little but not completely.
"Very well, but you need to go back to your room the second you're able to make it on your own. Also, your hair goes up when you're better."
Dad gave in a little too quickly. They're scared of me, Elsa realized. She tried to convince herself she didn't care, but the realization hurt. I guess it's my own fault for making a not-so-subtle threat like that, even if I didn't really intend to follow through with it…I don't think I did, anyway. "I will; I promise. I don't promise about my hair, though." Although I think I have an idea for that that will please Mom and Dad and still remind me of Anna. I still like a single braid best, though.
"Do we have your word?"
"You have my word. I don't want to hurt Anna. By the way…I want Anna back in the interim." Elsa forced herself to remain composed and calm. I will go back to my luxury prison when I'm able, but it still isn't fair. I wish there were another solution to this…
After Elsa's parents left and Anna came back, Elsa finally allowed herself to drop the impassive expression. "Thank you for coming back, Anna. I appreciate it."
"No problem. But I'm still mad 'cause you guys won't tell me anything!"
Elsa sighed. "I can't tell you. Let's just change the subject, ok?" Come on, Anna; please…I feel a little more at ease now but I don't think it's safe for me to get emotional.
"All right," Anna said grudgingly. "Why don't we play chess some more?"
"Sounds good."
They played the rest of the day; sometimes having real matches; but mostly Elsa showed Anna some of the strategies she knew.
"You're going to be a chess expert next time you challenge someone!" Elsa quipped.
"Do I detect a slight note of pride there, sister dear?" Anna teased.
"Maybe a little!"
Late that night after Anna had fallen asleep next to her, Elsa dragged herself out of bed and down the hall to her room. I have to do this, Elsa reminded herself. She hadn't intended to go back to her room that night, but she could feel her powers coming back stronger now, and she just didn't trust herself around Anna any longer. I'll write Anna a note, she thought tiredly. Elsa barely had the strength to stand at all, having used up all of her energy getting herself to her room. She lit the kerosene lamp on her desk and collapsed into the chair. Ok, let's see…'Dear Anna, I'm sorry I left in the middle of the night, but I had to. Please forgive me. Love, Elsa.' It's too short, but I don't know what else to say…
Elsa dragged herself back over to the door, but it had automatically locked behind her when she'd shut it. They didn't waste any time changing those locks, she thought bitterly. Now she had no way to get the note to Anna. She could go through the secret passages, but that was too far for her to walk in her condition. She had barely trusted herself to make it down the hall and back.
A slightly devious plan popped into her head. I'll just freeze the stupid lock open. So there. Pleased with her idea, Elsa slipped the glove off her right hand and quickly froze and broke the lock. Elsa smirked to herself. So I can get out of here. She went down the hall as fast as her exhausted self would let her, left the note in Anna's hand, and returned to her room. After shutting the door behind her, Elsa collapsed into bed.
A/N: Ok, Elsa's 'safe time' with Anna is officially over. :/
Please let me know if everyone is still believably in character, especially Elsa. I mean, everyone knows she has FULL rights to be mad, but I don't want her going overboard the other way, either...so yeah...:P
I'll update as soon as I have the next chapter written. I'm now updating as I write, so I'm sorry if there's a longer time between chapters. I still have 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna' going too, but I have several more chapters prewritten for that, so I'm not quite as focused on finishing that at the moment. (although I do know how that will end too;))
Thanks for reading!:)