A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)

Sorry to burst your bubble-Yeah, Elsa's decision to go out on the window ledge wasn't exactly smart, I guess.:P (Although to be quite honest, I'm calling myself stupid then because I climb on the roof all the time and read books up there...;) Of course, MY roof isn't 30-some feet off the ground. More like 10 at most, I think) I've never heard the song before, but it sure sounds fitting! Uh, Elsa is NOT finding out about that. She doesn't need that knowledge on top of everything else.:/ (Her parents are doing it as a "precaution", not to carry out at the present.) :)

FanGirlJen-Thanks:)

bananas-rule-2015-Anna WILL find out about Elsa's powers eventually.:) (I think I just gave everyone a clue where the story's going to end by saying that, lol:)) I feel sorry for them too. Probably more sorry than I should considering that Elsa and Anna are movie characters.:/

Lindstrom-Lol, that's a great term-"inner Anna".:) Elsa's thoughts are alternately depressing, angry, funny, etc...I just realized exactly how conflicted she really is on the inside.:/ You're noticing more about "my" version of Elsa than I do myself.:P :)

JR-Elsa's parents ARE jerks in my opinion.:) 'Conceal don't feel' is horrible advice to give to an 8 year old. And keeping Elsa in her room was dumb too.:/ Ok, I shall quit expressing how much I dislike the parents now.;) (Don't worry; they aren't going to be around forever.)

On to the story!:) I think this chapter came out a little more...depressing than some of the others, so I'm just warning you.:P

A few minutes later, Anna came back to Elsa's door. She had heard Elsa's final words before Elsa had slammed the door shut, because she'd been, well, sneaking back down the hall to Elsa. Now Anna put her ear to the door, trying to hear what was going on inside Elsa's room. All Anna could hear were Elsa's muffled sobs. What's going on? Why did Elsa call herself an abnormal freak? And now she's crying… Anna knocked softly on the door using her signature rhythmic knock.

"Anna…please go away…not safe…" Elsa managed to say. Don't ask me 'why' questions again, please…

More than anything, Anna just wanted her questions answered and comfort Elsa somehow. But Elsa said for Anna to go away. Elsa needs a hug. When she had that icky dream the other night, she eventually calmed down when I did that. We didn't have to say a word to each other. Maybe she'll open the door for that. "Elsa…if you, um, open the door, I'll give you a hug. It made you happy the, uh, other time, remember? And I heard what you called yourself a few minutes ago. My sister is NOT an abnormal freak. Why did you call yourself that?"

Elsa made no verbal response. She cried harder. Anna's trying to help, but she's just making it worse. I can't open the door. I'm locked in. It's not safe. There's ice all over the place in here. I wish I hadn't let Anna hug me before. It's made this whole situation worse for both of us. She's confused about why it was ok then and not now. And it's made this whole situation ten times worse for me because getting a hug from Anna for the first time in eight years and then not being able to all over again is like…like really, really mean-spirited teasing.

"Elsa? Why is there an insanely cold draft coming from under your door?"

Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel… Elsa managed to force herself to stop crying; but she couldn't feel the cold, so she had no way of knowing what temperature it was in her room at all. Anna is getting way too close to figuring out about my…problem. She saw the shattered window; she saw that meltwater puddle on the floor; she heard all that ice crash down; she's wondered why my room is cold more than once…And I'm sure me being terrified of touching anyone and wearing gloves all the time in the summer is very suspicious…Anna needs to understand she has to stay away from me. Elsa made a difficult decision. She would have to completely ignore Anna again, no matter how much it hurt. Maybe then Anna would ignore her too, and their happy respite of safe time would be forgotten.

"Elsa? Will you please answer? Even us talking through the door is way better than no contact at all!"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut against the tears as she forced out one last reply. "I love you. Go away, Anna."

Anna frowned on the other side of the door. She says she loves me and then she says to go away…what's wrong? I'll leave Elsa alone and come back later. "Ok, bye…"

That evening, Elsa's door was still sealed shut with ice. "I froze the door shut," Elsa said when Gerda asked why the door wouldn't open.

"But princess, how are you going to get your dinner?"

"I guess I'll just be hungry until it melts," Elsa answered.

"You can't just not eat!"

Elsa sat in the window seat and gazed out the missing window. "I'm not hungry." I just want Anna back. I wish I could either control my powers or get rid of them; I don't care which. Actually I think I'd rather get rid of them. Mom and Dad didn't really approve of me even before I hurt Anna…

Later after everyone had gone to bed, Elsa used the secret passages to sneak into the kitchen. She took a stash of chocolate and some fresh fruit back to her room, along with some chicken. Chocolate and fruit won't go bad in my room. I'll eat the chicken tonight. After eating the chicken and an apple, Elsa went to bed. That door could just stay sealed shut for all she cared. If she was going to be locked in her room, she would make it so no one else could come in, either. Knowing that anyone who had the key could just barge in without her permission creeped her out and she didn't think it was safe. What if someone came in while she was losing control?

The next morning, Elsa braced herself for a scolding when her parents knocked on the door. "May we come in?"

"No," Elsa answered. The door was still sealed shut, so it definitely wasn't going anywhere. Elsa was suddenly very, very glad she had iced the door shut. Now she wouldn't be obliged to open that door. She couldn't open the door, and no one outside could either.

"Elsa…we do have a key. May we come in?"

"The door is sealed shut," Elsa replied. Now please leave me alone. You don't need to come in here. You're scared of me. You don't want to be around me anyway. She heard the sound of the key being twisted in the lock. See, I told you.

"Elsa, fix the door right now. You froze it shut."

"I don't know how." And even if I did, I wouldn't unfreeze it right now anyway, Elsa finished in her thoughts.

"Gerda said you didn't have any dinner last night. You can't just keep the door like this permanently."

"I got dinner myself. I went down to the kitchen late last night and took some food back in here," Elsa said. Why did I admit that?!

"How did you get to-oh, wait, you used the secret passages, didn't you?"

"Yes…" Elsa answered warily.

"All right, very well. If you wish to get meals that way, that's fine. But only go down there at night."

I'm not stupid. I wasn't going to go down there during the day anyway. "Ok," Elsa said.

An hour later, Elsa saw a folded piece of paper slide under her door, and heard what she was certain were Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. Elsa ran over to the door and unfolded the paper. "Dear Elsa, I'm so, so, so sorry I ratted on you the other day. You know I've seen you outside at the edge of the forest before, but I didn't say a word 'cause I could tell you actually looked happy. But I HAD to say something this time before you got hurt or something. I hope you're not mad at me. I know I got you in humongous trouble, but I was so worried something was gonna happen to you. I love you. Your very sorry sister, Anna. P.S. I don't know why you're scared and stuff, and I still want to know why, but I'll be out here for you whenever you're ready." Elsa carefully folded the letter back up and put it away in her desk with the rest of the things Anna had pushed under her door through the years. I'm not mad at you, Anna. I'm mad at myself. The crown princess of Arendelle is a failure. Anna, it's not your fault she can't spend time with her own sister. Against Elsa's better judgment, she decided she wanted to send a note back to Anna. She would either stick it under her sister's door late that night (those secret passages became more and more useful every day, Elsa thought), or slide it under her own door next time Anna knocked.

Elsa sat down at her desk, thinking it was a lucky thing she had sprained her left wrist and not the right one. She could actually sort of write with her left hand because she'd taught herself to print with it a few years ago out of boredom, but it was still tedious and slow. And it looks like a five- or six-year-old wrote it whenever I do that, she giggled to herself. Let's see…what do I reply to Anna? Wait, I can't write a reply back to her. I'll just be encouraging her to keep asking questions. It'd be better for her to just move on and forget about me. Elsa reluctantly forced herself not to write a letter to Anna. She walked over to the still-missing window and gazed outside instead.

There were no knocks from anyone on Elsa's door the rest of that day.

The next day, Anna came back and knocked on Elsa's door once again. "Hi, Elsa! Did…did you get my note?"

Yes, Elsa thought.

"I was thinking if you didn't wanna talk, we could send letters back and forth instead. Couldn't we do that? I, um…still want to know why, so maybe letters would be good?"

I can't. I better not. Sending Anna a reply is just going to increase her questions and curiosity. It's better if she decides to ignore me…right? Elsa said nothing.

"Elsa, puh-lease? I won't tell Mom and Dad you gave me anything. That way you won't get in trouble," Anna said.

Yes, I will. They'll find out somehow. And even if they didn't, it's safer for you to stay away from your dangerous sister. Elsa replied in her mind, but still said nothing aloud.

There was a long silence before Anna burst out, "Well, good grief, Elsa, I don't know what else to do! That time we spent together was an awful tease. Why'd we have to stop talking and stuff? Because I still don't believe you're dangerous. You just need to get convinced otherwise." Anna paused for a moment, then added, "Elsa, are you mad at me? If that's a 'no', please say so. If it's a 'yes', then say nothing." Surely Elsa will answer that…

Elsa bit her lip and forced herself not to answer. Anna, why did you have to ask me that question in that exact form?

Anna waited and waited, but Elsa didn't say anything. "E-Elsa?"

You can't reply, Elsa. Don't say anything. Elsa pressed her fingers against her sprained wrist, hoping the ache would take her mind off Anna's talking outside in the hall.

"I guess you're…mad at me then," Anna said sadly. "What did I do to make you mad? Can I fix it?"

Elsa's heart twisted at the sound of Anna's sad tone. You didn't do anything, Anna. It's me. I'm the problem, not you. Tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks, and she didn't bother to wipe them away. What was the use? She'd just end up having to do it again. Snowflakes began falling around her. Go away, stupid snow. YOU are the problem. If I were normal, I could spend time with Anna. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…

"I guess I'll go away like you asked me to the other day," Anna said.

Elsa heard Anna's trudging footsteps fade away down the hall. It's good that Anna thinks I'm mad at her…right? I'm trying to keep her safe. Better I be depressed than risk hurting Anna again.

The days and weeks crawled by. Elsa found herself retreating into the secret passages more and more, just to get away from miserable reality. The forced isolation of being in her room 24/7 was more distasteful for her than ever after spending those few afternoons outside. It's like letting a starving person sniff and see a feast, and then not letting him or her actually eat it, Elsa thought. It helped a tiny bit to go to the secret entrance/exit to the forest and just look outside; but sometimes doing that just made her feel worse instead. By the time Elsa's wrist was completely healed, she knew every inch of those passages as well as the back of her hand. Well, actually that expression is stupid for me since I hardly ever see the back of my bare hand, she thought. Maybe as well as my room? No, I know that too well. Eight years can do that to a person. That short time Elsa had spent with Anna haunted her too; the fact that she had had time with Anna only for it to be taken away again hurt her worse than if she hadn't spent time with Anna at all. I miss Anna…I wish we hadn't had that time together at all. It's my own fault; I'm the one that initiated the whole thing by making myself sick trying to get rid of my…problem.

Elsa continued to fetch her meals from the kitchen late at night after everyone had gone to bed, so she had zero conversations now with anyone or anything besides her own thoughts. This was one thing she genuinely did not mind much; no people contact meant she didn't have to worry about hurting anyone.

Sometimes Elsa felt as if she were going stir-crazy. When that happened, she headed through the secret passages to Anna's room and sat just inside the secret entrance to Anna's room. Anna never knew she was there, but Elsa could hear Anna in her room and it made Elsa happier and calmer to be near Anna even if her sister didn't know she was there. More often than not, though, Anna was not in her room. Elsa could quickly decipher whether Anna was in her room or not. (Anna was rather noisy.) If she wasn't, Elsa headed back to her own room and sang something quietly, so no one would hear her.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know, dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away…"

Elsa attempted to put all her emotions, positive or negative or neutral, on strict lockdown all the time, every second now, because it was just too much for her otherwise. She always ended up making it snow or icing her room over, and completely failing at 'conceal, don't feel'. It was easier if the emotions weren't there in the first place. So Elsa put everyone and everything out of her heart and locked it all out. Rather fitting, I guess. I'm locked in, and I lock everything else out, Elsa decided.

For Anna, life went on pretty much as it had before. She just knocked on her sister's door less and less often, hoping Elsa would eventually come to her on her own. Maybe bugging Elsa every day annoyed her since she wasn't ready to socialize with Anna. Anna couldn't completely ditch a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that Elsa's actions weren't entirely of her own choosing, though; whether she was genuinely mad at Anna or not. Something was still fishy and illogical with the whole thing. Whenever she asked her parents about it, she got ambiguous answers. "If Elsa is mad, just leave her alone." "Maybe she's busy." Yeah, right, like she didn't hear me knock when she's right on the other side of the door, Anna had thought (and said aloud) that time.

Elsa also found some small solace in gazing out the still-missing window. Since she'd sealed the door shut that one time, her parents hardly ever came to her room anymore. The ice had long since melted, but Elsa didn't tell them otherwise the few times they did come to her, so they never saw that the window was still missing. That window could stay missing forever for all she cared; it let the outside air in, which Elsa liked. She loved daydreaming about the North Mountain for some reason. The idea of being on the summit at the top of the world fascinated her to no end.

Elsa found out that concentrating hard on something pleasant before falling asleep usually fended off any of her usual nightmares of hurting Anna again that would normally end with her waking up shaking in terror in a snow-and-ice-filled room. Once Elsa dreamed she had frozen the entire planet and the only way to fix it was by her own death, preferably carried out by her own hand. Elsa hadn't slept at all the rest of that night. She took some warped comfort in realizing that if something like that really did happen, that 'solution' would not fix everything; it'd leave the planet in a permanent deep freeze with no way out instead. Granted, I don't know how to thaw anything I freeze, but no one else does either, so…yeah. Elsa began thinking hard about the North Mountain every night before she fell asleep. This would ensure her good dreams most of the time. Elsa's favorite recurring dream would go something like this.

Elsa stood on the summit by herself. For some reason, the thin air so far above sea level never bothered her. She was wearing a summery light blue dress, no gloves, and she went barefoot. After all, the cold didn't affect her, so why would she wear heavy winter clothes when she didn't have to? She was by herself, so there was no need for her to conceal her powers. Somehow Anna would be there too, but she had ice powers too for some reason, so Elsa couldn't hurt her.

"Elsa, tag me!" Anna shouted, sending a blast of snow at her sister.

"You're on!" Elsa happily replied, chasing her sister about, showering her with snow.

Once dream-Anna had hit dream-Elsa with an ice blast, but it only knocked her over. In the dream-land, it had sort of hurt, but no more than a regular slap would. So it didn't really matter. Elsa ran after Anna and showered her with snow. Another time they fell off a cliff into a crevasse, but they landed in a huge powdery mound of snow, so they were completely unhurt.

And Elsa's absolute favorite dream (that only happened once) was the time she and Anna had been up on the North Mountain and they had somehow built a fancy overly-detailed igloo per Anna's request. The structure had been huge and had slides and staircases and a chandelier and all sorts of other things. Then the two girls had a ball flying from one slide to the next, picking up speed and feeling like they were riding something that went a million miles an hour. When Elsa woke up from that exhilarating and happy dream, she immediately sat down at her desk and began drawing the icy igloo structure from her dream. Who cared if it was an impossibility, a figment of her imagination? Elsa loved that drawing so much when she was finished with it that she drew the outside of her dream building, the inside, and everything in between. She fastened all the drawings to her wall with ice by touching each corner of each sheet of paper to the wall with her bare finger. Mom and Dad would be furious if they knew I purposely put ice on the wall, but they hardly ever come to my room anymore, so I think it'll be fine. As weeks passed and the ice fasteners didn't even start to melt, Elsa grew curious. She finally came to the conclusion that the ice didn't melt because she really, honestly didn't want it to. (And Elsa's conclusion was absolutely right.) The ineradicable ice fasteners gave Elsa a small glimmer of hope that one day she'd be able to control her powers properly.

They were unchanging even when she lost control.

A/N: Sorry if this got way overboard angsty. I was trying to explain why Anna walks past Elsa's door without knocking in the movie when they're 15 and 18.:/

Elsa and I don't own the sunshine song!:P Just pretend she made it up, ok?:)

Virtual applause to anyone who catches the slight reference to the "A Sister More Like Me" book.;)

Next chapter coming soon!