Eyeliner-smudged eyes slowly drifted open, the small woman finally steadying her breath. Florence could hear the soft thump of Derek's heartbeat from her position on his chest, the rhythm keeping her at peace and harmony with him. She couldn't tell if the man beneath her lay awake or asleep. By his breathing… She assumed asleep. Realization that she never really could safely assume anything else about this man dawned on her, clouding her mind.

But why would he keep all of those things from me…? He said I'm his mate.. That means we share everything. So… Why did he hide?

"Derek…?"

"Hm?"

"Are you asleep?"

"No, Rabbit… I've been awake."

"Oh…" Florence was still. Whether she didn't want to move due to being too comfortable or not wanting to disturb the peace, she was still. "I want to talk to you about things…"

"Should I be worried?" he asked with a hint of amusement behind his tone.

"I- maybe… I don't know…"

A small silence followed, only accompanied by the soft exhales of the lovers' breaths.

"Why did you wait, Derek…?"

He tensed slightly. Yep. Definitely something he should be worrying about. "Wait for what, exactly?"

"For… All of this… For waiting till you had to tell me before you said anything…" Florence sat up, pulling the sheet behind her up and around her naked body.

He sighed softly, looking into those hazel eyes of hers. "You're too… Good for it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're too… You. You're too pure, too innocent-"

"I think I just proved I'm not that innocent," the brunnette mumbled, digging her fingers into the sheet with vexation.

"I meant morally. You couldn't even watch a horror movie for fuck's sake…"

"Because- because I don't like it-!"

"Exactly. You hate it."

Florence huffed, looking to the lamp on the bedside table. She was silent for what seemed like an eternity, she even slid off of him before she made any attempt to respond. Now sitting beside him, pulling the sheet up further to protect her modesty, her tone was small. "I'm going to get in the shower."

Derek nodded softly, sitting up. His strong, veiny hand wrapped around her wrist and he kissed her shoulder softly, the scruff on his upper lip scratching her skin. "Don't take too long…"

"I won't…" she began as she stood from the bed, bringing the sheet with her. Florence kept her gaze away from the naked man in the bed behind her. "There are still some things we need to talk about."

God, his nerves were on fire… He always hated it when someone told him they needed to talk. Who doesn't? "Alright, Rabbit."

The brunette made her way to the washroom, her small feet making small pats against the cold cement floor. Small pieces of dirt clung to the bottoms of her feet, the feeling of being dirty aggravating her. Would it kill him to sweep his floor?

Stepping off of the tile and back onto the cement was worse than the tile alone… How Derek managed to walk on such cold floors always baffled her. He didn't even have a single rug.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked as he walked to his mate, said woman clad in his gym shorts and his t-shirt.

Florence sighed softly, her gaze down. She knew talking was a bad idea… Just a way to start unnecessary drama. But… What if this was necessary?

"I need to know what you're really doing, Der… Why did you wait so long to tell me any of this? Why didn't you tell me a- a year ago." Florence cut him off when she saw his mouth opening to speak, "And don't tell me it's because I'm too morally good. It has to be more than that, I know it."

"Why? Florence, I've told you this countless times before, it should make sense to you by now…!"

"Why should it? You've been keeping almost everything about yourself a secret since I met you. I met you two years ago, Derek. Two years ago!"

"I know! But if you would just consider that maybe I did hide all of that because I knew it wouldn't be good for you!" Heat was quickly building up in his chest and his stomach was twisting with oncoming anxiety, as if their conversation leading to an argument would be equivalent of shooting himself.

Florence was practically paling, her expression nearly incredulous. "So what…?! I'm a grown woman, Derek! I do not need to be coddled!"

"By your reaction last night, I'm pretty fucking sure you do."

Vexation seethed through her eyes, her gaze piercing through his. "Why? Because I cried?! I'm sorry I care enough to hurt for you!"

Derek let out a low growl, turning his head to the large loft window. "Trust me, I'm sorry too."

"Honestly, Derek… I don't know if I can trust you anymore. I don't know if I even fell in love with the person I think I did."

A cold pain seeped through his chest as well as hers, his eyes drifting down to her while she looked at the floor. The silence after her statement was suffocating, he having to listen to the sound of her heartbeat, her heart aching with deception and pain.

He sighed softly, looking up at a support beam. "Whether you did or you didn't doesn't matter. All that does matter is I love you. I haven't hurt you. I'm not going to."

"This isn't about being hurt… This is about my knowing who you are!"

"You're seriously telling me this again…" he growled with vexation as he rubbed his face, slowly striding to the side.

"Yes! Because it is important, Derek! Why can't you see that?!"

Derek dropped his hands and looked back at her with anger pulsing through his eyes. "Why the fuck couldn't you have consensual sex for two years?!"

The small brunette's eyes widened slightly with horror and hurt. "You know why…!"

"Then try to fucking understand where I am coming from!" his voice had raised to a loud, angry yell, his words shattering through her. "I have spent the last two years constantly trying to figure out how to preserve that innocent life in you! I've been trying to get rid of my old self for your sake! To protect you!" Derek was stepping toward her, his broad frame towering over her. Her heart began to race and her eyes watered, almost flinching when he took his first step. "Why can't you see any of it?!"

"I- I do see it…! I see all of it-!"

"Then why aren't you letting it go?!" His hands wrapped around her shoulders, holding her tightly. "Why can't you let me let this go?!"

Florence shook with fear at the strong grasp of his hands, her eyes wide. Her voice had left her without communication and her words trapped in her mind.

"Why can't you just move on?!" His grasp on her tightened aggressively, hard enough for her to bruise. Florence let out a small pained squeak, her eyes filling with pain as her skin burned red. "Why won't you let me take care of it?!"

"D-Derek…" she cried, unable to pull her gaze from his, "you're hurting me…!"

Green eyes fell down to his hands, her shoulders, and he took in the full load of what he was doing. His gaze snapped up to meet hers despite his prior knowing of what he'd find: Rabbit's beautiful wide eyes with a stricken demeanor. He could hear her little heart pounding with raw trepidation, that fear made by him.

Derek clenched his jaw to stop himself from biting through his tongue.

Florence quickly stepped back when he let her go. Her skin heated from his grip and she knew she was going to bruise by the way simply moving her arms was painful. They stared at each other, he trying to figure out what to say to her while she wondered whether to speak at all.

He settled on the only thing that could even work its way into his head.

"Florence, I'm sorry… I-"

"This is why it's important." Florence's voice was quiet and small as she cried. She couldn't even look him in the eye for fear of breaking entirely. "This is why your past is important."

"That… Florence, this is not-"

"It is, and you know it. Stop trying to run, Derek," her voice wavered and shook while she tried to maintain some form of composure.

Her bones ached with grief.

"I'm not run-"

"You are… You have been for so long. I hate it. I've known it for the longest time… But I'm only just now accepting it." A small tear ran down her cheek and she shook her head, holding her hands out in bewilderment. "I don't know why it's taken me so long. I don't-," she took in a shaky breath, looking to the window, "I don't know why I'm only just now really trying to figure you out. I really.. Really just wish you'd let me in…"

"Well, shit, Florence, what more do you want?" Derek took on a defensive tone and his fingers curled slightly, but he stayed where he was. "I already told you so much…!"

"I need to know more than what happened.. I need to know you. All of you… Derek, you scare me." Her words were a heavy flow of despondency rushed against him. "You just hurt me because of your anger and.. Whatever else that was. I need to know what you're thinking of, what drives you-"

He scoffed, stepping back while he rolled his eyes. "So, what? You're a psych therapist now?"

"Derek…"

"Look, I don't need you to tell me what I may or may not need to hear. I don't need anyone to. So take a step back-"

"Derek!"

"And let me take care of this shit myself!"

Florence gaped at him, anger in her eyes. "Then why should you try so hard to protect me! This is so stupid! God, Derek, I'm so tired of trying to get through to you!"

"Then why are you still trying?"

Another heated glare from the woman.

"I don't know. Honestly, I really don't know. I don't know why you won't help yourself! I don't know why I am treating you like a baby that needs to be coddled. Maybe it's because you always do that to me!" Her statements became strong cries, her anger an unfamiliar and firm wind.

"Because you're not strong, Florence! I'm sorry, but you're not!"

"You don't know that! You don't know what I can handle!"

"No, I've only been with you for the past two years! Fuck, you cry over everything! How the hell are you strong?!"

"I don't lash out on people! I have the ability to actually control myself, unlike you! God, Derek, you raped me and I made more excuses for you!"

"For one, you came onto me, and-!"

"I was drunk!"

Derek stared into her eyes, trying to find his words. They were there, he could feel everything he wanted to tell her, to somehow get into her head. He remained silent.

"I was drunk.. And you took advantage of me!"

"Florence, it's not easy for us to resist our mates-"

"How could I possibly be your mate?! How could you go on about protecting me when all you're really doing is bringing me down?!" Tears streaked down her cheeks, her skin red with anger and sorrow. "How could a woman so weak be your mate?"

Derek sighed softly, looking down at the floor. "You're… You're you, Rabbit…" pain laced through his voice after taking in all that she told. God, he hated how words alone could take his stomach and twist it and leave frigid bullets throughout his chest.

"So what?! So I'm still as weak as you say I am!"

"That's- That's not what I meant-"

"What else could it mean?" she wept, her heart in pieces.

"You're sensitive… That love inside you, it makes you absorb other sorrows and amplify your own. I can't bring in my own troubles on you because I know that kills you…!"

She let out a shaky breath, wiping her eyes. Her eyeliner smeared across her eyes and her hair was getting a bit frizzy, but god she still looked so beautiful when she cried… "I can handle it. For now on, Derek, I need you to let me handle this. My mother shelters me. I can't help that. But this…" Florence shook her head and stared at his bed then the table, anything to fix her gaze on just so she won't have to meet his. "This I can't take anymore. I won't. So… You're either with me or… Or I'll stand by myself."

"Rabbit-"

"Don't." Her attention snapped back to him and their eyes met. "I'm finally standing for myself…" And her gaze shifted to the floor once again. "I'm going to help myself. No more of this… No more suppression." She swallowed and took in another shaky breath, crossing her arms to hide her trembling hands… If only her shoulders wouldn't ache when she did.

Derek nodded softly and mumbled, "Ok…" He cleared his throat and leaned against the table. "But I'm not going to let you get hurt. I won't quit protecting you."

"I don't expect you to, Derek," she sighed, shaking her head. "I just want you to treat me like an adult…"

"I will.. No more horror movies, though."

Florence smiled for the first time since they woke up.

"Okay, Derek…"

If only she could pass off the burning in her chest and abdomen as she could his last statement and that god-awful sense of dread in her heart.