A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
WarriorQueen 14-I'm glad you liked the chapter:) Cool, then it's not just me that likes their birthdays in reverse of when they're supposed to be. I think I will just continue with Elsa's summer birthday and Anna's winter birthday in my head anyway...;)
Lindstrom-Thanks for the review!:) I think Anna has more brains in her head than a lot of people give her credit for. She does stupid things sometimes (ie., riding off in the snow in a party dress, getting in engaged to Hans in one day), but I think mostly she's just impulsive.;) I like to think Anna actually takes a bit more consideration of how she treats Elsa, even if she still has no idea why Elsa shuts her out all the time.:)
On to the story! We left Elsa and Anna outside getting ready to figure out how to sneak Elsa back inside...:)
"Well…all right. It probably IS crazy late. Come on, I'll help you get back up to your room. I have an idea." Anna ran across the courtyard with Elsa trailing several feet behind her.
"Anna. What. Is. That. For?!" Elsa asked, pointing at the ladder Anna had just pulled out of the snow by the side of the castle. Don't tell me Anna thinks I'm climbing on the roof…
"We're gonna climb up on the castle wall and jump over onto the roof. I'm not a hundred percent sure which window ledge is yours, but I THINK it's that one," Anna said, pointing to the correct window. It was practically impossible to see the missing window in the dark, though.
"Wait…what?! Last time I climbed on the roof, I sprained my wrist. It seemed like forever before it was completely better. I do not want to get on the roof again. I'm too clumsy up there," Elsa replied, shaking her head.
Anna began giggling as she said, "You mean back in the summer when you hurt your wrist, it was from being on the roof?"
"Yes, it was," Elsa said in her best dignified voice. "I went out on the ledge outside my window, and when I tried to climb back inside, I…"
"Yeah…go on…" Anna prompted.
"I literally fell into my room and tumbled through the window. I guess I landed funny on my wrist. The end. Now are you quite finished being amused by your sister's mishap?" Elsa asked. The whole incident was rather embarrassing to Elsa now; she thought the crown princess probably should not have been climbing out there in the first place. Although the view from up there was amazing…
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry for laughing at you, Elsa. It's just funny 'cause you're always so elegant and stuff and you just told me you sprained your wrist by falling into your room from the ledge outside on/around the roof. But really, there's no need to be embarrassed. It's no big deal. Come on, Elsa, I'll hold the ladder steady for you. There is no other way for us to get you back up to your room without being seen," Anna said.
Elsa sighed. Anna's right. The only reason I was able to get out here was through the window, so it makes sense I need to get back in the same way. "All right," she conceded. "But you have to promise to hold the ladder!"
"I will," Anna promised.
Anna held the ladder still, and Elsa quickly climbed up on the castle wall. "Anna, I forgot my shoes!" Elsa said from her perch atop the wall.
"Right, I'll get 'em," Anna replied. She grabbed Elsa's shoes and clambered up the ladder herself.
Elsa walked cautiously along the wall, her arms held out for balance.
"Wait up, Elsa. I'm coming," Anna said, following Elsa's footprints in the snow on the wall.
"Ok. Please don't get too close to me…" Elsa replied. I should be more scared up here than I am. It's not safe to climb on the castle wall, especially when it's snowed and iced over. Wait…I don't slip on ice, but Anna can! I've gotta keep an eye on her!
They proceeded a short distance along the wall until Anna said, "We have to jump over to the roof now."
"We have to do what?! That's too far to jump!" Elsa exclaimed, eying the large gap between where they were and the actual roof.
"Elsa, shush up! Someone might hear you! And it'll be fine. Go on, Elsa. Even if we do fall, we'll land in snow. We won't get hurt. At least I don't think so," Anna tried to assure Elsa.
Anna, you're silly. I don't think that snow is soft enough to break a fall… Elsa bit her lip and looked back at the gap, trying to judge the exact distance. Ok, Elsa, you can do this. Come on. She leaped the gap and successfully landed on all fours on the icy roof, the only issue being a stubbed toe. I should have put my shoes on before trying this. But at least I made it anyways. And it's really icy up here… "Anna…it's very icy up here. It's probably slippery."
"Probably slippery? You're right on top of it; can't you tell if it's slippery or not?"
"Ok, it's slippery then," Elsa said, figuring that any sort of ice was probably slippery to anyone besides herself. "Anna…I'll go the rest of the way alone. You don't have to follow me."
"But I thought you didn't want to climb up there anyway," Anna protested. "At least I can help you by simply letting you know someone's got your back."
"Anna, I don't even want anyone near me or touching me. You can't help me even if I do slip. Just stay there and you can just go back along the wall and down the ladder without bothering with me any more," Elsa replied. "Do not follow me," she added, hoping a direct 'order' might make Anna listen. Elsa began moving along the roof very slowly toward her window's ledge.
Anna stood atop the wall, watching Elsa edge her way along the roof. I should follow Elsa anyway. If she slipped, I'm sure she'd rather someone catch her than let her fall even if she doesn't like people touching her. Without thinking it through further, Anna attempted the same catlike leap that had landed Elsa safely on the roof from the wall. But the roof was far more slippery than Anna had expected, especially considering the fact that Elsa had acted as if she weren't entirely sure whether it was slippery or not. Anna scrabbled to get a sure grip on the icy roof and let out a yelp.
Elsa, who was almost to her window by now, whipped around toward the sound and nearly lost her own balance. "Anna!" Anna's going to fall. I told her not to follow me! Anna's going to fall. I gotta help her. No wait, I can't touch her. I might hurt her. But…if I don't help her, she will definitely get hurt. "Might" is better than "definite". With this logic, Elsa began edging back towards Anna. "Hold on, Anna, I'm-"
Too late. Elsa could only watch in horror as her sister screamed and slipped off the slick, icy roof and tumbled to the snow-covered ground below. Please let Anna be ok. Please…she wouldn't have come up here at all if it wasn't for me. "ANNA! Anna, are you ok?!" No answer. Elsa quickly edged all the way to her window and dropped down into the soft, powdery snow mound she'd made to get down to the courtyard in the first place. Come on, Anna, I hope you're just playing a nasty prank on me. Or didn't hear me shout. She shook all the snow off and ran over to Anna, making sure to stay several feet away. Elsa noticed with growing unease that the snow in this area wasn't the soft, powdery stuff in her own snow mound. "Anna? Please answer me! Please…if this is a joke, it's not funny anymore…" Anna's unconscious. She must have hit her head when she fell. What am I supposed to do?! You have to go get your parents, Elsa. You know you do. You failed to protect her again, Elsa. Just like when you were eight. Not again! Please...no... "Except this time it wasn't my powers," Elsa whispered, her voice breaking. "It was because I waited too long to decide to help."
Elsa's mind flashbacked to the accident from when they were little. Wait! Slow down! …dead silence… You're ok, Anna, I got you. … This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done? What have you done? What have you done? Elsa clapped her hands over her ears. "Make it stop! I can't take it anymore!" Ok, Elsa, get back. To the present. Go get. Mom and Dad. To help Anna. Now. Elsa gave her sister one last concerned glance before running blindly to the main castle entrance. She faceplanted in the snow halfway there, but immediately jumped up and continued running. Elsa. You can. Do this. Stay in. The present. Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. Elsa ignored the fact that most of the hairpins holding her bun together had fallen out and her long hair was tumbling down her back now.
Elsa threw the castle doors open and brushed her hair out of her face. Ok, Elsa, go to your parents' room. They're probably sleeping by now. She ran to the main staircase and dashed up the stairs as fact as she could go. When she arrived in front of the door to her parents' room, she bit her lip before knocking loudly on the door.
"It's after midnight! We are not opening presents until morning, Anna," Agdar said from inside.
Elsa turned the knob and opened the door. "It's not Anna…it's me…"
Now Elsa had both her parents' complete attention. "Elsa, what in the world are you doing here? Did you break the lock again?" Agdar asked.
"Why are you all wet? And what happened to your shoes and gloves?" Idun asked.
Stop interrogating me! "I…that is…we…you have to help Anna. Anna…courtyard…unconscious…" Elsa couldn't form a completely coherent explanation, but it was enough.
"Anna is outside in the courtyard unconscious for some reason. Is that right?"
Elsa nodded vigorously. "Help her, please!" Please let Anna be ok…
Idun went to take care of Anna, and Agdar took Elsa back to her room.
"I froze the door shut," Elsa said when her father asked why her room's door wouldn't open.
"Elsa, what else have you done tonight that you weren't supposed to?"
What have you done? What have you done? The question ricocheted in Elsa's mind again. She was almost shaking now; hearing that again, for real this time, was just too much for her. Elsa, calm down. You're making a spectacle of yourself. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. "Is Anna…going to be…all right?"
"Elsa, what happened in the courtyard? How did you know what happened to Anna?"
"I…went outside by myself at first…" Elsa, just say exactly what happened. You're going to get in who knows how much trouble anyway, so just say everything. "Through the window. Then-"
"You aren't supposed to go outside, and that window is far too high to jump down from anyway, Elsa."
"I made a snow mound to land in," Elsa admitted.
"You did what?!"
There's a ton of snow out there anyway…it's impossible to tell I did that… "Please just let me finish explaining. Then you can ask me whatever you see fit. So, once I was in the courtyard, I was making a snow building. The normal way, not with my powers," Elsa quickly added when she noticed her father's expression. "Right after I finished it, I heard Anna come outside and I hid in my building. Anna found me. We talked for awhile. Anna was trying to help me climb back up on the roof to get back in my room…she slipped off because it was icy and I couldn't reach her in time. I got down myself and came inside to get help for Anna…" she trailed off. "So that's what happened." Now you can get horrendously mad at me if you want.
"Does Anna know about your powers?"
"No." I kinda wish she did, though, Elsa thought.
"Were you running around outside with no shoes or gloves the whole time?"
Elsa nodded. She watched as her father started taking her door off the hinges. "What are you doing with my door?"
"Taking it off so we can break down the ice behind it. How did you explain to Anna that you were running around in the snow barefoot?"
"I said I had natural immunity…that the cold doesn't really bother me," Elsa said. I could just get back into my room via the secret passages…
"Do you realize how close your sister came to finding out? Natural immunity…really, Elsa."
Elsa plopped down on the floor and leaned against the hallway wall. She was not going to talk any more about this whole thing. Dad can just stand there and beat up on my ice barrier all night; I don't care. I just want to know if Anna is all right.
"If you made a snow mound to get yourself down into the courtyard safely, why didn't you do the same for your sister?"
Elsa said nothing. Dad made a huge fuss about whether or not Anna knows about my powers. Now he wants to know why I didn't make a snow mound for her to land in. Ironic. No matter what I do, it's always the wrong thing. If I had done that, he would have been mad that I revealed my problem to Anna. Or I could have missed and hit Anna again. She shuddered at that thought.
"You are forbidden to have contact with Anna in any way. That includes letters and whatnot. I can't risk you telling her about your little ice problem or hurting her with it again."
What else is new? "So basically I will be locked in my room again like before and everything will be just peachy for everyone but me, as usual," Elsa said crossly. "Because I'm dangerous, and weird, and abnormal; and you don't want anyone to see me." Shut up, Elsa. Why did you say that? You'll just make things worse for yourself. You know you have to stay away from people. It isn't safe. Emotions on lockdown. Conceal, don't feel.
"Don't be rude, Elsa. Why don't you help take down this ice that shouldn't be here in the first place?" Agdar was getting frustrated with Elsa's ice barrier; it didn't seem to be budging as much as it should. It had cracked a little, but that was it.
Because I don't want to. And I can technically get into my room through the secret passages anyway. Despite her thoughts, Elsa got to her feet and looked the ice barrier she'd made up and down. Wouldn't it be funny if I could shatter it when Dad couldn't…it IS mine, after all. I made it. I should be able to break it if I want to. I can always put it up again. Elsa gave the ice her strongest punch. Immediately tiny cracks spread through the ice barrier, weakening it. Wait…the cracks made a snowflake pattern. She pounded the ice again in another spot. The cracks formed another snowflake identical to the first. Elsa smiled. I have a signature snowflake! It's mine. Snowflakes are never identical to one another. I'm trying to break down something I made, but it's actually making something pretty for once. Not ugly, creepy, threatening icicles. One more punch, and Elsa's smile grew bigger. The same pretty snowflake pattern! It's mine, mine, mine! My powers can actually make something pretty!
"What are you smiling at, Elsa?"
"I have a signature snowflake!" Elsa blurted. "Look!" She pointed to the ice barrier, which was now covered with three large, clearly defined identical snowflake patterns in the cracks.
"You're supposed to be taking the barrier down, not reinforcing it with your ice snowflake patterns."
Elsa's face fell. Of course Dad doesn't care. Probably doesn't even want to know. "I am trying to take it down. The snowflake patterns are cracks, not more ice." A minute later, Elsa managed to get the barrier weak enough that it crashed to the floor into hundreds of pieces.
"That window needs to be replaced," Agdar said. "Don't go outside again. And don't-Elsa, what are you doing?"
Elsa darted into her room, ignoring the fact that she'd stepped on one of the sharp ice shards in the doorway with her bare feet. You are not replacing that window, Dad. I won't go outside though. She lifted her hands, ready to put that ice barrier back up now that she was on the side she wanted to be on.
"Elsa, what are you doing?!"
Elsa glanced at her father and immediately wished she hadn't. Dad thinks I'm going to freeze him or something. He looks…scared… She dropped her hands and walked back towards the doorway, slightly favoring the foot she'd stepped on an ice shard with. "I'm putting my barrier back up. Not freezing you. No matter what you think of me, I would never do that," Elsa said sincerely. "At least not on purpose," she amended, remembering that she had hit Anna once, and she certainly hadn't meant to do that to her little sister. Elsa couldn't stand the mixed look on her father's face any longer. Up went her ice barrier, and Elsa turned from the doorway. "Just please let me know how Anna is doing. That's all I want." She plopped on her bed, looked at her foot, and pulled out a tiny splinter of ice. Stupid ice shard-or should I say splinter. I hurt myself with my own ice…ironic. Elsa tossed the ice splinter out the window before putting on some shoes and slipping her gloves back on. My room is a hazard to everyone, including me. She picked all the ice shards up and threw them out the window.
A few minutes later, Elsa felt rather than actually saw the fact that her door was reinstalled. Elsa put on her nightgown before sitting curled in a ball on the window seat, gazing into the darkness outside. I'm not going to bed till someone tells me how Anna is. I hope she's ok. Why couldn't I have been the one to fall instead of her? Anna didn't deserve that. She's not the one who was outside when she wasn't supposed to be. Although I do kinda doubt she had express permission to go outside late at night, either. Elsa absentmindedly braided her hair into a single braid and pulled it over her shoulder. I'm just going to go to sleep soon; I'll put it up like I'm supposed to tomorrow. Elsa's mind flitted to her signature snowflake pattern she'd discovered earlier. I want to see my snowflake pattern again. That was actually pretty. Without considering it further, Elsa slipped her gloves off and tried to think how to make an actual ice snowflake like those cracks had formed. I shouldn't be doing this. Mom and Dad would kill me if they found out I was using my powers on purpose, especially for something frivolous. Elsa's face grew determined a second later. If she was going to be stuck with her powers for forever, then she wanted to see the one pretty thing she knew they could make. She had no idea how to purposely make anything with her powers (besides ice barriers) after not using them for eight years. Elsa decided maybe her thoughts controlled what she was making, so she closed her eyes and thought about an oversized ice snowflake. Elsa felt a tingling sensation in her fingertips as the ice snowflake from her thoughts formed between her palms. She opened her eyes and stared at it. I made that! I MADE THAT!
The ice snowflake had the exact same pattern as the cracks Elsa had seen in the ice barrier earlier. A shimmering blue glow surrounded the snowflake as it floated in Elsa's hands. Tears of happiness slid down Elsa's face as she looked at the delicate, pretty, little object in her hands. It's mine. I actually made that. That isn't ugly or threatening. It's almost…beautiful. No, it is beautiful. I'm…the Snow Princess. That's what I am. Just for tonight. Elsa hesitantly took one hand off the snowflake and held it in her other hand. Her free hand made an identical snowflake, only tinier. She stuck it on the end of her braid and continued watching her original oversized ice snowflake, mesmerized. I wish I could show Anna. Anna would love to see this.
That abruptly tore Elsa's happy thoughts away from her. How can you think things like this, Elsa? Anna doesn't want to see that. You're dangerous. You're an abnormal freak. You almost killed your sister when you were little. And now you're calling yourself the Snow Princess? "I'm a…a creep for thinking things like that. A monster," she mumbled aloud. Elsa's ice snowflake fell to the floor and shattered. Elsa glanced down at the shattered snowflake and burst into tears. I feel about as broken on the inside as that looks on the outside. The whole thing just felt too symbolic to Elsa's battered mind and heart. One second she was happy and the next everything was ruined and impossible to fix. Elsa grabbed her gloves before she could freeze something or make another mess. Elsa, you need to dump all your emotions. Remember the emotions lockdown? It's the best thing to do. You need to stay sane. Sixteen-year-old girls should not be having terrifying flashbacks of hurting their sisters like you do sometimes. Shut it out. Shut everything out. "I'll certainly not let myself lose my head and think my powers can be something pretty again," Elsa said. She would never purposely use her powers again aside from her ice barriers against her door. I don't deserve to think they can be something pretty, Elsa thought. I was stupid for even thinking that temporarily.
Elsa's inner monologue was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Who is it?"
"It's Gerda, Princess Elsa. Your sister has a slight concussion and a headache, but she's going to be just fine."
Elsa sighed in relief. "Are you sure Anna is going to be fine?"
"Yes, she's already awake and talking clearly. You did the right thing by coming to get someone right away, princess, even though you knew doing so would get yourself in trouble."
Anna's going to be fine! She's going to be ok! I actually did something right for once. Elsa gave a dry laugh. "I'm in the same amount of trouble I always am. No more, no less." Elsa's tone changed to grateful as she added, "Thank you for telling me how Anna is doing."
"You are quite welcome, Princess Elsa."
Elsa listened to Gerda's footsteps fade away. Then she climbed into bed. I'm going to go down to the castle library tomorrow. I want to sing and play Christmas carols on the piano, if I'm still able to do that. You can celebrate Christmas by yourself, Elsa. She'd just lock the door to the library and everything would be just fine. Maybe Anna would hear Elsa playing and singing. Elsa certainly hoped so.
A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)