A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, I like Elsa's Christmas dress too.;)
Lindstrom-This time I did knowingly put some of the movie dialogue. It was a conscious decision this time.:P I'm glad it didn't come off as too 'forced'. It just seemed like a believable reason to me...I thought Elsa might be afraid Anna wouldn't like her anymore if she told Anna what happened and/or her secret. Glad that seemed believable too...:) What Anna says is in this chapter.;)
On to the story! Sorry for the shortness of this chapter; it just seemed sensible to do a chapter break.:P
Back in Anna's room, Anna convinced her mother to get her father as well. "You guys both have to hear this."
When both her parents were in her room finally, Anna began pacing back and forth. I gotta be logical and not explode or talk without thinking. Mom and Dad know I was outside with Elsa, so I shouldn't get Elsa into any more trouble than she is right now. So, yeah… "Mom, Dad…you know what Elsa told me when we were outside?"
"What did she tell you when you two were outside?" Agdar asked suspiciously.
"Good grief, Dad, you don't gotta act all suspicious!" Anna burst out. "What do you think Elsa told me, that she's a…a…" Anna tried to think of something insanely crazy. "Oh, I don't know, that she's a secret telekinetic or something? Or that she can turn herself into literal ice?" Little did Anna know she was dancing dangerously close to the truth with her second proposition. "The only 'different' thing about her is that she has natural immunity to cold. Which is not dangerous; it's just really, really cool. How come I'm not immune to cold too? Elsa's my sister, after all…Anyway, never mind. That's not the thing I wanted to say. Do you want to know what Elsa told me?"
"Do get to the point, Anna."
"Well, me and Elsa-I mean Elsa and I-were talking, and I asked her if I could help her fix whatever the problem is so she'd be happy again. I don't care what you guys or her say; she is not ok. She's scared of people getting anywhere near her for goodness sakes! It's ridiculous. So Elsa says something that she has to deal with the problem on her own and that there's something wrong with her that can't be cured. She called herself defective! ELSA SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CALLING HERSELF THAT!" Anna began speaking louder and faster as she went on.
"Quit shouting, Anna."
Anna bit her lip. Oops. Shouting's not gonna help my case for Elsa. "Sorry. Ok, so then of course I was like 'Elsa you are not defective and even if you were I wouldn't care' and then she said 'thanks for trying to make me feel better'." Anna made sure to leave out the part about reading Elsa's feelings, since she was pretty sure Elsa didn't want anyone to know that. "And then I said 'Trying to? I failed then, didn't I' and then do you know what Elsa said? Do you know what she said?"
"Spit it out, Anna…what did Elsa say?"
Anna drew herself up to her full height and began speaking in her best rendition of Elsa's regal and assertive tone. "She said, 'You will NOT say you failed at anything, Princess Anna of Arendelle! This is my problem, not yours. It is not your fault. You will not blame yourself for the way I behave…" Anna paused, trying to remember Elsa's exact words. "Oh yeah, 'You will not regret your actions regarding things beyond your control, EVER. You will not insult yourself for anything.' And then, do you know what she ended with? She said, 'You will not change your identity to match people's expectations.' Changing identity to match people's expectations! I did not say ANYTHING that had anything remotely to do with that rotten concept, and I know she didn't get that idiotic idea from nowhere! So where do you suppose she got it, hmm?" Anna resisted the urge to start shouting since she knew that would definitely not help.
"Are you implying we put the idea to do that in Elsa's head?"
"Spot on! She has no contact with anyone else, Dad! I know Gerda sure didn't tell her anything like that. So YOU gave her that idea! WHY?! Why would you want Elsa to be anything except just plain herself?" Anna asked. "In fact, I think she isolates herself in her room because you make her do it! Elsa was still kinda nervous and scared and stuff outside, but I know she was happy to see me. She wasn't all like 'Get lost Anna 'cause you're a pain in the butt' or anything. It's horrid what you guys are doing to her!" Anna was still hurt that Elsa had literally slammed the door in her face voluntarily on Christmas Day, but Anna decided right now, she was just going to focus on the part Elsa was not doing of her own accord.
"Anna, that's enough. We are not doing anything to Elsa."
Anna crossed her arms. Not doing anything to Elsa?! Are you kidding me? "What do you call Elsa staying in that room all the time for the last eight years? That. Is. Horrid."
"It's for her own good and yours."
"I don't believe you! There is NO reason why Elsa should stay locked in that room 24/7. It's stupid, stupid, stupid! And forget the whole door thing and the fact I can't even talk to Elsa anymore…how about why is she so scared and upset all the time? Tell me that!" Anna was getting mad. Actually, scratch that, she was already mad. Very mad. "What did you guys do to the happy, carefree, fun-loving girl that used to play with me when we were little?"
"Elsa is growing up and knows her future responsibilities."
That's fudging if I've ever heard it, Anna thought. "Doesn't matter; I don't care! Elsa should NOT be terrified like that all the time. I'll bet after she came running in here to get help after I fell, she was shaking and having some sort of memory flashback thing, wasn't she?" Of course Anna had not actually seen Elsa go inside for help, but she was somehow absolutely positive that was what happened afterwards.
Agdar and Idun exchanged a glance. They honestly weren't sure. Elsa was an expert on concealing her emotions, and it was nearly impossible to read her most of the time. Still…Anna had to have gotten that idea from somewhere. "Did Elsa do that while you two were outside talking?" Idun asked.
(The only reason Anna was able to read Elsa was mostly because Elsa did not mind letting Anna know her true feelings. Elsa only tried to conceal her emotions around Anna because she was trying to control her powers. Otherwise, Elsa didn't care one bit if Anna knew how she felt.)
"She like zoned out and was completely thinking about something going on in her head, yeah," Anna said. Um, I wonder if Elsa wants anyone to know that. She probably doesn't. I'm gonna change the topic, I think. "So, anyway, what's with this 'change your identity to match people's expectations' thing?"
"Sometimes you need to do that, at least partly, to get things done."
"And when people's expectations are wrong or bad?" Anna asked in an irritated tone. "Wait, what? It doesn't matter what people's expectations are anyway. It's stupid to change your identity to please others!"
"I assume you are insinuating that our expectations for Elsa are wrong or bad?"
"If those expectations include Elsa staying in her room 24/7 and being scared and upset all the time, then duh yes!"
"Anna…this discussion is over. Don't bring it up again."
"Bring what up again?" Anna asked far too innocently, knowing that was a rather smart-alecky reply but not particularly caring.
"All right, now you're just being smart. Don't bring up the identity thing or anything regarding Elsa again."
"SHE'S MY SISTER! Elsa's…hurting for some reason, and I still want to know why!" Anna replied, feeling exasperated. "Did you ever think that maybe I could help her? I remember back in the summer when Elsa got sick she had some icky dream and she was crying. Well, she let me hold her and give her a hug then, and she calmed down and fell back asleep. So maybe, just mayyybe, I could like, you know, hang around Elsa more?" Anna finished. "Oh yeah, I still want to know why Elsa let me hug her when she was sick and not now. That doesn't make any sense, either. You made her think she's dangerous, and whatever it is doesn't apply to when she's sick! But I KNOW she's not! I just know it!"
"Anna, this topic is over. Do your lessons and don't concern yourself with it anymore. And don't knock on your sister's door anymore, either." Anna's parents left her room.
"ELSA ISN'T AN 'IT'!" Anna yelled after them. Ok, I don't think I helped anything at all. I didn't get any of my questions answered either. Mom and Dad are being so unfair! And if I think they're being unfair to me, how must Elsa feel stuck in that room all the time with nothing but her thoughts for company? Poor Elsa…if Mom and Dad are really treating her like she's dangerous and wanting her to change her identity somehow, no wonder she acts all scared and upset all the time. She's been brainwashed. I gotta be there for her even if no one else will. Ok, so I'm not supposed to knock on her door…phooey to that. I'll knock when no one's around and I'll leave notes under her door. Elsa needs a friend…even if she thinks she's better off alone.
Elsa, who was still disturbed by that creepy dream the night before, was very happy when Anna pushed a note under her door later that day. "Dear Elsa, I told Mom and Dad what you told me. You know, the changing your identity to match people's expectations thing? Elsa, don't do that to yourself, no matter what our parents think. It's wrong. Anyway, I KNOW I didn't help fix things for the two of us. Or get my questions answered. But I want you to know that I'll always be out here for you. I won't knock every day (I got forbidden to do so), but I'm here for you anyway. You need a friend, even if you think you're better off alone. I love you, Elsa. Your sister, Anna." Elsa's tears dripped onto the paper, slightly smearing Anna's scrawly handwriting. Elsa immediately brushed the tears off her face. I might need a friend, but I don't deserve one. Especially one as good as Anna. Anna, you're half-right. It IS wrong to change your identity to match others' expectations, but it's not wrong for me. I have to. My identity is that of an abnormal freak. A dangerous abnormal freak at that. That identity needs to go into oblivion. Why would I want to keep that?
Elsa, you weren't always an abnormal freak. At one time, you were just a little girl playing with her powers in the ballroom with her sister. That whole freak business started after you hurt your sister. Maybe you can fix it. You weren't once, so maybe you can be just Elsa again instead of the girl with the uncontrollable ice powers. "No. I can't. I'm stupid for even thinking that could happen for a second. I'm sixteen now, not eight. I wish I was still naïve enough to be that way, but I'm not, and I can't change that," Elsa said aloud. I have to be perfect; good like I'm supposed to be, powers or no powers. At least Anna knows she should be herself. My self is rotten, and I wish I could just be me, powers and all; but I can't. I'm dangerous. My true self doesn't fit anywhere…certainly not as the future queen of Arendelle. I just have to deal with the fact. She quickly put Anna's letter in a desk drawer out of sight. Elsa could almost hear her dream-self shouting those horrible names at dream-Anna when she hadn't been able to thaw the mess dream-Elsa herself had made originally. Then, to make it worse, she recalled Anna's voice calling Elsa those names. Then, her own self saying, You want a monster? I'll give you a monster! "Stop it, Elsa! Reality check!" Elsa's own voice sounded far away and almost detached to her. She took several slow, deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Ok, Elsa. Calm down. Those things. DID NOT. Happen. It. Was. A. Dream. Elsa realized she was standing in the middle of a circle of icicles jutting out of the snowy floor. Great, I was just reenacting on a much smaller scale what I did in that dream. Elsa gave the icicles a vicious kick and determined she would never be that girl from her dream. "That's not me. I won't let it be." I will not turn Anna to solid ice. I will not freeze Arendelle. Never.
Elsa closed her eyes and willed herself to just be cold. Emotionally as cold as the powers over ice and snow she was born with. Forget emotions on lockdown. I will not let myself have any emotions to lock down in the first place. So there. That should fix my control issues about my powers. Conceal. Don't feel.
She did have one consolation. At least Anna can be herself. And she knows she should.
A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:) (The next one WILL be longer.)