Can a three year old near human out-talk the Doctor? Sure can. How? Simple.
The list of 'Why' is almost endless. The list of Doctor generated answers is endless.
The list of Doctor generated answers a three year old, human or near to, can actually understand, however, is quite short. The Doctor finds himself in the very odd position that many parents are familiar with: How to explain and be understood?
His verbalizing stuttered to a halt while he tries to figure out a way around all that...The Doctor discovers himself to be on a learning curve with lesson titles which include such things as: 'The Do NOT Feed These Items To a Human Baby List', 'The Late Life Learning to Shop in Infant and Toddler Departments for Dummies: The List of DO NOTs' and the general rules, led by the 'Big, Blue, Pleading, Tear-filled Eyes and Trembling Lip-pouts Are Dangerous' one...which was directly responsible for the nursing collie and her puppies in the Garden area nearest Sabrina's Nursery and the nearly fifty kittens running all over the TARDIS...and let's not forget the birds...and the fish...and the pony...and the...well, he'd rather not think about that critter.
He'd never had much resistance to a crying female anyway...
02
Hadn't Expected That
Learning Curve
He could have...should have predicted that it would come at a time when he was extremely busy with Sabrina. He'd thought he'd already gotten through most of the Do NOT Feed list, but apparently he needed to add guar berries to it, which were fine for older humans, but they had loosened her stools to 'impossible to contain' while adding a full rainbow of possible colors to her training pants...and the questions that arose to the tune of 'Daddy, why is that part green and that part pink and that part blue like our house and...' from the interesting hues were just a little hard to find a way to not answer. Because he really didn't want to explain it, plus she'd never get it. Not yet, she was still too young.
He explained rapidly about Sabrina's presence on the TARDIS to Rose, aware of the bemused smile on his younger self's face when he then grasped his pink and yellow human's face in both hands, kissed her like mad and said, "I love you, we will have time later but right now me and I need to resolve this situation and I just found out the hard way not to feed guar berry salad to a human three year old. She needs changing...frequently. I've been doing that but she needs it now and I can't. Can't leave her with full training pants, though, either...I promise, when we're properly separated, Fifth will land in my library and we'll have a good visit with the past...all the rules change when I'm married, see? All of me can be here, without any paradoxes...and I can't think of anywhere other than with you that any me would rather be." He locked eyes with himself over her head and got a sharp nod of agreement to that statement. I get along with myself much better than I used to, okay? Well, this me does. Can't say about next me and I have some doubts on last me...but you can manage last me with just one disappointed expression, so..."
Rose laughed, scooped up the child and took her to the changing table on the left side of the console room while the Doctor...both of him...dealt with the other problem. She felt the lurch when the ships separated, but she was still with the elder of the two when the blonde one went back to his own time and tenure for a moment, recalibrated and then rematerialized properly in the library. She had changed Sabrina quickly and with an expert's hand...and it wasn't until after Fifth departed that this Doctor noted that one of the items she'd brought with her included a baby-seat...with a little boy in it...one that looked a whole lot like Big Ears in his build and apparent personality, except with Eight's hair and eye color and Rose's face and smile...he was enchanted immediately by a child he was sure was his son.
"You, um, that you, young you, materialized the TARDIS around me as this you faded away, at the beach." She told him. "This is Jason Chase. The other you want to go the other way but I thought it sounded way too Jackish. You, baby you, delivered him...and later gave him what that you called a loomish sort of name...said he tucked it away and the TARDIS knows where."
He laughed softly, picking the boy up. "Chase Jason? It would, yeah. Once all of me are here, we'll introduce the ones that Jack doesn't know to him...Fifth will get it at that point." He shifted the boy to his shoulder and cocked his head a bit. "I'm back. the TARDIS is going to merge with herself properly, become a single ship. And with the fact you're my wife, she can do that but she's has got to do it right. The crash wasn't the right way." He told her as Rose put Sabrina on her hip and he wrapped his free arm around her waist. "Mine, right, you I mean. Mine?"
"Yeah. Always. From Run. You ruined me for anyone that isn't you."
A tear ran down his face as he leaned over to kiss her again. "Your's." He told her softly. "Your Doctor. Your's." He felt the TARDIS pry the memory of his son's Name from it's hiding place and grinned like mad...that memory also had the results from the normal, run of the mill DNA test run on any child, any species, at birth in most of the universe. As well as Five's utter shock and joy when he realized he'd just delivered his own son.
"Yeah...mine. Every last bit and body. Told Five that, too." She smiled at his Fifth form, who was grinning like a lunatic at him from the corridor doorway.
"She made me swear that it's all for one and she can have all of me. So, I had to explain about the retirement verses, and then I had to get my TARDIS to call all of me out of retirement for a merge, then from me on, all the way to you, each ship has merged with all the others. She's just one ship now, but all of me through the one before the one you are now here and in her...that's why I...all of me...were kicked out of my much younger ships." He told the cuckoo looking later form. True, Rose had said he was more emu-ish with a dash of startled, half-grown, moulting chicken, and after the elder one had run his fingers through his hair a few times, Five understood that completely.
He shook his head at himself ruefully.
"What?"
"Got a mirror handy?"
"Um, yeah, I think so." He rummaged through a bin and found one. "yeah, thought so. Now what?"
"Have a look at yourself. The thought here is 'Startled, half-grown, moulting chicken...and a hen at that, along with a good dash of Emu."
"Oi!" He looked at his reflection in disgust and dug in his pockets for a comb. Rose handed him something she'd gotten from Sixth who used it as hairspray. It wasn't, but it worked like it. He frowned at her.
"What? Stopped in for a chat and I asked you what that you was using. Told you why and then showed you this..." He was shown a picture on her phone that was worse than the one he'd just fixed.
"Oi. And I donated this"
"Yeah...after that you stopped laughing."
"Yes, well, all right. Later though."
"Not in your pocket, you daft thing...what if the lid comes off in there?"
"Good point." He put it on the console instead and it promptly disappeared, relocated to his en-suite. "Last us didn't need it," He told Five, "But we got lucky with the hair type this body and I would like it to stay where it's put...as it is, it wanders off...like some other people I could name. The list is very long by time you're this me...they never stay where we put them, so don't bother trying...just try to keep up with them is all we can really do."
"Oi! Ain't that the truth!" Another version which had turned, greatly surprised as Eleventh's version took her other selves and landed in Twelve's TARDIS as soon as her merge was complete. "All your varied selves will merge too, but not me...I'll warn you now, it's going to feel quite strange."
"Did you know we got reset at the end of your watch? I've met our Fourteenth Form, Thirteenth Regeneration." Eleven told him. "Your version has to make the final hop."
"On the upside, what idiot is going to start something with fourteen versions of you...and all of the skill-sets that come with the many forms of my husband?" Rose pointed out with a grin. "Plus who or whatever you had riding with you at any given point."
"So true...you're a bit wobbly there, the TARDIS must be merging you with your younger self." That was her first Doctor, his hands steady on her shoulders as she swayed with the odd sensation. "Added a whole new definition to 'The Best' when I found you. Anyway, the entire first life-cycle set is present, cuz we're completed. The second set will be TARDIS stored and she'll keep each of her selves until that cycle completes...and then you get a another set of twelve mes...twenty-four in all, at that point. All your's. Never thought I've be part of a one man harem, but..."
She surprised him...all of him...and for once Eleven understood when Rose froze, turned in Ten's arms, wrapped both arms around his waist and promptly burst into tears...and not the happy kind, either. Martha had explained 'first love' to him once, when he'd told her that Rose had taken his other form's loss hard and had gotten snippy about still being here, after all. After that explanation, he'd felt ashamed. Still did, so he explained it, silently, mind to mind, to the rest of himself. Ten's face turned pale, then seriously concerned as he gathered Rose to himself. Several other forms gathered round, the shaggy looking Eight being closest, exerting his skills to support and try to calm his wife. He was surprised to be pushed aside and saw her just cry harder.
"Let her get it out of her system." Twelve told him from the corridor opening. "She knows she needs to get it out, she'll deal with it better that way. She's alright, she's just got a huge backlog of tears to get rid of, just now. Most of them began when this us turned into Pinstripes over there without much warning. She thought she'd gotten to me in time, see...and didn't understand."
Eight had got the rest of the complicated chain of events...which he could keep, actually...retired, him...and sighed. Strong as a Dalek shell alloy, yet as fragile as an actual rose petal deposited in liquid helium...when it came to himself. Any self...but especially that self...to whom she had handed over spirit as well as body, heart and mind...and whom she'd lost not three minutes after doing so...silently he asked for the details of what came after and found her mind to be an open door, nothing blocked away from his Seeing, for her trust of him was strong. And he dragged Eleven in to see his frantic flight back to the Estates, the jars and falls she had taken, the concussions she had received and how still...still, she'd attended to his needs first, frantic with worry as London was attacked and not knowing what to do to help.
She didn't give up on me, Eleven grieved at the truth he and his fragile ego had misunderstood she stepped up to fill our shoes when she had to. She thought of what I might do and tried to apply what I'd taught her...she was playing for something she didn't know how to make more of or that she could ask the TARDIS for...Time for me to get back on my feet and so...
So your me accused her of giving up on me. After what she'd just gone through to get me back, and you tell her something like that? Ten's mental voice was upset, though he didn't give any surface sign except to hold her little bit closer. He felt her move her face to look up at him, looked down and found himself in an immediate liplock. He froze, changed the angle and returned it, his tongue sweeping into her mouth as the open end of the part of the bond made for him sought him out, connected, was deliberately drawn in closer and firmly attached to himself. On purpose.
The reaction up and down his time line as immediate, Eleven, Twelve and the newly arrived Thirteen arched into it, their portion shifting and dancing brilliantly like fairy lights in the dawn...the past versions felt themselves reeled in, wrapped in her love, care and acceptance of all they were, all they had been and all that they could be...that portion of her that had found a better answer for Nine than using the Moment the way it was designed to be used...the War Doctor saw her as he joined the gathering of selves and he smiled at the way she seemed to be devouring his next mouth. Of course, she had also climbed up the lean, rangy form and had wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles and had that form in a near headlock to keep his mouth where she thought it belonged.
On her's.
He also noted that, if the grip on her bottom was any indication, that self agreed with her. The slight humping he was doing was also a clue. The console room desktop was changing around them now, turning into what looked like a boudoir...or a pleasure house and he snapped at the TARDIS to at least use better taste. Clara, having arrived with Thirteen and not being present currently with Twelve, gave his last form a sad little smile and gathered up both children. She couldn't ride with any of him now, she knew. She had no place here...and truthfully she didn't really want to. Not with next him, her time with last him was over and she knew it was time to move on.
A moment later Eight specified something and it wavered at high end brothel before shifting to something that clearly stated what it could be used for, but was also suitable for non-residents. Thirteen grinned a bit and she added a futon style sectional couch...with a very wide seat and a backrest that could lie flat. The next moment, Eight's head shot around and he locked eyes with Clara. She smiled again, shook her head and disappeared down the hallway.
While Ten and Rose were busy, the rest of him put in requests until the console room was rather large...two large areas, one for Ten and one for Rose, left blank and ready to be filled. The console itself was changed to a series of stations along the wall and the center of the room was left clear of obstructions.
By the time he raised his head, and she looked down at him...and he realized just exactly what her position was and how he was gripping her bum...he no longer really minded.
"Oi, you sure she hasn't developed a bypass?" Three wanted to know, trying to adjust himself.
"Thirteen, did you make a promise of any kind to the human with you?" Eighth wanted to know.
"Ah...um...possibly. I didn't know Rose would ever come back...and I thought I had a second chance..."
"Thought so. She understands, but she wants to move on, now. She's got the kids in hand and is asking the ship to take her...no...find her a home. A real home...with people she can love and who love her...and...are not any of me. She wants me...yes...me, this me...to take her memories of me away, to erase them so she can stop hurting."
Twelve shuddered, remembering Clara's Walk, explaining to the rest and to Rose what Clara had done, how many deaths she had suffered to see it through...and how badly she must be hurting just now. Eight nodded. "I have a wife already and will not trade you for any other." Twelve told Rose with tears in his eyes...but she needs to be allowed to forget. I think this a loop for her...and that it is closing."
"No, not that." Clara spoke from behind him, having settled the kids down for naps. "You are my father and Rose is my mother...and I haven't happened yet. Nor has the you that engendered me. And I'm really tired of hiding it...but I can't stay here and now...and I don't know where you are."
Rose moved first, gathering Clara up into her arms and pulling her face into her shoulder. "Well? Don't just stand around, find yourself!" She snapped, leading the girl to Four. "Look, this is your dad's Fourth form...isn't that a silly thing to have wrapped round his throat? Must strangle himself fifty times a day."
"Oi!" Four protested good-naturedly, but he drew Clara into the protective circle of his arms...he could see the beginning of Clara's time line branching off from his own in his distant future and locked eyes with a nodding First...he could see it too.
"Mum?"
"Yes Clara?
"There's fourteen of Dad here...all trying to drive at the same time...one's bad enough, but with so many...how many kinds of lost are we actually talking about, here?"
"Good point." She stopped all of them and told them. "One of the cyclic firsts...either the actual First or The thirteenth will drive...the rest of you, sit!"
And in the end First and Thirteenth worked together to find the form which had actually gotten Rose pregnant with Clara.
"How many?" Rose wanted to know after several misses.
"Forms forward or siblings?"
"Both."
Eighty seven for the one, over fifty for the other...you're not aging, y'know, so you never actually make it to menopause. And you were pregnant again when I got lost."
"Fifty..."
"Over, sometimes you have twins, so how much over, not sure." Clara told her with a straight face that didn't fool Eight in the least. He burst out laughing and shook a finger at his daughter. "Not nice to tease your mum like that."
"Clara!" Rose scolded.
"What? You're asking for future bits and deserved it."
Ten looked over at Rose. "She has a point."
"Yeah, suppose she does." Rose grumbled. Ten chose not to mention what he'd picked up...all of him. It was the other way round, fifty full cycles and counting, for him, 87 kids and counting for Rose. He did lock eyes with himselves though, most of them doing some variation of a long, slow, low mental whistle. On the upside, her version of her parents would be looking for them, now, too, since they had way too much foreknowledge now...so that bit went smoother.
She left Four a bit later and settled next to Twelve, leaning against her father the way she used to and which had often made him look at her funny.
"You okay?" This him got it now and drew her close.
"Yeah, sort of. Better now, thanks. This you almost got repeated, 'cept my dad's you is a dishwater blonde...personality is very close...trousers are a bit longer in the leg, though."
"Ah." Understanding burst from Twelve to the inter-Doctor self-comm and Thirteen's eyes showed compassion. "So, you thought you were gonna to never be...and have to watch it...and loose a near copy of your progenitor's me at the same time. You didn't reject me...you were in time-shock. My poor baby."
"And then...you wouldn't..."
"Hold you."
Tears dropped openly down her face. "And I couldn't tell you why I needed you to."
Twelve had her in his lap in the next instant, the TARDIS crooning to the time-lost daughter of her pilot as another, extra TARDIS landed several feet away. Clara's aching need for her own version of her father had drawn the much older TARDIS in like a beacon.
It was strange, Rose thought, to see two forms so much alike, both bowed over her future daughter like two halves of a sheltering umbrella. She saw her face on the monitor and stepped closer. "I'll stay in here, we can at least talk without doing something stupid."
She laughed, eyes watching Twelve ease Clara into the lap...whatever number that was..."Your him has her now. Twelve and he are really close in looks and personality, though."
Twelve wiped her eyes as she looked up and saw her own version of him, the self that was her actual, physical father...and burrowed her face into the side of his neck.
"She walked the time-stream...on my watch, because I look like your me."
"Yeah," He nodded. It was eerie, how similar even the voices were. "I made the mistake, once, of asking the TARDIS what she was doing and she told me she'd just started that walk. I didn't put the pieces together until the old girl put up an image of this self and one of your self, side by side." He winced and held their daughter a little closer. "Then the thing with Nine and Eleven with Liz 1, ...she said BE a Doctor. What she meant was be the father she had always known...didn't understand that until right now, by the way."
Twelve flinched. "It worked. Never understood why her good opinion was so vital to me. Obvious now, yeah?"
"Yeah. You know you can't have the details, only that she's your daughter of a future you and had got time-lost...until you located her...and asked her to come along."
"And as the well trained time-tot she is, she never gave me any reason to look deeper...let alone in that direction."
"And she only came on Wednesdays...roughly one day a week her time, because she was terrified of screwing something up." Thirteen nodded.
"Though, if it happens again, TELL me...let me sort it out, okay?" Twelve told her, cupping her cheek. "You are my child, whatever body I'm in...and if you need help you need to tell Daddy so I can help. Okay?" A thought occurred to Thirteen.
"By the way...how old is she in Human years?"
"Sixteen."
"OI!" Ten burst out. "You will bloody tell me if you slip again, Clara. Do you understand? Tell the bloody ship and let her tell me and we'll will un-lose you, okay?"
She nodded tentatively.
The younger version of her mum smiled at Clara. "Let me clue you in on something about the rough looking one. Let Ten hold you, just for a bit, okay? He'll stabilize you...and once he's got you part way there, Eight will do the rest."
The undetermined future Doctor grinned as his Tenth form, still easily the softest touch in the lot so far, got those long arms around their daughter...filling her with a particular kind of strength that he didn't even realize he was imparting. It was just a part of that body he could share.
Eight was grinning as soon as he realized exactly what Ten was doing...and didn't know it. He slipped into place and was ready when Ten passed her his Empathic form to finish the job. He passed the by then, passed out sixteen year old to his elder, blondish, form.
"Try not to lose her again."
"I hope not, being that frantic isn't fun. We were on Bratticah three when a auto-repeating polarized time-storm...the sort that travels at odd angles linearly, swept over that side of the planet. Nothing I could do." He felt all of his selves present and those in his own version of the ship wince. He shuddered and felt Ten's strong hand on his elder self's shoulder, quietly supportive. "She was just gone. And then she Walked and I knew she had drawn the Storm as a vehicle for a loop..."
"And he relaxed, while I was going nuts. Relax, your me went to your room, so this me could come out. Ten...she said to tell you she needs a hand in your en-suite...something's stuck, I think."
Eight, Eleven,Twelve, Thirteen and her version caught the slight laughter in her tone. Ten had already left the room. Eight caught it because he was an Empath, the rest caught it as a memory began opening up...blindsiding the younger ones of him. Her version remembered it quite well...and he grinned at her toothily.
Rose was stuck alright, she was naked in the shower...stuck without an equally naked Doctor and she was frustrated.
"Oi, other you said you were stuc...k." His voice petered out as he took the hand she held out...and stepped into the water fully clothed.
She started stripping him to his skin. "Mine." She told him firmly.
"No, no there wouldn't be. Okay, mes...let's imprint her. She's as jeopardy friendly as her mama." Ten suggested. "If she slips off again, we'll want her to 'snap' straight to the TARDIS."
All heads turned as a horrid smell filled the room...just as Seven walked up holding a critter that had them drawing back in alarm. "What I want to know is which of me decided an undescented pet skunk was perfect for the TARDIS."
"It's Sabrina's." Eleven sighed, holding his nose and kicking in his bypass.
~tbc~