A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
FanGirlJen-Well, I promise everything will get happier eventually:)
bananas-rule-2015-I liked that part too...:P Gives Elsa a chance to do something for Anna instead of the other way around.:) Is it rotten that I can't wait till when their parents die?:P Lol;)
Lindstrom-I think Elsa needs a hug...:/ I figured Elsa wouldn't mind being close to Anna with the door separating them.:P
friend-Thanks for the review!:) I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Why, yes, as a matter of fact Elsa and Anna ARE going to meet directly in this chapter...which is funny, because I hadn't seen your review when I wrote it.;) Not in Elsa's room, though.:P
On to the story!:)
Very early the next morning, Elsa went down to the kitchen through the secret passages and picked up two boxes of chocolate-one for herself and one for Anna, and some leftover pancakes she found wrapped up on the counter. Let's see…I know Anna is still sleeping right outside my door because I heard her snoring just now. I'll go in Anna's room via the secret passages and leave the box of chocolate under her pillow. She'll know I did it, so she won't question where it's from. Elsa stopped in her own room on the way to Anna's and quickly wrote a note that simply said 'Make it last' and a smiley face. She stuck it inside Anna's box of chocolate and headed to Anna's room. Elsa listened for any noises coming from inside Anna's room, but there was dead silence. Good. No one's in there. Elsa opened the secret entrance, darted into Anna's room, left the chocolates under Anna's pillow, and scrambled back inside the secret entrance. Made it. Now Anna will find them later this morning. And good grief, Anna's room is so messy! How can she find anything in there?! Elsa thought her sister's room looked like a tornado had just come through. Clothes, shoes, books, and whatever else Anna owned everywhere! All over the floor!
Of course, Anna doesn't have to worry about freezing her room, so she can afford to have it messy, Elsa thought as she headed back to her room. One of the main reasons Elsa kept her room perfectly neat with everything put away was so that she wouldn't lose or outright ruin her possessions when she lost control. Elsa remembered one time back when she was eight shortly after the accident-she'd left a few things out where they didn't belong overnight; and after a bad dream had made her lose control, two books and a dress were completely ruined. And then Mom and Dad wouldn't replace them…because it was my fault that I left them out and subsequently ruined them. So after that, Elsa made sure that everything was put away, so the absolute worst thing that happened was that there was snow or ice all over the floor. Except when I was eight, I didn't make a mess all over the floor…it was just part of the floor…
Elsa sat down in the window seat and ate her pancakes. It was earlier than she woke up usually, but Elsa didn't feel like going back to sleep. She missed Anna; she wanted to see Anna; she wanted to talk to Anna; but most of all, she just wanted to give Anna a hug. Well, I certainly can't give her a hug. That's completely out of the question since it's not safe. But maybe, just maybe… On impulse, Elsa headed into the secret passages again…and found herself going back to Anna's room. Elsa! Bad girl! You can't do this! You just turn around and march back to your room where you belong. Elsa paused for a moment, thinking. Nope. I'm going to Anna's room. I'm going to talk to her, not touch her or get anywhere near her. And I'll go back to my room right after.
Elsa sat down on the floor behind where the door would open so that if someone besides Anna came in, she could easily slip into the hall and not be seen. There's that entrance into the passages at the top of the staircase at the end of the hall…I'd just have to get to it and slip inside. Pleased that she had an escape route should something go awry, Elsa smiled and waited for Anna to come back. If she was lucky, Anna should be coming any minute now. Gerda would find Anna sleeping outside Elsa's room and take Anna back to her own room.
Fifteen minutes later, Anna walked sleepily into her room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Elsa heard Gerda tell Anna that she should get ready for breakfast soon. Then the door shut again and Elsa hopped to her feet. "Anna?" she asked hesitantly. "Please don't be mad at me for sneaking into your room without permission, but-"
"AAH!" Anna screamed.
"AAH!" Elsa screamed in surprise at Anna's scream.
"What happened?!" they asked each other at the same time. Then, "Sorry, you first."
Both girls started giggling uncontrollably. Finally, Elsa managed to say, "Anna, I know I'm not supposed to be here…I just…I just…wanted to talk to you…" Elsa looked down at the floor and clasped her hands together.
"Am I still dreaming or is my sister, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle standing in my room?" Anna asked, sounding a bit puzzled.
"I'm really here," Elsa replied with a small smile.
"So wait, how did you…I mean what the…how in the world did you get in here without waking me up?! I was sleeping right up against your door!" Anna exclaimed. "Don't get me wrong-I'm not mad. Just surprised," she assured her sister.
"Teleportation," Elsa responded in a silly voice. "Just kidding!"
Anna laughed and ran to lock the door, just in case. "I'll believe that story when I see it! Anyways…what made you come to my room now all of a sudden? Oh yeah, and I want to know why you were singing such a depressing song last night! Where in the world did that come from?"
Elsa's smile disappeared. "My head, Anna," she whispered. Conceal, don't feel; conceal don't feel…I am NOT losing control in front of Anna.
"Elsa…is what that song said really true? Those lyrics…" Anna knew she should just change the subject, but she had to know.
Elsa hesitantly nodded as her eyes filled with tears. Yes, Anna. They are. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel… She didn't trust herself to say anything aloud without completely losing it.
Anna longed to give her sister a comforting hug, but she was sure that any actions like that on her part would just chase Elsa away again entirely. Elsa's lonely. She may not admit it, but she is. She wouldn't have risked getting in trouble all over again by coming here otherwise. "Elsa, I don't know why you're feeling like that, but I'm telling you for now and forever; I will never abandon you. Ever. Even if things around here never change and you stay in that room forever, I will never 'take your sunshine away'. I'll be right here for you. Always." Anna sounded resolute and determined. And I mean it. I'm never, ever abandoning her. Elsa needs someone to be there for her even if she's convinced she's better off alone.
Elsa just stared at Anna, her blue eyes filled with unshed tears. "Why d-do you still c-care about me?" She should hate me for the way I ignore her all the time. I'd be devastated if she did, but I wouldn't blame her one bit.
"Because you're my sister, Elsa, and sisters should always have each others' backs," Anna answered instantly.
"But I don't have yours…" Elsa's voice trailed off.
"Then I'll just have to count for both of us until you can," Anna retorted. "I have no idea what's happened to you, but my gut tells me it's not entirely you that's making you act this way. Therefore I will have to fix that, huh?" Anna gave Elsa a lopsided smile.
"You can't fix it," Elsa mumbled. "It's just me. Stupid, abnormal, defective me." Elsa glanced down at her gloved hands in disgust.
"Quit calling yourself all those nasty names, Elsa. You know what? Let's talk about something else. Or play a game," Anna suggested. "Ooh, I know! How about charades? You don't have to get anywhere near me to play that!" Anna shoved all the things she had all over the floor against the walls and under the bed so there was a large space in the center of her room.
"Okay!" Elsa's unhappy countenance brightened. "You go first!"
Anna thought for a moment before stretching her arms straight in front of her and clapping them open and shut.
"Alligator," Elsa replied instantly.
Anna made a face. "You guessed too fast!"
"Well, that was a really easy one. Don't forget, it doesn't have to be an animal," Elsa said. She paused, thinking of what she wanted to do, before walking to the middle of the empty space and bending backwards into a bridge.
Anna was puzzled-and surprised. "You can still do that?" Anna remembered Elsa doing that when they were little and then cracking up laughing when Anna's arms wouldn't hold her up when she tried to copy the move. "Elsa…come on, what are you supposed to be? Aren't you going to do anything else?"
Elsa giggled and almost tipped herself off balance. "It's really, really obvious if you think about it…"
"Acrobat?"
"What? No!"
"Ok, um…gymnast?"
"Nope."
"A really weird bendy snake?"
Now Elsa literally fell over laughing before standing up and dropping back into the bridge position. "No, Anna. Come on; what's the move called?"
"A bridge…hey, Elsa, that's no fair!" Anna complained when she realized the answer. "And wait a second…you're sixteen…how are you doing that if you're wearing a corset?"
"Sure it is! I was being a literal bridge." Elsa stood up from her bridge without dropping down on her back first, which irritated Anna a little, because she still couldn't do that. Last time she'd tried that, she had actually ended up falling over and having a sore head for two days. Oops. "Your turn now," Elsa announced. "Also…don't tell anyone, but I'm not wearing a corset. They're uncomfortable and itchy…yeah, thanks but no thanks." Elsa shook her head firmly. It's not like anyone's going to see me and find out anyway…Well, Anna didn't know, so it's probably not noticeable anyhow. And neither our parents nor Gerda have ever questioned me about it, so I'm probably safe.
Anna giggled. "I think I'll do the same when Mom decides that I'm old enough for one. I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me." (This comment earned her a smile from Elsa.) Anna took her spot in the empty space and proceeded to stand tall and walk very slowly and regally with her hands clasped in front of her.
"A bride?" Elsa guessed.
"Uh-uh."
Elsa sighed. "Me? I do that dumb clasping hands thing all the time…"
"You're close…"
"Is it me doing something specific?"
"Yeah. You doing something specific in the future." Anna gave a hint.
"Anna, I don't want to guess anything about me. Just go ahead and tell me. You can go again if you want," Elsa said.
"It's you at your coronation to be queen of Arendelle!" Anna announced.
"Terrific," Elsa replied dully. She jumped as both she and Anna heard a sharp knock on the door. Oh, no…
"Anna, why haven't you come down to breakfast yet? And who are you talking to in there?" they heard their father say.
Elsa's face went white. I'm going to be in so much trouble if Dad finds out I'm in here.
But Anna had a quick explanation. "Sorry, lost track of time…I'm playing a charade impersonating game, that's all. So I might have kinda sorta been talking out loud to nobody."
Elsa frowned at Anna's lie, and Anna held up her crossed fingers. Anna, that's the oldest thing to get away with lying ever…but I'd rather go along with that than get discovered in here. Besides, we are playing a charade impersonating game…
"Well, please hurry up, Anna. Stop your game and come down. Breakfast is served now."
Struck by an idea, Elsa grinned and motioned for Anna to stay quiet. Dad completely believed Anna…I bet I can make Anna's excuse even more convincing… Then, in a voice that sounded mostly like herself but a bit like Anna, she said, "Listen to this! See, this is my Elsa impersonation! Is it convincing? 'Go away, Anna.'" Elsa paused for a second and then said in a deep voice that sounded somewhat like her father's, "And this is me copying you. 'Hurry up, Anna. Stop your game and come downstairs.'"
Anna stood behind Elsa, silently laughing so hard tears rolled down her cheeks as she clutched her sides. Elsa should be a comedienne. She's a riot! THAT'S the Elsa I remember.
"All right, Anna, game time over. Come down as soon as you're ready."
Elsa changed her voice so it sounded like Anna's, "Yeah, sure, Dad. Just gotta braid my hair and I'm coming. 'Kay?"
The girls heard their father's footsteps fade away down the hall. Elsa cracked up laughing when she saw what Anna was doing. "Was I really that funny?"
"Yeah…you were!" Anna gasped out. "Where'd you learn…how to do…impersonations like that? I remember you did impersonations when we were little, but they weren't that good then. You even made your…impersonation of yourself sound…just a teeny bit like me!" Anna literally collapsed on the floor laughing. "And how on earth…did you manage to…keep from bursting out laughing?!"
"Anna, pull yourself together! You have to braid your hair and get downstairs to breakfast like I claimed you were," Elsa said, still giggling. That was fun. I haven't felt this happy in forever. "I'm being serious now, Anna…I don't think I can get over here again…I'm not safe to be around most of the time…" she trailed off. Any of the time…I shouldn't have come here. It was risky and selfish on my part. But nothing happened though…Elsa, quit trying to find loopholes. You were wrong to come here. You don't belong here. You risked Anna's safety to let yourself be happy for a little while. That was dumb.
Anna looked at her sister as they both stopped laughing. "It's all right, Elsa. I can't tell you that I understand, because I don't. But I'm not mad at you. And I won't be mad even if you never come back in here again. I've missed you and I've really, really enjoyed being with you," she said sincerely. "Remember…I'm always here for you. Always."
"Thank you, Anna…for everything," Elsa replied quietly, willing Anna to understand everything she couldn't put into words. That Anna didn't try to make her explain her odd, inconsistent behavior. That Anna still cared about her. That Anna didn't push the issue about explaining how Elsa had gotten to Anna's room. That Anna didn't start asking her about the gloves again. That Anna was willing to play a game with her even though they both knew it was a one-time thing. And a million other things, Elsa thought.
Anna quickly brushed her hair and braided into her usual pigtail braids. "Elsa, you are very, very welcome. I wish I could do more for you…to make you happy."
"You do make me happy, Anna. Truly." You're the only reason I'm ever happy, Elsa thought.
Anna smiled at Elsa and started to head out of her room to go downstairs. She paused in the doorway and turned back to face Elsa. "You want me to walk back to your room with you?"
Elsa gave her sister a small smile and shook her head. "I better go back alone. Go on down to breakfast. Don't bother with me anymore."
"Elsa, you are not a bother," Anna scolded, frowning. Elsa thinks she's not worth spending time with…like she's just something you can't wait to get rid of. What have Mom and Dad said to her that's made her think of herself like that? Now Anna felt mad, but she knew she had better go downstairs before someone came to see what was taking her so long."I guess I'd better go downstairs before Dad gets suspicious…"
Elsa nodded. "Okay. Bye, Anna." I love you, Anna. Thank you for everything.
Anna sent Elsa a virtual hug, and reluctantly headed down the hall.
Elsa waited until she heard Anna's footsteps going down the stairs. Then she opened the secret entrance in her sister's room, closed it behind her, and headed back to her own room. What an awesome morning. Even if it was just a one-time thing, since I can't do this again. I love you, Anna.
Downstairs at breakfast, Anna couldn't keep from giggling every time she thought of Elsa doing her spot-on impersonations.
"What is so funny, Anna?" Idun asked.
"Nothing."
"You wouldn't be laughing at nothing."
Now Anna laughed harder because she had just thought of something she found terribly amusing. "Mom, Dad…you can't laugh at nothing because if you're laughing at nothing it becomes something because nothing can be something but something can't be nothing…Wait, what?! That made a lot more sense in my head. Never mind."
"I don't remember you being able to do impersonations like that before. I've been thinking…the one who used to do impersonations like that was your sister. You wouldn't have happened to have had Elsa in your room this morning, would you?" Agdar asked.
Anna forced herself to keep laughing, trying to keep from giving herself and Elsa away. Oh, no…I can't let Dad find out. Elsa will end up being the one in trouble, not me. "Why would you think I had Elsa in my room? You never let Elsa out of her own room."
"And I could have sworn I heard your sister singing something late last night, although I couldn't tell what it was…"
Anna frowned. "If you heard Elsa's singing late last night, why didn't you come check to see what we were-" Anna's eyes went wide when she realized she had just accidentally given herself and Elsa away. Oh no. Me and my big mouth. Dad, please don't get mad at Elsa. She didn't do anything wrong.
"You and your sister were together this morning and last night. I thought it was crystal clear that you two cannot spend time together. It isn't safe for you to be around her."
"DAD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Anna shouted. Now that she knew there was no way to fix the damage her hasty words had caused, she decided to go ahead and say what she wanted to say. "Ok, Elsa was in my room this morning. And you know what? We played a game together and NOTHING HAPPENED! You act like Elsa has a contagious disease or something. She doesn't! I know she doesn't! And you know what else? That girl-my sweet, friendly, sister, Elsa-thinks she's not worth spending time with! She asked me why I still care about her! Elsa is hurting on the inside, and it's your fault! You guys are mistreating her. I just hope you just don't know it, because if you're knowingly making Elsa feel like that; it's wrong and horrible. I think you should apologize to her by making a few changes around here." Anna leaned back in her seat as she finished her little speech.
"Anna, you have to understand…it is not safe for you two to be together. Surely you have to be exaggerating significantly about your sister's feelings about everything."
"I'm not," Anna said firmly. I think Elsa's way of hiding her true feelings from Mom and Dad is working against her. She probably doesn't seem hurt on the inside whenever she's around them. So Mom and Dad genuinely have no idea how she feels…
"Then you probably misunderstood her."
"No. I didn't. I think maybe…" Anna paused as she tried to think what to say without saying 'Elsa hides her feelings from you because she doesn't trust you'. "Maybe you should pay super duper close attention to the way Elsa acts when you see her."
"This topic is closed to further discussion."
"I'm going upstairs then," Anna announced, and left the dining hall without waiting to be excused.
When Elsa opened the note Anna had pushed under her door explaining how she had accidentally told on them, she felt sick to her stomach. Great. Anna, WHY couldn't you have kept yourself from laughing? And why was I dumb enough not to remember that I did like doing impersonations when I was little? That was so stupid. Now both of us are going to be in trouble, but I know I'm the one that Dad's going to be angry with mostly. Which is understandable, since I was the one who left her room when she wasn't supposed to, but… She knew Anna hadn't told on the two of them on purpose, but the facts remained that Anna had told, and that Elsa was going to be the one to get in the worst trouble. Elsa sighed. I'm going to end up in the dungeon. Or I'll lose the entrance in my room to the secret passages and it'll get sealed off. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to Anna's room. But I went and did it anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupid."
So Elsa wasn't surprised in the least when her father came knocking on her door a few minutes later. "Hello. Let me guess. I'm in trouble for going to Anna's room," she said flatly.
"Did Anna give you a note under the door? You know you're not supposed to have any contact with her, let alone go in her room. It isn't safe."
Just get to the point. I know I'm going to get punished somehow. So what is it? Elsa thought. Blah blah blah…I know I shouldn't spend time with Anna…it was stupid…I get it. I'm dangerous. Don't remind me, please. She frowned and crossed her arms as she glared at the closed door and the ice barrier against it; but said nothing.
"You'll be making a trip downstairs if I hear any word that something like this has happened again."
Elsa stuck out her tongue at the door, thinking it didn't matter that she was being rude since no one could see her. "Euphemism alert," was all she said aloud.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means" Elsa stressed the word 'means', "that I know that 'downstairs' means the castle dungeon, and that I would rather you just said it outright than avoid saying what it really is." I'm not surprised, but I am not going down there. I probably deserve it though. Going to Anna's room was a selfish thing to do on my part. What if I'd messed up and hurt her again? Elsa purposely blocked out her father's voice as she lit a candle and slipped into the secret passages. She just didn't want to listen anymore. Elsa made her way to the entrance into her sister's room and leaned against the passage wall. I'll just have to be satisfied with this. At least I can sort of be close to Anna, even if she doesn't know I'm here. "I don't deserve to even do this," she whispered. "I risked Anna's safety by spending time with her…" Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away…" Elsa stopped singing when she felt her voice give out as she started to cry silently. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. I've got to stay sane. I've got to just forget everything and everyone, including Anna, even if it hurts. Which it will. Still, Elsa stayed where she was, as close to Anna as she could be without risking her sister's safety again.
On the other side of the wall, Anna jumped in surprise. She was sure she'd heard Elsa singing that depressing song again and sounding awfully plaintive. I must have imagined it. Still, I don't know…just in case… Anna thought for a minute before singing to the same melody,
"I'll be your sunshine, forever'n'ever
I'll make you happy when skies are gray
You'll always know dear, how much I love you
I'll never take your sunshine away." Anna stopped singing and said aloud, "I'm, like, 99.999 percent sure I imagined your singing, Elsa, but just in case of the one percent chance that it was real, listen up. I mean it. I may not be able to be with you, but I'm here for you. Forever." She felt rather silly talking to what seemed to be absolutely nothing, but hey…just in case. Just in case.
Little did she know Elsa was on the other side of the wall in the secret passages. Elsa heard every word Anna said. She did that for me and she really honest to goodness thought she was imagining things. I need to be quiet if I want to stay here. I know I don't deserve you, but thank you so much, Anna. I love you.
A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)