AN: I'm switching the POV to Chandler's for this Chapter and next chapter.
They say that after a traumatic event in your life you'll get severe depression. 95% of all trauma patients are diagnosed with moderate to severe depression. Unfortunately I was part of that 95%.
I look down at the bottle of prescription painkillers in my hand. I want to take them, I really do. But Monica. Oh my god Monica! If I overdosed, and died, she'd be so disappointed. I quickly put the bottle back in the medicine cabinet, and grab my razor. I take a deep breath before I gently press it into my skin and the drag it. I stare down at the blood coming out of the fresh wound. Monica will already be disappointed that I have made one cut in my body, she is very protective of me since the incident.
The depression began about three weeks ago, about a week after Monica and I first made love, which by the way, was, and is, amazing. It wasn't like the depression was Monica's fault. It happened one day when I was looking into the mirror. All I saw was a shell, I didn't see Chandler. I saw someone else.
I then turned to the scar that was now on my chest. I didn't blame Mon, I blamed myself. Was I regretting? A little, I realized that either way someone would have gotten hurt. I was being selfish, I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want Mon to get hurt either. I hate Kip. I hate his stupid face. His stupid intentions.
I can't take this anymore. I need to talk to someone. Although I don't want to talk to Monica, or Joey, or any of my friends. I know I will regret this later, but I need to do this.
I quickly walk out of the bathroom and walk into my kitchen. I pick up the receiver of the phone and dial my Mom's number.
"Hey Mom, it's me." I say after I hear her pick up the phone and say hello.
"Hey sweetie, what's up?" She asks from the other end.
"Mom, can you come over?" I ask, ignoring her question. My voice is desperate, the child inside of me is desperate to be with his Mother.
"Honey what's going on?"She asks. That's right, we forgot to call her after I got shot.
"I want to be with you Mom, please?" I beg. Tears are now flowing out of my eyes.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." I say and she hangs up the phone. I set the receiver back into its cradle, and then lock the door. I don't want anyone to see me like this.
Hours later I hear a knock at the door. I slowly rise from my seat at the kitchen counter and walk towards the door. Before I unlock the door I look out of the peep hole and see my Mom standing outside of my door. I unlock the door and swing it open to face my Mom. In that moment I know I made the right decision calling her. She wastes no time walking into my apartment. I know that I will have to tell her that I was shot, she deserves to know.
I close the door behind her and turn to face her. My bottom lip is trembling, and a tear rolls down my cheek."Oh honey." She says and wipes away the tear. "Chandler what's going on?" She asks. I want to talk, but my voice is paralyzed but the tears that are beginning to flow down my cheeks.
As a child I could never open up to my parents. I would lock away all of my feelings, and conceal them forever. However, this time I need moral support from my Mother. "Sweetie come here." She says, and stretches out her arms to pull me into an hug. I gladly accept the gesture and bury my face in her shoulder. I feel one of her hands stroke my back and the other my hair. "Hey tiger, tell me what's going on." I pull out of her embrace and her hands squeeze my shoulders.
The only person I talk to about the incident is Monica. Not just because she is my girlfriend, but because she was there. No one outside of the friend group knows either. Telling her would make it seem so official. I want to believe that it never happened.
I try to form a sentence but I can't. "Hey, talk to me." She says. Time to play charades. With my right hand I form a gun. "A gun?" She asks, I nod slightly. I then point the gun to my chest, all of the sudden every memory from that night come flooding back. "You shot yourself?" She asks, her face is already full of worry.
"Someone shot me." I say, barley above a whisper. She lets out a sob and claps her hand to her mouth. "It was in the chest." I say which makes her cry even harder. "But, it made me realize just how much I love you, and just how much I love Dad." I say.
"I love you too." She says and pulls me into another hug. Again, I begin to sob into her shoulder. I have never clung to my Mom for support. "You're my son I will always love you." She says. As she pulls away she wipes the tears away from my eyes. "Chandler did they get you any painkillers?" She asks as she continues to wipe away my tears. I nod. "Can you go get them for me?" She asks. She knows me so well, she knows that I want to take them. I walk towards the bathroom as I continue to cry.
After I grab the painkillers out of the cabinet I walk of the bathroom to find my Mom standing outside the door her hand outstretched to take the bottle from me. I hand them to her and she reads the bottle, like a Mom deciding if their kid can have a food from the store. "Its Hydrocodone." I say as she continues to read the bottle.
"Ok here is the plan, I will be staying with your for a while, we are also going to call your dad." She tells me after he puts the medicine in her pocket.
"Fine, but I should tell you Monica might stay over a few nights of the week, and I might also stay at her place." I tell her.
"Why?" She asks. I don't tell my Mom anything anymore do I?!
"Because we are going out, and I love her." I tell my Mom. For the first time since my Mom has arrived she smiles. "I thought that might cheer you up." I tell her.
"Well it did." She says.
"Mom, I really do love you. I am sorry I have never said it before." I say.
"Honey I am just glad that you're are ok." She says.
"Thank your for staying with me, Mom." I say.
"You know I would do anything for your my angel." She says and walks into the kitchen. "Now I want you to call your father." She says handing me the phone.
"Why can't you do it?" I ask, a slight whine came with that.
"Because you need to do this, you had the courage to call me. Your Dad loves your just as much as I love you. Now call him." She instructs.
"Fine." I say and take the phone from her. I dial my father's phone number as remind myself of the cuts on my arm.
"Hello?"
"Hey Dad… It's me."
"Chandler? What's wrong? You never call me." My Dad says from the other end.
"Actually it would be better if we talked in person." I say the lump in my throat getting bigger the more I talk.
"Chandler I am very busy, I'm sorry." I hear him say.
It's time to tell them about the suicidal thoughts. "Dad I have been having suicidal thoughts. I have almost died once in the last two mounts, please. I want to be with my Dad." I beg.
"Chandler, what do you mean?"
"Dad, please come to New York. I beg again.
"Ok I'll be there." He says and hangs up.
"Well." My Mom asks.
"He's coming." I say.
"Good we'll will have a long chat." She says.
"Kind of like an intervention?" I ask.
"That's exactly what it is, and I will make sure Monica is here too." She says and begins to walk towards my room. " I hope you don't mind if I borrow your clothes." She says as she walks into my room.
This should be fun…
AN: Hi, please review.