A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)
Guest-Lol, you aren't the only one who's excited for their parents to die:P;)
Lindstrom-I think Anna's loyalty is one of her best qualities.:)
Angela3000-We'll get some happy stuff in this chapter, actually. (Not ALL of it, but some:))
Guest321-I think the depressing stuff is probably mostly actually in the next chapter instead of this one...I say MOSTLY, not 'not at all'.:P P.S. Why, thank you!:)
Fatten Saad-Lol, very funnyXD ****Yes, quite well.;)****
Guest-VERY expensive two-week freedom for Elsa...
bananas-rule-2015-There's some happy stuff in this chapter!:) I don't mind the caps lock;)
Guest-I think that's the consensus-everybody hates Agdar:P
princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yeah, Anna is going to be really confused...:/
olaf99-How could I skip those two weeks?! Of course they're in this chapter.:) Elsa and Anna need some happy events.;)
On to the story!:) (Ok, I know I promised the shipwreck was in this chapter, and it kinda is [we as the readers will know it's happened], but Elsa and Anna aren't going to find out till next chapter. So...hopefully nobody's mad.:P)
Elsa and Anna happily sat down on opposite ends of the table. All Elsa could think was that this was her first time eating a meal in the dining hall since she was eight. Ten years. A decade. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this, but…I can't say I'm exactly sorry for doing it, either. She smiled at Anna and said, "It's been a decade since I've done this. Thank you for inviting me, Anna."
Anna resisted the urge to frown. Elsa is so excited about simply HAVING A MEAL IN THE DINING HALL. That is ridiculous. This is what she should have been doing all along. "You're welcome, Elsa, but you shouldn't thank me for something like this. It's just a meal."
Elsa's excited smile faded. Yes, I should thank you. You actually invited me to do something with you without trying to get me to do something I'm not comfortable with. "It might be just a meal for you, but it's a big deal for me. I'm used to eating alone in my room…"
Now Anna felt like smacking herself. Just a meal, indeed. That was a stupid thing for me to say. Elsa's 'normal' isn't the way it should be. Of course she's going to get excited about simple things.
"Anna, why are you frowning?" Elsa asked. "Did I say something wrong?" Maybe Anna thought I was being annoying or something, making a big deal over something simple.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Did you say something wrong?!" Anna pushed away from the table and jumped out of her seat.
Elsa flinched at Anna's shouting. Big oops…what faux pas did I commit now? "I'm sorry, Anna, really! I won't say anything else stupid."
Anna started to run towards Elsa to give her a hug; then remembered her sister didn't like being touched and sat back down. "Elsa, stop it. You did nothing wrong. It just made me upset that you were all excited over something as simple as eating a meal in the dining hall, that's all."
Elsa gave a relieved sigh. "Oh. I'm sorry." Now that I'm really thinking about it, that IS really lame…
"Quit apologizing for nothing," Anna scolded.
"I'll try." Elsa gave Anna a small smile, and the two of them finished eating their breakfast in a mostly happy silence.
After breakfast, Elsa was still debating whether she should go back to her room or not when Anna asked if Elsa wanted to go outside in the courtyard with her. I can't do that. It'll be weird if I do that now and someone sees me; and then when Mom and Dad come back I don't do it anymore… "I better not," Elsa decided. I really want to though. I haven't been outside in so long.
Anna didn't press the issue. Elsa wasn't hightailing it away from her, and that was more than she had been doing before. "D'you want to…ride bicycles together?"
"Anna, I can't go outside," Elsa said regretfully. "Plus I don't even know if I can ride a bicycle…" I could when I was little, but I was a bit shaky and that was also ten years ago.
"You don't hafta go outside. We can just ride around the halls. Or down the stairs!"
Elsa's eyes grew big at the idea of riding a bicycle down the stairs. She remembered Anna convincing her to do that together when they were little, and they'd ended up taking a nasty tumble more than once. And Anna had continued wanting to do it anyway; she didn't care. Elsa remembered liking riding fast outdoors (albeit a bit shakily), but there was no steering a trip down the stairs. You just rode off out of control and hoped you stayed upright. Elsa hated bumping and hurtling out of control. Yeah, I don't think so. I have enough control issues... "Down the stairs?! I'd have thought you grew out of that by now. I am not riding a bicycle down the stairs."
"The hall, then?" Anna asked.
Elsa mulled that over for a minute. You can't do that with your sister, Elsa. You'll have to be too close to her, and it won't be safe. "I could just watch you," she offered.
Anna frowned. "I'm not gonna go ride a bike while you stand around by yourself. What do you want to do, Elsa?" So…Mom and Dad make her stay in her room, but she does choose to stay away physically her own self. Probably because of that stupid 'it's not safe' thing. Anna decided to try to convince Elsa otherwise. "Y'know, Elsa, you aren't gonna hurt me if you get close. I know you like hugs, 'cause you ASKED me for one when I came down to find you. And even if you did hurt me, I wouldn't be mad 'cause I'd know you didn't do it on purpose."
Elsa just pushed away from the table and ran from the room. She could feel herself starting to get upset again, and she was not going to lose control in front of Anna. But I did hurt you…when we were little! And I can't let you give me any more hugs, either. I just did that because I knew I was safe to be around right then because of those shackles. I can't very well explain that to Anna…it barely makes sense even to me! Elsa darted into her room and shut the door. A moment later, she heard Anna's signature knock on the door. "Anna, please go away! Just for now! I promise I'll come out later. Please?"
What did I say to make her run off again? Anna paused outside Elsa's door. Elsa had told her to go away, but she also said she would come out later. Anna took this to mean that Elsa didn't really want her to go away at all, so she said, "I'm not leaving, Elsa. I'll sit right out here till you're ready to come out, all right?"
Elsa didn't answer, but she went to sit leaning against her door. Thank you, Anna. She pulled her knees to her chest, but not because she was upset this time. Just because she was comfortable sitting that way. Anna is too understanding. She doesn't even know why I ran off. But she's still willing to stay with me. Elsa smiled and finally just said, "Thank you, Anna."
"You are quite welcome, and you don't have to thank me. Elsa, are you sitting against the door? You sound really close by," Anna replied.
"Mmhmm…" Just a few minutes longer by myself. I need to be completely calm if I'm going to come out and talk to Anna, Elsa thought.
"Are you ready to come out, Elsa?"
"Please just give me a few more minutes, Anna…please…and, um, the door's locked on your side," Elsa said. Anna's going to have to open the door anyway. I don't think she'll barge in on me, though.
"You got it. Elsa…are the keys in Dad's desk in his study? I could find 'em while you finish…uh, whatever you're doing in there," Anna answered.
Elsa sighed. I'm doing absolutely nothing besides trying to calm myself down. "They're in the back of a drawer in that desk, yes. It's the key that looks kinda like a snowflake." Ironic, huh…oh, I'm not going to think about it.
"Ok. Be right back. I won't come in till you say I can, though, Elsa."
Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade off down the hall. She finally felt calm enough that she wasn't about to let off ice any second, and she decided that was as calm as she was going to get. Anna can open the door the minute she comes back.
When Elsa gave Anna permission to open the door a few minutes later, Anna immediately gave her sister a suggestion. "Why don't you switch the lock so it's on your side? That way you can come and go as you please without somebody having to let you out."
Elsa frowned. If Mom and Dad come back and find out I did that, I'll be in big, big trouble…
"You could always switch it back before Mom and Dad get back," Anna added, almost reading Elsa's exact thoughts.
I could, but…that's kind of rude and disrespectful… "Don't you think that's a bit…underhanded and sneaky?" Elsa asked.
"Good grief, Elsa, WHY INSERTWORDI'MNOTGONNASAY DO YOU EVEN CARE?! Mom and Dad have been rotten to you! Your door shouldn't lock on the outside anyway!" Anna exclaimed.
Elsa turned away, crossing her arms around her middle. But I'm dangerous. I hurt Anna…I shouldn't even be leaving my room to spend time with Anna in the first place… "They're still my parents, Anna," she whispered. "Keeping you safe from…from me."
"Elsa…mistreating you does NOT keep me safe. That's stupid. Even if you were dangerous, which I still don't believe in the least, that's still just totally absurd," Anna said firmly. "C'mon, just switch the locks. We don't even have to tell Gerda or Kai about it. We can just take the lock off one of the guest rooms and exchange it with yours. Well, if we can figure out how to do that."
Is it possible that Anna's right? I know I can't get close to Anna and everything, but…I shouldn't have been chained up in the dungeon. That was not fair. Especially the second time regarding me predicting the tornado. I was trying to help. Elsa began questioning her situation for one of the very few times in years. And my door's lock should be on my side. That I know Anna is right on. "I think I can switch the locks," Elsa said finally.
"Awesome! I'll go get the tools from downstairs. Do…do you want to come with me?" Anna asked. She knew Elsa was still questioning anything and everything about what she was doing, but at least Elsa was thinking and willing to talk, even if it was just a little.
"Y-yes?" Elsa said in a questioning tone. Then, in a stronger voice, "Yes. Yes, I do. Thank you, Anna." I can walk downstairs with Anna. I can do that. I can do that. No one is here to keep me from doing it, and I've got it under control at the moment.
Anna just smiled at her. "Let's go, then." She and Elsa started down the hall; Elsa trailing a few feet behind her. Anna turned back to wait for her sister to catch up.
Elsa quickly realized what Anna was doing. Waiting for her. Waiting for her. "Go on, Anna…you don't have to wait for me." You shouldn't wait for me anyway…I still can't get too close…
"No, I don't HAVE to. I WANT to, Elsa. You are not going to hurt me, Elsa, I know you won't. We're just going to go down the stairs together."
But you don't know what's really wrong with me. Elsa was still clasping her hands together in front of her, wondering what she should do, when Anna ran back to stand next to her. What's Anna doing?
"Elsa, I'm just gonna touch your shoulder." Anna noticed Elsa starting to say something and back away, and quickly added, "Wait, Elsa. If you still want me to move away from you after a couple seconds, that's ok. I'll move and I won't touch you any more unless you say I can."
Elsa stopped backing away and stared quizzically at her sister. She's not going to try to jump all over me and hug me? That seems more of an Anna-ish thing to do. She's trying to…give me a bit of space. That's what Anna's doing. Elsa flinched when she felt Anna's hand on her shoulder, but the only thing her mind registered was Anna's touching me without me being sick or chained up AND I'M NOT HURTING HER! "Anna…Anna…you're touching me and I'm not hurting you! It happened! It really, really happened!" After ten years, it happened…it really, truly happened! Happy tears rolled down Elsa's face, but she didn't try to wipe them away. "Why am I crying?! I'm happy! Really! It's just…I don't know!"
"See? I told you it was ok, Elsa!" Anna smiled at her sister and squeezed her shoulder. "Is it all right to give you a hug?"
Elsa bit her lip. I can't let Anna do that. She'll end up touching my hands somehow and I'll hurt her with my powers. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Anna…"
"That's all right," Anna assured her. Too much too fast for Elsa, I guess. After all, she probably hasn't let anyone even touch her in forever. "You did let someone touch you! That's good, right?"
"I love you, Anna. You make me…happy…" Elsa had no idea what to say. She just hoped Anna understood just how much she appreciated the way Anna treated her. Anna's willing to let me have my space; she doesn't treat me like a…a freak, even if that is what I am; and she cares about me. And wait a second… Elsa suddenly realized she felt completely, entirely in control for the first time since she was eight. She just felt like a normal girl talking to her sister. I wish I could tell Anna what was wrong with me. I wonder if she could help me with it…wait, what are you thinking, Elsa?! You can't expect Anna to do that! Still, Elsa would take what she could get. Talking to Anna face-to-face and Anna's touch on her shoulder was more than enough for her. More than I could have hoped for.
That evening, Anna invited Elsa to sleep in her room, but Elsa declined. She had absolutely no way of knowing whether she'd be in control or not while she was sleeping, so Anna's offer was out of the question.
"Well then, I'm gonna sleep in the hall outside your room," Anna said immediately.
"I'll sleep right next to the door on the other side then," Elsa offered. Why is Anna still willing to keep bothering with me? I mean, I appreciate it and I love her for it, but still…
Anna smiled at her for what was probably the zillionth time that day. "Ok! Sounds good." She held her hand up, but before she actually touched her sister, she asked, "Is it all right to touch your shoulder again?"
Elsa smiled that sweet, lopsided smile of hers and nodded. "I think so. No, I know so. Yes, it's okay." And I mean it. It's okay. I'm okay right now too.
"You are so getting a virtual hug right now," Anna told her.
"You're getting a virtual hug too," Elsa replied. Anna's TOUCHING me and it's really, truly okay! Elsa still couldn't quite believe it; she was still the exact same girl she'd been for the last ten years with the ice powers she couldn't control; yet the first day she had completely alone with Anna, Anna had gotten Elsa to allow her to touch her and absolutely nothing happened.
"I'm gonna go get ready for bed and come right back, all right?" Anna asked.
"Okay." Elsa disappeared into her room with the door that now locked on her side, and she went to get ready for bed herself. After putting on her nightgown and letting her hair down out of its bun and braiding it into the single braid she liked so much; Elsa debated on tiptoeing out into the hall to see what Anna was doing. I'm eighteen years old now. I can't go traipsing around the castle in my nightgown! But…nobody's here to stop me. I'm in charge right now. I can go out in the hall if I want to. And I want to! So Elsa pulled her door open and darted out into the hall. And for the first time, she headed to Anna's door instead of the other way around. Elsa was just deciding whether or not she should knock on her sister's door when Anna threw the door open and ran smack-dab into her. Both girls ended up on the floor. Elsa was so surprised she just lay flat on the floor in shock and said nothing.
"Oh! Elsa, I'm sooo sorry!" Anna, who had already jumped back to her feet, reached a hand toward her sister to help her to her feet.
Elsa didn't accept Anna's outstretched hand, but she got back to her feet herself and laughed. "Anna, you haven't changed one bit! You did that to me when you were five, too!"
"Yeah…I'm still kinda clumsy sometimes," Anna said sheepishly. "Anyway, come on! Let's go to sleep. I got an idea. Oh, and one other thing…how come you don't just wear your hair in a braid like that all the time? I know you like it better that way."
Elsa fingered her long braid hanging over her shoulder. "I like it better this way, but…" But nobody else does because it's not proper? I don't even know why Mom and Dad don't like it this way. Oh, well…
"Then fix it that way for just the next two weeks," Anna suggested. "It looks pretty like that, and besides, it's YOUR hair; you oughta be able to fix it how you want."
Elsa gave Anna a small smile, but she didn't say anything. Maybe that would be okay.
Ten minutes later, Elsa and Anna were lying on either side of Elsa's door with a single blanket stuck under the door between them. "So it's kinda like we're sharing it even though we're not really right next to each other," Anna explained, pulling her half of the blanket out into the hall.
"Anna, this has been the best day I've had in a long, long time," Elsa said sleepily from inside her room. Even better than when I was sixteen and snuck out into the forest. Today I got to spend lots of time with Anna. That's way better in my mind.
The two girls slept peacefully all night, aside from the fact that Anna kept pulling more than her share of the blanket out into the hall. Elsa wasn't cold, of course, but she still liked sleeping under a blanket for some reason that she did not know. Anna did that when she was little too, trying to take more than her share of the covers… Elsa couldn't be irritated though; she would rather let Anna yank the blanket all night than not have her there at all.
A few days later, Elsa went to see what political business, if any, she was supposed to deal with. Any letters and such that she would have to reply to would be on her father's desk in the study. Anna tagged along, not because she wanted to help (she most definitely did not), but because she just wanted to be with Elsa.
Elsa opened the one letter on the desk. "It's from Corona," she said as she started to read. Our cousin Rapunzel is getting married. I've never even seen her…I wish we could go to the wedding ourselves, but that's impossible. After all, the letter was an invitation.
"Where's it from?" Anna asked.
"Corona, like I said. Our cousin Rapunzel is getting married," Elsa told her. "I suppose I'll have to send our regrets that we can't go."
"We've never even SEEN her!"
Elsa sighed. "I know. But I can't leave the castle, and I am not sending you alone. Plus we would not arrive back in Arendelle before our parents come back."
"I wouldn't go alone even if you told me to. I want to spend the rest of the next two weeks with you, Elsa." Anna held her hand up and asked, "All right to touch your shoulder right now?"
Elsa nodded and smiled at her sister. "Thank you for…for letting me have the space I need. I really, really appreciate it."
Note to self: always ask Elsa if it's ok before touching her. It makes her happy. "Scoot over, Elsa. I wanna sit with you."
"Anna, I…well, that is…" Elsa frowned. That's too close for me. Anna will end up touching my hands or something…
"Ok, Elsa, never mind, it's fine," Anna said quickly. "I'll just get another chair." She pulled another chair over to the desk and sat down next to Elsa, being careful not to touch her anywhere but her shoulder. Ok, shoulder is ok, nothing else at the moment. I gotta let Elsa decide what's ok at her own pace.
Elsa jumped when Anna laid a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move away. Anna can touch my shoulder. It's fine. I'm not going to shoot ice at her if she just does that. Anna just needs to stay away from my hands mostly. And my feet, since I know I leave icy footprints when I get upset. She started writing a letter to send their regrets that they wouldn't be attending Rapunzel's wedding in Corona. "How's this?" she asked a few minutes later. " 'Dear King and Queen of Corona, The royal family of Arendelle sends our regrets that we will be unable to attend Princess Rapunzel's wedding. We wish her well and send our regards. On behalf of King Agdar and Queen Idun of Arendelle, sincerely, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle.' What do you think, Anna? Too awkward or is it okay?"
Anna made a face. "It's too standoffy and formal, don't you think?"
"It's supposed to be professional," Elsa countered. "And the word is 'standoffish', anyway…" Why am I correcting Anna on something that stupid? That's mean. I haven't even seen her in forever, and I tell her that?
"Standoffish, standoffy, whatever. I guess it's professional, if that's what you want. C'mon, let's go give the letter to Kai. He can send it out for you," Anna said. "Then we can just hang out together the rest of the day."
"Okay."
Later that evening, Elsa found herself following Anna to the hall with all the paintings in it. "Anna, what are we going to do in here?" she asked curiously.
"Bounce on the furniture," Anna announced happily. "Watch!" She boinged onto one sofa and over to the next.
Elsa frowned, but she also hid a giggle behind her hand. "Anna, we're not little kids anymore. I can't go bouncing on the furniture! What if we break something?"
Anna boinged off a sofa onto her feet and ran over to her sister. "C'mon, Elsa, you're in charge right now, so if somebody tells you to stop, just tell 'em to get lost and stay there. Bouncing on the furniture is fun!" She held up her hand with a questioning look.
Elsa nodded. Yes, touching my shoulder is fine. Thank you for asking, Anna. Elsa felt Anna trying to pull her by the shoulder over to one of the sofas. "Well…"
"Well, come on!" Anna let go of Elsa and jumped back on the sofa. "It's fun, really!"
Elsa could feel her resolve to not go jumping all over the furniture disappearing. Come to think of it, that did look like fun, even if she was eighteen and kind of too old for such things. Well, just one time can't hurt, right? Elsa climbed on the other end of the sofa, away from Anna. "Well…what are we waiting for?" she asked hesitantly.
"AWESOME! On three…one…two…three!"
Both girls jumped high in the air and bounced again and again, as if they were on a trampoline. Elsa laughed and laughed, and Anna squealed in excitement. After bouncing for awhile, they decided they were tired, and simply flopped on the carpet in the middle of the floor. "Thank you for that, Anna. That was so much fun!" Elsa exclaimed.
"Told ya! Hey, Elsa…can I rebraid your hair? It kinda fell partway out while we were jumping around," Anna said.
Elsa rested her chin in her hands and thought for a moment. "Well…okay, but if I say you have to stop, then you have to get away from me immediately. All right?"
"Ok, cool!" Anna promptly scrambled over to her sister.
Elsa tensed up a little as Anna started undoing what was left of her braid. Calm down, Elsa. It's fine. You aren't going to hurt Anna.
"Good grief, Elsa, you've got a ton of hair! No wonder it always looks so nice," Anna told her.
Elsa shrugged. "I don't know if it's thick or not; it's just…me, I guess, I don't know. I know the color is kind of odd, but that's it."
Anna frowned. "I don't think it's 'odd'. I think it's really pretty and dramatic-looking," she said, continuing to braid her sister's hair.
You thought it was pretty when we were little, too. It's just there to me…I just think it's odd 'cause nobody else in our family I've seen portraits of have hair the same color as mine. I think it's from my powers… Elsa didn't say anything aloud.
"'Kay, all finished," Anna said a moment later. "Elsa, why do you pick on yourself all the time? I wish you could see yourself like I see you. Just a sweet girl who tries to deal with way too much stuff on her own. I still don't know exactly what's bothering you, but it's like…whatever it is has gotten into your head and put a whole bunch of negative thoughts and feelings about yourself there. You need to replace that stuff with positive things or something."
Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead in her crossed arms. Since when did Anna become so smart? She's right, but… "I don't have any positive thoughts or feelings about myself. They disappeared along with naïve eight-year-old me," she whispered. "How can I replace all that negative stuff when I'm completely filled on the inside with it?" she asked a bit wistfully. "I can't. I don't deserve to. I…" Elsa's voice cracked and she didn't try to say anything more. A girl who went and almost killed her sister shouldn't have positive thoughts and feelings about herself. It's wrong. It was an accident, but…
Anna's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Elsa. What happened to her? Why on earth would she think she 'doesn't deserve to' think positive things about herself? That's horrible…Elsa sounded so broken and tired. I've gotta help her somehow. "Elsa, whatever it is, it's gonna be ok. I know it will. I don't care what happened or what you did in the past, you do NOT deserve to feel like this about yourself. If you did something bad in the past, which I highly, highly doubt, you're obviously sorry about it; so therefore you are not any of those rotten names I've heard you call yourself. A monster would not regret his or her actions. So, that is one thing you are most definitely not, no matter what you did that I don't know about," Anna told her. "Is it all right to touch your shoulder right now?"
Elsa nodded ever so slightly and said nothing. Could Anna be right? What she said is logical, but…I STILL HURT HER! And she doesn't even know it. I don't know what's true and what's not anymore. She felt Anna's hand lightly rubbing her shoulder, and wished she could give her sister a hug. No, Elsa, don't you dare. You've let this go way too far already. No hugs. Period. I'm spending time with Anna and that's enough for me. Elsa finally relaxed completely, just feeling content and sleepy now. "Thanks, Anna," she said quietly.
"You're welcome, Elsa." Anna realized her sister was actually relaxed and falling asleep now. Well, I don't know if I helped her think of something good about herself, but at least she's happy right now.
A few minutes later, Elsa was fast asleep. Anna wasn't sure what to do; she knew Elsa would not want to sleep downstairs in the portrait room all night, but she also didn't want to wake Elsa up. Anna waited a few minutes more to make sure Elsa would not wake up before scooping Elsa up in her arms and staggering to her feet. Elsa was by no means heavy, but the two girls were almost the same size, Anna being the slightly shorter of the two, and so Anna had a hard time carrying her sister. Don't wake up, Elsa, please don't wake up.
Finally Anna made it upstairs to her sister's room. She debated on taking Elsa to her own room; then remembered that Elsa would probably be terrified if she woke up and found herself in Anna's room. So Anna gently put her sister down on her bed, pulled the blankets over her, and brushed a stray wisp of platinum hair out of her face. Good night, Elsa. I love you. You deserve better than this, but I don't know what else to do… Anna tiptoed out of Elsa's room and pulled the door not-quite-shut behind her. Just in case if Elsa wakes up, she won't think she's locked in there again.
"Wait! Slow down!" eight-year-old Elsa shouted at her little sister.
Five-year-old Anna didn't seem to hear and kept jumping. Elsa tried to keep up and accidentally hit Anna in the head with an ice blast as she fell. "ANNA!"
"Who, me?" present-time Anna asked.
Little Elsa turned to see now-teenaged Anna. "Who are you? You look like…like Anna! I HURT HER!"
"I'm Anna," present-time Anna said, puzzled. "How did you hurt me? You're just a little girl! And you look like my sister Elsa!"
"I am Elsa!" eight-year-old Elsa exclaimed. "Why are there two Annas?! And I hurt you 'cause of…'cause of…this!" The little girl stretched out a shaky hand holding a snowflake in her palm. "I HIT YOU! I HIT YOU! But it was an accident!" Elsa shrieked. "I swear I didn't do it on purpose!"
Suddenly the older Anna disappeared, and little Elsa was left with unconscious five-year-old Anna. Elsa ran to Anna and hugged her close. "Where did big you go? Big you was alive and everything, so you can't be dead!" Elsa blinked in surprise as older Anna suddenly appeared right in front of her.
"You hit me in the head with ice," older Anna said flatly. "Is that unconscious girl me?"
Eight-year-old Elsa had no idea what to think anymore. Which Anna was real? Anna was supposed to be younger than she was, so unconscious five-year-old Anna must be real. But she wanted older, conscious Anna to be reality. "Are you real?" Elsa asked older Anna.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Suddenly eight-year-old Elsa became her present-day self and five-year-old Anna disappeared. "Why did I grow? What happened?"
"I came back in time to find out what happened to us when we were little. Now I know."
Now eighteen-year-old Elsa stared at her sister in terror, wondering what she would think now that she knew what happened. "It was an accident," she whispered. "I swear I didn't mean it…please don't hate me…please…"
"I don't hate you, Elsa. Anyone could see that was an accident."
Elsa's tear-filled blue eyes stared at Anna. "You d-don't hate me?"
"Nope. I'm…scared of you, though. You have ice powers that can be dangerous," Anna told her.
Elsa glanced down at her gloved hands. I knew it was too good to be true, she thought. She should be scared of me… "That kind of…hurts me on the inside. I know you're right, though. I AM dangerous! HOW CAN YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE I'M DANGEROUS AND NOT HATE ME?!"
"Because it's not your fault," Anna said simply.
"Am I a monster?" Elsa asked hesitantly.
"No, you are not. Dangerous, yes. Monster, no."
"Am I a freak, defective, and abnormal?" Elsa had no idea why she was asking; she just had to know what Anna thought.
Silence.
More silence.
"Please answer!" Elsa begged. "Please!"
Silence.
Silence.
"ANSWER ME PLEASE!" Elsa screamed. "PLEASE!"
Elsa's screaming woke her up. Still shaking, she glanced around at her dark surroundings and finally realized she was in her room. How had she gotten up here? The last thing she remembered was being in the portrait room with Anna. Anna must have carried me upstairs! Why did she do that? Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on her nightstand and looked around her room. My bad dreams usually end up making me leave way more snowy messes than this…not that I'm complaining. Although there was snow all over her bed and a bit on the floor, it hadn't spread over the entire room as it usually did. Elsa had the sudden urge to run down the hall and ask real-life Anna the questions she'd asked dream-Anna. But real-life Anna doesn't know about my problem. She heard a knock on her door and immediately realized her door wasn't even shut all the way. "Don't come in!" she called frantically. Elsa dashed to shut the door, but before she could do so, Anna's hand grabbed her arm and yanked her into the hall. Elsa slammed the door shut behind her. That was close. Anna almost saw that mess in my room.
"That's it, you're coming to MY room now," Anna said firmly, dragging her sister down the hall. "I could hear you screaming from all the way in my room. I'm not letting you deal with nightmares alone."
"But Anna, it's not safe! I can't sleep in there with you!" Elsa had no idea what to do; if she struggled to get away from Anna, she'd probably end up making ice or something through her efforts. So she reluctantly let Anna drag her down the hall.
"All right, you don't have to sleep in my room, but we're going to talk awhile first."
When they arrived in Anna's room, Anna promptly sat Elsa down on her bed. "Now you talk," she demanded. "Then I get to convince you that everything's fine and then and only then will I let you go back to your room."
Elsa looked down at her clasped hands resting in her lap. "Anna, am I…am I a freak, defective, and abnormal?" she blurted. Now why did I say that? WHY DID I SAY THAT?! Anna doesn't even know what my problem is…
"Look at me, Elsa," Anna said firmly.
Elsa wouldn't raise her gaze to meet Anna's eyes.
"Look at me, Elsa." Anna reached a finger toward Elsa and raised her sister's chin toward her. "That's better. Elsa, I don't know what's bothering you or what's making you call yourself those things. But here's the deal: I don't believe in the least that you are ANY of those things, but just for argument's sake, let's say you were. Elsa, I WOULD NOT CARE. You're still my sweet and awesome sister, no matter what negative qualities you might have. I love you, no matter what."
Anna means it. She really, really means it. I should tell her what's wrong with me…I can't…I can't stick Anna with that knowledge. It's selfish on my part. Elsa didn't say anything, but she smiled a little. "Thank…you…Anna…"
"I mean, if we didn't have some bad qualities, we wouldn't be human, right?" Anna asked, grinning. "Look at me! Wouldn't you say I'm impulsive and klutzy and don't think before I do things? I wouldn't call those exactly good qualities, but they're just part of what makes me me. And you're the same…you just have a different personality, so yours are different."
Elsa tilted her head to one side, as if she were considering what Anna had said. "Maybe…" Anna might be right…I hope she is. She covered a yawn with her hand.
"I know I'm right," Anna told her. "I can tell you're sleepy…go to sleep. You're welcome to stay in here if you like!"
"I better not," Elsa said. "Good night, Anna…and thank you." She tiptoed out of Anna's room and shut the door behind her. Halfway back to her own room, she felt the sudden urge to go back to Anna's room. I can't do that. It's not safe. Still, Elsa found her footsteps taking her back to her sister's room. Elsa curled up right outside Anna's door and quickly fell asleep.
The next morning, Anna nearly stepped on Elsa when she opened her door. What's Elsa doing here?! And she usually wakes up first… Anna gently shook Elsa's shoulder. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"
Elsa blinked sleepily up at Anna. "Is it morning?"
"Yeah. Elsa, why did you sleep outside my door all night?! I would have let you in!"
Elsa sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I couldn't…not safe…" She suddenly grew tense all over and jumped to her feet. "Anna-there's a storm coming!" she said, her frightened blue eyes darting to Anna, out a window and back again. Elsa took off at full speed down the hall back to her room, feeling herself becoming jumpy and antsy, which meant it wouldn't take much for her to lose control. Mom and Dad…I hope they're okay!
Anna chased after her. "Elsa, wait up! I'm not gonna make you go down to the lousy old dungeon for telling me that! I believe you!" She knocked on Elsa's door, waiting for an answer.
That's not it. I just don't want to hurt you. Elsa quickly locked her door, glad that it now locked on her side again.
Anna frowned when she heard the lock click. "Please don't shut me out again…"
Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel… Then she began speaking quickly, "Anna, I can't come out right now. It isn't a hurricane or tornado, but I think there are going to be strong winds and lots of rain. Go tell Gerda and Kai to put out buckets and mend leaky spots, please. Okay?"
"All right…Elsa, when are you coming out?"
"When the storm is over," Elsa replied. I hope it doesn't last long…
But it kept raining for the next several days. Elsa was happy that Anna came to talk to her from out in the hall almost all day, every day; but she could tell Anna was getting a bit miffed. I can't blame her. I'd be miffed too. After all, we were together again, and now it's all messed up again. Elsa talked to Anna from inside her room, but it just wasn't the same. By the time the bad weather ended, it was the day their parents were supposed to return. Elsa's mood dropped to her toes. I know I won't get any more time with Anna after they come back. But they didn't show up.
"Elsa, they're obviously not coming tonight," Anna said. "Come on out just for this evening."
Elsa quickly obliged, thinking that she probably would never have any time with Anna again after tonight.
Anna squeezed Elsa's shoulder. "I missed you the last days. I know we still talked together, but it's not the same."
"I agree." Elsa smiled at Anna, and the two of them headed to the dining hall for dinner. "I missed you, too…"
The next afternoon, their parents still hadn't returned. Elsa was growing worried. What had happened? "Anna, I'm certainly in no rush for them to come back since I'm going to lose you again, but I hope something didn't happen to them," Elsa said. What if they got caught in the storm and the boat sank or something? It would be my fault for letting them leave without even attempting to tell them about the storm…
"They're probably just stuck somewhere," Anna said. "Delayed 'cause of the storm or something. Maybe they stayed in Weaseltown till the storm passed," she suggested.
Elsa couldn't help giggling. "It's 'Weselton', Anna. By the way, I think you know this already, but I do not like that duke. He's sneaky and I still think he tries to cheat Arendelle for personal gain." Then her expression turned serious. The thing is, according to my 'storm sense', which I highly, highly hope is wrong, that storm hit Mom's and Dad's ship's path first; then Weselton; before ever reaching Arendelle…which means they should be back by now…
"Then it should definitely be 'Weaseltown'!" Anna smirked.
Elsa forced a smile. "True." I really, really hope nothing happened...
A/N: Ok, Elsa's getting suspicious that something has gone wrong, but neither she nor Anna know for sure yet.
I just had to stick Rapunzel in there!;) I'm going with Rapunzel is cousins with Elsa and Anna.:)
Next chapter coming soon:)
P.S. The next chapter might be T and potential trigger warning. If you'd rather, please feel free to skip to chapter 24. I'll do a quick couple sentence recap of what happened so you still know what happened and stuff.:)