June 25, Wednesday
-:-:-:-:-
To approach, or not to approach?
Mai asked herself this excellent Shakespearean question every two minutes since she left her flat. Two sides of her argued of the pros and cons between each choice, and she thought that both were right. And wrong. She would eventually be won over by one, and be pulled back by the other in no time.
Priorities, Mai! she thought, knocking on her forehead over and over as she stared at the asphalt. You have a Geometry exam today! No distractions!
Bus number 42 turned around the corner and Mai rushed in without concious thought as she was still deliberating against herself. She gave her payment to the operator and felt the world turn around its axis slower as she crossed the length of the aisle and reluctantly pushed herself in the same seat. Despite this pressed reluctance, she had not even considered sitting in another.
To approach, or not to approach?
Mai thought of what good would come to her if she did talk to him. She contemplated it for a long while and ended up with nothing. No conclusion had been drawn. She just wanted to.
However, if she did dare to talk to him, she would only get distracted the whole day. She might just stare blankly at her test paper as she drooled about the boy's husky voice. About the way his lips curved, how the intense blue of his eyes would lock with hers. How he would-
She snapped her eyes shut and counted backwards from ten. She breathed large, even breaths as she enumerated the angles and theories and postulates she had memorized a million times over.
But, she thought, if I ask him about the part I'm having trouble with...
She looked out of the window and was promptly handed an answer by the gods. The outer buildings of her dream university stood tall and proud. Some students were laughing and were having a good time with their friends, while others sucked in coffee as they buried their noses in thick books. Mai's will finally decided to focus on the task at hand. She grabbed her book and scanned through her notes, nausea once again possessing her as the moving vehicle tried to hamper her.
Mai had not always been keen on her studies, but this changed when her mother wheezed out her final wish - that Mai would work hard and take care of herself while she wasn't there to do it for her. Mai went on with life reciting these words to herself after waking up and before going to sleep.
When her mother passed away, Mai had been taken in by her kind teacher. Mai had been very thankful, but she decided to live on her own after a year of patient consideration from her teacher, and infinite gratitude from herself. She could not stand the thought of someone else taking care of her when she already had the ability do that on her own. More so because her teacher had her own family to take care of. She and her husband had a baby only months old, and Mai had constantly been consumed with guilt whenever she came home to them.
Her teacher had not approved of this decision at first. A fifteen year old girl should have someone to look out for her, someone who was always there when she was in trouble. Her teacher said that Mai should not be burdened with such a responsibility while she was still so young.
Ultimately, Mai convinced her teacher that she would be fine. Her parents' apartment had been fully paid for, and she was left with an inheritance that would keep her alive, more or less.
Between depressing thoughts and depressing math, the bus stopped for the third time and the operator called twice. Mai hastily gathered her things and exited without stumbling into any barriers. She wrestled with her umbrella for shelter against the rain and ran to her school. The only time she noticed that something wasn't quite right was when she entered her classroom as the loud school bell pounded against her eardrums.
To approach, or not to approach?
All the mulling she did was for nothing. The boy had not even been present that morning.
Mai slapped herself. Physically, not mentally.
-:-:-:-:-
A/N: If you noticed, I added the dates to keep track and to avoid confusion. I actually made a miscalculation with the schedule of Mai's exams (they should have been held during early July, not late June). Overlook that for me, please? Thanks for reading! And stop jumping to conclusions! Believe what Mai believes ;)