A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)

princessdianaofparadiseisland-Hey, sis! Thanks for the review:)

Fatten Saad-Thanks!:) P.S. I'm going to follow the movie, but focus on Elsa instead of Anna like the movie does. It'll end a few days after the Great Thaw.:) Sorry, no Anna and Kristoff wedding-they aren't married in 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna', which takes place after all of this story in my mind.:P (And besides, I have a feeling Elsa would make Anna wait a looonnng time before any more marriage proposals.;)) Annnddd...I canNOT write any sort of 'mush' properly since I really, really don't like it in the first Maybe Anna could introduce Kristoff to her sister, though...yeah, that sounds good to me.;)

olaf99-Okay, the tornado idea is near the end of this chapter actually.:) It isn't a 'couple days', because hey, tornadoes don't last that long. Anyway, hope you like it!:)

Guest-Lol, I take that as a compliment!:) Thank you for reading my whole story up to this point.

On to the story!:) (And...BTW, the chapter title is not going to make any sense till the very end of this chapter.:P Just saying...:))

On Christmas morning, Elsa was actually excited to get up for the first Christmas since she was eight. I get to have Christmas breakfast with Anna! She pulled on her cranberry red Christmas dress Anna had given her the Christmas Elsa was sixteen, hoping it still fit. It does, good, Elsa thought, looking at herself in the mirror. The dress was ever so slightly shorter than it had been the last time Elsa had it on, but it wasn't enough to make it look too small. Elsa still felt too exposed with her bare shoulders and arms showing, so she found a cloak in her closet and put it on top. There. Now I can still wear my Christmas dress and I won't feel all uncomfortable. She quickly headed out into the hall to find Anna.

"Merry Christmas, Elsa!" Anna shouted as she came racing down the hall.

Elsa dodged out of the way just in time to avoid being knocked to the floor. "Anna, calm down! Why are you being so crazy?"

Anna skidded to a stop. "I am SO not gonna calm down! I'm spending Christmas with my epic awesome big sister this year!" She paused, noticing what Elsa was wearing. "Elsa, you look really nice, but why are you wearing a cloak inside? I know you aren't cold…"

"I just…feel too exposed without it," Elsa said, her face turning red because she thought that explanation was stupid. Now Anna is going to think I'm really dumb. It's not even like I dislike the way it looked or something. No, I just felt too exposed. Stupid…

"Ok, Elsa. The cloak stays on, then. Do you want to go downstairs for breakfast now?" Anna thought Elsa's reasoning was silly, but hey, at least Elsa was willing to come out of her room for Christmas. If she insisted on wearing a cloak over her dress, then far be it for Anna to try to make her do otherwise.

Elsa was glad Anna didn't press the issue. Thank you, Anna. "Merry…Christmas, Anna," she said quietly. I just told Anna merry Christmas face to face! And without feeling all antsy and out of control! Elsa smiled a bit, and the two girls headed downstairs.

After breakfast, Elsa told Anna that she had a present for her. "It's not something you can open, but I hope you like it all the same," she explained. Elsa headed into the castle library with Anna following her. "Your throne awaits," Elsa announced, pointing at the sofa.

Anna giggled and sat down where Elsa had directed her.

"Now, this isn't my song-I found it in our Christmas songbook…but it has a message I need to share with you," Elsa said. She had practiced it for the few days between Anna's birthday and Christmas late at night so Anna wouldn't hear her. I have to do this…for Anna. I just hope I can follow through with what I'm singing. There's a tiny chance I can, right? I can hope, anyways. Elsa clasped her hands behind her back, closed her eyes, and started singing a cappella, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Let your heart be light

Next year all our troubles will be out of sight…

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Make the Yuletide gay

Next year all our troubles will be miles away…

Once again as in olden days, happy golden days of yore

Faithful friends who are near to us will be dear to us once more…

Someday soon we all will be together

If the fates allow

Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow…

So have yourself a merry little Christmas now…" Elsa's wistful voice trailed off into nothing as she opened her eyes and looked over at Anna. "I know it wasn't much, but…but I…but I'm going to try my best to…follow through with that," she said softly, dropping her gaze to the floor. "My best probably isn't good enough, but I'm going to try." I don't know how, but I've made this Christmas better than the last decade's worth. So I'm going to try to fix everything else this coming year, too. It's probably hopeless, but I can try.

Anna had been thinking that song was completely, utterly depressing, even if Elsa was singing it beautifully; but now she realized her sister had pulled a ray of hope out of it. "Next year", "Next year"…Elsa's trying to tell me she's going to try to fix things this coming year. Oh, Elsa. You shouldn't be connecting us to a…a bittersweet song like that. The rotten part is that it fits perfectly. "Well, you sing pretty, Elsa," Anna said finally.

"Did you like the song?" Elsa asked hopefully, a trace of a smile on her face.

"It's a bit…depressing to me," Anna said hesitantly, wanting to tell her sister her true thoughts, but not wanting to make Elsa upset.

Elsa's face fell. I messed up again. "I'm sorry, Anna. I thought…I thought it could be a happy song for us, but I guess not," she whispered. "I suppose my mind is still…messed up to think that…You're probably right. It is depressing." That's all I know how to do…make everything depressing. Now I've made Anna depressed, and she's supposed to be happy today. I tried to start fixing things, but I just ruined everything. Again. "Maybe I'd better go." Elsa turned and ran down the hall to her own room, trying to keep from losing control.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna jumped up from the sofa and chased after her sister, wishing she'd just said something different. I made Elsa feel like she was 'messed up' to think that stupid song could be happy. She thinks she made me upset by singing that… Anna reached Elsa's door just in time to hear the lock click. Not again. "Really, Elsa? Why do you care so much that I didn't think the same way as you about that song? Each of us have a right to our own opinions, you know!"

Elsa just lay on her bed, curled up on her side as silent tears trickled down her cheeks. I know Anna's right; we don't have to think the exact same way, but…I wanted to do something happy for her and I just did something depressing instead. Why do I always do the wrong thing? Every. Single. Time. I wish I didn't exist. No, I'm not leaving. I have Anna and I need to take care of Arendelle. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I can deal with this. I'm NOT giving up. She clapped her hands over her ears, not wanting to hear Anna say anything else right then. I'm sorry for ignoring you, Anna…I just want to be by myself right now. Elsa realized snowflakes were falling around her, and she scrunched her eyes shut, refusing to look at them. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…

Out in the hall, Anna resisted the urge to start yelling. Elsa makes me so mad sometimes! Why can't we just think differently and that's that? I mean, really… The only thing that lets her off the hook is that she's been hurt for so long, so she doesn't react to things like she should. I can't start shouting at her. I'll just make her feel worse. "I'm sitting out here till you're ready to come out," Anna said to the silence.

Elsa finally just cried herself to sleep, even though it was daytime. She had no idea Anna was sitting outside the door waiting for her. By the time she woke up, it was starting to get dark. Elsa blinked sleepily at the window. I slept all day?! I didn't want to do that. And I'm hungry. She debated on going down to the dining hall and finally decided that she would go down there. It was still Christmas, after all, even if it didn't turn out anything like she wanted it to. Elsa sighed and went to open her door. "Anna?!" she asked in surprise. Why is Anna half-asleep outside my door?

Anna immediately jerked completely awake. "Elsa! You came out! What time's it? Why'd you-" She cut her own sentence short. Nope, not gonna ask why she got so upset. Elsa seems at least a little better now… "Elsa, you've been crying," Anna added, noticing Elsa's slightly red eyes and the dried tear tracks on her cheeks.

"It's nothing," Elsa said quickly. How does Anna even know? I know I didn't make any noise. No more stupid emotions. I'm so tired of them. They make me lose control and I hate feeling depressed.

"Elsa, you don't cry over nothing. Will you tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can help you feel better."

"I don't want to talk about it," Elsa replied flatly. "I don't need help. I'm going to be fine." Or as fine as I ever can be, anyways…

"Ooook, then…" Anna was a bit miffed at her sister's sudden apathetic attitude, but she didn't want to chase her away again. "Want to go get some Christmas dinner?" she asked to change the subject.

"Okay."

Anna frowned. Something's different about Elsa, and it's NOT a good different. What's wrong with her? It's like she's turned into…wait a second…I know EXACTLY what she's done. Turned into that hiding feelings, impassive girl she always acted like those few times I saw her with Mom and Dad. "What can I do to make you happy and smile again?"

"You can't do anything. Not unless you can fix me. And I know you can't. So don't worry about it." To anyone who didn't know Elsa, she appeared cold and indifferent, but Anna could easily see by looking at her sister's blue eyes that she was not apathetic about everything; she was hurt, upset, and maybe just a bit angry.

"Elsa, you don't need fixing aside from making you feel better about yourself," Anna said firmly, reaching a hand out to give Elsa's shoulder a comforting squeeze.

Elsa flinched a little, but she didn't otherwise react. Don't feel, don't feel…why is it no matter how many times I say that to myself, it doesn't work? I wish I couldn't feel. Then maybe I wouldn't hurt so much inside all the time no matter what I do. Maybe I'd be able to control my powers. "I shouldn't be able to feel at all in the first place…I'm a monster. Monsters don't feel. Why do I still hurt inside then? I think there's something wrong with me…wait, what was that? No, I know there's something wrong with me…I'm dangerous," Elsa said confusedly, frowning as she stared at her gloved hands. What in the world did I even say just now?

Anna wished Elsa would let her give her a hug, but she was positive she'd just scare Elsa instead. "Elsa, you are not a monster. You just admitted out loud that monsters don't feel and that you do feel…hurt inside. There's nothing wrong with you; you are NOT dangerous," she told her. "Please believe me, Elsa."

"You should just get rid of me…put me in the dungeon or something…I ruin everything…I ruined Christmas again…" Elsa hadn't really heard anything Anna just said. She was just completely lost in her own confusing thoughts.

"WHAT?!" Anna grabbed Elsa's shoulders and started shaking her. "No, Elsa! No one is going to put you in the horrid old dungeon again. You never should have been sent down there in the first place. And just because today didn't turn out exactly perfect does NOT mean you ruined everything!" If anything, I messed up today because I made her upset. I shoulda known telling Elsa her song was 'a bit depressing' was going to make her upset.

"At least I can't…hurt anyone if I'm…chained up in the dungeon," Elsa whispered. She crossed her arms around her middle, feeling like she was close to losing control again. No, Elsa! Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel. "Get away from me, Anna! I don't want to hurt you!"

Anna was just plain horrified. Elsa is so scared of hurting me or someone else that she'd let herself get trapped down there again… "You are NOT getting locked down there again! Elsa, that's unfair to you and it's just plain wrong. Even if you were dangerous, which I don't believe in the least, it isn't right. You cannot stay chained up with those shackles in the dungeon…you're gonna get hurt. I know those stupid things gave you a blister that one time; I saw it. And forget any of that-you're MY sister! My sister does not belong in the castle dungeon! She's Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle, for goodness sakes! You can't in all honesty tell me that you actually want to go down there."

"I'd rather hurt myself than you," Elsa said honestly. I already hurt you once…I don't want to risk doing it again. "If keeping you safe involved me being imprisoned, then so be it. No, I don't want to go down there at all, but if I had to-to keep you safe-I would. Anna…I don't have anything else to live for but you and taking care of my country-which I am sure you could do if you had a bit of help. By myself, just plain me…I'm n-nothing…Nothing but a d-defective freak…our parents didn't want me. I was just a…a bother, something they kept around and dealt with because I couldn't be gotten rid of. Why would anyone else ever want me around, and why should they? I just…Anna, how can you still care about me?! I ruined your childhood; it's my fault you can't go outside the castle gates! All I ever do is mess up things! I hate myself…I wish I didn't exist at all…except I know you'd be upset for some inexplicable reason. Anna, I'm…I…oh, I don't know; I sound stupid and pathetic, probably. I'm sor-" Elsa's tears finally overflowed and began streaming down her cheeks, despite her very best efforts to keep them in check. Conceal! Don't feel! You're going to start making it snow or something!

Elsa wishes she didn't exist?! Over a year has gone by…I thought Elsa was better now. And how could Mom and Dad treat her like that?! And WHY?! Anna caught her sister's arm just as she started to retreat back into her room. "No, Elsa, wait. I still care about you because you're my sister. Because you never should have been treated like that, and I hate seeing you hurting like this, so I want to help you feel better. How about just because I missed you tons for all this time and I want to help get us back like we were when we were five and eight? Besides, 'just plain you', just plain Elsa, is a nice person to have around. She's thoughtful. She has a good sense of humor. She has an underused mischievous streak. She loves her sister. And a whole bunch of other things." She paused before asking hesitantly, "Have you been getting the icky depressing thoughts again, Elsa?"

"I'm not going to try that again, Anna. I promise," Elsa told her firmly. I mean it. I will not try that again.

Anna frowned. "You didn't answer my question. I didn't ask if you were going to follow through with it; I asked if you had been getting those kind of thoughts again. Elsa, please tell me. I promise I'm not going to guilt trip you or make you feel ashamed about it or something if you have. I just want you to tell me so if we need to, we'll try to get you feeling better again and make the thoughts go away."

Elsa gave one slow nod. I've gotten the thoughts again, but I do NOT intend to do anything. I won't. I'm not leaving Anna.

"That's what I thought. When's the last time it happened?" Anna asked. At least Elsa doesn't really, actually want to follow through with it…That's good, right?

"Earlier today…Anna, I really don't want to talk about this. It's embarrassing! I hate thinking like that, but I don't know how to stop…" Elsa's voice trailed off. Why am I telling Anna this? I don't have to tell her if I don't want to…I know I should, but…

Ok, Elsa wants to stop thinking like that anyways. That's better than before. I just wish I knew how to help her! I'm only three years younger than she is…I'm a teenage girl, just like Elsa. Well, I guess I'll just have to do my best. "Elsa, don't be embarrassed. It's not your fault. At least you want it to stop. That's good, isn't it?" Anna gave her sister a smile.

Elsa made a face. "I should be able to control my own thoughts! It just comes out of nowhere before I can stop it. I'm just…just, I don't know…"

Anna bit her lip, wondering what to say. "What were you thinking earlier today exactly? Maybe we can figure out why it happened or something."

"It was…right after I ran to my room this morning…" Come on, Elsa, just tell your sister. She's trying to help you. Even if it is probably useless. Elsa sighed and added, " 'Why do I always do the wrong thing? Every. Single Time. I wish I didn't exist. No, I'm not leaving. I have Anna and I need to take care of Arendelle. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I can deal with this. I'm not giving up.'" Elsa stared down at the floor, not wanting to meet her sister's eyes.

That was because of the whole song thing this morning… "It sounds like you got rid of the thoughts pretty quickly. Really quickly, actually. That's good, Elsa. I think maybe…maybe you just need a friend to talk to. Will you let me be that friend?" Anna asked. "Look, I don't know exactly how to help you, but I'm not letting you deal with this alone. I won't. Will you let me be that friend?" she repeated.

Elsa finally started to smile a bit before her expression grew sad again. I know Anna is telling the truth…but why would she be willing to try to help me? I never did anything for her. Wait…if Anna wants to help me, I should let her. I just need to stay away whenever I feel like I'm getting out of control, whether it's an hour a day or twenty-four seven. "Y-yes…just please…if I disappear into my room, please don't fuss at me to come out…I understand why you do that, but I…I can't take it. I know I need help, but…I can't risk hurting you." Please understand Anna…please…

"I promise I will not fuss at you to come out, but I do NOT promise to listen to you if you tell me to 'go away'. All right? Sister pact, Elsa?" Anna held out her hand, inviting her sister to shake it.

Elsa clasped her hands together close against her chest and shook her head. "I can't touch you, Anna. You know that."

"Yes, you can. You just need to get un-convinced that you can't. I promise I don't have cooties! Ok, forget shaking hands…sister pact anyways?" Anna asked.

Elsa smiled a tiny bit and nodded. "Sister pact anyways," she whispered.

As the next several months passed, the two sisters stuck to their little pact they had made Christmas evening. Some days Elsa managed to stay outside her room with Anna all day long, but more often than not, she retreated back into the dreaded safe haven of her room, not wanting to risk hurting her little sister. Anna kept her promise. She did not fuss at Elsa trying to get her to come out when that happened, but she also refused to leave when her sister told her to go away. "Elsa, I promised I wouldn't fuss at you to come out, not that I would listen when you tell me to go away. I'm right here for you when you're ready," Anna said more than once.

Whenever the 'icky depressing thoughts', as Anna called them, started bothering Elsa, Elsa made a point to either tell Anna out loud if they were face to face, or push a note under her door if she was in her room. "It's happening again," became their code phrase. It seemed that any random little thing could set Elsa off, and it drove her crazy just as much as it did Anna.

"Anna, why doesn't it stop entirely?!" Elsa asked in exasperation one spring morning from behind her locked door. "You know what, I think I'm not going to think about it. Period. Maybe refusing to think about it will make it go away."

"That just makes it go away temporarily, Elsa. It happens way less often now," Anna encouraged. "So therefore talking about it must help some." She heard a sigh and a quiet thump as her sister evidently plopped down on the floor leaning against the door. We've gotten rid of the icky thoughts quite a bit, but she also retreats into her room far more often now. That doesn't add up. I wonder why…

Elsa's decision that she would just stay away whenever she felt like she was getting out of control was the reason that she retreated into her room more often now as spring turned into summer. She could somehow feel that her powers were still growing stronger at an alarmingly fast rate. The same low level of upset that once caused her to simply frost the floor under her a little now made her ice over the entire floor of her room. It's only a matter of time before the ice starts spreading out into the hallway. I'm going to be TWENTY in a few days. Are my powers going to just keep growing and growing in strength all my life?! I mean…I'm not growing anymore. The same dresses I had four years ago still fit me.

One night Elsa was horrified to wake up from a nightmare, only to find herself shooting ice at the far wall, the rest of the floor a smooth sheet of ice. Elsa sat up in bed, breathing hard and holding her hands against her chest. I just shot ice at the wall…with my gloves on. Great. Just great. What else can go wrong? She flopped down on her stomach and sobbed into her pillow, hoping no one, least of all Anna, would hear her or check on her. Conceal! Don't feel! Quit crying, Elsa! What am I supposed to do now?! The one thing that I thought helped stop my powers from manifesting just completely, utterly failed. Elsa turned over onto her back and held her hands in front of her face, staring at them in disgust. What am I going to do? She couldn't even try temporarily purging her powers out of herself as she had when she was sixteen; somehow she was positive she'd have to freeze a lot more than just her room to do such a thing. Not to mention she couldn't be ill; she had a kingdom to take care of. I need something else to put on my hands, something stronger. Elsa briefly considered sending her own self to the dungeon, thinking those horrid metal shackles would most definitely contain her powers; but the thought repulsed her something awful, and she couldn't take care of political papers and such if she was chained up down there.

Besides, what reason could I give Anna for doing such a thing? I'm just going to have to figure out something else. Maybe Gerda could make me some gloves out of some thicker fabric. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. Now that she finally had a solution, Elsa pulled the covers over her head and managed to fall back asleep.

Very early the next morning before breakfast, Elsa tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen, hoping Gerda was there cooking breakfast. "Gerda? May I ask a favor, please?" she asked.

Gerda finished putting the bowls away in the cupboard and turned to Elsa. "You do know you can give orders, princess. How can I help you so early in the morning?"

I know, but I don't like doing that unless I have to. "I…froze my room last night, and, well, I woke up shooting ice all over the wall. With my gloves on…I was wondering if you could maybe make some new ones out of thicker fabric? Please?" Elsa paused before adding in a quiet voice, "I really, really don't want to be…chained up in the dungeon again."

"Why on earth would you think you would have to go to the dungeon, princess? Nobody can make you go down there."

Elsa started shifting her weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Because…because those horrid old shackles would definitely contain my powers, that's why," she blurted. "If my parents thought I belonged down there those two times, I probably definitely belong down there now. My powers are stronger than they were then…a-and I'm no closer to controlling it than I was then, either."

"Princess Elsa, pardon me for saying so, but stop talking that nonsense right now," Gerda said firmly. "You don't belong in the dungeon now; you never did. Your parents should not have put you down there. Why were you down there, princess? Can you tell me again?"

Why? It was years ago, now. They were probably right… "The first time…because I let Anna give me a hug even though I knew I shouldn't when we were all in the cellar, and there wasn't any other safe place for me to go during the hurricane. The second time…I gave a storm warning about that tornado, and…and they thought I was making it myself. But I wasn't! I really wasn't!" Elsa frowned. I think the first time it was fair, but the second time it was most definitely not.

"Just remember that, princess. Those reasons were not fair to you at all," Gerda told her, knowing Elsa had at least decided that the second time wasn't fair.

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back and asked, "About the gloves? Please? I need something different, because the ones I have don't work anymore, evidently…"

"Of course, Princess Elsa. Can you make it till this evening?"

"I hope so…I'll just stay in my room all day." That way, if I make another mistake, it won't matter so much. "Thank you, Gerda." Elsa started to turn and head back upstairs when Gerda asked if she wanted to take some chocolate chip pancakes with her. Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I love chocolate chip pancakes. "Yes, please."

Gerda handed her a plate of hot pancakes. "Careful, don't burn yourself, princess."

I can't feel temperatures, but thanks for the warning. Elsa gave Gerda a small smile before going back upstairs to her room. She sat down at her desk and took a long sniff. Well, I may not be able to tell whether they're hot or cold, but they still smell good. Good enough. They taste good, too.

"Thank you, Gerda," Elsa said gratefully that evening as she quickly pulled the new gloves on her hands. "They're even a shade of my favorite color. Maybe I won't hate wearing gloves all the time anymore," she added a bit ruefully. I mean, I got used to it long ago, but I still don't like it.

"Yes, I know you like blue. Every time I see you, you're wearing a blue dress of some sort," Gerda replied, smiling at Elsa. "Princess, just remember no one is going to punish you for taking them off. If you wake up one morning and want to throw them away, then do it. You shouldn't be trying to suppress part of who you are, Princess Elsa."

Elsa's expression grew determined as she clasped her hands together in front of her. "I will not risk hurting Anna again, or anyone else." I won't. I don't even want my powers to be 'part of who I am'. I hate being unsafe for my own sister to be around. "Thank you for making them so quickly."

Gerda knew the repeated thank-you was Elsa's polite way of saying Leave me alone now, please. "Good night, Princess Elsa."

The second Gerda left the room, Elsa locked the door before getting ready for bed. Well, hopefully I won't wake up shooting ice all over the place again. Elsa had already decided that her new gloves might look pretty, but they also muffled further her already-constrained sense of touch. If she wasn't looking directly at whatever she was holding, she would have no idea what the item was. This. Is. Driving. Me. Crazy. Already she had knocked a book off her nightstand and nearly tipped over the kerosene lamp. Okay, Elsa, you just need to get used to it, like you did when you were little originally. Don't touch anything without looking at what it is first and you'll be fine. At least if they feel this much different to me, they'll be enough to keep me from making an icy mess all over the place while I'm sleeping. Comforted with that thought, Elsa quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, Elsa was very happy to find that she hadn't made another icy mess everywhere. They work perfectly. Good. These might drive me crazy, but if they're going to keep me from losing control again, then I'm happy. Elsa's next thought was There's a tornado coming again. There was just one odd issue with that prediction.

It was a hundred percent sunny and clear outside. No one but Elsa would ever suspect that there was a tornado coming.

So why am I so sure there's one coming?! It's not even a bit cloudy. Elsa frowned as she stared out her window. Four days. In the afternoon. It's going to…touch down in the castle courtyard before 'jumping' over to the dock and zigzag out into the fjord before dissolving. Elsa could almost "see" the upcoming tornado playing out in her head, confusing and disconcerting her. What is going on? Am I just daydreaming? Why would I be daydreaming about a tornado? That doesn't make any sense…unless I am not daydreaming. She bit her lip, resenting this new development. Watching upcoming storms play out in her head was not an ability she wanted. Although it means I can easily warn everyone. Elsa pressed her hand against her upset stomach, hoping she wasn't going to throw up. Great, just great. That stupid storm sense is making me feel sick to my stomach again, worse than before too.

Anna knocked on her door a few minutes later. "Elsa, you want to come down for breakfast today?" she asked hopefully. She asked Elsa that every morning, even though her sister said no thank you about nine times out of ten.

Breakfast? Maybe if I eat a little something for breakfast in the dining hall with Anna I'll feel better. "I feel a little sick to my stomach, so I might have to leave…But I'll come down," Elsa answered, opening the door and stepping out into the hall with her sister.

"Are you getting sick?" Anna asked as they started heading downstairs. "Maybe you oughta lie down or something."

Elsa sighed. "I'm not sick…Remember my 'storm sense' thing? There's a tornado coming in four days and…I think it's making my stomach upset," she explained. "At least I can warn someone this time and they'll believe me." Elsa didn't add that the tornado had literally played out in her head because if it freaked her own self out, it was sure to scare Anna too.

"I believe you, Elsa. I'm sure Gerda and Kai will believe you too. You've been right every time you mentioned anything storm sense-y to me," Anna assured her. "Hey, are those new?" she asked, pointing at her sister's gloves.

Elsa frowned and clasped her hands behind her back, out of sight. "Yes. I…messed up my other ones." This was true; she had ruined the ones she was wearing when she'd shot ice all over the wall by accident, but she also had several other identical pairs in her dresser that were now useless.

"Those are prettier than your others. Can I see them again?"

Yeah, prettier, but also doubly annoying. "I guess so. As long as you don't touch me," Elsa said, holding one hand out so Anna could see it.

"I'm gonna ask Gerda to make ones like that for me for this winter," Anna announced.

Elsa made a face. "You're a copycat, and you don't want the exact same ones." Anna is crazy. Why would she want to copy that from me, of all things? She's lucky she doesn't have to wear the things all the time, if you ask me.

"Yes I do. 'Cause I want to have something that's the same as what you have. I want to be like you!"

Elsa suddenly turned and darted back into her room. No you don't. You don't want to have something that's the same as what I have. I'd never wish my problems on you…or anyone, for that matter. She slid down on the floor, leaning against the locked door.

"Elsa, what did I say?! I'm sorry for whatever it was! I thought we were gonna have breakfast together!" Anna was very confused as she knocked on Elsa's door again.

Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel… Elsa took a deep breath before replying. "You don't need to apologize, Anna. Just…trust me, you do not want to be like me. Go on downstairs to breakfast and make sure you tell Gerda about the tornado, okay? I can't come out right now."

"I'll tell Gerda about the tornado; I promise. What are you going to eat?"

"I have some apples and other stuff in here. Don't worry; I won't starve." Elsa's voice had an ever so slight touch of dry humor.

"Ok, Elsa…I'll be back right after breakfast, ok?"

Elsa nodded, forgetting that Anna could not see her. I am so stupid sometimes… "Okay, Anna."

Over the next three days, Elsa began feeling more and more agitated and sick inside. That stupid tornado. I hate this. The good thing was that at least Anna had told her that Gerda had believed the warning, so precautions were set in place. And I didn't get sent to the dungeon, Elsa thought, forgetting right then that no one in Arendelle had the authority to make her do that anyway. The cellar was stocked with food; Elsa had carried a few books down there so she could maybe read one with her sister.

Late that night, Elsa found herself running into the bathroom, just knowing she was going to throw up. That sensation of a storm swirling inside her had only intensified the closer the time came for the tornado. The second she felt her tummy was emptied of its contents, she quickly pulled out the bucket under the sink and filled with water before slipping her gloves off and splashing the water on her face. I HATE throwing up. It's so disgusting. A second later, the water in the bucket became solid ice and Elsa resisted the urge to scream. Seriously?! I just wanted to wash my face. Good grief. Elsa flipped the bucket over and managed to dump the ice into the bathtub, where the single block shattered into hundreds of pieces. Go ahead and shatter. See if I care. She refilled the bucket with more water, only to have the same thing happen again. And again. "WHY?! I JUST WANT FIVE MINUTES, OKAY?!" Elsa shouted at the ice.

A second later, she heard a familiar knock on her door and Anna's voice say, "Elsa, I heard you shouting. Are you all right?"

Elsa sighed and stumbled over to her door. "It wasn't a nightmare this time, if that's what you mean. Will you get Gerda, please?"

"I can help you!" Anna said eagerly. "What do you need?"

Elsa bit her lip, her eyes flicking from the ice in the dimly lit bathroom to the door and back again. I could let Anna in…but what about my problem? Not right now. "Nothing, never mind…I'm okay," she answered finally.

"What did you want me to get Gerda for then?"

"I threw up, okay?! And I kind of…made a mess," Elsa replied, wincing at the icky misleading comment she'd just said. I "only" made a mess with ice…not what Anna is going to think.

"I can help you clean it up. I hate barf, but I'll help you anyway, Elsa, 'cause you're my sister."

Elsa couldn't let Anna think that any longer. "It's not a barf mess, Anna…just let me be. Go back to sleep. I'll see you in the cellar tomorrow afternoon during the tornado, okay?"

"Did you break something then?"

"In a way…" Elsa eyed the shattered ice in the bathroom. "Go. To. Bed. Please." I can deal with this myself.

"I'll help you fix it," Anna said hopefully.

"You can't, Anna. Just go away!" Elsa was simultaneously relieved and sad when she heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. I probably just made Anna really upset. Why was I so mean to her?

The next afternoon after lunch, Elsa and Anna settled themselves in the cellar. "What time is the tornado coming?" Anna asked.

"I don't know exactly. Around two o'clock, I think," Elsa told her, slightly hurt at Anna's neutral tone. Serves you right, Elsa. You do that to her all the time. Anna's probably upset because of the way you acted last night. "Did Gerda open all the windows?"

"I thought that was a myth, opening all the windows right before a tornado to equalize pressure."

"It's one of those things that's 'most likely a myth'. Since we have the warning long ahead of time, it's not like we're risking our safety for something that probably doesn't work. Let me go check. I'll be right back." Elsa scrambled up the ladder out of the cellar and went to check the windows. After checking all the windows, she stepped outside into the courtyard to confirm her nagging feeling that the air pressure was dropping fast outside. Elsa immediately darted back inside, clapping her hands over her ears. It's most definitely dropping. Really, really fast. That tornado is coming very soon.

"They're all open," Elsa announced as she climbed back down the ladder. "And the air pressure is dropping…so fast," she added. Elsa plopped down on the floor in the corner and curled into a ball, feeling sick. That tornado better come and go soon. I didn't feel this bad last time there was a tornado. At least I don't feel all out of control…I'm too concentrated on this stupid storm.

"You ok, Elsa?" Anna asked. "I'm sorry I sounded a bit mad at you earlier…I know you didn't feel good last night."

Why is she apologizing to me? "I'm okay." Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and clapped her hands over her ears again. It hurt every time the air pressure dropped more. Stop it, stop it, stop it! This is driving me crazy. I'm not even doing anything!

"Elsa, what's going on?! You are not either ok!" Anna scrambled over to her sister and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Has it got something to do with the storm?

Elsa opened her eyes and looked at her sister. "It's the storm…it hurts as the air pressure drops…you are officially allowed to say I'm weird now." Now why did I tell Anna that?! NOBODY is this affected by storms, let alone be able to predict them like I do.

"You aren't weird, Elsa. If you weren't able to predict storms like you do, we might have been in danger when the tornado came and we were caught unawares. Come on, why don't you lay down for awhile? It might make your tummy feel better," Anna said, noticing the way her sister was pressing one hand against her stomach.

Elsa didn't object as Anna brought a rolled-up blanket to use as a pillow and another blanket to put on top of her. How did Anna know I had an upset tummy? "Thank you, Anna…" I should tell Anna what's really wrong with me. Why I can predict storms in the first place. It's just…what if she hates me? Or she's scared of me? I don't know what I would do if I lost her again.

"Better now?" Anna asked. "At least maybe a little bit?"

Elsa nodded and smiled at Anna a bit.

"Elsa, where do you think your storm sense came from?" Anna asked suddenly. "It seems more…I don't know…more exacting than a couple years ago. And it didn't make you feel sick before, either."

You don't want to know. I should tell you, though. 'I'm sorry; I have ice powers I can't control. That's why I wear gloves all the time and it's where the storm sense came from.' Yeah, right. Elsa wrestled with herself for a minute, wondering what she should say. Tell her, Elsa. She deserves to know. "I'm sorry…I…I have ice…p-" I can't do it. Why am I such a chicken? A selfish chicken at that. I'm scared of what Anna will think of me if I tell her. She might have figured it out from that for all I know. Elsa covered her face with her hands and didn't say anything else.

Anna was puzzled. What is it that Elsa doesn't want to say? Ice p-what? "You're…sorry you have an icy…personality? Is that what you meant? 'Cause that's the only word that starts with 'p' that I can think of that makes even remote sense. You don't have an icy personality, Elsa. You are friendly; you're just kind of…withdrawn. And reserved. That's not the same thing."

Elsa was so relieved Anna hadn't figured out her-in her opinion awful-secret that she didn't try to correct Anna's line of thought. I still should tell her. Maybe I can try again another time.

"Elsa, d'you want to play a game?" Anna asked after a long minute.

"I do as long as I don't have to get up to play it," Elsa replied, giving her sister a tiny smile. "I still don't feel very well."

"Let's play Coronation Day! I'll act everything out, and you can just watch!" Anna announced. To Anna's surprise, Elsa just frowned and bit her lip, looking as if she were about to cry. "What's wrong with that?" she asked. "We'll get to open the gates and everything!"

Elsa couldn't hold it in any longer. "Anna, I'm terrified of just the thought of having that coronation in…what is it, ten months now? I'm not good around people…I can barely talk to you without stuttering or pausing to figure out what I want to say. What if I do something stupid? Or mess up something? Insult some dignitary by accident? There are about a million different things that could go wrong…" And the worst one is revealing my powers to someone by accident. I'll be ousted from the throne for that or something. Anna isn't ready to be queen; she doesn't even want to be.

"Doing something stupid is my job, Elsa!" Anna grinned and gave Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "What on earth are you going to do that's so bad? Drop the orb and stick thingie at the ceremony? You'll be fine."

"It's a scepter, Anna!" Elsa giggled at that; then realized something else horrible. Do I have to take off my gloves for that part of the ceremony?! I won't drop the orb and scepter, but I might freeze them…great, another thing to worry about.

"What's wrong? You were giggling a second ago…"

"DoIhavetotakeoffmyglovestoholdtheorbandscepter?" Elsa asked all in a rush. Say no, please say no…

Anna frowned. "I have no idea, Elsa. I'd have thought you researched every itty bitty thing already."

"That wasn't exactly something I'd thought of. I've been more worried about interacting with our guests at the party after the ceremony, honestly," Elsa said. "I mean, I'm-"

"A PARTY?!" Anna exclaimed. "Ooh, awesome! We're gonna open the gates AND have a party! This sounds better and better all the time!"

Elsa sighed. Anna is crazy. Why on earth would she want to hang around a bunch of strangers and blather at them all day and all night? I don't think I'd like that very much even if I didn't even have the ice problem. Wait…she probably wants to have a party so she can talk to people who aren't all full of problems and messed up and withdrawn like me. Besides, Anna has always been more sociable than me, even when we were little. I can't begrudge her that. "If it's exciting to you…I guess that's good," she said slowly.

Anna's mind was off flying at warp speed, thinking how she could maybe meet some new people from outside the castle at the party and, "Hey, once you become queen, we CAN keep the gates open! It'll be so cool! We can really do whatever we want, and-"

"No," Elsa said quietly, firmly. "No. The gates will be open for that one day. Twenty-four hours. No more." Elsa felt horrible shooting down her sister's hopes, but that was something Elsa had decided awhile ago. One day was bad enough. She couldn't deal with guests coming in and out of the castle all the time. Conceal, don't feel. I had to tell Anna. It'd be even worse if she found out ten months from now. She needed to know.

Anna jumped to her feet in surprise. "Wait, what?! Why?! I've been thinking all this time that once you officially became queen everything might get fixed but now I know it won't. Why can't we have open gates?!" She felt bad for ranting at her sister when she knew Elsa didn't feel well, but she was mad. Anna had been counting on that! And Elsa had to go and mess it up.

"We just can't. I'm defective, dangerous and messed up…I cannot have guests in the castle," Elsa replied flatly. Anna, please try to understand. Please.

"I don't know what you think is messed up about you, but you know what I know is messed up about you?!"

Elsa just stared with wide eyes at her sister, afraid of what she was going to say next. I pushed her over the edge. That was the last straw for Anna. That stupid open gates thing was really important to her.

"It's messed up to not want to have a party! It's messed up for not wanting to open the gates when it's been like this for years and years! It's messed up to shut yourself away all the time! And-" Anna was completely oblivious to Elsa's hidden reactions. "And you don't know what it's been like for me!"

Elsa had been on the verge of tears that she refused to allow to fall, but now she was just starting to feel downright angry. I might be messed up; I know I am, but Anna has no right to say I don't know what it's been like for her. I know better than anyone. That isn't fair. She jumped to her feet, upset stomach forgotten. "No, you don't understand what I've been through! Do you know what it's like to keep trying…and trying…and trying to fix things-your very, very best efforts, mind you-and it's never, never good enough, no matter what you do? What it's like to be a failure every single day of your life, hating yourself…a-and scared of hurting the person who used to be your very best friend? Missing your little sister terribly all that time? What it's like being physically locked in your r-room for years on end by your own parents? Being chained in the d-dungeon for giving the warning about a storm? Having your parents die in a storm you knew was c-coming that you didn't warn them about, knowing their death was partly your fault, even if they wouldn't have believed you if you had g-given the warning? I TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE, ANNA!" Elsa figuratively froze for a moment, realizing she had just shouted the dreaded word she and Anna had purposely avoided using regarding that subject. "Whatever was bad for you, it was probably ten times worse for me." At least you aren't a defective freak, Anna. "You know nothing about what this has been like for me. Absolutely nothing," she whispered fiercely. Elsa's lower lip quivered, but she refused to cry. She wouldn't. Not now.

"You might think I know nothing about it, but you're wrong. You've been in the same position I have for all that time."

"Right. Everything I just said happened to you, too," Elsa deadpanned, crossing her arms. This time she wasn't hugging herself; she was just mad. "You made a huge mess in your room after the funeral and tried to commit s-"

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT TRYING TO SHOCK ME?!" Anna interrupted. "I was there! I know what happened! Do you know what it was like, knowing what your big sister was doing and unable to get in her room to help?!"

Elsa shook her head mutely.

"It was awful! What if I'd lost you?! Realized what you were doing too late? I was terrified, Elsa! Terrified I was going to lose my big sister! You didn't just hurt yourself that day. You hurt me too!" Suddenly struck by another thought, she added, "Have you got a scar on your wrist? Maybe that's why you still wear your gloves all the time."

Elsa thought Anna looked a bit concerned in the midst of her angry ranting, so she lied. "No, I don't." There was a tiny pink line, barely noticeable, on Elsa's wrist as a reminder of that day, but it was always covered up by her dress sleeves or her gloves or both. No one would ever see it.

"Then why do you wear them all the time?! Have you got a thing about dirt?"

Elsa suddenly realized the tornado was over. She could feel it. "I'm going upstairs. I'm done with this argument." She needed to get away; she felt like she was about to explode. Hold it together for just a few more minutes, Elsa. You can do it. Elsa scrambled up the ladder and ran upstairs to her room, away from Anna, away from that horrible argument.

"You're too chicken to finish discussing this!" she heard Anna shout from behind her. "We need to talk about the gates some more! I need to convince you to keep 'em open!"

Elsa ignored her. No, we do not. I'm not explaining myself again. The gates are staying shut after that stupid party and that's that. So there.

When Elsa went to bed that night, her room was filled with a foot of snow over the entire floor. Icicles dangled precariously from the ceiling. Those horrid old things better not fall on me. I am not in the mood. She pounded on her pillows, remembering Anna telling her to beat up on something soft if she became angry enough to hit something. And I wish I didn't have to have that coronation. I just know I'm going to mess something up. I just know it.

A/N: Um...that happened.:/ I tried to make both Elsa's and Anna's arguments about the 'You don't understand!' thing both understandable...please let me know what you think.:)

I've started the next chapter, but I'm not sure exactly where it will end; so we might reach Coronation Day in the next chapter, we might not...I don't know yet.:P

Next chapter coming soon!:)