A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
WarriorQueen 14-Thank you.:) It seems like Elsa is completely stuck in whatever rotten thoughts she's having and not hearing Anna at all.:/ Yep, I actually did do that on purpose.:P I think Marshmallow isn't a mean character; he just gets really protective of Elsa and her ice palace. I didn't want Elsa pacing back and forth saying 'conceal, don't feel' to herself all night...so yeah, Marshmallow tried to make her feel better.:)
bananas-rule-2015-Yeah, I wanted Marshmallow to have some actual personality besides 'GO AWAY!' So he got to try to make Elsa feel better.:) Lol, Elsa really did need to find food if she was going to stay up there much longer...;)
Fatten Saad-Thanks!:)
1234-Lol, thanks:)
BellaCullen931-Thanks to you, too!:)
Guest-Thank you:) Those painful memories that were bothering Elsa in that scene are all things that happened earlier in the story...that's where they came from.:P P.S. Thanks!;)
Lindstrom-Elsa seriously needs a hug...except she won't let anyone do that except Marshmallow.:/ And thanks:)
olaf99-Lol, that's true! XD
On to the story!:)
It was still dark outside the next morning when Marshmallow, who had disguised himself as a simple mound of snow, heard voices close nearby.
"We are here to find Princess Anna. Be on guard, but no harm is to come to the queen," Marshmallow heard a man say.
Marshmallow heard muttered replies, and decided that he should get these intruders away from Elsa and her home immediately. There was no need for these people to 'be on guard' around Elsa. Elsa wasn't going to do anything to them. "GO AWAY!" Marshmallow bellowed, slamming one icy fist on the ground, then the other.
Inside the palace, Elsa jerked awake at the sound of some sort of commotion outside. She rubbed her eyes and ran downstairs. What is going on?! It's barely light outside at all yet… Elsa opened the main entrance double doors a crack and immediately wished she hadn't. Why is Prince Hans here?! With a group of Arendelle guards? And wait…those two guards belong to the Duke of Weselton…oh no. They're after me! Why are they here?! Elsa's eyes widened when she realized the two Weselton guards were charging up the steps toward her. Elsa dropped the doors shut and started running upstairs. Too late, she realized she should have just frozen the doors shut. They already got in. It's too late now!
Elsa's heart pounded as she turned to face the two thugs in the main room upstairs. I'm trapped! There's nowhere for me to go! The two intruders raised their crossbows. "No…please!" she pleaded, holding up her hands. Please don't shoot me…I might not have anything to live for, really, but I know I don't want to die like this! Please leave me alone! I didn't attack you. Elsa instinctively shielded her face with her arms as an arrow whistled straight for her. A moment of bracing for the what was sure to be painful impact, and then…nothing. I'm…not dead? Elsa opened her squeezed-shut eyes to see the arrow frozen in an ice wall inches from her face. She jerked backwards and gasped. They want to kill me. They tried to kill me. And my powers…just somehow knew to help me? My ice can stop a crossbow shot? She hadn't purposely made that ice barrier; it just happened on nothing but subconscious instinct.
Wait…I'm not completely helpless…am I? I don't want to kill them, even if they did try to do the same to me. But isn't it okay to try to defend yourself if someone attacks you first? Maybe I can chase them away without hurting them… "Stay away!" Elsa shouted, shooting a defensive ice blast that sent the two thugs tumbling head over heels. Leave! Please leave! I don't want to hurt you, but you invaded my home and you're trying to kill me. Leave me alone!
Elsa shot ice again and again, deflecting the attacks, but the intruders would not leave. I am…not helpless. I can defend myself. You think I'm just a damsel in distress, except you want to kill her instead of rescue her. Except you won't! I'm going to save myself! You attacked me for no reason! I did nothing to you! I told you to leave me alone! Get out of my castle! This is my place! And if you kill me, there will be no way to thaw Arendelle EVER! I don't know how, but I do know that nothing but me can ever fix it…if I could figure out how…AND GET OUT OF MY HOME! Elsa's fear and anguish at the thought of fighting with her powers was quickly morphing into anger. She had not provoked those guards. They just barged into her icy fortress and tried to assassinate her. I told you to go away!
Elsa's blue eyes darted from one side to the other as the two intruders circled her. You think you have me cornered because there's two of you and one of me. Well, take that! Instantly one man was pinned against the wall with several sharp icicles, one moving very close to his throat. Keeping one hand out to control the icicles, she quickly formed two ice walls on either side of the second guard, disarming him in the process. If I'm going to die, I want to die on my terms, not yours. So there. You will not invade my place again! Wait…Elsa…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Are you about to hurt these people?!
They invaded my fortress! They asked for it! They tried to kill me! I have the right to defend myself! Elsa hesitated for a millisecond before forming a third wall and sliding it across the floor, a strong stream of magic pushing that guard out onto the balcony. The icy floor had darkened to a murky color, and the walls were an angry amber yellow. Elsa didn't care.
Elsa's beautiful doors leading out to the balcony snapped off their icy hinges, shattering the railing outside. How dare you come in here and ruin my home! I am the Snow Queen! You think I'm a monster and I don't care. You don't define me! Maybe I am a monster. And you invaded my fortress of refuge! This is my place! Get out! I have the right to do what I want to you-you think I'm the one causing all the trouble anyway…I DON'T CARE! It's not fair; it's not, it's not! My parents hated me, so why shouldn't everyone else? I may as well give them a reason to. GET OUT OF MY HOME! With all her strength, Elsa forced the ice wall almost to the edge of the balcony, nearly sending the man plummeting into the chasm below.
Only one tiny thing far in the back of her mind kept Elsa from simply impaling the one man and sending the other off the balcony without any qualms. Anna…she wouldn't want me to kill people. But what does it matter? I'm already dangerous. I'm already defective. Why not just embrace that? I can never change. Elsa's expression hardened as she prepared to just finish them off.
They had attacked her.
They invaded her home.
She could never change anyway. Why shouldn't she just be the thing everyone thought she was? It didn't matter.
"Queen Elsa! Don't be the monster they fear you are!" Elsa heard Hans say.
Elsa hesitated. What am I doing?! I'm not a murderer. I might be a ton of other bad things, but I'm not that. I don't want to stoop to killing someone…do I? I don't really want to be a monster. If not killing those intruders makes me not a monster, then I don't want to do it.
I knew you'd do the right thing, Anna's voice seemed to say in Elsa's head.
Wait a second…why would Hans care what- Elsa's suspicion that something was amiss were cut short as she heard a forbidding tinkling sound high overhead. She gasped as she looked up to see her ice chandelier plummeting toward her. What happened to my chandelier?! Elsa started scrambling frantically out of the way. That thing was going to crush her if it landed on her. Move, Elsa! Move!
Elsa felt tiny shards of ice pricking her back, and she somehow tripped and went sprawling headfirst. All Elsa could think was that her head hurt something awful, and that something was dubious about how her chandelier had fallen, although she wasn't sure what.
The last thing Elsa heard was her ice chandelier shattering into thousands of pieces and a nasty ringing sound. Then everything went black.
"What did you save her for?!" the Weselton guard pinned to the wall exclaimed angrily a moment later. "I almost had her! The winter would have ended!"
"We do not know that one way or the other," Hans answered. "Perhaps Queen Elsa can lift the winter herself." He wondered whether she really could or not. Probably not. But he needed to at least talk to her before letting her die. Then it wouldn't look like he had anything to do with her demise. Hans knelt next to Elsa, checking her wrist for a pulse. "She's just knocked out," he told everyone.
"Leave her there then," the other Weselton man said, having managed to edge his way around the ice wall and back into the room.
"Leave the queen here?!" Hans feigned incredulity at that suggestion. "We must take her back to Arendelle. She's been injured."
The Arendelle guards nodded in agreement. Yes, Elsa had caused a lot of trouble for Arendelle, but she was still the rightful queen.
Hans scooped up Elsa's limp form and carried her out of the palace.
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER…
"Prince Hans, you didn't need to tie her up," one Arendelle guard pointed out. "Queen Elsa is unconscious for one thing, and if she did wake up, I don't think simple ropes would keep her from leaving if she wanted to anyway…"
Hans made no reply. There really was no answer to that logic. He glanced at Elsa lying in the back of the sled. Yep, bringing her back is definitely the right course of action. I couldn't just leave her in that ice building…nah…
Elsa stirred a bit and made a quiet whimpering noise. She couldn't even open her eyes right now because her head hurt so much. What happened? Where am I? Why do my wrists and ankles feel all constricted? Elsa could sort of feel that she was lying on something that was moving, but it hurt to think and she couldn't seem to remember anything that just happened. She felt the whatever-it-was stop moving and then tried unsuccessfully to turn her face away from the bitter-tasting liquid someone was trying to feed her. That's icky…what is it? she thought absently.
"Drink up. It'll make your head feel better. That's it. Good girl," Elsa heard someone say.
Elsa couldn't remember why, but now the bit of her mind that was actually coherent was screaming at her to get away from whoever that person was. That person wasn't trying to help her. She just knew he wasn't. He might be poisoning her, for all she knew. Or he might hurt her and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Move, Elsa…move…stupid girl…make yourself get up and move…I can't…I need to… Elsa's body refused to listen to her and she drifted off into nothingness again.
Hans sighed in relief when Elsa went still again. If Elsa had woken up all the way, she might very well have easily frozen the whole lot of them. And even if she didn't do that, she would definitely simply run off and escape. Besides, he knew Elsa wasn't stupid. She was already at least somewhat suspicious of him, he knew, and for good reason.
Hours later, the group arrived back in Arendelle. Hans knew exactly where he was going to put Elsa. After exploring the castle Anna had left him in charge of, he'd found that cell with the special shackles in it. Surely Elsa wouldn't be able to escape out of there.
"What happened to her?!" Gerda asked in concern as Hans and his entourage came into the castle with a still unconscious Elsa. She reached for Elsa and quickly carried her inside before getting those ropes off her. "Why did you do that to her? She isn't even awake, for goodness sakes."
"We could not find the princess," Hans said, skirting the question.
Gerda ignored him and began taking Elsa upstairs.
"What do you think you're doing?" Hans asked.
"I'm going to put our rightful queen in her own room," Gerda informed him, not caring that technically Hans was in charge until Anna returned and/or Elsa retook her proper place.
"You can't put her there. She's dangerous-she froze the whole kingdom, for goodness sakes. It would be safer for everyone, including Queen Elsa, if she was put downstairs in that special cell," Hans replied.
"Put a guard outside her room, then. Prince Hans, you can't put Queen Elsa in the dungeon," Gerda said, frowning down at the unconscious girl in her arms. Elsa can't go down there again. She's going to be really upset if she wakes up like that…
"What if she goes out of control again? All of Arendelle is frozen as it is."
"She froze Arendelle because she was scared and upset! Do you really think locking Queen Elsa in the dungeon will help her fix what she's done?"
"It will keep her from causing any more damage. Queen Elsa is going down there whether you approve or not."
"Then I'll take her myself." Gerda knew she didn't have the authority to go against anything Hans was doing since Anna had left him in charge, but she could at least make sure Elsa was as safe and comfortable as she could be down there.
Although he would never admit it, Hans was actually a bit scared of Elsa…the girl had nearly killed two armed people with her bare hands, she had frozen an entire kingdom, and she already didn't like him. So Hans gladly allowed Gerda to take Elsa down to the dungeon. Maybe she would freeze Gerda instead of him.
Gerda gently set Elsa down on the bench in that cell. She had a sick feeling that Elsa still being unconscious didn't have anything to do with getting knocked on the head. There wasn't a mark on Elsa anywhere aside from a bruise near her hairline that couldn't be seen at all unless you looked closely. Elsa wouldn't be unconscious for all this time just from that. Someone kept her knocked out on purpose. Gerda frowned and carefully laid Elsa's now-shackled hands next to her before covering her with a blanket. Then she left a short note next to Elsa, hoping Elsa would find and read it when she woke up.
Elsa stirred a few minutes later. The first thought that popped into her head was that she needed to get up and run, since the last thing she remembered was that voice she didn't trust talking to her. My head doesn't hurt quite so much anymore…I still have a nasty headache, though… Elsa's eyes slowly fluttered open and took in her surroundings. I'm imagining this, right? Either I'm delirious or someone is playing a horrible joke on me…please tell me this isn't the castle dungeon…please… Elsa slowly sat up, the blanket that had been covering her falling to the floor. I'm still wearing my ice-dress…is this real? Please don't let this be real…please…wait, who cares if this is real or not; I need to get out of here! Even in her still-confused state, Elsa still knew she needed to escape somehow. Elsa jumped to her feet, ignoring her aching head, and ran toward the single window. She could just break the glass and get out that way.
Elsa felt a painful yank on her arms as the chains pulled taut. She turned back to see her hands shackled for the third time in her life. This isn't a dream. This is real…terribly, awfully real. Who thought it would be funny to put me here? I was already knocked out…why didn't they just leave me in my ice palace to die? I'd rather be dead than be in here. I hate this place. This place makes me feel sick inside. Elsa carefully stepped around the chains and looked out the latticed window as best she could. It was enough to show her the frozen fjord outside. Elsa had known she'd frozen Arendelle since Anna had told her so, but it was another thing entirely to see the mess for herself. "Oh no…what have I done?" she whispered. And I can't even fix it. You're useless, Elsa. You shouldn't even exist.
Elsa jerked her gaze toward the door when she heard a key in the lock. Oh, it's you, Prince Hans. Now I know what happened. You brought me back here for some inexplicable reason. You're the one who was feeding me that nasty liquid evidently on the way back to Arendelle…wait, was that some kind of drug that made me stay asleep? What happened with my chandelier? "Why did you bring me here?" she asked, using the most authoritative voice she could muster, despite her situation.
"I couldn't just let them kill you," Hans replied, thinking he was indirectly telling Elsa she would be dead if he hadn't intervened.
So you did drop the chandelier on me? Why did you stop me from killing those people anyway? If you hadn't said anything to me, I would have done it. I know I would have…they wouldn't have had a chance to kill me…I'm glad you stopped me, but there had to have been something in it for you…And I shouldn't be here in Arendelle. If I caused this much damage when I was miles and miles away, then it'll be ten times worse with me nearby. Elsa held up her shackled hands. "But I'm a danger to Arendelle." Wait a second…Hans doesn't have the authority to put me here. And I know Anna wouldn't have done that. That means someone else is in charge, right? Who took my sister's place when she came after me? "Get Anna." Anna will let me go. I know she wants me to stay in Arendelle, but she wouldn't leave me chained up down here. I know she wouldn't.
"Anna has not returned." Hans paused, making sure that information sunk into Elsa's head.
Elsa turned a worried face back toward the window. Anna is stuck out in that storm?! What if she's lost? Or she got attacked by wolves? She's going to freeze to death! Someone needs to find her! What if…what if I really did hit her when I exploded like that? Please no…please…
"If you would just stop the winter, bring back summer…please," Hans continued.
Elsa closed her eyes and shook her head a bit before looking back at Hans and saying, "Don't you see? I can't…" Do you really think I want to leave Arendelle like this? I don't know how to fix what I did. And now Anna is missing! I need to get out of here…I'm dangerous to Arendelle and I need to go look for Anna. "You have to tell them to let me go!" she added desperately. Elsa didn't trust Hans in the least, but it wasn't like she had much choice of who to turn to for help in her position.
"I will do what I can."
Elsa's blue eyes widened as the door shut and locked behind Hans, leaving her fearful, angry, and alone. What else is new? That's the way I always am anyway…and I have a sinking feeling Hans is not going to help me. He didn't look completely sincere to me. Saying you'll 'do what you can' isn't a promise to help someone. It's skirting the question. And where's Anna?! I have to find her! I need to know she's safe! Elsa gasped and looked down as she felt frost forming on her hands and spreading onto her shackles. Great. I'm going out of control again.
Elsa plopped down on the bench and kicked at the chains, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu at the action. No flashbacks, Elsa. Just no. Her eyes fell on the note Gerda had left her. Wait…what is that? She squinted in the dim light, trying to read it. If my hands weren't chained up, I could take it over to the window to get some better light, Elsa thought bitterly. Elsa shook her head and peered closely at the note. 'Queen Elsa, you froze all of Arendelle accidentally. You must break out of that cell and escape. You can do it. Your sister hasn't returned, and she left Prince Hans of the Southern Isles in charge in her place. I am not certain, but I don't think he has your or Arendelle's best interest in mind. Your loyal long-time servant.' There was no signature, presumably so that the note could not be traced if found, but Elsa was fairly sure she recognized Gerda's handwriting."So Hans is in charge," she whispered. "He must have coerced Gerda into locking me down here, knowing I wouldn't be able to get out…" But Gerda thinks I can, because I froze Arendelle…but I've actually tried to break these shackles before, and I couldn't. I can't calm that storm, and I can't find Anna. This time I'm helpless…maybe this is where I belong. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe my parents should have just left me here permanently… She lay down and curled into a ball, pulling her knees to her chest as best she could considering those horrid things on her hands. Why can't everything just end? I'm so tired of causing trouble. Now I've probably put a death sentence on my own sister. I don't care what happens to me, but I have to know if Anna is okay! Tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks. There was nothing left for her to do. She couldn't even try to look for her sister, let alone stop the storm outside.
And after two days of freedom, the forced confinement was doubly awful to Elsa. I just wanted to be free…I didn't expect anyone to accept me or anything; I knew that was impossible. But for just a little while, I was just plain me and I was happy. I even made something pretty for once. Anna liked what I made, even. I should have known it was too good to last. Someone like me will never be happy…probably doesn't deserve to be… Elsa looked down at her ice-dress, the last thing she had that reminded her of the bit of happiness she had found on North Mountain. That's who I am. I don't know if I'm a monster or a freak or defective or any of those other horrible things, but I know one thing I definitely am.
I am the Snow Queen. I don't know if she can ever be a good person or not-probably not, I suppose, since she's dangerous; but the Snow Queen is one thing I know I am. I cannot escape from myself. Myself is the Snow Queen. End of story. "If I am the Snow Queen, I can break out of here," Elsa said softly. I'm stronger than when I was down here last. I can get out of here.
Elsa stood up and looked worriedly at the ceiling, where rivulets of ice were beginning to spread. The Snow Queen must leave before she annihilates everything. She needs to find her sister, Elsa thought, referring to herself in third person, trying to detach herself from what was going on. She needs to find her sister and then get as far away from Arendelle as possible. Break the shackles open, Snow Queen. She can do this. She froze a whole kingdom.
Elsa's determined focus on what she was doing faded as she heard voices in the corridor. Wait a second… 'She's dangerous'? 'Move quickly'? They're down here to kill me! Get out of here, Elsa! Hurry up! She could feel the thick metal starting to give way a little as she tugged and pulled on the chains and ice spread over them, but they wouldn't break open. And she still needed to blast through the wall somehow. Ice spread over the walls of the cell and over the door, sealing it shut. That should buy me a bit more time…Elsa, BREAK THEM! You're the Snow Queen and you need to go find Anna! Get out! Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and yanked with all her might, ignoring her burning wrists. I've always been helpless to do anything about being locked anywhere, but no more. I am not that gullible little eight-year-old anymore. I will not just accept people treating me like this anymore. I am the Snow Queen. Elsa, you can do this. You froze the kingdom out of fear. Break the shackles open the same way. Channeling all the negative emotions that overwhelmed her into her hands, Elsa finally managed to crack the shackles open.
The shackles fell to the floor and ice exploded toward the wall, making the wall give out under the intense pressure. Elsa gaped in surprise that yes, she had actually done it, at the opening she had made for a split second before coming to her senses and darting outside into the storm just in time.
Behind her, Hans growled in frustration. He had been so close to his goal, and she had foiled it. Again. Hans plunged out into the storm after Elsa, leaving the guards behind.
Out on the frozen fjord, Elsa squinted through the swirling blizzard as she shielded her eyes with one hand. She had no sense of direction, no idea where she was going. Only that she needed to find Anna and then run far, far away, never to return. Maybe the snow would melt eventually if she was far enough away. Anna, please don't be…dead. I need to find you! Then I'll leave and you'll be safe from me.
Elsa turned again and stumbled off in a different direction. She knew she was out on the fjord, but she couldn't tell where at all. Everything was white, and she couldn't see more than a foot in front of her. She could have been going in circles for all she knew. I should be able to find my way through my own storm! Then again, this is just an extreme showing of the storm inside of me and I can't find my way through that. It's just stuck there…I can't get rid of it…therefore I can't get rid of this blizzard either…FIND ANNA, ELSA! You need to find Anna and get her safely inside the castle! Time slowed for Elsa; it seemed like an eternity to her right now. Wind whistled loudly, whipping her platinum braid in her face. Elsa blinked and flicked it back behind her as she tried a new direction in the white nothingness.
Elsa flinched backwards when she saw a gray shadow coming toward her. That's not Anna. Someone's probably after me…
"Elsa! You can't run from this!" Elsa heard Hans say.
Elsa backed away and resisted the urge to yell out a sarcastic No kidding! at him. I know that! Stop reminding me! My storm is here to stay, and I'm never going to amount to anything good…just a destructive cold Snow Queen… She could honestly say she hated that man. He had locked her in the dungeon just like her parents had, except he did not even have the authority to do so. And WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE JUST LEFT HER FOR DEAD AT THE ICE PALACE?! I wouldn't have cared. I would've just woken up injured and starved to death eventually. Good riddance to the world. Remembering he had at the very least feigned liking Anna even if he didn't truly care, Elsa just replied, "Just…take care of my sister!" Please. He has to take care of Anna. Even if he's after the throne somehow, he cannot take over without Anna around. He'll have to take care of my sister for selfish reasons at least. Anna will be safer with him than with me.
"Your sister? She returned from the mountains weak and cold. She said you froze her heart," Hans informed her.
Elsa dropped her gaze to the ice-covered fjord. "What? No…" she whispered, horrified. So I did hit her. I hurt Anna! I HURT ANNA AGAIN! Elsa, what have you done?!
Wait…maybe Hans is lying to me. It's possible, right? But why would he lie to me about that? Elsa's hopeful thoughts vanished as Hans continued,
"I tried to save her, but it was too late. Her skin was ice. Her hair turned white…"
Please no…please let this all be some horrible dream and I'll wake up. Too late? That means Anna is…dead. I killed her! She was the only one who ever accepted me like I am and that's how I repay her? I'm just a monster…if I really cared about Anna, that wouldn't have happened. Elsa's expression sank, realizing just what she had done. That girl who nearly killed those men invading her palace…that is who I am. There isn't anything good about me. I'd already doomed my own sister before that whole thing even happened…
Hans dropped the final blow on Elsa's battered spirit. "Your sister is dead…Because of you."
Elsa's heart shattered to pieces at those awful words as she turned and staggered a few steps away before collapsing to her knees on the ice. I'm a murderer. I killed the one person I've ever had contact with that was always there for me even though I couldn't be there for her. The violent blizzard abruptly ended, leaving snowflakes suspended in midair picturing Elsa's complete and utter despair inside. She couldn't bring Anna back. The one thing that had kept her going for so long was gone.
Permanently gone because of her.
Oh Anna…wherever you are now, can you see me? Can you hear me? Read my thoughts? I'm so, so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I ruined your childhood. I'm sorry I couldn't be a good sister to you. I'm sorry I have these horrible powers I can't control. I'm sorry I hurt you when we were little. I'm sorry I ignored you for all those years. I'm sorry I…killed you. You don't have to forgive me; I don't expect it. You should hate me. Why am I still alive and Anna isn't? I'm the monster, not her. Anna should have just let me finish what I started when I was eighteen. Then Arendelle wouldn't be frozen and Anna wouldn't be dead. But no, she had to go and save her defective freak of a sister instead. Elsa's anguished mind vaguely registered the sound of a sword unsheathing behind her, but she didn't even flinch. I don't deserve to live. I need Anna…wait, I promised Anna I wouldn't commit suicide…is letting someone kill me the same thing? I don't know…it doesn't matter. I'm nothing without Anna. I have absolutely nothing to live for without her. Anna, please forgive me…please…we'll be together again soon, I hope…I promise…maybe I won't be defective anymore…except someone like me wouldn't go to the same place Anna would…I don't know… Elsa thought she heard someone scream, but she didn't move. Why wasn't she dead yet? Who was teasing her by making her think they were going to kill her and then not do it?
Elsa suddenly noticed a blue icy hand right next to her. Wait a second… She jumped to her feet, realizing just what had happened. "Anna!" Anna, why did you sacrifice yourself for me?! Why would you do that? And then an angry thought, That means Hans was lying to me! Anna wasn't dead! But she is now…and it's definitely my fault. Elsa touched her sister's frozen face with one hand. The one time she was able to touch Anna brought no joy to her. It just made Elsa hurt worse inside. "Oh, Anna, no…no…please no…" Why, Anna, why?! Why would you save me? I'm the one that killed you. I didn't even want to be saved…I should be dead, not you. She finally fell to her knees and cried, hugging Anna's frozen form tightly. And if I'd defended myself, maybe you wouldn't have sacrificed yourself for me…this is all my fault, a hundred times over, just like everything else. Why can't I just disappear? Is it just what my future is supposed to be, to always be tormented inside for being different? I hate myself. I really, really hate Elsa. All she does is ruin things. And she killed her little sister! That's just completely unforgivable. Elsa jumped in surprise when she thought she felt Anna move. "Wha-? Anna?" It's probably just my imagination playing a trick on me…
But no. Anna opened her eyes and smiled at her sister. Elsa is safe. She's safe. That horrid creep didn't get her. "Oh, Elsa," she said softly.
On instinct, both of them just hugged the other one close as tight as they could. I'm…hugging Anna and I'm not hurting her?! Anna isn't dead…she's right here. SHE'S RIGHT HERE! Anna is alive! She's alive! Elsa couldn't believe her eyes. "You…sacrificed yourself for me?" Elsa asked, still not quite able to accept what just happened. One second she had thought she'd killed Anna and was about to die herself, and now here they both were, safe and sound.
"I love you," Anna replied simply, holding Elsa's hands in hers. Elsa isn't pulling away! She's letting me touch her! The real memories from their childhood flooded back in a rush. Building snowmen with Elsa in the ballroom. Elsa experimenting with cooling the temperature in their room. Elsa chasing 'monsters' out from under Anna's bed with an ice blast. Elsa freezing her squash at the dinner table. Having snowball fights in their room.
An observing Olaf was so excited he lifted his head right off his snowy body and exclaimed, "An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart!"
Wait…an act of true love? "Love…will thaw…" Elsa said, thinking hard to herself. I can thaw things with love? I have to be happy and love at the same time…that's it! That's how to fix the mess I made all over Arendelle! "Love! Of course!" Elsa glanced down at her hands and began channeling the love she had for her sister and trying to keep the kingdom safe. I'm doing it! I'm really doing it! I'm…fixing the mess I made. I'm really, truly fixing it! Ice and snow swirled up from the fjord, from the castle, from all the buildings in the kingdom, forming a colossal icy snowflake high overhead. I am the Snow Queen. And this time she can control what she's doing.
Thank you, Anna. And the huge snowflake dissolved into nothing. Elsa, you just thawed something-the whole kingdom!-for the first time since you were eight! Elsa suddenly realized another thing.
She could feel the temperature change. At least that's what she thought it was. Elsa turned and smiled at her sister.
"I knew you could do it," Anna announced, laying a hand on Elsa's shoulder.
You have too much confidence in me, Anna. You nearly died because of me, Elsa thought, although she was much, much happier now. Elsa couldn't remember the last time she felt like this. Probably before the accident when they were little.
"Hands down, this is the best day of my life! And quite possibly the last," Olaf said good-naturedly as he started melting in the now warm summer temperature.
"Oh, Olaf…Hang on, little guy," Elsa said, and waved a small snow cloud over Olaf's head into existence.
"My own personal flurry!" Olaf said excitedly.
Suddenly the happy moment was interrupted by the sound of someone groaning. Elsa watched as the man she'd seen with Anna at the ice palace start marching toward Hans, and then Anna motioning him aside and walking over to Hans herself. Elsa just blinked, slightly confused, at the whole scene. Where did Hans come from? I know he was out on the fjord, but did he get knocked out somehow or something? I don't know…
"Anna? But she froze your heart," Hans said.
My sister is not just a she! She's Queen Elsa of Arendelle! "The only frozen heart around here is yours," Anna announced. She started to turn and go back over to her sister; then changed her mind and abruptly whipped around and punched Hans with her all strength, making him fly over the edge of the ship and splash into the fjord. So there. How dare that horrid jerk try to hurt Elsa!
Elsa held her arms out hesitantly to her sister. Can I have a hug, Anna? Please? You don't have to if you don't want to, though…
Anna immediately noticed her sister's timid offer and promptly hugged her close. Good grief, Elsa, I'm not going to turn you down. Ever. It's been long enough.
Elsa was just so, so happy. She was hugging Anna without being sick or chained up in the dungeon. And she wasn't wearing gloves. And Anna knew about her powers. Just like when we were little. "Anna, I'm so happy," she whispered. The one and only thing that was bothering her now was a nasty headache that had been completely forgotten in all the events of the past few minutes. I'd gladly have a headache all the time if it meant I could have Anna back and be able to be around her safely.
Anna pulled away from Elsa and gave her a concerned look. "Are you all right, Elsa? That stupid creep almost…almost…I don't wanna say it…"
"I'm okay. I just have a headache, that's all. Anna, d-do…do you…" Elsa paused, trying to figure out just what she wanted to say. "…do you…want to t-take my place? I don't think a-anyone will want m-me on the throne anymore," she finally finished. I'm with Anna. I can handle anything. Anna can take my place. I don't think anyone is going to want me around at all…if I have to, I'll go back and live at my ice palace and Anna can visit me sometimes or something.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Anna was angry that Elsa would even suggest such a thing. Elsa is the rightful queen, not me. Tough luck if some people don't like her. That just means they're stupid and horrid.
Elsa flinched at Anna's shouting. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, really…I, that is, well…just if people don't want me here, I'll g-go back to the ice palace and you c-could come visit sometimes. If you w-wanted to, that is."
Anna took her sister's hands again, making Elsa jump. "No, Elsa, you belong here. You are the rightful queen. Yes, you did freeze everything, but you just fixed that. If anyone doesn't want you on the throne, they will have to deal with me. I'll punch 'em!"
Elsa smiled a bit at that; then frowned. "Anna, what if…no one wants me here at all? I d-don't think anyone wants a…a…a defective girl that's b-barely old enough to rule in the first place in charge of their c-country…"
"Elsa, you are not defective! You are simply a girl that has a super awesome special ability to make ice and snow." Anna took Elsa's hand and held it next to her own. "Look, Elsa. Look at your hand and compare it with mine. What do you see?"
Elsa made a puzzled face. What on earth is Anna getting at? "I see one hand with light skin and a-another one that's abnormally pale. Why?"
Anna sighed. That was not what Elsa was supposed to say. "Elsa, they're exactly the same except for our skin tones-and yours, may I add, is not 'abnormally pale'! You just have really fair skin. My point is that you're a human girl too, same as me and anyone else. You just have cool abilities besides, that's all." She paused for a moment, then added, "Can I ask you something? If you don't wanna answer, that's ok, though."
"I suppose so," Elsa replied warily. Please don't ask me what happened at the ice palace after you left, Anna. I'm not ready to talk about it yet…I don't know if I'll ever be ready.
"Why are you stuttering a little when you talk?" Anna asked. "You didn't do that before."
Elsa bit her lip and looked down at the ship deck they were standing on. Good grief, I don't know. I'm glad you didn't ask me anything more complicated, though… "I don't know. I notice when I d-do it-like just now-but it just sort of…happens sometimes…" Something else wrong with me. I think it's mostly when I'm not entirely certain what I want to say or if I'm upset or something, but it's probably just from not having any proper conversations in forever.
"Ok! Well, I don't care how you talk; I'm just glad we're together again," Anna replied quickly. "I want to introduce you to somebody. Come here, Elsa!"
Elsa let Anna pull her towards the man she'd seen Anna with in the ice palace, but firmly planted her feet in one spot when she felt like they were getting too close. "No closer, Anna…please," she said quietly so only Anna could hear.
Anna nodded and let her sister stay where she was. "This is Kristoff, Elsa. He helped me get up the North Mountain after I kinda lost my horse and stuff. And brought me back to Arendelle after you-after I visited you at the ice palace. Kristoff, that's my sister Elsa. And she's super nice. And…so, yeah! Say hello to each other or something, you two!"
Anna found another guy already? Seriously?! At least this one seems genuine on first glance. "Thank you f-for helping my sister, Kristoff," Elsa broke the silence finally.
"You're welcome, Queen Elsa," Kristoff said.
Elsa's eyes widened in surprise. "You still want m-me on the throne?" she asked. I sure didn't expect him to say that. At all. And quit stuttering, Elsa! You don't always do that.
Kristoff shrugged. "You're the rightful queen. Don't see why that would change. Besides, nobody is going to try to kick you out. They won't want to tick you off after seeing all the cool things you can do."
You mean people aren't going to try to kick me out because they'll be scared of me…but if Kristoff doesn't mind me, then maybe everyone else won't either. Elsa smiled a bit, but she didn't say anything.
"Ok, so, chitchat time over!" Anna exclaimed briskly a moment later. If she didn't take control, Elsa and Kristoff might just stand there wondering what to say the rest of the afternoon. "Elsa, you are going to freeze a path to shore for all of us to walk on. I've seen you do it already, so don't say you can't. Then we are going inside the castle and have private sister time so we can catch up on things till tomorrow morning. You can take care of any extra political fixing stuff tomorrow." Then Anna whispered in Elsa's ear, "Can Kristoff stay in a guest room in the castle? He did help me a lot."
Elsa nodded. Thanks, Anna. I seriously hate talking to strangers. And I'm still kind of…rattled by everything that's happened today. And my head hurts.
"Elsa says you can stay in a guest room in the castle if you want," Anna told Kristoff.
"I'd rather stay in the stable with Sven, if that's ok," Kristoff replied.
"That's fine," Elsa spoke up. Then she whispered to Anna, "What if everyone's like 'What's she d-doing here?' at me? I might lose control a-again…"
"They won't. And if they do, I will literally punch them. And you're not going to lose control. C'mon, Elsa. You can do this." Anna held out her hand, and after a moment, Elsa took it.
Squeezing her sister's hand tightly, Elsa closed her eyes and made an icy path back to shore. I can do this. Anna's right here. I am the Snow Queen. I know the key to controlling it now. Elsa smiled as she opened her eyes and stepped onto the ice with Anna.
A/N: Yay, Elsa thawed everything!:)
Were Elsa's thoughts during the fight scene at the ice palace believable? Because if you watch her expressions closely during that scene, she's alternately scared, upset, and near the end, angry. Opinions, please?:)
There is NO way Elsa stayed unconscious all the way back to Arendelle and there's nothing seriously wrong with her, so...yeah, Hans is just doubly a creep. Made sense to me.:P
Yes, Anna has her childhood memories back...I always thought she had them back since her white streak disappeared.:)
I'll wrap this story up in the next couple chapters. Elsa still needs to spend some time with Anna and fix all the repercussions from all the stuff that just happened.:)
Next chapter coming soon!:)